Friends S03E16 1d
- Previously on Friends: - I don't feel like I have a girlfriend. You want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend? - Is this about Mark? - Oh, my God. - Okay, it's not. - Oh, my God. I cannot keep having the same fight with you! Look, maybe we should just take a break. Fine. You're right. Let's take a break. Let's get some frozen yogurt or something. No. A break from us. Then we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break. I don't want to take a break. This is crazy. Don't you think we can work on this? What do you want to drink? Who's that? Nobody. Is that Mark? Honey, look, he just... Yeah. Got it! Hey, come dance. What, are you married? Because that's okay. How was the big anniversary dinner? Well, we never actually got to dinner. Nice. No, we kind of broke up instead. What? My God, Monica! It's on the ceiling! That's okay. This is more important than fruit... ...on my ceiling. You broke up? Yeah, but it's okay because when Ross left, Mark came over. - Oh, no! You and Mark? - It's okay. Calm down. Mark and I talked... ...and I realized how much I love your stupid brother, and... ...yeah, we got our problems, but I really wanna make it work. Morning! The One the Morning After Hi, it's me. I've been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you've gotta know there's nothing between me and Mark. This whole breakup thing is just stupid. I'm just so sorry I put you through it. And I don't want to get back together over a machine. - So I love you. - I love you. And you know what? I'm gonna go to bed now... ...but on my way to work tomorrow, I'm gonna stop by around 8:30. Bye. Chloe, how's it coming? What kind of puppy do you think I should get? You know, I don't know. How about a big one? - But my apartment's so... - Well, then a small one. - Listen, we have to go. - Wait! Where's my shoes? You sure you need shoes? Do I know why we're rushing? Yeah, you know the girlfriend I told you about? Well, it turns out that she wants to get back together with me. I found it! That's so great for you guys! You must be so happy! Yes, I am. One of the many things I'm feeling. - Good luck with your girlfriend. - Oh, thank you. - You got my message? - You are right on time! So, what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again? Yes, you can. Very much. - Why are you mopping your ceiling? - There's banana on it. I have the spirit of an old Indian woman living in mine. So then you know. The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail. - Oh, good. Thanks. - Now, what is Fabutech? All right, don't judge me too much, okay? But I saw this infomercial, and I swear to you I have never, ever... ...bought anything on TV before. Except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg-waxing. It looked so amazing. Waxine! Yes! Have you seen it? It's incredible! I so want to be a Waxine Girl! I know! Do you think it really doesn't hurt? Because how can they do that? Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest? They have the best stuff in there. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! We figured when we couldn't find you, you'd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you should have done, huh? You think? God, I'm in hell. I mean, what am I gonna do? Rachel's all like, "I love you," and "Let's work on this"... ...and all I can think about... ...is what is she gonna do when I tell her what I did? Before we answer that, we should address the more important question: How dumb are you? What? Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right? How am I supposed to do that without being totally honest? Ross, look, I'm onboard about the total-honesty thing. I am. Just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble. He's right. Nobody's gonna benefit, and you're just gonna hurt her. Yeah, and there won't be a relationship left to rebuild. Don't you think...? Look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait till the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for. - Yeah, okay. - All right. Okay. Now, we just have to make sure she doesn't find out some other way. Did you think about the trail? What trail? The trail from the woman you did it with... ...to the woman you hope never finds out you did it! You always have to think about the trail! I don't think there's any trail. Chloe works with that guy, Isaac. Isaac's sister is Jasmine, and Jasmine works at the massage place with Phoebe. And Phoebe's friends with Rachel, and that's the trail! I did it! "After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one..." - Did that! - Okay. "Grasp one of the linen strips by its easy-grab tab... ...and pull it off in one quick, pain-free motion." Was it not "pain-free"? No, it was pain-ful! Oh, my God, they should call it "Pain-zine, now with a little wax." The girls in the satin nighties on the commercial... ...don't seem to think it's that bad. That's because their nerves are deadened from being so stupid. But, hey, you know, if you don't believe me, please, be my guest. Oh, my God! Now aren't you glad we didn't start with the bikini strips? Chloe, hi. Is this about me taking your watch? - You took my watch? - I'm sorry. I do that. You keep it. Listen, did you tell anyone about us? Oh, no. I feel like it really isn't anybody's business, you know? Exactly. So you didn't mention anything to Isaac, right? - Oh, I tell Isaac everything. - You do? Of course you do. Hi, Isaac. You know, we haven't actually met. You dog! Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But see, I happen to have a girlfriend. Oh, right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place. Yeah, that's the one. Listen, I don't want to hurt her. Oh, hey, man, I know. It doesn't matter how much we love them. Monogamy is too cruel a rule. Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself? Oh, no problem, dude. We gotta look out for each other. We're the same, you and me. Actually, no, we're not. Yeah, we are. No, we're not. Yeah, we are. No, we're not. - Okay, we're not. - Right. But we are.
