Friends S03E17 2d
- Chandler! - What? What does the sign say? "Beam me up, Jesus." The "No smoking" sign. There's no smoking in my grandmother's cab. Well, then, I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, please! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas. There's a rest stop right up there. Come on, I really have to go! Oh, now I have to go! Is that all that it takes? Sometimes just a small breeze... Here we go. - Brace yourself! - What? - Aren't you gonna go? - No, thanks. Rachel never pees in public restrooms. They never have any paper in there. So my rule is, "No tissue, no tushy." Well, if everybody's going... - Don't close it! The keys are in there! - Oh, no, no, no! - What's going on? - My lighter's in there! Damn! The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this. Relax. I can open this. Anybody got a coat hanger? Oh, I do. No, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning. So if your parents hadn't divorced... ...you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person? Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. One of you give me your bra underwire. What?! Come on! Who has the biggest boobs? Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra and wire. - No! - It's too expensive! To get back in the car, we need that wire. Your call. Okay. Monica's are the biggest. These tiny little non-breasts? Please! Gotta be Rachel. What? No, mine are deceptively small. I mean, I actually sometimes stuff my bra. Well, then, your bra would still be big. No, I stuff outside the bra. Ladies, let's just compromise, okay? Phoebe, Rachel, take off Monica's bra. All right, forget it, never mind. - You can have mine. - Thank you. Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there. I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us. Okay. There. Wow. Thank you, Phoebe. That is very generous. Wow. This is nice. Were you planning on meeting somebody up there? Okay. Now let's decide who has the nicest ass. And there you go! Chandler. Well, at least let me smoke it to the good part! Okay. Oh, no. - What? - What? What's going on? Yeah, this has happened before. - So you know how to fix it? - Yep. Put more gas in. Hi. What are you doing here? I was wondering, when you and I split up... ...did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M.A.S. H... ...and half the hostages coming home? Yeah, but now it's Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home. - Where's Ben? - He's sleeping. - Is this a bad time? - Yeah, actually. Susan's gonna be here any minute. It's kind of an anniversary. I thought you guys got married in January. - Different kind of anniversary. - Oh. Oh. So anyway... Candles, champagne. Yeah, anniversaries are great... ...because love lasts forever, you know? Nothing like it in this lifetime. Money in the bank. So Rachel and I broke up. - God, Ross, I am so sorry. - Yeah. You know what? I wanna talk about this so much... ...when we can really get into it. You free for dinner tomorrow? - Yeah. I'd love that. - Me too. I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. - Okay. Yeah. Triple-A can pick us up. - Good. - What town are we near? - Fremont. - Westmont. Westberg? - Okay. Why are you answering? - Do you know what route we're on? - We are definitely on Route 27. Okay. We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. There is no Route 27. - Okay. Either 93 or 76. - I don't know. I'm sorry. I always slept in the back when we drove here. Can you just send someone up and down 76 and check every rest stop? And also 93? Okay. Yeah. No, they don't do that. Okay. Somebody will come and save us. Who? Have you seen a car in the last hour and a half? We should call Ross. - He can get a car to pick us up. - No! I am not getting in a car with Ross! We will just have to live here. - But it's cold. - I'm not getting in a car with him. - Think of something else. - Good. Joey and Chandler are back! - So the "going for help" went well? - Yeah. Smokey Joe here got halfway to the highway and collapsed. I have the lung capacity of a 2-year-old. - Then why are you smoking? - Well, it's very unsettling.
