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E-Books (english-e-reader), Delivery (1)

Delivery (1)

In her house outside the town, Mrs Kennedy writes her diary, paints the views from her windows, and finds no comfort in the world.

Every week Charlie Blue delivers a box of groceries to her door, but she never appears. It is now one year since the accident...

On Thursdays, after the last delivery of the long day, which was to the mad Kennedy woman, Charlie Blue was allowed to keep the van for the night. He could drive home to his mother, proud behind the wheel of the yellow van, waving to any of the boys from his schooldays he might happen to see in their long gardens, playing with their children or cutting their midsummer grass. The arrangement suited his mother. She would have the dinner ready for him and then, after watching their favourite TV programme Coronation Street together, he would drive her into town to Horan's Hotel for her weekly game of cards. Tommy Horan also owned the grocery store and she thought he was a great man, a generous man to let her son have the van so that she could get to her game of cards. Charlie said nothing, but knew Tommy Horan to be a bit of a bollocks, selling his tired vegetables and soft tomatoes and eggs that were no longer fresh. He said nothing because his mother could become as nasty as her twelve-year-old dog, which she allowed to sit on her knees while she fed it with the better bits of meat from her dinner plate.

There was a light shower of rain as Charlie was driving to Mrs Kennedy's. The sun appeared strongly again from behind the clouds, the road shone blackly, and the smells of fresh-cut grass and warm earth rose from the fields and came in through the open window of the van. With one hand, Charlie took out a cigarette from a packet and lit it with his Horan's Hotel cigarette lighter. He felt lucky. Lucky to have his driver's licence, lucky to have his mother still alive, lucky to be working for Tommy Horan, even if he was an old bollocks.

August 20

A month already. A day just as lovely as that day, the clouds low over the hills. Light seed balls blowing across the land like a first snow. And I hate this beauty because Bobby cannot see it. I paint it but I hate it. With their sharp wings, the birds cut open the sky and I am delighted to see it bleed. From my window, I can see the gate and the red wallflowers, staining the stones with their blood. At night, the screams of hunted animals comfort me. I am not the only one in pain. In the morning, I cannot bear to dress, and prefer to wear only shadows. I go to each of my fifteen windows and decide which view to paint today. I might eat, if my body lets me, and then I move to my chosen window and start to paint.

Charlie drove carefully around the last bend before the Kennedy house. It was a year to the day, he realized, since poor old Foley lost control of his tractor on this very bend and killed Mrs Kennedy's young son. Bobby was his name, only four or five years of age. He and his mother were planting flowers at the foot of the big stone pillars either side of the gate, when around the corner came Foley, shouting about the brakes. The front of the tractor was already too close to the pillar on the left, throwing up grass and earth into the sky. Mikey Tuohy, who saw the whole thing from his field above the road, told the police in detail what happened. His story earned him free beer in the pub for a long time afterwards. He said the screams of the mother nearly stopped his heart. She picked up the boy's body before Tuohy could get there, and she ran all the way up the long driveway to the big house, screaming the whole time as the boy's head dropped lifelessly against her arm and shoulder. Poor old Foley sat on the grass and put his head in his hands and didn't even recognize Tuohy when he reached him. Tuohy said Foley shouldn't have been allowed on the road, not even on a bike, because the old boy was half-blind.

September 3

Horan's got somebody new to deliver the groceries. I recognized him: Charles Cullen. He knocked and stood at the door and stared out for a long time, out beyond the fields. At what, I don't know. He stretched his arms out wide like Christ on the cross, to take the whole world to his heart, perhaps. Then he yawned and knocked again. He lifted his T-shirt and scratched his stomach. With his toe he pushed the box nearer the wall, and left slowly, looking back occasionally at the door. While I was emptying the box afterwards I discovered a box of chocolates I hadn't asked for. I must remember not to pay for that.

Now, at the end of summer, the land is bled dry and colours are slowly returning to brown. The cooler air moves against my skin like long grass. When the night enters the house, I look for Bobby. I want to run a bath and pour warm water over his small, smooth back. I want to turn back his soft sheet and lift him into bed and bring the edge of the sheet to his chin. I want to kiss his eyelids as he sleeps. Instead, the darkness tears at my own.

Once, last autumn, as darkness was falling, Charlie saw an owl standing on the right-pillar of Mrs Kennedy's gate. It didn't move as Charlie edged the van past the ruined left pillar and wall, and then past the gate still on its side since the accident. At first, he thought it was a shadow. He had stopped by the pillar and quietly rolled down the window, when the top of the fat, dark shape turned towards him. From the centre of two wide circles two eyes stared evenly at him, daring him to move, and then with two or three movements of its surprisingly wide wings it slowly, coldly, flew off low over the field towards the trees. Charlie remembered feeling uncomfortable, judged in some way.

October 9

Charles still brings the groceries. For the same reason, I both hate and love him being at my door each week. He reminds me of a better life. I so clearly remember Charles in my class, tall and clumsy at his desk. I had to let him stand in the end. He was freer that way. And the day I decided, he had a gift, it comes back so clearly. (I hate the way I can remember every detail of my life before Bobby and Bobby's death!) He brought his finished painting up to my desk and at first, I was disappointed. 'A Beach in Summer' it was called, but everything in Charles's painting was a different shade of blue, not just the sea: blue sand, blue hills, blue boat, and what I thought was a blue sun. I asked Charles why he hadn't used other colours, and he said in that frightened way he had, 'Well, Miss, it's a beach at night-time, you see.' Charlie Blue they called him after that. Maybe he still paints. I hope so.

When the police arrived, Mrs Kennedy wouldn't let them into the house, Tuohy said. Nor the priest either. In the end, the police had to break a window and get in that way. They found her upstairs washing the child in the bath. The bloodstained water went everywhere, over the walls and the mirror, wetting the priest and the doctor as they forced the dead boy out of her arms. Dr Murphy phoned his wife, who came over and stayed in the house. Mrs Kennedy didn't come out of the bathroom until the next morning. She came downstairs still covered in blood and told Mrs Murphy to kindly leave her house. Hasn't been seen outside her house and garden since the child was buried. From the high field Tuohy says he sometimes sees her sitting all day at one of her windows. Or walking naked to the woodpile or throwing bits of food out for her cats. As Charlie drove the van up the driveway, he looked around for her, as he always did. He threw the end of his cigarette out of the window, thinking to himself that he had only two cigarettes left and that the old bollocks wouldn't be paying him until tomorrow evening. He'd better save them. He looked up at the high field behind Mrs Kennedy's and guessed that Tuohy was probably spending a lot more time up there than he needed to.

December 25

I found a Christmas cake I hadn't ordered in the box of groceries yesterday.

Sometimes a man comes to the gate and stands there, staring up at the house. Who is he? I wonder. He was there last week and again today.

I feel Bobby's presence strongly today. I fetched the Christmas tree from the cellar and put it in the front room, with coloured lights and pretty glass balls on it. I write in its red and blue and green light. I have wrapped his favourite toys and placed them under the tree. I close my eyes and he is there, lying on the carpet by the tree, opening his presents, turning his blond head around to smile up at me, not minding a bit that they're the same presents as last year. I drink my wine and eat a piece of Christmas cake. Too rich for you, Bobby, too rich.

Charlie couldn't imagine his former art teacher naked. Every other woman in town had spent time naked in his dreams, even Mrs Simpson in the post office. Mrs Kennedy was older than her but not by a million years, she could only be forty or so, and she had had a good shape back then during his time at school, even if it was hidden by long dresses and colourful baggy jackets. He had liked her. She hadn't laughed at him for being stupid. She had put up a painting he had done of a beach at nighttime, right up beside the board where everybody could see it. That was good. It was worth being called Charlie Blue for that.

February 18

This week Charlie hid a couple of oranges in the box. I love him for these small presents, the only kisses I receive.

Today the stranger walked up the driveway to the door. I saw him clearly through the glass, tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed. Serious. He just stood there for a long time, unmoving. One of the cats scratched at the kitchen window and I looked away for a moment. When I looked back, he was gone.

Snow fell again today but a hard sun drove it into the hungry grass.

Charlie felt sorry for the thin grey mother cat. She came up to him as he pulled back the side door of the van. He reached down to scratch her head and she replied by rubbing her whole body against the leg of his jeans. It's not much of a life for you, Charlie said, not like you used to have, anyway.

He was halfway to the front door when he saw last week's box exactly where he had left it. A busy line of black ants led from the box to a hole in the front wall of the house. Confused, he walked up and down for a while, looking at the front door and windows. He put the box he was carrying back into the van, lifted his T-shirt and scratched his stomach. Near the corner of the house, he saw a torn egg-box and a pile of clean chicken bones.

Delivery (1) Lieferung (1) Entrega (1) Livraison (1) 配達 (1) 배송 (1) Dostawa (1) Entrega (1) Teslimat (1)

In her house outside the town, Mrs Kennedy writes her diary, paints the views from her windows, and finds no comfort in the world. 町の外にある彼女の家で、ケネディ夫人は彼女の日記を書き、彼女の窓からの景色を描き、そして世界で快適さを見つけません。

Every week Charlie Blue delivers a box of groceries to her door, but she never appears. 毎週チャーリーブルーは彼女のドアに食料品の箱を届けます、しかし彼女は決して現れません。 It is now one year since the accident... 事故から1年になります...

On Thursdays, after the last delivery of the long day, which was to the mad Kennedy woman, Charlie Blue was allowed to keep the van for the night. Donnerstags, nach der letzten Lieferung des langen Tages, die an die verrückte Kennedy-Frau ging, durfte Charlie Blue den Lieferwagen für die Nacht behalten. Le jeudi, après la dernière livraison de la longue journée, qui était destinée à la folle Kennedy, Charlie Blue était autorisé à garder la camionnette pour la nuit. 木曜日に、狂ったケネディの女性に向けられた長い一日の最後の配達の後、チャーリーブルーはその夜のためにバンを保つことを許されました。 He could drive home to his mother, proud behind the wheel of the yellow van, waving to any of the boys from his schooldays he might happen to see in their long gardens, playing with their children or cutting their midsummer grass. Er konnte nach Hause zu seiner Mutter fahren, stolz hinter dem Steuer des gelben Lieferwagens, und jedem Jungen aus seiner Schulzeit zuwinken, den er zufällig in ihren langen Gärten sah, wo sie mit ihren Kindern spielten oder ihren Rasen im Hochsommer mähten. Il pouvait rentrer chez sa mère, fier au volant de la camionnette jaune, saluant les garçons de son école qu'il pouvait apercevoir dans leur jardin, jouant avec leurs enfants ou coupant l'herbe au milieu de l'été. 彼は、黄色いバンのハンドルを握り、長い庭で偶然目にするかもしれない男の子に手を振ったり、子供たちと遊んだり、真夏の草を刈ったりして、母親のところまで車で帰ることができました。 The arrangement suited his mother. Diese Regelung kam seiner Mutter entgegen. L'arrangement convient à sa mère. その取り決めは彼の母親に似合っていた. Taki układ odpowiadał jego matce. She would have the dinner ready for him and then, after watching their favourite TV programme Coronation Street together, he would drive her into town to Horan's Hotel for her weekly game of cards. Sie bereitete das Abendessen für ihn vor, und nachdem sie gemeinsam ihre Lieblingssendung Coronation Street gesehen hatten, fuhr er sie in die Stadt zu Horan's Hotel, wo sie ihr wöchentliches Kartenspiel spielte. 彼女は彼のために夕食の準備をし、2 人のお気に入りのテレビ番組であるコロネーション ストリートを一緒に見た後、彼は彼女を町のホランズ ホテルに連れて行き、毎週のカード ゲームを楽しみました。 Tommy Horan also owned the grocery store and she thought he was a great man, a generous man to let her son have the van so that she could get to her game of cards. Tommy Horan, dem auch das Lebensmittelgeschäft gehörte, hielt sie für einen großartigen Mann, der großzügig war und ihrem Sohn den Wagen überließ, damit sie zu ihrem Kartenspiel gehen konnte. Tommy Horan était également propriétaire de l'épicerie et elle pensait que c'était un homme formidable, un homme généreux qui laissait la camionnette à son fils pour qu'elle puisse aller jouer aux cartes. トミー・ホーランも食料品店を所有しており、彼女は彼が偉大な人であり、トランプのゲームに行くことができるように息子にバンを持たせる寛大な人だと思っていました. Charlie said nothing, but knew Tommy Horan to be a bit of a bollocks, selling his tired vegetables and soft tomatoes and eggs that were no longer fresh. Charlie sagte nichts, aber er wusste, dass Tommy Horan ein ziemlicher Blödmann war, der sein müdes Gemüse, seine weichen Tomaten und seine nicht mehr frischen Eier verkaufte. Charlie n'a rien dit, mais il savait que Tommy Horan était un peu con, qu'il vendait ses légumes fatigués, ses tomates molles et ses œufs qui n'étaient plus frais. チャーリーは何も言わなかったが、トミー・ホーランが疲れた野菜や柔らかくなったトマトや新鮮ではなくなった卵を売っている、ちょっとした馬鹿であることを知っていた. He said nothing because his mother could become as nasty as her twelve-year-old dog, which she allowed to sit on her knees while she fed it with the better bits of meat from her dinner plate. Er sagte nichts, denn seine Mutter konnte so böse werden wie ihr zwölfjähriger Hund, den sie auf ihren Knien sitzen ließ, während sie ihn mit den besten Fleischstücken von ihrem Teller fütterte. Il ne dit rien, car sa mère peut devenir aussi méchante que son chien de douze ans, qu'elle laisse s'asseoir sur ses genoux pendant qu'elle le nourrit avec les meilleurs morceaux de viande de son assiette. 彼の母親は 12 歳の犬のように厄介になる可能性があるため、彼は何も言わなかった。

There was a light shower of rain as Charlie was driving to Mrs Kennedy's. Une légère averse s'est abattue sur Charlie alors qu'il se rendait chez Mme Kennedy. The sun appeared strongly again from behind the clouds, the road shone blackly, and the smells of fresh-cut grass and warm earth rose from the fields and came in through the open window of the van. Die Sonne kam wieder kräftig hinter den Wolken hervor, die Straße glänzte schwarz, und der Geruch von frisch gemähtem Gras und warmer Erde stieg von den Feldern auf und drang durch das offene Fenster des Wagens herein. With one hand, Charlie took out a cigarette from a packet and lit it with his Horan's Hotel cigarette lighter. Mit einer Hand nahm Charlie eine Zigarette aus einer Schachtel und zündete sie mit seinem Horan's Hotel Feuerzeug an. He felt lucky. Il s'est senti chanceux. Czuł się szczęśliwy. Lucky to have his driver's licence, lucky to have his mother still alive, lucky to be working for Tommy Horan, even if he was an old bollocks. Er hatte Glück, seinen Führerschein zu besitzen, Glück, dass seine Mutter noch lebte, Glück, dass er für Tommy Horan arbeitete, auch wenn er ein alter Sack war. Chanceux d'avoir son permis de conduire, chanceux d'avoir sa mère encore en vie, chanceux de travailler pour Tommy Horan, même si c'était un vieux con.

August 20

A month already. A day just as lovely as that day, the clouds low over the hills. Light seed balls blowing across the land like a first snow. Leichte Samenbälle, die wie der erste Schnee über das Land wehen. And I hate this beauty because Bobby cannot see it. I paint it but I hate it. With their sharp wings, the birds cut open the sky and I am delighted to see it bleed. Mit ihren scharfen Flügeln schneiden die Vögel den Himmel auf und ich freue mich, ihn bluten zu sehen. De leurs ailes acérées, les oiseaux découpent le ciel et je me réjouis de le voir saigner. Swoimi ostrymi skrzydłami ptaki rozcinają niebo, a ja z przyjemnością patrzę, jak krwawi. From my window, I can see the gate and the red wallflowers, staining the stones with their blood. Von meinem Fenster aus kann ich das Tor und die roten Mauerblumen sehen, die die Steine mit ihrem Blut beflecken. Z mojego okna widzę bramę i czerwone kwiaty na murze, plamiące kamienie swoją krwią. At night, the screams of hunted animals comfort me. Nachts trösten mich die Schreie der gejagten Tiere. I am not the only one in pain. In the morning, I cannot bear to dress, and prefer to wear only shadows. Morgens kann ich es nicht ertragen, mich anzuziehen, und ziehe es vor, nur Schatten zu tragen. Le matin, je ne supporte pas de m'habiller et je préfère ne porter que des ombres. I go to each of my fifteen windows and decide which view to paint today. I might eat, if my body lets me, and then I move to my chosen window and start to paint. Vielleicht esse ich etwas, wenn mein Körper es zulässt, und dann gehe ich an das Fenster meiner Wahl und beginne zu malen.

Charlie drove carefully around the last bend before the Kennedy house. Charlie fuhr vorsichtig um die letzte Kurve vor dem Kennedy-Haus. It was a year to the day, he realized, since poor old Foley lost control of his tractor on this very bend and killed Mrs Kennedy's young son. Es war auf den Tag genau ein Jahr her, dass der arme alte Foley in genau dieser Kurve die Kontrolle über seinen Traktor verloren und den kleinen Sohn von Frau Kennedy getötet hatte. Cela fait un an jour pour jour, réalise-t-il, que le pauvre vieux Foley a perdu le contrôle de son tracteur dans ce même virage et a tué le jeune fils de Mme Kennedy. Bobby was his name, only four or five years of age. He and his mother were planting flowers at the foot of the big stone pillars either side of the gate, when around the corner came Foley, shouting about the brakes. Er und seine Mutter pflanzten gerade Blumen am Fuße der großen Steinsäulen zu beiden Seiten des Tores, als Foley um die Ecke kam und nach den Bremsen rief. The front of the tractor was already too close to the pillar on the left, throwing up grass and earth into the sky. Die Vorderseite des Traktors war bereits zu nahe am linken Pfeiler und schleuderte Gras und Erde in den Himmel. Mikey Tuohy, who saw the whole thing from his field above the road, told the police in detail what happened. Mikey Tuohy, der das Ganze von seinem Feld oberhalb der Straße aus beobachtete, schilderte der Polizei detailliert, was passiert war. His story earned him free beer in the pub for a long time afterwards. Seine Geschichte brachte ihm noch lange Zeit danach Freibier in der Kneipe ein. He said the screams of the mother nearly stopped his heart. Er sagte, die Schreie der Mutter hätten sein Herz fast zum Stillstand gebracht. She picked up the boy's body before Tuohy could get there, and she ran all the way up the long driveway to the big house, screaming the whole time as the boy's head dropped lifelessly against her arm and shoulder. Sie hob die Leiche des Jungen auf, bevor Tuohy sie erreichen konnte, und rannte die lange Auffahrt zum großen Haus hinauf, wobei sie die ganze Zeit schrie, als der Kopf des Jungen leblos gegen ihren Arm und ihre Schulter fiel. Poor old Foley sat on the grass and put his head in his hands and didn't even recognize Tuohy when he reached him. Tuohy said Foley shouldn't have been allowed on the road, not even on a bike, because the old boy was half-blind. Tuohy sagte, Foley hätte nicht auf die Straße gelassen werden dürfen, nicht einmal auf ein Fahrrad, weil der alte Knabe halbblind war.

September 3

Horan's got somebody new to deliver the groceries. Horan hat jemand Neues, der die Lebensmittel ausliefert. I recognized him: Charles Cullen. Ich habe ihn erkannt: Charles Cullen. He knocked and stood at the door and stared out for a long time, out beyond the fields. Er klopfte an, stand an der Tür und starrte lange hinaus, über die Felder hinaus. At what, I don't know. Woran, weiß ich nicht. Na co, nie wiem. He stretched his arms out wide like Christ on the cross, to take the whole world to his heart, perhaps. Er streckte seine Arme weit aus wie Christus am Kreuz, um vielleicht die ganze Welt in sein Herz zu schließen. Then he yawned and knocked again. Dann gähnte er und klopfte erneut. He lifted his T-shirt and scratched his stomach. Er hob sein T-Shirt an und kratzte sich am Bauch. With his toe he pushed the box nearer the wall, and left slowly, looking back occasionally at the door. Mit dem Zeh schob er die Kiste näher an die Wand und ging langsam hinaus, wobei er gelegentlich zur Tür zurückblickte. While I was emptying the box afterwards I discovered a box of chocolates I hadn't asked for. Als ich die Schachtel danach ausräumte, entdeckte ich eine Schachtel mit Pralinen, um die ich nicht gebeten hatte. I must remember not to pay for that. Ich muss daran denken, nicht dafür zu bezahlen.

Now, at the end of summer, the land is bled dry and colours are slowly returning to brown. Jetzt, am Ende des Sommers, ist das Land ausgeblutet und die Farben werden langsam wieder braun. The cooler air moves against my skin like long grass. When the night enters the house, I look for Bobby. Wenn die Nacht ins Haus kommt, suche ich nach Bobby. I want to run a bath and pour warm water over his small, smooth back. Ich möchte ein Bad einlassen und warmes Wasser über seinen kleinen, glatten Rücken gießen. J'ai envie de faire couler un bain et de verser de l'eau chaude sur son petit dos lisse. I want to turn back his soft sheet and lift him into bed and bring the edge of the sheet to his chin. Ich möchte sein weiches Laken zurückschlagen, ihn ins Bett heben und den Rand des Lakens an sein Kinn führen. J'ai envie de retourner son drap doux, de le soulever dans le lit et d'amener le bord du drap jusqu'à son menton. I want to kiss his eyelids as he sleeps. Instead, the darkness tears at my own. Stattdessen zerrt die Dunkelheit an mir selbst. Au lieu de cela, les ténèbres déchirent les miens.

Once, last autumn, as darkness was falling, Charlie saw an owl standing on the right-pillar of Mrs Kennedy's gate. Einmal, im letzten Herbst, als es dunkel wurde, sah Charlie eine Eule auf dem rechten Pfeiler von Mrs. Kennedys Tor stehen. It didn't move as Charlie edged the van past the ruined left pillar and wall, and then past the gate still on its side since the accident. Er bewegte sich nicht, als Charlie den Wagen an dem zerstörten linken Pfeiler und der Mauer und dann an dem Tor vorbeifuhr, das seit dem Unfall auf der Seite lag. At first, he thought it was a shadow. He had stopped by the pillar and quietly rolled down the window, when the top of the fat, dark shape turned towards him. Er hatte an der Säule angehalten und leise das Fenster heruntergekurbelt, als sich die Spitze der dicken, dunklen Gestalt zu ihm drehte. From the centre of two wide circles two eyes stared evenly at him, daring him to move, and then with two or three movements of its surprisingly wide wings it slowly, coldly, flew off low over the field towards the trees. Aus der Mitte von zwei weiten Kreisen starrten ihn zwei Augen gleichmäßig an und forderten ihn auf, sich zu bewegen, und dann flog es mit zwei oder drei Bewegungen seiner erstaunlich weiten Flügel langsam und kalt über das Feld in Richtung der Bäume davon. Charlie remembered feeling uncomfortable, judged in some way. Charlie erinnerte sich daran, dass er sich unwohl fühlte, dass er irgendwie beurteilt wurde.

October 9

Charles still brings the groceries. For the same reason, I both hate and love him being at my door each week. Z tego samego powodu jednocześnie nienawidzę i kocham jego cotygodniowe wizyty pod moimi drzwiami. He reminds me of a better life. I so clearly remember Charles in my class, tall and clumsy at his desk. I had to let him stand in the end. Am Ende musste ich ihn stehen lassen. He was freer that way. Auf diese Weise war er freier. And the day I decided, he had a gift, it comes back so clearly. Und an dem Tag, an dem ich beschloss, dass er eine Gabe hatte, kam das so deutlich zurück. (I hate the way I can remember every detail of my life before Bobby and Bobby's death!) (Ich hasse es, dass ich mich an jedes Detail meines Lebens vor Bobbys und Bobbys Tod erinnern kann!) He brought his finished painting up to my desk and at first, I was disappointed. Er brachte mir sein fertiges Gemälde an den Schreibtisch und ich war zunächst enttäuscht. 'A Beach in Summer' it was called, but everything in Charles's painting was a different shade of blue, not just the sea: blue sand, blue hills, blue boat, and what I thought was a blue sun. Ein Strand im Sommer" hieß es, aber alles auf Charles' Gemälde hatte einen anderen Blauton, nicht nur das Meer: blauer Sand, blaue Hügel, ein blaues Boot und etwas, das ich für eine blaue Sonne hielt. I asked Charles why he hadn't used other colours, and he said in that frightened way he had, 'Well, Miss, it's a beach at night-time, you see.' Ich fragte Charles, warum er keine anderen Farben verwendet hatte, und er sagte in seiner ängstlichen Art: "Nun, Miss, es ist ein nächtlicher Strand, wissen Sie". Charlie Blue they called him after that. Charlie Blue nannten sie ihn danach. Maybe he still paints. I hope so.

When the police arrived, Mrs Kennedy wouldn't let them into the house, Tuohy said. Nor the priest either. In the end, the police had to break a window and get in that way. They found her upstairs washing the child in the bath. The bloodstained water went everywhere, over the walls and the mirror, wetting the priest and the doctor as they forced the dead boy out of her arms. Das blutige Wasser lief überall hin, über die Wände und den Spiegel, benetzte den Priester und den Arzt, als sie den toten Jungen aus ihren Armen zogen. Dr Murphy phoned his wife, who came over and stayed in the house. Mrs Kennedy didn't come out of the bathroom until the next morning. She came downstairs still covered in blood and told Mrs Murphy to kindly leave her house. Sie kam die Treppe hinunter, noch immer blutverschmiert, und forderte Mrs. Murphy auf, ihr Haus zu verlassen. Hasn't been seen outside her house and garden since the child was buried. Seit der Beerdigung des Kindes wurde sie nicht mehr außerhalb ihres Hauses und ihres Gartens gesehen. From the high field Tuohy says he sometimes sees her sitting all day at one of her windows. Vom hohen Feld aus, sagt Tuohy, sieht er sie manchmal den ganzen Tag an einem ihrer Fenster sitzen. Or walking naked to the woodpile or throwing bits of food out for her cats. Oder sie geht nackt zum Holzstapel oder wirft Futterstücke für ihre Katzen aus. As Charlie drove the van up the driveway, he looked around for her, as he always did. He threw the end of his cigarette out of the window, thinking to himself that he had only two cigarettes left and that the old bollocks wouldn't be paying him until tomorrow evening. Er warf das Ende seiner Zigarette aus dem Fenster und dachte daran, dass er nur noch zwei Zigaretten hatte und dass der alte Sack ihn erst morgen Abend bezahlen würde. He'd better save them. Er sollte sie besser retten. Lepiej niech ich uratuje. He looked up at the high field behind Mrs Kennedy's and guessed that Tuohy was probably spending a lot more time up there than he needed to. Er blickte auf das hohe Feld hinter Mrs. Kennedys Haus und vermutete, dass Tuohy wahrscheinlich viel mehr Zeit dort oben verbrachte als nötig.

December 25

I found a Christmas cake I hadn't ordered in the box of groceries yesterday.

Sometimes a man comes to the gate and stands there, staring up at the house. Who is he? I wonder. He was there last week and again today.

I feel Bobby's presence strongly today. I fetched the Christmas tree from the cellar and put it in the front room, with coloured lights and pretty glass balls on it. I write in its red and blue and green light. Ich schreibe in seinem roten, blauen und grünen Licht. I have wrapped his favourite toys and placed them under the tree. Ich habe seine Lieblingsspielzeuge eingepackt und unter den Baum gelegt. I close my eyes and he is there, lying on the carpet by the tree, opening his presents, turning his blond head around to smile up at me, not minding a bit that they're the same presents as last year. Ich schließe die Augen, und da liegt er auf dem Teppich neben dem Baum, öffnet seine Geschenke, dreht seinen blonden Kopf herum und lächelt mich an, ohne sich daran zu stören, dass es die gleichen Geschenke sind wie im letzten Jahr. I drink my wine and eat a piece of Christmas cake. Too rich for you, Bobby, too rich. Zu reich für dich, Bobby, zu reich.

Charlie couldn't imagine his former art teacher naked. Charlie konnte sich seinen ehemaligen Kunstlehrer nicht nackt vorstellen. Every other woman in town had spent time naked in his dreams, even Mrs Simpson in the post office. Jede andere Frau in der Stadt hatte in seinen Träumen Zeit nackt verbracht, sogar Mrs. Simpson im Postamt. Mrs Kennedy was older than her but not by a million years, she could only be forty or so, and she had had a good shape back then during his time at school, even if it was hidden by long dresses and colourful baggy jackets. Mrs. Kennedy war älter als sie, aber nicht um eine Million Jahre, sie konnte erst um die vierzig sein, und sie hatte damals während seiner Schulzeit eine gute Figur gehabt, auch wenn sie durch lange Kleider und bunte Schlabberjacken verdeckt war. He had liked her. She hadn't laughed at him for being stupid. She had put up a painting he had done of a beach at nighttime, right up beside the board where everybody could see it. Sie hatte ein Gemälde, das er von einem nächtlichen Strand gemalt hatte, direkt neben der Tafel aufgehängt, wo es jeder sehen konnte. That was good. It was worth being called Charlie Blue for that. Dafür war es wert, Charlie Blue genannt zu werden.

February 18

This week Charlie hid a couple of oranges in the box. I love him for these small presents, the only kisses I receive.

Today the stranger walked up the driveway to the door. I saw him clearly through the glass, tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed. Serious. He just stood there for a long time, unmoving. One of the cats scratched at the kitchen window and I looked away for a moment. When I looked back, he was gone.

Snow fell again today but a hard sun drove it into the hungry grass. Heute ist wieder Schnee gefallen, aber eine starke Sonne hat ihn in das hungrige Gras getrieben.

Charlie felt sorry for the thin grey mother cat. Charlie hatte Mitleid mit der dünnen grauen Katzenmutter. Charlie est désolé pour la mère chat grise et maigre. She came up to him as he pulled back the side door of the van. Sie kam auf ihn zu, als er die Seitentür des Wagens zurückzog. Elle s'est approchée de lui alors qu'il reculait la porte latérale de la camionnette. He reached down to scratch her head and she replied by rubbing her whole body against the leg of his jeans. Er griff nach unten, um ihren Kopf zu kratzen, und sie antwortete, indem sie ihren ganzen Körper am Bein seiner Jeans rieb. Il s'est penché pour lui gratter la tête et elle a répondu en frottant tout son corps contre la jambe de son jean. It's not much of a life for you, Charlie said, not like you used to have, anyway. Das ist kein schönes Leben für dich, sagte Charlie, jedenfalls nicht so, wie du es früher hattest. Ce n'est pas vraiment une vie pour toi, a dit Charlie, pas comme tu avais l'habitude d'avoir, en tout cas.

He was halfway to the front door when he saw last week's box exactly where he had left it. Er war auf halbem Weg zur Haustür, als er den Karton von letzter Woche genau dort sah, wo er ihn stehen gelassen hatte. Il était à mi-chemin de la porte d'entrée lorsqu'il a vu la boîte de la semaine dernière exactement là où il l'avait laissée. A busy line of black ants led from the box to a hole in the front wall of the house. Eine geschäftige Reihe schwarzer Ameisen führte von der Kiste zu einem Loch in der Vorderwand des Hauses. Confused, he walked up and down for a while, looking at the front door and windows. Verwirrt ging er eine Weile auf und ab und betrachtete die Eingangstür und die Fenster. He put the box he was carrying back into the van, lifted his T-shirt and scratched his stomach. Er legte die Kiste, die er trug, zurück in den Wagen, hob sein T-Shirt an und kratzte sich am Bauch. Near the corner of the house, he saw a torn egg-box and a pile of clean chicken bones. In der Nähe der Häuserecke sah er einen zerrissenen Eierkarton und einen Haufen sauberer Hühnerknochen.