Rats vs Pigeons (3) Ratos vs Pombos (3)

**Ethan:** I have.

**Molly:** Alright, it's time for our third round, the surprising [background noise] Molly: Tudo bem, é hora da nossa terceira rodada, o surpreendente [ruído de fundo]

**Announcer:** Sneak Attack.

**Molly:** Our sneak attack today is, a haiku for you. Molly: Nosso ataque furtivo hoje é um haicai para você. We want you to write two haikus today, write a haiku about how great your side is and another one about how not awesome the other side is. Just to refresh what a haiku is, it's a three-line poem, five syllables in the first line, seven syllables in the second line, and five syllables again in that third line. Tom and Elyssa, does that make sense?

**Tom:** Yes.

**Elyssa:** Yes, but I need more than a few.

**Molly:** While you work let's listen to some soothing hold music. Molly: Enquanto você trabalha, vamos ouvir uma música relaxante.

**Singer:** Rats love trash, what a tasty meal Cantora: Ratos adoram lixo, que refeição gostosa

their twitchy tails make people squeal. suas caudas trêmulas fazem as pessoas gritarem.

Sewer life suits those ratties well. A vida no esgoto combina bem com esses ratos.

Homing pigeons find their way, Os pombos-correio encontram seu caminho,

leave them alone they'll coo all day, deixe-os sozinhos, eles arrulharão o dia todo,

swoop and poop, the smarty's of the sky.

**Molly:** Elyssa, you're up, let's hear team rat's poetic side shine.

**Elyssa:** Okay, I'll start with rats, because rats are number one, so they should go first.

Rats love us humans,

they just want to be friends.

They poop where they should. Eles fazem cocô onde deveriam.

Okay, now my haiku about pigeons.

Pigeons peck your eye, Pombos bicam seu olho,

diseased poop falls from the sky.

Tom loves pigeons: Why?

**Molly:** Love some punctuation and a healthy dose of poop. Tom —

**Elyssa:** Punctuation is free in a haiku, you can use as much as you want.

(laughter)

**Tom:** Really, Yes, if you say the punctuation out loud, does that count against your syllables? That's what I don't know.

**Elyssa:** I don't know, it's a art. We can't question it.

**Molly:** It's up to our judge. Well, Tom, it's time for team pigeons to swoop in and switch things up. Let's hear some pigeon poetics.

**Tom:**

Away you fur beast Fora sua besta de pele

Take your disease underground.

No one wants you here. Ninguém quer você aqui.

I got very into that. Eu me interessei muito por isso. Now my pro pigeon prose, think of this, perhaps we can put the music underneath the instrumental from feed the birds from Mary Poppins, feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Here, you have that playing underneath maybe.

Fly away you bird.

I know you'll come back safely.

Misunderstood dove. Pomba incompreendida.

**Molly:** Wow, four beautiful moving haikus. Think about which ones really wowed you today, Ethan. Give the team that won you over a point, but don't tell us which one is getting it.

**Ethan:** Yep.

**Molly:** Was it a tough decision?

**Ethan:** Very.

**Molly:** This is a very, very close debate today.

**Ethan:** Definitely.

**Molly:** It's time for the last round.

**Announcer:** The Final Six.

**Molly:** Tom, you are up. Let's hear your last six words.

**Tom:** Rats spread plague, pigeons save lives.

**Molly:** Short and to the point. Elyssa, your turn. You've got six words to make a final impression on Ethan. Let's hear them.

**Elyssa:** I'm counting on my fingers as I go. Rat brains are bigger, flying: overrated. Cérebros de ratos são maiores, voadores: superestimados.

**Molly:** Food for thought. We've taken a wild journey through the sewers and into the skies. Both teams have put up an impressive fight, time to award your final point. Ethan, have you decided which team's Final Six won you over? Don't tell us who it is, but have you awarded the point?

**Ethan:** Yes.

**Molly:** Excellent. Now tally up the points, because it's time to crown one of these animals, the Smash Boom Best. Ethan, are you ready? Have you tallied?

**Ethan:** Almost,

**Elyssa:** it's a stressful moment.

**Ethan:** I'm just building up the suspense.

**Elyssa:** My whole year is riding on this. Just know that.

**Molly:** No pressure.

**Elyssa:** No pressure. Don't worry.

**Tom:** All the pigeons are watching. That's fine.

**Molly:** Ethan, tell us today's winner is--

**Ethan:** Team rat by one point.

**Molly:** It was close, a squeaker if you will. Molly: Foi perto, um chiado se você quiser. Ethan, tell us, what's one thing that you loved about today's debate.

**Ethan:** I loved and I hated how close it was. When I was tallying it up and stuff. Putting team rat on my little clipboard over here, and team pigeon and putting all the things underneath it, they seemed so similar in a way, because of course, I've heard the expression before pigeons are just rats with wings. It was so hard to decide, but I just felt team rat, it had the cuteness and the strength and team pigeon, you showed its strength, but that's all I've found from team pigeon.

**Elyssa:** I just want to say, Tom, rats off to you. I was surprised at how many things pigeons and rats actually had in common. I think that's what made this so close.

**Tom:** I think that's the thing to remember. I go back to the point I made about pigeons in the opening round is that I hope that everyone listening, if you live in a city, perhaps, and you see a lot of pigeons or maybe you see rats every now and then, and they gross you out, or just the idea of them grosses you out, the truth is the only reason either of these animals gross you out is because they're actually just good at being around us.

It's really our fault that we litter. It's our fault that we drop food. It's our fault that we build buildings that look like rocky cliffs to pigeons. You really need to think long and hard about how much we're going to hate animals that are around us a lot, because we are the reason they're around us a lot. I hope that the listeners really got that about all of those animals and all the other animals out there that you think are real pests.

**Molly:** This has been an excellent debate battle today. Ethan crowned rats the smash boom best, but who do you think won?

**Ethan:** Head to smashboom.org and cast your vote.

**Molly:** __Smash Boom Best__ is brought to you by Brains On and American Public Media.

Elyssa: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rosie DuPont, Sanden Totten, Marc Sanchez, and Jennifer Lai.

**Tom:** We had engineering help from Eric Romani and Veronica Rodriguez.

**Elyssa:** We had production help from me, Elyssa Dudley, Kristina Lopez, and Menaka Wilhelm.

**Molly:** Anna Weggel is the voice of our whole music. Our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. We want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Coffman, and Gus. Tom, is there anyone you want to give a shout out to today?

**Tom:** All the people who love pigeons.

**Molly:** How about you Elyssa? Any special shout outs?

**Elyssa:** I really. want to thank Dr. Cindy Fast for talking to me about the awesome rats that work for APOPO. If you go to apopo.org, you can check out pictures of the adorable rats, including Magawa, and you can even donate to adopt a rat and support them as they do their work, which does not mean, to my disappointment, a rat comes and lives in your home.

**Molly:** Do you want to give any special thanks today, Ethan?

**Ethan:** I want to give thanks for everyone here for having me. I want to give thanks to the Boy Scouts of America for teaching me how debate works.

**Molly:** Awesome. Before we go, let's hear who Rihanna thinks would win in her Villains versus Heroes debate.

**Rihanna:** I think heroes would win because heroes always save the day. Bye, __Smash Boom Best__. I love you.

**Molly:** Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag-out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week.

**All:** Bye!

(music)

**Tom:** Pigeon. Pigeon. Pigeon. Sorry.