Friends S03E25 1
So your first sexual experience was with a woman? I was 15. It was my best friend, Ruth. And we got drunk on that hard cider. And then suddenly, we were making out. Tell it again. Seriously. Is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex? Yeah, sure. Earlier she was talking about geography. She was listing the countries she's done it in. I think we all learned something. Hey, you guys. Look what I found! Look at this. That's my mom's writing. Look. "Me and Frank and Phoebe, graduation, 1965." - Do you know what that means? - That you're actually 50? That's not me, Phoebe. That's her pal Phoebe. According to her high-school yearbook, they were BFF. - Best Friends Forever. - That's great! I know! She probably has all kinds of stories about my parents. And she might even know where my dad is. I looked her up. She lives by the beach. Maybe this weekend we can go to the beach. Yeah, we can! - Shoot, I can't go. I have to work. - That's too bad. Big fat bummer. So, great! Tomorrow we're gonna drive out to Montauk. Hey, Bonnie had sex there! The One At the Beach Joey will be right down. He's looking for his mask. - A swim mask? - No, his gorilla mask. He wears it in the ocean to scare off the fish. Would you look at them? I'm never gonna find a boyfriend again. I'm gonna die an old maid. You're not gonna die an old maid. Maybe an old spinster cook. - Thanks. - Besides, worse comes to worse... ...I'll be your boyfriend. Yeah, right. Why is that so funny? You made a joke, right? So I laughed. A little too hard. What am I, not boyfriend material? No. You're Chandler. You know. Chandler! Okay, so we've established my name and hit me. But theoretically, say we weren't friends. Say it's a blind date. I show up at your door, and I'm, like, "Hey, nice to meet you." I'd probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice. Hey. Good! You bought food. No, just my luggage. I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents... ...then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house. What about that bike messenger you hit? I wasn't talking about his karma. Hey, check out the hat! Wait a minute, I know that hat. I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me. I can't have children! Seriously, where did you get the hat? Ross gave it to me. - I think she looks good. - Thank you. Did he buy it for you... ...or win it for you? Excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends... ...I'm here to tell you that hats are back. And this time, they've ganged up and formed one giant superhat. Go, go, go! Now everybody wants to be under the hat! What's with all this sand? Bob said there might be flood damage. Either that, or he has a really big cat. You know what this reminds me of? Why couldn't I be your boyfriend? Are you still on that? - Would you let it go already? - Thank you, Joey. But you'd go out with me, right? No. It's the same as with Chandler. We're friends. Let's say that we were the last two guys on the planet... ...and you had a gun to your head. Which one would you pick? Which one of you has the gun to my head? Well, yes. It's kind of an unusual house. It has three beautiful bedrooms and no baths. But, you know, the ocean is right there. Knock, knock, knock. Hang on a second. Come in, come in. So think about it and call me back. - Are you Phoebe Abbott? - Yes. Surprise, Phoebe Abbott! I'm your best friend's daughter! You're Irwin's daughter? No. I mean your old best friend. Here. - Lily? From high school? Remember? - Oh, God, Lily. Yes. Of course I remember Lily. - Then you must be... - Phoebe, Phoebe. She named me after you, I guess. Wow. Well. Look, there's Frank! Yeah! Yes! Yes, yes! That's my dad. That's Frank! I'm sorry I'm getting all flingy. Take it easy. If you want, there's cookies. - Or sangria! I could make sangria! - No, no! Sorry. Cookies are good, thanks. Anyway, I've been looking for my father. - Have you heard from him or seen him? - No, I'm sorry. I guess I lost track of everybody after high school. Well, so tell me everything about my parents. Everything. Well, you know, we were always together. - The other kids had a nickname for us. - What was it? The Three Losers. Poor Lily. I heard about what happened. That must have been just terrible for you... ...losing your mother that way. Yeah, no, it was great.
