The Insane Way I Cheated On A College Test
- My freshman year of college, I cheated on a final,
and this is that story.
Okay, before we start, cheating might be a strong word.
Actually, maybe it's not.
I'll leave that up to all of you.
Okay, here we go.
So I was home on a little break from school.
Nothing holiday related, just a weekend at my parents house.
It was Sunday and I was leaving that night
to fly back to school.
My point being school and home were not close to each other.
If I'm being honest, it's a little tough
to go to school in a place that's far from home.
Especially if you're someone like me
who gets homesick from time to time.
Anyways, it was end of April, Spring semester
was winding down a.k.a finals season.
The pressure was on.
I'm gonna be bold here,
I'd classify myself as in intelligent person.
Now when I say that, would I call myself a genius?
I don't think I would.
Would I call myself dumb?
I don't think I would.
And I like school, I like learning
so I'm not really sure what came over me
on that faithful day.
Before I knew it, I was heading back
to school on that Sunday night.
I had a final the very next morning, Monday morning.
For whatever reason, before I even left my parents house,
I thought to myself, I'm not taking that test tomorrow.
I'm gonna email my teacher now,
tell him my flight got canceled
and I could take it later that week.
My thought was, I could buy myself a couple extra days
and get ready for the test in my own time.
It was a slam dunk.
I guarantee a surefire plan.
Maybe I was a genius.
I sent the email, got on to my very not canceled flight,
and went back to school.
I'm feeling good, real slick.
Until I get back to my dorm.
There's a reply to my email.
"Hi Brigid."
Perfectly acceptable greeting.
"No problem, sorry to hear about your flight.
"Just bring me proof of your new flight,
"and we'll be all good."
(clock ticking)
How did this happen?
This was supposed to be an easy plan.
Okay, okay, okay, just calm down.
I have no choice but to own up to my mistakes
and face the situation that I've created.
Or...
Or, and hear me out, I look up
I don't know, a template for a plane ticket,
create a fake boarding pass to present to my professor.
I was in too deep.
I couldn't confess.
This became Operation Fake Ticket.
We arrange a new time for me to take the final,
that's a few days away.
I needed to craft something that was believable.
Actually, more than believable, authentic.
He's a smart guy, he's a college professor.
He could probably look up if a flight was real.
So I just needed to make it seem like I was on that flight.
I was starting to feel like I was a character on Lost.
Somehow, after days of studying, and terrifying nights
of dreams of expulsion, I completed both tasks.
Not only was I ready for my final,
I was ready for the greatest trick I'd ever pull.
It was the day of the test.
I walk into his classroom,
my heart is pounding out of my chest.
There he is.
I'm trying to figure out what he's thinking.
So far, he seems oddly calm.
I think I'm ready for this test,
and oh here's that airline information you asked for.
I hand over the goods, he looks them over briefly
and sets them down.
Internally I'm like, and that's how it's done baby,
we just pulled this off.
"Okay, cool!
"So while you take the test,"
"I'll just give the airline a call
"to make sure you were on the flight."
Excuse me?
I'm surprised I didn't just burst into flames
right then and there.
Yeah, no, of course, that sounds good.
I'm trying to play it cool.
He hands over the test, I take a seat
at the desk in his classroom, my life, it was over.
This is it.
This is how it ends.
He leaves the room, I take the test.
Oddly enough, he never returns.
I leave my finished test on his desk,
leave the classroom and never looked back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is
to focus on a test when your teacher
is trying to catch you in a lie?
I could feel my brain melting.
I sprung back to my dorm, collect all my friends,
explain the new development in the saga.
"I feel like you can't just call an airline
"and get that information."
Says one of smart friends.
Yeah, yeah that makes sense.
For whatever reason, I had my friend call
instead of me and ask the airline
if my name came up in a flight manifest.
They wouldn't give the information out.
Delightful.
Nice try buddy.
I did it, there's no way he could call me out
on my fake plane ticket now.
And guess what?
A week or so later, I found out I got an A on that test.
This wasn't all for nothing.
Heads up, the craziest part of this story
hasn't even happened yet.
Freshman year ends, I end up transferring to another school,
it was closer to home and just a little more my speed.
One day, I'm sitting on campus waiting for a class to start
and suddenly, there's an odd shift in the air.
You know when you can just feel
when something is about to happen?
"Brigid, right?"
I hear a voice ask.
I look up, my heart stops.
It's my fucking teacher.
The guy that I duped.
He's staring at me.
Yes, it's me, Brigid.
How are you?
"Good to see you." He says.
Starts to walk away, I swear on my life,
I'm not making this up.
"Nice job with that plane ticket."
What is this?
A goddamn movie?
People don't talk like that,
this doesn't happen in real life.
Apparently this happens in my life.
What was he even doing here?
Why was he at my new school?
I have expected him to do that thing in scary movies
where he crosses a street, a bus drives by and disappears.
Obviously, I go home and look him up immediately.
Turns out, he's an adjunct professor at my new school.
Oddly enough, we never crossed paths again after that.
I think he just wanted to see
how far I would take my lie.
And he got his answer.
I took that lie all the way.
Did I learn my lesson?
Yep.
Would I do it again?
Nope.
Stay in school kids.
(upbeat jazz music)
