Anxious about talking to new people? Listen to 6 Minute English - YouTube
Neil: Hello. This is 6 Minute English
and I'm Neil. Joining me
for our discussion is Georgina.
Georgina: Hello!
Neil: Now, Georgina, you're a chatty,
sociable kind of person, aren't you?
Georgina: Well, yes, I think so.
Neil: But would you go up to a stranger
and strike up a conversation?
Georgina: That might be going too far - if
you don't know them, what are you going
to start talking about?
Neil: A good question. But maybe
you should - because in this programme
we're looking at how talking to strangers
might actually be good for you!
But first, let me talk to you about
today's question. I'd like you to answer
this. To make conversation we need
words - so according to the
Oxford English dictionary,
approximately how many words are
in use in the English language? Is it...
a) 171,146; b) 271,146 or c) 371,146?
Georgina: We use a lot of words
in English, but not 371,000 -
so I'll go for a) 171,146.
Neil: OK. Well, as always I will reveal
the answer later in the programme.
Now, let's continue our conversation
about having conversations
with strangers! Many of us
spend part of every day surrounded by
strangers, whether on our commute to
work, sitting in a park or cafe,
or visiting the supermarket.
Georgina: But we rarely reach out
and talk to them because we fear
it would make us both feel
uncomfortable - or awkward.
And Gillian Sandstrom, social
psychologist from Essex University
in the UK, can explain why. Here she is
speaking on BBC Radio 4's All In The
Mind programme...
Gillian Sandstrom: We kind of
underestimate, we have this negative
voice in our head that's telling us
"I shouldn't have said that, why
did I do that? I said that story better
last time". But the other person doesn't
know any of that and they're probably -
you know, they might be anticipating
that they
won't have a positive conversation and
then they do. And they think, wow,
that person was amazing.
So we walk round with this fear
that the other person isn't going to be
interested in talking to us.
Georgina: Fascinating stuff.
So we have a negative voice in
our head telling us about
all the bad things that might happen.
We basically underestimate ourselves.
Neil: To underestimate means to think
that something is smaller or
less important than it really is.
We worry that what we say won't
be interesting or important enough.
Georgina: Ah, but the other person doesn't
know that. They're also anticipating - or
guessing - the outcome. They're thinking
that if they have a conversation,
it won't go well.
But of course, when strangers do talk
to each other it normally goes well.
Neil: Yes, it's just fear that is stopping
us. But if we get over that fear, and get
chatting, people might actually like us -
and we might make new friends.
Georgina: Another reason why
you should pluck up the courage
to talk to strangers is that
it's good for our health!
Neil: 'Pluck up the courage' - that's a good
phrase, Georgina, meaning
force yourself to do something
that you're scared about and...
research by the University of Chicago
found we may often underestimate
the positive impact of connecting with
others for both our own
and others' wellbeing.
Georgina: And connecting here
means starting or having a good
relationship with someone.
So the research found that, for example,
having a conversation with
a stranger on your way to work may leave
you both feeling happier
than you would think.
Neil: Gillian Sandstrom also spoke
about her research and
the power of talking to strangers
on the You and Yours programme.
Listen out for the word 'connected' -
Gillian Sandstrom: What we've shown
in the research is that it's really good for
your mood. So people are in a better
mood after they reach out and have a
conversation, however minimal,
and the other thing that the research
has shown is that just makes people feel
more connected to each other.
Neil: There you go! Talking to strangers is
good for our mood - and mood means
the way we feel. It's good for
our mental health - and we might
discover people actually like us!
And even if we're an introvert - a person
who prefers to be alone rather than
with other people - experiments
have shown that talking
to others can make us happier.
Georgina: The problem remains, Neil, that
when speaking to someone new,
what do you talk about?
Neil: How about some interesting facts -
like approximately how many
words are in use in the English
language? Which is what
I asked you earlier. Is it?
a) 171,146; b) 271,146 or c) 371,146?
What did you say, Georgina?
Georgina: I said 171,146. Was I right?
Neil: Spot on, Georgina. Well done!
Yes, there are an estimated
171,146 words currently in use in the
English language, according to
the Oxford English Dictionary -
plus many more obsolete words.
Georgina: I shall pick a few of them
and make conversation with
someone on the Tube later,
but not before we recap some of
the vocabulary we've explained.
Neil: Yes - so we highlighted six words,
starting with underestimate
which is to think that
something is smaller or less important
than it really is.
Georgina: Anticipating means guessing
or expecting a certain outcome.
I anticipate this programme
to be 6 minutes long!
Neil: That's a given! Next, we mentioned
the phrase to pluck up the courage,
meaning to force yourself to do
something that you're
scared or nervous about.
Georgina: When you connect with
someone, it means you start or
have a good relationship with someone.
I think we've connected on this
programme, Neil!
Neil: Absolutely, Georgina. And that's put
me in a good mood - mood means
the way we feel.
Georgina: And finally, an introvert is
a person who prefers to spend time
on their own.
Neil: Thanks, Georgina. Well, that's our
conversation over, but you can hear
more from us on our website and
on our app. Goodbye!
Georgina: Bye!
