83- How to Speak English at a Professional Event or a Party.
Lindsay: This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 83: “How to Speak English at a Professional Event or a Party.”
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Gabby: Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, where you'll finally get real, native English conversation with your hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the ‘English Adventurer' and Gabby Wallace, the ‘Language Angel,' from Boston, USA.
In today's episode, you'll hear a handful of phrases that will make you sound interested in the person your speaking with and therefore make you a more interesting English speaker.
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Gabby: Yo Lindsay. What's up?
Lindsay: Yo Gabby.
Gabby: Do people say “Yo” anymore?
Lindsay: No, I don't know.
Gabby:
Not really.
Lindsay:
No.
It's a little bit 90s right?
Gabby:
Little 90s.
Lindsay:
That's okay.
Gabby:
Actually (uh) last night I was driving home from a party and there was this 90s radio station on. It was so great.
Lindsay:
Awesome. The 90s were great, but the 80s were better.
Gabby:
Um.
Lindsay:
Okay we can debate about that.
Gabby:
Yeah.
That'll be a debate topic for later.
Lindsay:
A different topic. Okay.
Gabby:
But actually a lot of our listeners have been asking about music so if I can just real quickly insert some 90s music. If you're curious, look at Alanis Morissette.
Lindsay:
Oh my goodness.
Gabby:
(Um) who else? There was oh, oh. Who's the…?
Lindsay:
Meatloaf.
Gabby:
Yeah.
Meatloaf.
Lindsay:
Yeah.
Gabby:
(Um) who did (like) Hotstepper and Bad Boys?
Lindsay:
Oh, I can't remember.
Gabby:
Well look for those songs. Super popular.
Lindsay:
Fantastic.
Gabby:
Super awesome. Okay.
So anyway, that's not actually the topic of our, of our episode today. We wanted to talk about how to speak English at a professional event or a party because (um) well you guys, you've been asking about this too. (Um), so we have a quote that kind of is related, right?
Lindsay:
Yeah.
Gabby:
(Uh) by Albert Einstein. What's the quote Lindsay?
Lindsay:
All right. So the quote is “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”
Gabby:
Okay.
So what we want to emphasize here is to take the spotlight or the focus off of yourself. Don't worry about “Oh, am I successful?” And “Am I great?” “Are people liking me?”
Lindsay:
Right.
“Did I make a mistake?” Or “Did I say it correctly.” No.
Gabby:
Don't worry about that. Put the spotlight on other people by trying to help them and therefore you will be valuable to other people.
Lindsay:
Right.
And this can be done – today we're talking about how to do this at a party or a professional event. But this can also be done in a presentation as Carl mentioned (um)…
Gabby:
In our Monday episode.
Lindsay:
…earlier this week, the importance of solving a problem for your audience
Gabby :
Right.
Lindsay:
But it can also be done at a party.
Gabby:
Right.
So I was talking with Lindsay, we were talking before we started recording this about (uh) how I went to a party last night and (um) was engaging in conversation (uh) with some, some men at the party and it just felt really awkward. There were some long pauses where I was kind of having to fill in the blanks or ask questions, but the way I did that (um) was to ask questions, (you know), to, to ask, (um) for example, “Are you enjoying the event? Are you enjoying the party?” (Um) (you know), “How are you doing? How is… how are your studies going?” (Um)…
Lindsay:
Right.
“What are you majoring in?” So you were at a college campus, right? So maybe you could ask, “What are you…?” Yeah, “What are you studying?” “Why did you choose to study that?”
Gabby:
Yeah.
Or in this situation (uh) of the party, “Oh, would you like something to drink?” So just figuring out how can you be helpful whether it's something practical like getting the person a drink or something more conversational like listening, asking questions and then listening to the person, (you know), tell you about themselves.
Lindsay:
Yeah.
I think the key – I think this might be a quote from Dale Carnegie, but I'm not sure. The key here to remember is something I always try to keep in mind is that people love to talk about themselves, across cultures.
I think it's probably an international concept, isn't it. It's kind of…
Gabby:
Absolutely.
Lindsay:
….pervades culture. Yeah.
People like to talk about themselves, so just ask them about themselves.
Gabby:
Yeah.
Lindsay:
That'll make you feel less self-conscious and it'll actually make the person think you're extremely interesting. Ironically.
Gabby:
Totally.
It, it's true. I've noticed this as well. So think about questions that you could ask (uh) the person about themselves. You could start off with “How are you?” No, no. “How are you?”
Lindsay:
Right.
Not the “How are you” like I'm fine.
Gabby:
Exactly.
Lindsay:
As we talked about in another episode.
Gabby:
Exactly.
The emphasis here is on “are”, “How are you?”
Lindsay:
Yeah.
Gabby:
Okay and then depending on the person, what you know about them, ask them about their studies, about their work, “How's work? How's school? How's your family?” And, and think of this as being helpful to the other person.
Lindsay:
Yeah.
There are a lot of, there are a lot of questions that you could ask, but always come back to them.
Gabby:
Right.
Or (um) the environment where you are, maybe you don't know the person very well. It's your first time talking, so a more environmentfocused question like “Are you enjoying the event?” Lindsay:
Or “What's it like to go to school here?” Again, you're at a college campus. “What's it like to go to school here? What's it like? What's the atmosphere like? What are the students like?” Gabby:
That's a good one. I should've asked that.
Lindsay:
You should have.
Gabby:
Where were you when I needed you?
Lindsay:
I don't know.
Gabby:
Great. So those are some examples of questions you can use to be helpful to others, to listen to them, to not worry about yourself or your English or your mistakes, but to be of value to the people you're speaking with.
Lindsay:
And if you do that, you'll see your English skills start to go through the roof. Because you'll be speaking. You won't be in the corner biting your nails or sweating…
Gabby:
Exactly.
Lindsay:
…because you're nervous. You'll be getting that experience speaking and that's what you want, is you want to practice.
Gabby:
Yeah.
Lindsay:
Right?
Gabby:
Yeah.
Totally.
Lindsay:
Excellent.
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Lindsay: If you want to put your ears into English more often, be sure to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes on your computer or on your smartphone. Thanks so much for listening and see you next time.