7 Ways to Calm Your Nerves When Meeting New People 7 Wege, um Ihre Nerven zu beruhigen, wenn Sie neue Leute treffen 7 maneras de calmar los nervios al conocer gente nueva 7 façons de calmer votre nervosité lorsque vous rencontrez de nouvelles personnes 7 maneiras de acalmar os nervos ao conhecer novas pessoas Yeni İnsanlarla Tanışırken Sinirlerinizi Sakinleştirmenin 7 Yolu 结识新朋友时平复紧张情绪的 7 种方法 会见新朋友时平复紧张情绪的 7 种方法

- So, there's this fact of life

that I think about pretty often.

Every single one of us, you, me, everyone else,

we are all skeletons wearing meat suits hurtling |||squelettes|||| |||||||moving rapidly |||||||che volano |||||||พุ่งไป somos todos esqueletos com trajes de carne a vomitar

through space on a rocket thousands of miles an hour,

and when you really think about this fact it's humbling |||||||||modest reminder |||||||||umiliante |||||||||принижуюче

but it's also totally rad and it's ||||awesome|| ||||круто|| ||||เจ๋งมาก|| ||||fantastico||

a good reason for why we should

probably wear sunglasses indoors more often. ||sunglasses|inside buildings|| ||occhiali da sole|in casa||

But in addition to all of that it also means

that we shouldn't really feel nervous

when we're meeting new people.

After all, they too are just shambling stacks ||those people||||| ||||||barcollanti|massi ||||||валяючись|кучі Afinal de contas, também eles são apenas montes de lixo

of collagen hurtling through space at ludicrous speeds. |collagene(1)|che sfreccia||||ridicolo| ||พุ่งผ่าน||||ตลกขบขัน| ||||||абсурдних| de colagénio a correr pelo espaço a velocidades ridículas.

Still, a lot of us get that tight feeling in the gut |||||||||||животі

when faced with the prospect of meeting a new person

and there are a lot of deep rooted reasons for this. e há muitas razões profundamente enraizadas para isso.

Maybe you fear being judged, maybe you fear being rejected

or something that I struggle with big time,

maybe you're just afraid that you're gonna have nothing

to say to the other person after you introduce yourself

and shake their hand and things are gonna get awkward. |stringere||||||||imbarazzante

Luckily, there are strategies that you can use

to deal with all of these problems

and today we're gonna go over some of

the ones that don't include ingesting fermented sugar ||||||zucchero fermentato|

or limiting all of your interactions |limitando||||

to two dimensional characters.

Number one.

Detach your sense of self-worth Distacca la tua|||||

from the outcome of the meeting.

Realize that rejection doesn't matter in the long run.

Whether it's someone that you want

to ask out on a date or a potential business contact

or just somebody that you admire,

the way that they respond has no affect on your self-worth.

Now, if the meeting goes poorly you're gonna feel

some embarrassment in the short term, yes.

That is unavoidable.

But once you get over that feeling of embarrassment,

the long term effects are nothing but positive.

That rejection and the survival of

that rejection just is another data point

that proves you can get through

a rocky meeting and come out the other side intact. |||||||||intatto

And adopting this mindset actually makes |adottare||||

you a more attractive person right off the bat é uma pessoa mais atractiva logo à saída do morcego

because when you're not preoccupied with ||||จดจ่อ|

the outcome of the meeting you're gonna act more naturally.

Now, a great way of getting better

at adopting this mindset every time

you go into an interaction is to work

on building a strong internal sense of self confidence.

And that is a topic for another video.

This one actually, but when you know

that you're awesome you're not constantly looking

for external validation to prop up ||validazione||proposta (1)|

your sense of self confidence whether

it comes from people praising you |vient de|||| ||||che lodano|

or people agreeing with your tastes.

When you have that strong core of self confidence, Quando||||||||

you're gonna be much more able to make it

through a situation where there's potential rejection.

Number two.

Remember that the meeting is a two way street

and this means that the person you're meeting

is often just as nervous as you are,

even if you feel that you're on

the wrong side of a power imbalance ||||||squilibrio di potere

such as meeting a famous person or trying

to talk to somebody who you feel is out of your league. |||||||||||categoria

People who are in the limelight, |||||luce dei riflettori |||||จุดสนใจ

people who are constantly showered with compliments,

they often feel like they don't deserve them

or that they're being put on a pedestal |||||||pedestal |||||||un piedistallo |||||||ฐาน

and they don't know how to react well.

And in many cases it's not their social confidence

that has put them in the limelight.

It's something else like their talent

as a writer or as a musician and those

things don't automatically translate

to being confident in social situations.

A lot of celebrities and famous people

have attested to this. |testimoniato||

Many of them have come out saying that they're shy,

that they're uncomfortable around new people

including people like Lady Gaga. ||||Lady Gaga

Number three.

Do your research on the other person, sometimes.

Now, this is not a tip that's going

to apply to spontaneous interactions. |||spontanee|

If you meet somebody at an event, you shake their hand ||||||||stringi||

and then you say one moment while

you go into the bathroom to stalk them on Facebook, ||||||spiare|||

things are probably gonna get a little bit awkward ||||||||imbarazzante

so in those cases probably ignore this one. |||||ignora(1)||

But if you know you're gonna meet somebody beforehand, ||||||||in anticipo

it can be useful to take a few minutes,

glance at their social profiles and try uno sguardo||||profili||

to get a quick indication of what their interests might be.

For example if you were gonna meet Elon Musk |||||||Elon Musk|Elon Musk

you might wanna know the current state

of the Falcon rocket projects and also ||Falcon(1)||||

that he likes bees with top hats. ||||||cappelli a cilindro

Number four.

The next tip is to practice visualization ||||||visualizzazione

which is essentially the practice

of mentally picturing a successful interaction happening ||immaginare||||

before you actually go into it or in

a more general sense visualization

just means picturing success in your mind.

Confucius said it best. Confucio|||

"He who says he can and he who says

"he can't are both usually right."

It comes right back down to

that internal sense of self confidence.

When you are confident that you're going

to win or have a great interaction,

you're much more likely to make that a reality.

And many, many athletes, Olympians, ||||olimpionici

movie stars, famous people of all types

have used this technique to great effect.

I think my favorite example is Jim Carrey |||||||Jim Carrey

who actually wrote himself a fake check

for $10,000,000 that was dated three years |||datato||

in the future and then kept that in his wallet.

- I wrote myself a check for $10,000,000

for acting services rendered and I put |||prestate per||| por serviços de actuação prestados e eu coloco

it in my wallet and I kept it there

and it deteriorated and deteriorated and it stuck ||deteriorò|||||

and just before Thanksgiving 1995 e pouco antes do Dia de Acção de Graças de 1995

I find out that I was gonna make $10,000,000 Descobri que ia ganhar $10.000.000

on I think it was "Dumb and Dumber." |||||||scemo sobre penso que foi "Mudo e Mudo".

- [Oprah] "Dumb and Dumber," yeah. Oprah||||

- Yeah.

- Lots of athletes use this technique as well.

The most famous example probably being Michael Phelps |||||||Phelps

who when he was working with his coach

would go home every single night

and be instructed to watch the videotape ||istruiti||||videocassetta

which wasn't actually a physical videotape

but it was a mental projection of having |||||proiezione mentale||

a perfect race and well, you know how well he did.

Number five.

- Bus number one.

- Remember that you do not look as nervous as you feel

and this is something that I have

to remind myself of every single time that I speak publicly.

When I first started speaking publicly

I was sure that the nervousness I felt, |||||nervosismo||

that shaking in my hands, |tremore|||

that sort of static feeling in my head

was translating to the way that I looked on stage.

But after I got some video footage ||||||riprese video 하지만 영상을 얻은 후 Mas depois de obter algumas filmagens de vídeo

of my first few times speaking,

I realized that that wasn't the case at all.

Maybe my motions were a bit robotic, ||movimenti||||

maybe I looked a bit unpolished, |||||non rifinito

but the way that I felt was

not reflected in the way that I looked.

I looked a lot calmer and when you realize this, ||||più calmo|||||

you're actually gonna feel a lot calmer as well.

Number six.

Take deeper and slower breaths before ||||respiri|

you go into an interaction where you're nervous.

Now, all of us know that our body language

is effected by the way that we're feeling |è influenzato||||||

and by what we're thinking but this too is a two way street.

And by deliberately taking slower breaths,

breathing in more deeply,

these things can actually calm you down

and lower feelings of anxiety.

Similarly changing your posture,

what you do with your hands can literally make

you feel more confident and even choosing

to smile can release chemicals that make you feel happier. ||||sostanze chimiche|||||

So, realize that the brain body connection

is a two way street and you

can deliberately effect it positively in both ways. ||||positivamente|||

Number seven.

Let the other person do most of the talking.

This is a great way to get over

that fear of having nothing to say

which is my biggest struggle when meeting new people,

especially when I'm in a context where

there's not a whole lot that I can go

off of to strike up a conversation

like I'm at a wedding or something

and I often feel like I don't have anything to say.

But what I've learned is that people love

to talk about themselves and their interests,

especially if you've demonstrated

that you're willing to listen and be engaged. ||disponibile|||||

So, if you're worried that you're gonna have nothing

to say let them take the lead.

Listen actively, ask questions and if there

are opportunities for you to contribute, well, you can.

Finally, I wanna share a mantra |||||mantra

that I've tried to live by for a long time.

And interested person is an interesting person.

This applies not only to showing interest

in the other person during a conversation,

but also to the breadth and depth of your own interests. ||||ampiezza||||||

If you spend time learning widely

then you'll be able to speak knowledgeably and passionately ||||||con competenza||

about a lot of different things

and that makes it so much more likely

that you'll make a connection with anyone you meet.

And if you wanna star broadening your base |||||ampliare|| E se quiseres alargar a tua base

of knowledge in areas like nature and science and history,

check out CuriosityStream. ||CuriosityStream

They have over 2400 high quality documentaries |||||documentari

and topics ranging from artificial intelligence

to fungi to the history behind Pompeii and lots lots more. |fungi||||||||| ||||||Pompei||||

And you can stream all of these documentaries

to almost any device you want as

they have apps for iOS, Android, Roku and lots more. ||||iOS||Roku|||

And you can do it without paying a whole lot

since a subscription to CuriosityStream

is just $2.99 per month.

And if you're looking for a place to start,

I'd recommend David Attenborough's "Light On Earth" |||di Attenborough|||

which explores bioluminescence ||bioluminescenza

and you can actually watch it for free

because if you go to the link in

the description down below and use

the code Thomas when you sign up,

you'll get a one month free trial.

Huge thanks as always goes out to CuriosityStream

for sponsoring this episode and being

a supporter of my channel and thank |sostenitore del|||||

you as well for watching.

If you enjoyed this episode maybe consider hittin' |||||||premere il tasto Se gostou deste episódio, talvez considere bater

that Like button and also get subscribed right there

so you don't miss future videos when they come out.

Of course, you can also grab a free copy of

my book on how to earn better grades

right there which might be relevant to you

since back to school is right around the corner.

Otherwise you can find a couple

of more videos on this channel right over here and here.

Thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one.

(gentle music)