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Thomas Frank Study Tips, How to Talk to Someone Who is "Out of Your League"

How to Talk to Someone Who is "Out of Your League"

if you are anything like me you probably

get pretty nervous about the prospect of

going up and talking or introducing

yourself as somebody you admire whether

it's an author you like or a musician or

just somebody who's really

well-respected in your field the

prospect of going up and talking to that

person can seem like you're gonna waste

their time because it seems like they

are in a completely different league

from you but even if you do feel this

way there's probably some rational part

of your brain that knows that if you

could just work up the courage to go and

talk to that person something awesome

might happen even if it's just being

able to talk with somebody you really

admire for a couple of minutes that's

why in this video I want to share our

confidence hack that I use every single

time I'm nervous about going up and

talking to someone this is a simple

mindset change that at least for me can

be implemented right away and works

permanently afterwards but before I tell

you about it I want to first recount a

time before I started using it which I

still regret back when I was in college

there was a conference going on in the

city just south of where my college was

and at that conference an author was

going to be speaking who I really really

admired so I drove down to the

conference I paid for my ticket and I

went to see him speak and afterwards

there were a few people lined up to go

talk to him but the line wasn't super

long so I really had every opportunity

in the world to go and say hi and

introduce myself and have a quick

conversation with him now did I actually

do that well you can probably guess the

answer to that question no I didn't

instead I went into the lobby I

awkwardly hung out for about 15 minutes

and then I left because number one I

completely psyched myself out I thought

that he was in a completely different

league and talking to him would have

been a complete waste of his time and

shooting my confidence down in that way

made me unwilling to talk to anybody

else in the conference so I did get to

see his talk but otherwise I completely

squandered all my opportunities at that

conference and I went home basically

empty-handed now fortunately this story

has a happy ending because the next year

that author actually came back into town

with a couple of his friends Ryan

Nicodemus and Joshua Milburn who you

might know as the minimalists to support

their book to her and I ended up

attending that book tour as well and

that time actually did work up the

courage to go and talk to him along with

those other two guides and they actually

ended up inviting me out for dinner so I

got an entire evening

talk to them and that happened because

on this occasion I actually did use the

hack that I'm about to tell you about

and I like to call it the Netflix rule

this is a really simple rule basically

anytime I'm nervous about going up and

talking to somebody who seems out of my

league or seems really really successful

I think about what they're going to be

doing at the end of the day because no

matter how successful they are no matter

how great the things that they are doing

right now are at the end of the day at

some point they are gonna get tired

they're gonna kick their shoes off and

they're probably gonna sit down to watch

some Netflix it's probably gonna be

Emperor's New Groove I mean I don't

think there's any other real legitimate

choice in the platform right now but

that's kind of a sides the point

everyone no matter how successful no

matter how seemingly untouchable is

human no one is a god everyone farts on

airplanes and hopes no one else will

notice we're all human

so the Netflix rule for me is a way of

focusing on those common human elements

the things that make us more alike than

different now once I actually do strike up that conversation I'm probably not

gonna talk about Emperor's New Groove

I'm probably not gonna talk about ice

cream or farting on airplanes these are

just things that make the person seem

more approachable in my head I focus on

these things

to break down those barriers that my

brain likes to put up to guard against

some perceived a terrible scenario

that'll happen if I dare to talk to this

person who's so far out of my league

side note though if you do want to know

what to say once you actually strike up

that conversation it's probably a good

idea to at least get the ball rolling by

talking about something that they've

done or maybe the talk that they just

gave because this is a good way of

striking up a conversation that has some

context in the moment and beyond that

you can also get better at making small

talk if you want a good place to start

from proving in that area my friend

Charlie has a great video on how to do

small talk if you're an introvert which

I'll have linked in the description down

below overall though it is your demeanor

that matters the most because there is a

huge difference between approaching

somebody as a human being versus acting

totally starstruck and that brings me to

another good point the Netflix rule

makes the interaction better for the

person you're talking to as well people

don't want to be put on pedestals nine

times out of 10 that uber successful

person that you are so scared to talk to

just wants to have a genuine human

conversation they don't want to be

separated or isolated just because the

nature of their work they want to have

real connections so if you can use this

meant

image them getting tired at the end of

day and watching Emperor's New Groove on

Netflix to humanize them and the

conversation is gonna go so much better

for them as well and there is yet

another benefit here too even if the

interaction is awkward even if it goes

kind of poorly that person is still

gonna go watch Netflix tonight and that

means that even if I kind of screw the

conversation up even if it's a little

awkward at the end of the day they are

not going to be thinking about me

they're gonna go watch Netflix they've

got their own problems their own lives

to worry about so really it can only go

one of two ways either the interaction

is awesome and maybe something cool

happens down the line because of that or

it's forgettable they move on with their

lives and I get to move on with mine as

well and this part of the mindset isn't

even limited to one-on-one interactions

either it can also be useful for things

like public speaking or anything where

you have to kind of put yourself out

there and you're scared about what

people will think

in fact writing this very video script

was partly an exercise in trying to

convince myself to sign up for a public

singing showcase that's happening in a

couple of months since I've been taking

vocal lessons and I'm very scared to do

it but I have to tell myself either it's

going to go great or it's going to be

forgettable for every single person in

that audience and I have to remind

myself that every great performer out

there whether they're a speaker or an

author a musician they have a lot of

forgettable performances in their past

but every single one contributed towards

their skills contributed towards their

confidence and the fact that they're

able to dazzle people now and have great

interactions now is because of all that

legwork that happened beforehand so

whether it's a one-on-one interaction

with somebody who you're nervous to talk

to or a performance on a stage remember

that it is a simple fork in the road

either you dazzle them or they forget

about you because well maybe got a

Netflix shows to go watch now it's good

to note that cultivating this mindset

can help you build better professional

relationships as well to help expand

your network and that's a great way to

expand your job prospects in the future

and if you're looking for more ways to

do that then another area you may want

to focus on is your ability to solve

problems because as more jobs and

processes become automated the

opportunities that are going to exist in

the future are increasingly going to

involve number one social skills but

number two the ability to pull knowledge

from disparate fields and creatively

solve problems that we haven't seen

before and the way that you improve your

skills in that area is through practice

is through daily problems

because as you solve problems over in

one area you become universally better

at it on the whole and a great place to

get that practice in while also learning

about math science and computer science

in depth is brilliant brilliant is a

learning platform that keeps the

principle of active learning at the

forefront of everything they do so

whether you're going through one of

their in-depth courses like calculus or

math for quantitative trading and

finance computer science algorithms or

gravitational physics or whether you're

going through one of their daily

problems you're gonna find yourself

immediately having to apply your

knowledge and actually solve problems

instead of just sitting back and being

lectured at with brilliance free plan

you get access to brand new daily

problems every single day like this one

on designing dice or this one on finding

the most efficient way to deliver power

and you also get access to their ultra

detailed wiki with lots of example

problems and concept descriptions and

their community discussion area and if

you decide to sign up for a premium

subscription you all lock all of their

in-depth courses along with the entire

archive of daily problems from past

weeks so if you want to start letting

for free then head over to brilliant org

slash Thomas Frank and sign up and if

you're one of the first 83 people to use

that link you're also going to get 20%

off that annual premium subscription

huge thanks goes out to brilliant for

sponsoring this video on being a

supporter of my channel and before I

wrap this video up I do have a couple of

quick announcements to make number one I

am hiring again I am looking to hire an

animator to work with both me and my

video editor to up the animation game on

this channel so if you are competent

with After Effects if you know vector

illustration if you know the difference

between an easing curve and an

easy-chair then go to the link in the

description down below and apply

secondly if you ever looked at that

never stop learning t-shirt that I've

worn in previous videos and thought

Demming I wish I could drink coffee at

the mint well I have some good news and

some bad news for you bad news first

if you pour coffee into that t-shirt it

is not going to be very drinkable I

guess you could kind of like rings shirt

out into your mouth

probably not advisable but the good news

is we now have mugs and you can go to

the link in the description down below

to get yourself one of those as well as

ladies tees and tanks they're all in the

store now so check those out if you are

interested as always you can click right

there to subscribe to this channel I'll

get new videos when they come out and

click right there to get a free copy of

my book on how to earn better grades

you can also smash your face and your

phone screen right here to watch one

more video on this channel or check out

our latest

gasps episode right here and I will see

you in the next one

Learn languages from TV shows, movies, news, articles and more! Try LingQ for FREE

How to Talk to Someone Who is "Out of Your League" ||||||||||ระดับสูงกว่า Wie man mit jemandem redet, der "nicht in seiner Liga spielt" Cómo hablar con alguien que está "fuera de tu alcance" Comment parler à quelqu'un qui ne vous ressemble pas ? Como falar com alguém que está "fora do seu alcance" Как разговаривать с человеком, который вам "не по зубам" "Sizi Aşan" Biriyle Nasıl Konuşmalısınız? 如何与“与你格格不入”的人交谈 如何與“不合群”的人交談

if you are anything like me you probably |||هر چیزی||||

get pretty nervous about the prospect of ||عصبی می‌شوم|||چشم‌انداز|

going up and talking or introducing going up and talking or introducing

yourself as somebody you admire whether ||||ที่คุณชื่นชม|

it's an author you like or a musician or

just somebody who's really

well-respected in your field the ||||Bereich|

prospect of going up and talking to that

person can seem like you're gonna waste

their time because it seems like they

are in a completely different league

from you but even if you do feel this

way there's probably some rational part

of your brain that knows that if you

could just work up the courage to go and

talk to that person something awesome

might happen even if it's just being

able to talk with somebody you really

admire for a couple of minutes that's

why in this video I want to share our

confidence hack that I use every single |Hacks|||||

time I'm nervous about going up and

talking to someone this is a simple

mindset change that at least for me can

be implemented right away and works

permanently afterwards but before I tell

you about it I want to first recount a |||||||بازگو کنم| |||||||erzählen|

time before I started using it which I

still regret back when I was in college |پشیمانم|به گذشته|||||

there was a conference going on in the

city just south of where my college was

and at that conference an author was

going to be speaking who I really really

admired so I drove down to the

conference I paid for my ticket and I

went to see him speak and afterwards

there were a few people lined up to go

talk to him but the line wasn't super

long so I really had every opportunity

in the world to go and say hi and

introduce myself and have a quick

conversation with him now did I actually

do that well you can probably guess the

answer to that question no I didn't

instead I went into the lobby I

awkwardly hung out for about 15 minutes

and then I left because number one I

completely psyched myself out I thought |aufgeregt|||| |ตื่นเต้นมาก|||| 내가 생각했던 것을 완전히 환각

that he was in a completely different

league and talking to him would have

been a complete waste of his time and

shooting my confidence down in that way

made me unwilling to talk to anybody ||unwillig||||

else in the conference so I did get to

see his talk but otherwise I completely

squandered all my opportunities at that vergeudet||||| สูญเสีย|||||

conference and I went home basically

empty-handed now fortunately this story

has a happy ending because the next year

that author actually came back into town

with a couple of his friends Ryan

Nicodemus and Joshua Milburn who you Nikodemus|||Milburn (1)||

might know as the minimalists to support ||||Minimalisten||

their book to her and I ended up

attending that book tour as well and

that time actually did work up the

courage to go and talk to him along with

those other two guides and they actually

ended up inviting me out for dinner so I

got an entire evening

talk to them and that happened because

on this occasion I actually did use the

hack that I'm about to tell you about

and I like to call it the Netflix rule

this is a really simple rule basically

anytime I'm nervous about going up and

talking to somebody who seems out of my

league or seems really really successful

I think about what they're going to be

doing at the end of the day because no

matter how successful they are no matter

how great the things that they are doing

right now are at the end of the day at

some point they are gonna get tired

they're gonna kick their shoes off and

they're probably gonna sit down to watch

some Netflix it's probably gonna be

Emperor's New Groove I mean I don't

think there's any other real legitimate |||||legitimen |||||ที่แท้จริง

choice in the platform right now but

that's kind of a sides the point

everyone no matter how successful no

matter how seemingly untouchable is |||unantastbar|

human no one is a god everyone farts on |||||||furzt|

airplanes and hopes no one else will

notice we're all human

so the Netflix rule for me is a way of

focusing on those common human elements

the things that make us more alike than

different now once I actually do strike up that conversation I'm probably not

gonna talk about Emperor's New Groove

I'm probably not gonna talk about ice

cream or farting on airplanes these are

just things that make the person seem

more approachable in my head I focus on

these things

to break down those barriers that my

brain likes to put up to guard against

some perceived a terrible scenario

that'll happen if I dare to talk to this 일부는 끔찍한 시나리오를 인식

person who's so far out of my league

side note though if you do want to know

what to say once you actually strike up 당신이 알고 싶다면 사이드 노트

that conversation it's probably a good 일단 당신이 실제로 파업하면 무엇을 말할

idea to at least get the ball rolling by

talking about something that they've

done or maybe the talk that they just

gave because this is a good way of

striking up a conversation that has some iniciar uma conversa que tenha alguma

context in the moment and beyond that

you can also get better at making small

talk if you want a good place to start

from proving in that area my friend

Charlie has a great video on how to do

small talk if you're an introvert which

I'll have linked in the description down

below overall though it is your demeanor ||||||Erscheinung ||||||ท่าทาง

that matters the most because there is a

huge difference between approaching

somebody as a human being versus acting

totally starstruck and that brings me to |sternenverzückt|und||||

another good point the Netflix rule

makes the interaction better for the

person you're talking to as well people

don't want to be put on pedestals nine ||||||Sockel|

times out of 10 that uber successful

person that you are so scared to talk to

just wants to have a genuine human

conversation they don't want to be

separated or isolated just because the

nature of their work they want to have

real connections so if you can use this

meant

image them getting tired at the end of

day and watching Emperor's New Groove on

Netflix to humanize them and the ||menschlich machen|||

conversation is gonna go so much better

for them as well and there is yet

another benefit here too even if the

interaction is awkward even if it goes

kind of poorly that person is still

gonna go watch Netflix tonight and that

means that even if I kind of screw the |||||||verpatze|

conversation up even if it's a little

awkward at the end of the day they are

not going to be thinking about me

they're gonna go watch Netflix they've

got their own problems their own lives

to worry about so really it can only go

one of two ways either the interaction

is awesome and maybe something cool

happens down the line because of that or ||der|||||

it's forgettable they move on with their |vergesslich|||||

lives and I get to move on with mine as

well and this part of the mindset isn't ||||||Denkweise|

even limited to one-on-one interactions

either it can also be useful for things

like public speaking or anything where

you have to kind of put yourself out

there and you're scared about what

people will think

in fact writing this very video script

was partly an exercise in trying to

convince myself to sign up for a public

singing showcase that's happening in a espetáculo de canto que está a acontecer numa

couple of months since I've been taking

vocal lessons and I'm very scared to do

it but I have to tell myself either it's

going to go great or it's going to be

forgettable for every single person in vergesslich|||||

that audience and I have to remind

myself that every great performer out

there whether they're a speaker or an

author a musician they have a lot of

forgettable performances in their past

but every single one contributed towards ||||trug bei|

their skills contributed towards their

confidence and the fact that they're

able to dazzle people now and have great ||beeindrucken|||||

interactions now is because of all that

legwork that happened beforehand so Vorarbeit|||| trabalho braçal que foi feito antes para

whether it's a one-on-one interaction

with somebody who you're nervous to talk

to or a performance on a stage remember

that it is a simple fork in the road que se trata de uma simples bifurcação na estrada

either you dazzle them or they forget ||impress|||| ||ทำให้ตะลึง||||

about you because well maybe got a

Netflix shows to go watch now it's good

to note that cultivating this mindset |||Förderung|| |||การปลูกฝัง||

can help you build better professional

relationships as well to help expand

your network and that's a great way to

expand your job prospects in the future

and if you're looking for more ways to

do that then another area you may want

to focus on is your ability to solve

problems because as more jobs and

processes become automated the

opportunities that are going to exist in

the future are increasingly going to

involve number one social skills but

number two the ability to pull knowledge

from disparate fields and creatively |unterschiedlichen||| |หลากหลาย|||

solve problems that we haven't seen

before and the way that you improve your

skills in that area is through practice

is through daily problems

because as you solve problems over in

one area you become universally better

at it on the whole and a great place to

get that practice in while also learning

about math science and computer science

in depth is brilliant brilliant is a

learning platform that keeps the

principle of active learning at the

forefront of everything they do so Vordergrund||||| na vanguarda de tudo o que fazem para

whether you're going through one of

their in-depth courses like calculus or |||||Analysis (1)|

math for quantitative trading and

finance computer science algorithms or

gravitational physics or whether you're

going through one of their daily

problems you're gonna find yourself

immediately having to apply your

knowledge and actually solve problems

instead of just sitting back and being

lectured at with brilliance free plan |||Brillanz||

you get access to brand new daily

problems every single day like this one

on designing dice or this one on finding sobre como desenhar dados ou este sobre como encontrar

the most efficient way to deliver power

and you also get access to their ultra

detailed wiki with lots of example |Wiki-Seite|||| wiki pormenorizada com muitos exemplos

problems and concept descriptions and

their community discussion area and if

you decide to sign up for a premium

subscription you all lock all of their

in-depth courses along with the entire

archive of daily problems from past

weeks so if you want to start letting

for free then head over to brilliant org

slash Thomas Frank and sign up and if

you're one of the first 83 people to use

that link you're also going to get 20%

off that annual premium subscription

huge thanks goes out to brilliant for

sponsoring this video on being a

supporter of my channel and before I

wrap this video up I do have a couple of

quick announcements to make number one I

am hiring again I am looking to hire an

animator to work with both me and my Animator|||||||

video editor to up the animation game on

this channel so if you are competent

with After Effects if you know vector ||||||Vektor(1)

illustration if you know the difference

between an easing curve and an

easy-chair then go to the link in the

description down below and apply

secondly if you ever looked at that

never stop learning t-shirt that I've

worn in previous videos and thought

Demming I wish I could drink coffee at Demming (1)|||||||

the mint well I have some good news and

some bad news for you bad news first

if you pour coffee into that t-shirt it

is not going to be very drinkable I

guess you could kind of like rings shirt

out into your mouth

probably not advisable but the good news ||ratsam||||

is we now have mugs and you can go to

the link in the description down below

to get yourself one of those as well as

ladies tees and tanks they're all in the |T-Shirts||||||

store now so check those out if you are

interested as always you can click right

there to subscribe to this channel I'll

get new videos when they come out and

click right there to get a free copy of

my book on how to earn better grades

you can also smash your face and your

phone screen right here to watch one

more video on this channel or check out

our latest

gasps episode right here and I will see Atemzüge|||||||

you in the next one