Friends S03E07 2d
Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King ? So please, please, please don't say anything to Chandler. - You want me to lie to him ? - Is that a problem ? Oh, hey, "Nick the boxer. " Let's see what you got ! - All right, put them up. Come on. - Hey, you're pretty good at this. I had to learn. I was staying at the Y... ...and some of the young men weren't acting Christian enough. Hey, now ! And I'm bleeding. Okay, great. Wow ! And I'm a vegetarian ! I'm sorry. We'll put some ice on it. - Put your head back. - All right. - I can't see. - I have you. Oh, God ! Which bedroom do you want it in, Ms. Geller ? It's the compulsively neat one by the window. Gotcha. Hi, Daddy ! This is where they put us ? What, there was no table available in the kitchen ? - Hello, baby. - You remember Ross. Nice to see you again, Dr. Greene. So... - How's the library ? - Museum. - What happened to the library ? - There never was a library. I mean, there are libraries. It's just... ...that I've never worked at one. You know what's really good here ? The lobster. - What do you say ? Shall I order three ? - Lf you're really hungry. It was a joke. I made a joke. Actually, Daddy, Ross is allergic to lobster. What kind of person's allergic to lobster ? I guess the kind of person that works in a library. - It's not... - I know. It's a museum ! You're the only who can make a joke ? At least mine was funny. Waiter. We will have two lobsters and a menu. So, Dr. Greene, how's the old boat ? They found rust. Do you know what rust does to a boat ? Gives it a nice antique-y look ? Rust is boat cancer, Ross. Wow, I'm sorry. When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that. Excuse me for a moment, will you ? I wanna say good night to the Levines before we go. Honey, stop. It's not that bad. Your dad must have added wrong. He only tipped like 4%% . Yeah. That's Daddy. "That's Daddy" ? Doesn't it bother you ? You're a waitress. Yes, it bothers me. If he was a regular at the coffee house, I'd be serving him sneezers. - So ? - So, Ross... ...l've bugged him about this a million times. He won't change. Do you really serve people sneezers ? Well, I don't. All right, kids. Ready ? Thanks again, Dr. Greene. Wait, I think I forgot my receipt. - You don't need that. - Why not ? The carbon. It's messy. I mean, gets on your fingers and causes... ...night blindness. What is this ? Who put a 20 down here ? Huh ? Oh, yeah, that would be me. I have a problem. I tip way too much. Way too much. - It's a sickness, really. - Yeah, it is. - We have to do something about that. - Excuse me. You think I'm cheap ? He didn't mean anything by that. He really didn't. Nothing I do means anything. Really. This is nice. I pay $200 for dinner. You put down $20 and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot ? Here. I'll tell you what : You pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot. All right ? Well, "Mr. Big Shot" is better than "Wet-Head." Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor. So if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket... ...take a pair of tweezers... ...and just start pulling. Or let's say I wanna convey... ...that I've just done something evil. That would be your basic I've-got-a- fish-hook-in-my-eyebrow-and-l-like-it. Let's say I've just gotten bad news. Well, all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight, everybody. Class dismissed. - Hey, Mr. Trib. - Hey. Guess what ? I got an audition ! One of my students got an audition. I'm so proud ! I was wondering if you'd consider coaching me for it. - You bet ! What's the part ? - Oh, it's great ! It's a role on All My Children. Nick the boxer. You had to do it. You couldn't leave it alone. Four percent, okay ? I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food. Tonight was about the two of you getting along. Would you just see my chiropractor already ? I'm gonna go to a doctor who went to medical school in a mini-mall. Hey, Pheebs. What are you doing ? I'm freaking out ! Monica trusted me with something and she shouldn't have ! I haven't lived here in a while, so I have to ask you. Does Monica still turn the lights on in her bedroom ? I am so dead ! Look, here's the bottom line. This is fixable if we act fast, okay ? I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow, and you can make nice. Honey, I have tried to make nice. It doesn't work. Look, I realize my father is difficult. But that's why you have got to be the bigger man here. Sweetie, I could be the bigger man. I could be the biggest man. I could be a big, huge, giant man, it still wouldn't make a difference. Except I could pick your father up and say, "Like me ! Like me, tiny doctor !" Can't you just try it one more time ? For me ? For me ? One brunch is not gonna solve anything. Face it. We're never gonna get along. Well, you are just going to have to. I've already got a mother and father who cannot stay in the same room. I don't want to have a separate room for you too ! I'll get the bagels.
