(Spotlight4737)Traditions of Love 29 August, 2011
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Welcome to Spotlight. I'm Christy VanArragon. Voice 2
And I'm Joshua Leo. Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand no matter where in the world they live.
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Do you know how your parents first met? Do you know what happened before they got married? What did your grandparents do to get to know each other before they got married? How have you looked for a husband or wife? Today's Spotlight is on courtship, the many different ways men and women find a husband or wife. Voice 2
Courtship is a name for the process of finding and getting to know someone that you will marry. Today, many people do this through "dating". But not in every culture! Courtship happens differently in cultures around the world. And courtship today often is very different from courtship hundreds of years ago. Let's look at some of the different ways people find love. Voice 1
In ancient times many marriages started when men from one group or tribe would steal a woman from another tribe. The woman would then be forced to become the man's wife. She would become a part of her new tribe.
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Family and community are often important in finding a husband or wife. For royal families, this choice can also affect a whole country. Often, these marriages are arranged. That is, someone helps to choose the husband or wife, or even forces a particular choice.
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Arranged marriages were common through history among royal families, as a way to bring security to a country. One example of this is Queen Maria Theresa of Austria. She had thirteen sons and daughters. She used her children as a way to help her country avoid wars. The Queen forced her children to marry dukes and duchesses' from other countries. By the end of her life, Maria had children who were part of the royal families of Spain, France, Netherlands, and Italy.
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Arranged marriages do not just happen among rich and powerful people. And they are often a way for parents to love and care for their children. This kind of marriage is common in many cultures.
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In some areas of Pakistan, families follow a courtship tradition called Pait likkhi. In the Urdu Language, Pait means "written". Likkhi means Stomach. So Pait Likkhi means "written on the stomach". Two families agree to marry their children before they are born or when they are very young. The marriage then happens when the children are young adults. The children must follow the wishes of their families. They are not permitted to decide who they will marry. But recently, courts in Pakistan have tried to fight this tradition.
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There is also a form of arranged marriage in Japan. There, this process is called Miai. Parents will choose a boy for their daughter to meet. Sometimes the family will hire a nakodo or "go between" - a person who knows many young people in the community. This nakodo will then choose two available people. The man and woman look at pictures of each other and then decide to meet. The families and the son and daughter all attend this first meeting. If the meeting goes well, then the couple may meet again and someday get married.
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But if a marriage is not arranged, how do two people find each other for marriage? There are many other traditions that help people meet each other.
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Meeting in public places is a common custom for courtship. In the village of Croscombe in England, young men and women had an interesting courting tradition. In the fourteen hundreds the young unmarried women in the village would block the village streets. They would make all the unmarried men pay a fine to pass through. The next day, the unmarried men would block the street and the women would have to pay. All the money collected went to the local church and the young men and women got to know each other a little better.
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A newer form of courtship is called "speed dating". The idea started in Beverly Hills, California in nineteen ninety eight. Here is how speed dating works. Many men and women gather together at a restaurant or bar. A speed dating leader tells the people what to do. Each man finds a woman to talk to and they sit down at a table. The man and woman talk and ask questions to quickly learn about the other person. After about five minutes, the speed dating leader rings a bell. Everyone must find a new person to talk to.
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The men and women talk to many people throughout the night. If a man enjoys talking to one particular woman, he writes her name down. The women do the same thing. At the end of the night everyone gives these names to the speed dating leader. If a man and woman wrote each other's names, they are a match! The speed dating leader gives them the phone number or email address of their match.
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Speed dating may seem like a foolish way to meet people. How much can you really learn about a person in just five minutes? But many experts say that some of the most important opinions you make about someone happen within the first thirty seconds. Speed dating is quick courtship!
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Courtship traditions in the Philippines are not quick like this. Instead, it has many different parts. The man and the woman slowly show interest in each other. When the interest is confirmed, they begin to go on dates. But in different areas of the country, there are other traditions too. In the Palawan region, men perform courtship through the use of love riddles. A riddle is a question that must be solved. Riddles often have hidden meanings. The parents of the girl ask the man and his parents riddles to learn more about them.
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In the Pangasinan region of the Philippines, the man makes liquid love potions. He gives them to the woman hoping she will drink them and fall in love with him. If this does not work, he will act out a story or drama to show his love for the woman.
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In the Vasayas Region the men sing songs to the women they want to marry. Men also will write love letters and give them to a close friend to bring to the woman. But the man does not only write to the woman. He also writes to her family.
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Whatever the culture, courtship is an important part of life. Courtship is how we decide who to marry. It is part of forming families. No matter how you find a husband or wife, courtship is the first part of forming a good marriage relationship.
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What do you think of these courtship traditions? What do you look for in a person who you will marry? Share your thoughts with us. You can email us at radio@english.net or visit our website at http://www.radio.english.net. You can also find Spotlight on Facebook. Just search for Spotlight Radio.
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The writer and producer of today's program was Joshua Leo. The voices you heard were from the United States. This programme is called "Traditions of Love". We hope you can join us for the next Spotlight program, goodbye.
