Kako da "iskulirate" kad vas neko PROVOCIRA? Wie kann man sich „entschuldigen“, wenn einen jemand provoziert? How to "cool off" when someone PROVOKS you?

Dragi moji, dobro mi došli! Ja sam Slavica, ovo je moj YouTube kanal My dears, welcome! I'm Slavica, this is my YouTube channel

i četvrtkom ovde uvek možete da nađete and on Thursdays you can always find it here

savete kako da kreirate život i posao koje ćete da obožavate.

Ovog četvrtka želim da odgovorim na pitanje koje mi se jako često postavlja This Thursday I want to answer a question that I get asked very often

a to je pitanje kako da odvojimo and that is the question of how to separate

emocije i da kontrolišemo emocije. Naročito to ljudi pitaju za posao. emotions and to control emotions. Especially people ask about work.

Zaista bih želela da što bolje odgovorim na to pitanje I would really like to answer that question as best as possible

i daću vam ovde ideju kako možete da koristite svoje emocije and I will give you an idea here how you can use your emotions

ali ne kako možete da ih isključite, da se od njih odvojite, but not how you can turn them off, separate yourself from them,

zato što to nije moguće.

Vrlo često čujem to od ljudi:

"posao nema šta da traži sa emocijama, emocije na poslu nisu dobre..." "work has nothing to do with emotions, emotions at work are not good..."

Važno je da razumete da ne treba

i nije ni moguće na silu and it is not even possible by force

da se odvajate od svojih emocija. to detach yourself from your emotions.

Mi nemamo dugme na koje možemo da isključimo svoje emocije. We don't have a button to turn off our emotions.

I gušiti emocije, gurati ih pod tepih, And stifle emotions, push them under the carpet,

to zaista nije dobro.

Mnogo je bolje da naučite da ih

kontrolišete.

A zašto nije dobro? Kad vi delujete da ste And why is it not good? When you act like you are

bez emocije ili gušite svoje emocije, emotionless or suppressing your emotions,

vi gušite svoj napredak, vi gušite svoj uspeh. you stifle your progress, you stifle your success.

Zato što je emocija ono što pokreće ljude. Because emotion is what moves people.

Pitajte sve koji su uspešni. Svi će vam reći Ask everyone who is successful. Everyone will tell you

da je emocija ono što ih je pokretalo that emotion was what drove them

Zato je važno da gajite pozitivne emocije That's why it's important to cultivate positive emotions

i emocije koje vas guraju napred. and emotions that push you forward.

I takođe, još jedna stvar je važna. Zbog čega je važno da vi imate emociju And also, one more thing is important. Which is why it is important that you have an emotion

da je pokazujete,

ali da je kontrolišete:

a to je poverenje drugih ljudi. and that is the trust of other people.

Da biste bili uspešni, u karijeri, u poslu...

u životu...

važno je da vas drugi ljudi podrže. it is important that other people support you.

A da bi vam drugi ljudi dali podršku And for other people to support you

važno je da vam veruju. it is important that they trust you.

A da bi vam verovali,

jako je važno da niste distancirani it is very important that you are not distant

hladni i da ne mogu ništa da pročitaju s vašeg lica. cold and unable to read anything from your face.

Jer, ako ne mogu, ako ništa nema, Because if I can't, if there's nothing,

onda oni ne znaju na šta mogu da se oslone. then they don't know what they can rely on.

I misle da ne mogu na vas da se oslone And they think they can't rely on you

i da ne mogu da vam veruju

i neće vas rado podržati. and they will not be happy to support you.

Ali ako vi pokazujete iskrene emocije, But if you show genuine emotions,

ali kanalisane, but channeled,

i odmerene i prikladne, both measured and appropriate,

onda je to sasvim nešto drugo.

Tako ćete radije dobiti That's how you'd rather get it

I podršku i svoju pokretačku snagu iznutra And support and your driving force from within

i biti neko kome se veruje and be someone you can trust

i za kim se rado ide. and who is happy to follow.

Psihologija nam je dala jednostavan način da razumemo to. Psychology has given us a simple way to understand it.

i zbog toga, evo ja ću to da vam objasnim, and because of that, here I am going to explain it to you,

lako ćete razumeti i mislim da ćete krenuti već od danas, malo da vežbate. you will understand easily and I think you will start starting today, just practice a little.

Jer šta se u stvari dešava,

emocija je nešto što se u nama dešava nakon emotion is something that happens in us after

nečega što pomislimo. something we think.

Znači, misao je ona koja inicira određenu emociju. So, the thought is the one that initiates a certain emotion.

A misao nastaje od onoga na šta se fokusiramo And thought arises from what we focus on

i šta za nas nešto znači. and what something means to us.

Daću vam jedan jednostavan primer.

Evo, na primer, vi ste se spremali za neki sastanak Here, for example, you were getting ready for a meeting

koji je zakazao vaš šef scheduled by your boss

sa vama i pripremili ste sve što je potrebno with you and you have prepared everything you need

i dugo ste radili na tome and you worked on it for a long time

i veoma ste spremni, sastanak treba da počne,

i šef vas zove pet minuta pre

i kaže:

da se izvinjava i da ne može da prisustvuje sastanku to apologize and not be able to attend the meeting

zadržao se na nekom drugom sastanku i neće doći. he got stuck in some other meeting and won't come.

I sada,

počinje naravno to da bude

jedan proces o kom vi razmišljate.

i jako je važno na koji način se vi fokusirate na ono što se desilo. and it is very important how you focus on what happened.

znači, imate više mogućnosti. so you have more options.

I naravno, neko će izabrati And of course, someone will choose

da pomisli

"Eto, toliko sam se spremala..." "There, I've been preparing so much..."

"toliko radim..."

"toliko mi je ovo važno..."

"i šef je sad prednost dao nekom drugom" "and now the boss has given priority to someone else"

"ja uopšte nisam važna" "I'm not important at all"

"njemu je svejedno što sam se ja toliko spremala..." "He doesn't care that I prepared so much..."

I onda vas obuzme možda razočaranost And then perhaps disappointment overtakes you

i tuga zbog toga. and sadness about it.

I na neki način to izazove određeno ponašanje And in a way it causes certain behavior

prema vašem šefu kada se sretnete sa njim towards your boss when you meet him

vi ćete verovatno pokazati svoje razočaranje. you are likely to show your disappointment.

I to neće dobro uticati na vašu karijeru And it will not affect your career well

i na vaš napredak.

Ili na primer, možda se desi da

odaberete neke druge misli, a to znači da

razmišljate: "Kakav je to bezobrazluk!" you think, "How rude!"

"Ovoliko sam se spremala" "I've been preparing this much"

"i nije našao za shodno da mi barem otkaže" "and he didn't see fit to cancel me at least"

"pola sata ranije" "half an hour early"

"Šta on misli? Da ja nemam druga posla?" "What does he think? That I have nothing else to do?"

"Da ja samo sedim ovde i čekam da mi on javi da ne može da dođe?" "Should I just sit here and wait for him to tell me he can't come?"

"Na šta to liči?"

"Nema poštovanja nimalo prema meni!" "No respect for me at all!"

I odmah vas obuzme bes. And immediately you get angry.

I kada vas obuzmu ljutnja i bes, And when anger and rage overwhelm you,

onda takođe nakon te emocije

vaše ponašanje prema vašem šefu your behavior towards your boss

će to sigurno nekako obojiti. will surely color it somehow.

i verujem da vam to takođe neće biti korisno and I believe it will not be useful to you either

za vašu karijeru.

Ali ono što je dobro: mi možemo da biramo te misli. But the good thing: we can choose those thoughts.

Čak i ako nas uhvati, što je razumljivo, bes ili tuga u nekom momentu, Even if we are caught, understandably, by anger or sadness at some point,

vi možete da promenite svoje misli.

I da vežbate to.

Da kažete: Ok, šta je meni sad u ovoj situaciji korisno da mislim?

Neće doći, pa neće doći. Spremala sam se, pa sam se spremala. He won't come, so he won't come. I was getting ready, so I was getting ready.

Ok, neće doći. Šta je meni korisno?

Mogu da vidim taj neki događaj I can see that some event

ja mogu da se fokusiram na ono što je za mene dobro u tom događaju I can focus on what is good for me in that event

i da razmislim ovako:

Ok, otkazao mi je sad, ja sam se pripremila, Ok, he canceled on me now, I prepared myself,

time mi je dao vremena da mogu još malo bolje to da dotegnem. with that, he gave me time to be able to reach it a little better.

I još više da se spremim. Ili,

možete da kažete: Juhu, imam sad vremena da uradim

nešto drugo što mi je jako važno

i da mu prezentiram i to možda kada bude sastanak. and to present it to him, maybe when there is a meeting.

Da mu prezentiram i to nešto... Tako da ću biti još spremnija za sledeći sastanak Let me present to him that something too... So that I will be even more prepared for the next meeting

koji ćemo svakako nadoknaditi which we will definitely make up for

i biću ja srećna zbog toga

i uradiću sve što je potrebno da zaista pokažem šefu da and I will do whatever it takes to really show the boss that

sam vredna i da napredujem. I am hardworking and I want to progress.

I to može da vam pomogne u napretku u karijeri. And it can help you advance in your career.

Isto tako može to da bude i u privatnom životu. It can also be in private life.

Možda vam je neka drugarica zakazala sastanak Maybe a friend made an appointment for you

I onda, otkaže vam pet minuta pre. And then, he cancels five minutes early.

Možete da birate: hoćete li da budete tužni, da mislite da niste vredni, You can choose: to be sad, to think you are worthless,

da ima nešto važnije od vas that there is something more important than you

ili ćete biti besni, jer ćete misliti da je bezobrazna, nevaspitana i da vas ne poštuje, or you will be furious, because you will think that she is rude, ill-mannered and disrespectful to you,

ili ćete reći: Nema veze, popiću sad kafu, ako sam već došla na mesto or you will say: It doesn't matter, I'll drink coffee now, if I've already arrived at the place

dogovora, a onda ću da odem da uradim nešto lepo za sebe deal, and then I'm going to go do something nice for myself

što možda ne bih uradila da nije toga. which I might not have done if it weren't for that.

Tako da, izbor je uvek vaš.

I važno je da birate pametno. And it's important to choose wisely.

kako ćete u stvari da tumačite određene situacije how you will actually interpret certain situations

jer od toga zavisi šta ćete misliti,

a od toga zavisi kako ćete se osećati and it depends on how you will feel

i ovo što sam vam rekla je najbolji način da kontrolišete svoje emocije and what I told you is the best way to control your emotions

tako što sebi, kada se nešto desi by yourself, when something happens

postavite pitanje:

i preispitate svoje misli and reconsider your thoughts

kroz pitanje

Šta je meni sada najkorisnije da ja mislim What is the most useful thing for me to think about now

i šta je ono što će dovesti do emocija koje će and what is it that will lead to the emotions that will

opet dovesti do ponašanja lead to behavior again

koji će opet dovesti do rezultata which will again lead to results

koji su meni korisni? which ones are useful to me?

Na koji način ću ja u stvari ovde odreagovati How will I actually react here?

na jedan inteligentan to one intelligent

i elegantan način

i osećati se dobro u vezi sa tim. and feel good about it.

Znači, to je pitanje koje sebi treba da postavite. So, that is the question you should ask yourself.

I onda ćete imati priliku da izaberete kako ćete da se odnosite prema tome And then you'll have a chance to choose how you're going to deal with it

i onda ćete tako naučiti da kontrolišete svoje emocije.

Nadam se da vam je ovo korisno

A ako vam je korisno, puno korisnih stvari ovakvog tipa And if you find it useful, lots of useful stuff like this

kako da se pripremite za razgovor za how to prepare for an interview

povišicu, kako da se pripremite za razgovor za bolji posao, a raise, how to prepare for a better job interview,

kako da prepoznajete različite tipove ljudi how to recognize different types of people

da budete uticajni u okruženju u kom radite, to be influential in the environment in which you work,

kako zaista da

prezentirate šta ste sve uradili, present what you have done,

da stvarno ljudi vide oko vas šta radite so that people around you can really see what you are doing

i da nekako sebe postavite kao brend and somehow position yourself as a brand

u firmi i u okruženju u kom radite. in the company and in the environment in which you work.

Kako da razne stvari How to do various things

radite ciljano kako biste unapredili svoju karijeru work in a targeted manner to advance your career

ili jednostavno preokrenuli svoju karijeru or simply turned their career around

možda promenili posao ili promenili maybe changed jobs or changed

firmu u kojoj radite posao, the company where you work,

možda volite svoj posao, ali ne volite firmu, maybe you love your job but you don't love the company,

možda ne volite ni posao koji radite maybe you don't even like the job you do

i želite da ga promenite...

Šta god da je u pitanju da želite da promenite Whatever it is that you want to change

da unapredite kada je vaša karijera u pitanju, to advance when it comes to your career,

mi imamo ONLINE Program za unapređenje karijere we have an ONLINE Career Development Program

koji traje dva meseca i u kom će biti jako puno korisnih ovakvih which lasts two months and in which there will be a lot of useful things like this

videa i lekcija i koje će vas pokrenuti na razmišljanje videos and lessons that will get you thinking

da shvatite šta je to što želite,

i da lakim koracima idete ka tome. and to take easy steps towards it.

Dole imate link, kliknite na link You have a link below, click on the link

pogledajte, prijavite se

i vidimo se.

A ako vam je koristan ovaj video,

vi ga lajkujte,

i onda podelite sa svojim prijateljima

možda još nekom bude korisno.

Napišite o čemu biste još voleli da vidite neki

video od mene.

I hvala vam na pitanjima! Vidimo se! And thank you for your questions! See you!