Chapter 7 (p.2)
The piece of shit he chose was a 1983 Chevy Nova, which he bought, with a full tank of gas, for four hundred and fifty dollars. It had almost a quarter of a million miles on the clock, and smelled faintly of bourbon, tobacco, and more strongly of something that reminded Shadow of bananas. He couldn't tell what color it was, under the dirt and the snow. Still, of all the vehicles in Mattie's brother-in-law's back lot, it was the only one that looked like it might take him five hundred miles.
The deal was done in cash, and Mattie's brother-in-law never asked for Shadow's name or social security number or for anything except the money.
Shadow drove west, then south, with five hundred and fifty dollars in his pocket, keeping off the interstate. The piece of shit had a radio, but nothing happened when he turned it on. A sign said he'd left Wisconsin and was now in Illinois. He passed a strip-mining works, huge blue arc lights burning in the dim midwinter daylight.
He stopped and ate lunch at a place called Mom's, catching them just before they closed for the afternoon. The food was okay.
Each town he passed through had an extra sign up beside the sign telling him that he was now entering Our Town (pop. 720). The extra sign announced that the town's Under-14s team was the third runner-up in the interstate Hundred-Yard Sprint, or that the town was the home of the Illinois Girls' Under-16s Wrestling semifinalist.
He drove on, head nodding, feeling more drained and exhausted with every minute that passed. He ran a stoplight, and was nearly sideswiped by a woman in a Dodge. As soon as he got out into open country he pulled off onto an empty tractor path on the side of the road, and he parked by a snow-spotted stubbly field in which a slow procession of fat black wild turkeys walked like a line of mourners; he turned off the engine, stretched out in the back seat, and fell asleep.
Darkness; a sensation of falling—as if he were tumbling down a great hole, like Alice. He fell for a hundred years into darkness. Faces passed him, swimming out of the black, then each face was ripped up and away before he could touch it…
Abruptly, and without transition, he was not falling. Now he was in a cave, and he was no longer alone. Shadow stared into familiar eyes: huge, liquid black eyes. They blinked.
Under the earth: yes. He remembered this place. The stink of wet cow. Firelight flickered on the wet cave walls, illuminating the buffalo head, the man's body, skin the color of brick clay.
“Can't you people leave me be?” asked Shadow. “I just want to sleep.”
The buffalo man nodded, slowly. His lips did not move, but a voice in Shadow's head said, “Where are you going, Shadow?”
“Cairo.”
“Why?”
“Where else have I got to go? It's where Wednesday wants me to go. I drank his mead.” In Shadow's dream, with the power of dream-logic behind it, the obligation seemed unarguable: he drank Wednesday's mead three times, and sealed the pact—what other choice of action did he have?
The buffalo-headed man reached a hand into the fire, stirring the embers and the broken branches into a blaze. “The storm is coming,” he said. Now there was ash on his hands, and he wiped it onto his hairless chest, leaving soot-black streaks.
“So you people keep telling me. Can I ask you a question?”
There was a pause. A fly settled on the furry forehead. The buffalo man flicked it away. “Ask.”
“Is this true? Are these people really gods? It's all so…” He paused. Then he said, “Unlikely,” which was not exactly the word he had been going for but seemed to be the best he could do.
“What are gods?” asked the buffalo man.
“I don't know,” said Shadow.
There was a tapping, relentless and dull. Shadow waited for the buffalo man to say something more, to explain what gods were, to explain the whole tangled nightmare that his life seemed to have become. He was cold. The fire no longer burned.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Shadow opened his eyes, and, groggily, sat up. He was freezing, and the sky outside the car was the deep luminescent purple that divides the dusk from the night.
Tap.
Tap.
Someone said, “Hey, mister,” and Shadow turned his head. The someone was standing beside the car, no more than a darker shape against the darkling sky. Shadow reached out a hand and cranked down the window a few inches. He made several waking-up noises, and then he said, “Hi.”
“You all right? You sick? You been drinking?” The voice was high—a woman's or a boy's.
“I'm fine,” said Shadow. “Hold on.” He opened the door, and got out, stretching his aching limbs and neck as he did so. Then he rubbed his hands together, to get the blood circulating and to warm them up.
“Whoa. You're pretty big.”
“That's what they tell me,” said Shadow. “Who are you?”
“I'm Sam,” said the voice.
“Boy Sam or girl Sam?”
“Girl-Sam. I used to be Sammi with an i, and I'd do a smiley face over the i, but then I got completely sick of it because like absolutely everybody was doing it, so I stopped.”
“Okay, girl-Sam. You go over there, and look out at the road.”
“Why? Are you a crazed killer or something?”
“No,” said Shadow, “I need to take a leak and I'd like just the smallest amount of privacy.”
“Oh. Right. Okay. Got it. No problem. I am so with you. I can't even pee if there's someone in the next stall. Major shy bladder syndrome.”
“Now, please.”
She walked to the far side of the car, and Shadow took a few steps closer to the field, unzipped his jeans, and pissed against a fencepost for a very long time. He walked back to the car. The last of the gloaming had become night.
“You still there?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. “You must have a bladder like Lake Erie. I think empires rose and fell in the time it took you to pee. I could hear it the whole time.”
“Thank you. Do you want something?”
“Well, I wanted to see if you were okay. I mean, if you were dead or something I would have called the cops. But the windows were kind of fogged up so I thought, well, he's probably still alive.”
“You live around here?”
“Nope. Hitchhiking down from Madison.”
“That's not safe.”
“I've done it five times a year for three years now. I'm still alive. Where are you headed?”
“I'm going as far as Cairo.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I'm going to El Paso. Staying with my aunt for the holidays.”
“I can't take you all the way,” said Shadow.
“Not El Paso, Texas. The other one, in Illinois. It's a few hours south. You know where you are now?”
“No,” said Shadow. “I have no idea. Somewhere on Highway Fifty-two?”
“The next town's Peru,” said Sam. “Not the one in Peru. The one in Illinois. Let me smell you. Bend down.” Shadow bent down, and the girl sniffed his face. “Okay. I don't smell booze. You can drive. Let's go.”
“What makes you think I'm giving you a ride?”
“Because I'm a damsel in distress,” she said, “and you are a knight in whatever. A really dirty car. You know someone wrote Wash Me! on your rear windshield?” Shadow got into the car and opened the passenger door. The light that goes on in cars when the front door is opened did not go on in this car.
“No,” he said, “I didn't.”
She climbed in. “It was me,” she said. “I wrote it. While there was still enough light to see.”
Shadow started the car, turned on the headlights, and headed back onto the road. “Left,” said Sam helpfully. Shadow turned left, and he drove. After several minutes the heater started to work, and blessed warmth filled the car.
“You haven't said anything yet,” said Sam. “Say something.”
“Are you human?” asked Shadow. “An honest-to-goodness, born-of-man-and-woman, living breathing human being?”
“Sure,” she said.
“Okay. Just checking. So what would you like me to say?”
“Something to reassure me, at this point. I suddenly have that oh shit I'm in the wrong car with a crazy man feeling.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I've had that one. What would you find reassuring?”
“Just tell me you're not an escaped convict or a mass murderer or something.”
He thought for a moment. “You know, I'm really not.”
“You had to think about it though, didn't you?”
“Done my time. Never killed anybody.”
“Oh.”
They entered a small town, lit up by streetlights and blinking Christmas decorations, and Shadow glanced to his right. The girl had a tangle of short dark hair and a face that was both attractive and, he decided, faintly mannish: her features might have been chiseled out of rock. She was looking at him.
“What were you in prison for?”
“I hurt a couple of people real bad. I got angry.”
“Did they deserve it?”
Shadow thought for a moment. “I thought so at the time.”
“Would you do it again?”
“Hell, no. I lost three years of my life in there.”
“Mm. You got Indian blood in you?”
“Not that I know of.”
“You looked like it, was all.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
“S'okay. You hungry?”
Shadow nodded. “I could eat,” he said.
“There's a good place just past the next set of lights. Good food. Cheap, too.”
Shadow pulled up in the parking lot. They got out of the car. He didn't bother to lock it, although he pocketed the keys. He pulled out some coins to buy a newspaper. “Can you afford to eat here?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said, raising her chin. “I can pay for myself.”
Shadow nodded. “Tell you what. I'll toss you for it,” he said. “Heads you pay for my dinner, tails, I pay for yours.”
“Let me see the coin first,” she said, suspiciously. “I had an uncle had a double-headed quarter.”
She inspected it, satisfied herself there was nothing strange about the quarter. Shadow placed the coin head-up on his thumb and cheated the toss, so it wobbled and looked like it was spinning, then he caught it and flipped it over onto the back of his left hand, and uncovered it with his right, in front of her.
“Tails,” she said, happily. “Dinner's on you.”
“Yup,” he said. “You can't win them all.”
