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Hi, I'm Oli.

Welcome to Oxford Online English!

In this lesson, you can learn how to make small talk in English.

You'll learn how small talk can help you to connect with others around you, and you'll

see examples of common small talk conversation topics in dialogues.

You'll also see useful questions and tips you can use to make small talk in English.

First, if you enjoy our videos on YouTube, why not visit our website: Oxford Online English

dot com.

Every video lesson has the full script, and many have quizzes which you can use to practise.

You can also take online lessons with one of our many great English teachers.

Let's get back to our topic: small talk.

What exactly is small talk, anyway?

Hey.

Hi!

How's life?

Pretty good.

You?

Not bad.

What've you been up to recently? ¿Qué has||||| Чем вы занимались в последнее время? Son zamanlarda neler yapıyorsun?

Oh, not much.

I've been busy at work.

What about you?

What's new? Yeni ne var?

Same, though I'm going away next month. То же самое, хотя я уезжаю в следующем месяце. Aynen, gerçi gelecek ay gidiyorum.

Really looking forward to it! Действительно с нетерпением жду этого! Gerçekten dört gözle bekliyorum!

In the dialogue, you saw some basic small talk.

Think about two questions: what is small talk?

Why is small talk important?

Small talk means that you make a simple conversation.

The topic isn't important.

When you make small talk, you don't give many details.

You might ask questions like ‘How's life?', ‘What have you been up to recently?' or

‘What's new with you?', but you don't expect a detailed answer.

Many people dislike small talk, or complain about it.

They say that small talk is boring, or that it's pointless.

Small talk might be boring, but it's not supposed to be interesting.

That's not its function. Это не его функция.

Small talk definitely *isn't* pointless. ||||inútil

So, what's it for?

Small talk is a way to show friendliness and interest. |||||||amizade|| |||||||amabilidad||

What's more, small talk shows that you and the person you're talking to are on the

same social level.

Think about it: managers don't usually make much small talk with their subordinates. ||||||||||||subordinados

Teachers in schools don't make a lot of small talk with their pupils.

Police officers don't make small talk with criminals they arrest.

Why not?

It's about hierarchy. ||Se trata de jerarquía. Речь идет об иерархии.

Managers are ‘above' their subordinates in the office hierarchy.

It's the same for teachers and schoolchildren, or police officers and criminals; they're ||||||os alunos|||||| ||||||escolares||||||

on different social levels.

If you meet a new colleague, or a new client, or you start a new class and you want to make

friends, making small talk sends a social signal.

It says, “We're on the same level, so we can be friendly with each other.”

Plus, small talk is a way to avoid silence in conversation, which makes many people uncomfortable.

So, what should you remember from this? Peki, bundan ne hatırlamalısınız?

When you make small talk, don't worry about the topic and don't worry about being interesting.

That's not the point of small talk.

Remember the three questions you saw before.

Can you remember them?

These are useful for making small talk.

Learn them and use them!

Next, let's look at some common small talk topics.

Are you from around here?

No, I grew up here, but I was born in Romania.

Really?

Are you from Bucharest? |||Bucareste |||¿Eres de Bucarest?

No, from Timișoara, in the west. ||Timișoara||| ||No, de Timișoara, en el oeste.|||

I have to admit I haven't heard of it! Daha önce duymadığımı itiraf etmeliyim!

That's OK, most people haven't. Sorun değil, çoğu insan yapmadı.

It's a big city in Romania, but it's not so well-known in other countries. Romanya'da büyük bir şehir, ancak diğer ülkelerde pek tanınmıyor.

What's it like? Nasıl bir şey?

It's pretty, but there are more opportunities here. Güzel ama burada daha fazla fırsat var.

I'm planning to move back there in a few years. Birkaç yıl içinde oraya geri taşınmayı planlıyorum.

What about you?

Are you local? Buralı mısınız?

Kind of. Bir çeşit.

I was born here, but when I was five my parents moved to Mexico, and I grew up there.

I moved back here after I graduated, but I haven't spent that much time here.

Wow, Mexico!

Do you go back often?

Yeah, once or twice a year. Evet, yılda bir ya da iki kez.

It's quite far, but I still have some family and a lot of friends there. ||longe||||||||||||

A common small talk topic is your hometown and the place you live, or the places you |||||||memleketiniz ve yaşadığınız yer|||||||||

have lived.

To start a conversation, you could ask: ‘Where are you from?'

‘Are you from around here?'

‘Are you local?'

If someone asked you these questions, how would you answer?

You could say: ‘I was born in …, but I've been living here for a while now.'

‘Yes, I was born here and I've lived here all my life'.

‘I'm originally from …' When you find out where someone is from, you |aslen||||||||||

can ask a follow-up question.

For example: ‘What's your hometown like?' Örneğin: "Memleketiniz nasıl bir yer?

With this question, it's more natural to use the name of the city, so say ‘What's

Hangzhou like?' Hangzhou nasıl?| Hangzhou| ¿Hangzhou cómo?|

‘What's Quito like?' and so on. |Quito nasıl bir yer?|||| |Quito|||| |¿Cómo es Quito?||||

If the person you're talking to is from another city or country, you could ask ‘Do

you go back often?'

Remember: with small talk, keep your answers short.

Give some information, but don't go into a lot of detail.

Also, try to find a balance between asking questions and giving information about yourself.

Next, what other common small talk topics can you think of?

Let's look at another!

Any weekend plans?

Not much, I'm planning to play tennis on Saturday, then maybe go out for dinner with

some friends.

You?

I'm having a quiet weekend. Sakin bir hafta sonu geçiriyorum.

That's nice sometimes.

Actually, I prefer to get outdoors. |||||ao ar livre

I do a lot of wild swimming, but it's too cold at the moment, so I'm going to be boring Çok fazla vahşi yüzme yapıyorum ama şu anda hava çok soğuk, bu yüzden sıkıcı olacağım

and catch up on some housework. и наверстать упущенное по дому. ve biraz ev işi yaparım.

Wild swimming? selvagem|

You mean, swimming in lakes and rivers and so on?

How did you get into that? Bu işe nasıl girdin?

I used to be in a swimming club, and one of my friends from there took me to a lake

where you can do wild swimming.

I started with short distances, and now I'm training for a 10k.

Ten kilometres?

That's crazy!

It's like anything. Her şey gibi.

If you work towards it slowly, it's quite possible. Если идти к этому медленно, то вполне возможно. Yavaş yavaş çalışırsanız, bu oldukça mümkündür.

Have you ever tried it?

No, I'm not big on swimming.

I've done some long-distance running, which I guess is similar in a way. |he hecho||larga|||||supongo|||||

I wouldn't know.

I hate running!

Talking about free time, hobbies and plans for your days off is a common small talk topic.

Look at three questions you heard in the dialogue.

Can you remember the missing words?

Small talk is generally informal, so it's usual to ask short questions, like ‘Any

weekend plans?'

rather than full questions, like ‘Do you have any plans for the weekend?'

If someone has an interesting or unusual hobby, you could ask ‘How did you get into that?' Birinin ilginç veya sıra dışı bir hobisi varsa, "Bu işe nasıl başladın?" diye sorabilirsiniz.

Could you explain what this means? Bunun ne anlama geldiğini açıklayabilir misiniz?

This question is asking: how did you become interested in this?

How did you start?

You might answer with something like: ‘I've been doing it for years.'

‘I got into it when I was a student.'

‘A friend took me one time, and I've been hooked ever since!' |||||||||viciado|| «Однажды друг взял меня с собой, и с тех пор я на крючке!» "Bir keresinde bir arkadaşım beni götürdü ve o zamandan beri bağımlısı oldum!

Finally, asking ‘have you ever tried it?' is a good way to continue the conversation.

If the other person says ‘yes', you have more to talk about!

Let's see one more common small talk topic.

How was your weekend?

It was nice.

My brother and his family came to stay. Kardeşim ve ailesi kalmaya geldi.

Oh yeah?

So you have nephews and nieces? |||sobrinhos||sobrinhas |||¿Entonces tienes sobrinos y sobrinas?||Sobrinas Demek yeğenlerin var?

Yeah, actually, I have ten. Evet, aslında on tane var.

Wow!

I had no idea. Hiçbir fikrim yoktu.

How many of you are there? Kaç kişisiniz?

Four.

Four boys; I'm the third.

You don't have kids, right? Senin çocuğun yok, değil mi?

No, not yet. Hayır, henüz değil.

You have one, or two?

Just one.

We'd like to have a second, but our apartment's so tiny it's difficult to think about right

now.

What about the rest of your family? Peki ya ailenin geri kalanı?

Do you have any brothers and sisters?

I have one brother and one sister, and one niece.

Nothing like your family. Senin ailen gibi değil.

It must be chaotic when you all get together. Hepiniz bir araya geldiğinizde kaotik olmalı.

Yeah, it is…

Fun, though!

First of all, be careful with asking people about their families if you're in another

country or another culture.

You don't want to be oversensitive, but in different cultures some questions might |||||excessivamente sensível||||||| |||||demasiado sensible|||||||

sound too personal.

For example, asking ‘Are you married?' or ‘Do you have children?' to someone

you just met might be uncomfortable.

It's difficult to say, because so much depends on context.

Just think about it and remember that in different cultures and countries people might have different

expectations!

Another tip: it's good to wait for the other person to mention their family before you

ask questions about it.

For example, in the dialogue, Oli mentioned his brother, and I then asked him questions

about the rest of his family.

Anyhow, let's see some useful small talk questions to ask about someone's family. De todos modos||||||||||||

In the dialogue, you heard: ‘You have nephews and nieces?'

‘How many of you are there?'

‘You don't have kids, right?'

‘What about the rest of your family?'

Do you know how you would answer these?

In small talk, keeping the conversation going is the most important thing.

It's more important than what you talk about, or what information you get from the other

person.

So, you might ask things which aren't genuine questions.

Actually, of these four questions, only one is a real request for information. ||||||||||pedido||

Do you know which one?

The second is a real question, where you're asking for information.

What about the others?

The first and third are questions to check information.

You use these when you think you know the answer already, and you're asking for confirmation.

You ask these questions to keep the conversation moving, not because you need information.

The fourth question signals a small change of topic. Четвертый вопрос сигнализирует о небольшом изменении темы.

In the dialogue, I used this question to switch from asking about Lori's immediate family ||||||||||||a família|| ||||||||||||de Lori||

to talking about her family more generally.

In fact, in the dialogue, this question was immediately followed by a second question:

‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?'

Now, let's talk about one more thing.

Are you a football fan?

Not really.

I do like watching basketball, though.

Really?

I love basketball, too!

Do you go to many games, or just watch on TV?

I go to, I guess, four or five games a season.

You?

About the same.

Did you see it last week?

That was a crazy result!

Yeah, I know, right?

Great game, though.

I couldn't sleep afterwards, I was so hyped up. |||||||excitado| |||||||emocionado/a| Я не мог спать после этого, я был настолько возбужден.

Do you think they have a chance of winning?

I'm not sure.

I don't want to get my hopes up. Я не хочу обнадеживаться.

I know what you mean.

Hey, do you want to watch the game together this Saturday?

I have some friends coming over to my house.

You could join us, and we'll have beer and snacks. |||||||||aperitivos

Oh, yeah, thanks!

That sounds great.

You heard before that small talk doesn't need to be interesting, and the most important

thing is to keep the conversation going.

That's true, but what's the end goal? Это правда, но какова конечная цель?

You can't make small talk forever.

In the end, you need to develop a deeper conversation. ||||||||mais profunda|

That doesn't mean you need to get into serious topics; when we say ‘deeper conversation'

we mean a conversation you're both interested in, and where you really want to hear what

the other person has to say.

The best way to do this is to find things in common or shared interests.

To do this, balance asking questions and giving information about yourself, and try to avoid

very short answers.

For example, in the dialogue, I asked Lori if she was a football fan. |||||||Lori||||||

She said that she wasn't.

Then, she added that she likes a different sport: basketball.

This gave us something new to talk about, and we found something we have in common.

If you just answer ‘not really', then it's difficult to move the conversation

forwards. hacia adelante

Finally, a question.

Expectations and etiquette around small talk can be very different in different parts of

the world.

Compare what you've heard in this lesson to how things are in your country and your

culture.

Do you have a similar approach to small talk, or are there differences?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments, and share your ideas with English learners

from all over the world!

Thanks for watching!

See you next time!