Why is our money green? Million Bazillion (2)
BRIDGET: Uh oh, unfortunately, I'm hearing now, it seems Serge's limousine is stuck in traffic, and he's running late.
(SFX - AUDIENCE GOING “Aawww”)
JED: Well, let's play an extra-long clip from the film, and maybe that'll give him time to arrive. Let's see, in this movie, he plays the role of criminal mastermind Nathaniel Pond, who you'll hear right at the top talking with his daughter Greta. Can we roll the clip?
(SFX - FILM PROJECTOR STARTING; BEEP BEEP)
NATHANIEL: Wait a minute, if I figured out a way to make a fake hundred-dollar bill, I'd be rich!
GRETA: Hang on, that's called counterfeiting, and-
NATHANIEL: But I'll need some help... (SFX - DIALING)
GRETA: Who are you calling?
DISCOMBOB VOICE: (phone quality) Yeah?
NATHANIEL: Put the old gang back together. I got us a job.
(MUSIC)
(SFX CROWD MURMURING ROUGHLY 40 PEOPLE)
NATHANIEL: Greta, meet the team.
GRETA: Wow, this is a lot of people.
NATHANIEL: Thanks for gathering on such short notice, everyone. It's been a long time. I know we all thought we were finished with this life, but when opportunity comes around, you gotta jump.
MABEL: What's the score, Nate?
NATHANIEL: Well, Mabel, we're gonna make a copy of this hundred dollar bill.
MABEL: (whistling) Funny money, eh? I'm in. When do we start drawing?
NATHANIEL: Hang on, it's harder than you think. Otherwise, everyone would do it.
GRETA: Oh, it's much, much, MUCH harder than you think, Dad.
(COOL HEISTY MUSIC)
GRETA: First of all, U.S. banknotes are printed on special paper. It's a blend of cotton and linen that not just anyone can get.
NATHANIEL: Smitty, you can get anything. Can you get us some of that paper?
SMITTY: Nope.
NATHANIEL: All right, we'll figure something out.
GRETA: And then there's the stuff hidden within a banknote. Did you know there's teenie tiny printing hidden in places like Ben Franklin's collar?
SMITTY: There is? Hand me that magnifying glass. There is! It says “The United States of America!”
NATHANIEL: All right, gang, who can write really small? Big Toni!.
BIG TONI: Yo.
NATHANIEL: You're on it.
BIG TONI: Oh...
GRETA: But it's not just writing small. There are also hidden pictures of Ben Franklin's face that you can only see by holding it up to the light.
DISCOMBOB VOICE: [Not on the phone] It's like a ghost!
GRETA: And, look at the number 100 in the lower right. It's written in ink that changes color depending on the angle you hold the bill.
NATHANIEL: Hmm… anyone got any ideas?
BILLY THE ACTUAL KID: I've got some magic markers. Maybe they'll work? If it's magic?
NATHANIEL: Excellent thinking, Billy The Actual Kid!
GRETA: It definitely won't work. Plus, check this out. Kill the lights.
(SFX - CHUNK OF A LARGE SWITCH BEING THROWN AND POWERING DOWN)
(SFX - FLICKERING FLUORESCENT BULB COMING TO LIFE)
ALL THE CHARACTERS: Ooh!!! Wow! What is that?
GRETA: When you look at a hundred dollar bill under ultraviolet light, you see a hidden strip that glows pink. Every denomination of bill from five dollars on up has one of these, and each glows a different color.
FANCY FRANNIE: She's right! (SFX - RUMMAGING IN POCKET) The five dollar bill has a blue glowy strip. The 10 is orange! 20's green! 50's yellow! It's yellow!! !
NATHANIEL: Calm down, Fancy Frannie. We're focusing on the big money. Thank you for the report, Greta. Is there anything else?
GRETA: Actually yeah, but we don't know what it is. The Treasury Department has included some secret anti-counterfeiting techniques that no one knows about. Even if you figure out everything else -- the special paper, inks, hidden images, yadda yadda -- you'll still be in the dark about how to make the perfect fake.
DISCOMBOB VOICE: [NOT ON PHONE] This is hard! Why'd they make it so hard?
GRETA: Because it's really important for people to be able to trust that the money they use is real. Otherwise, it'd be a lot harder to buy and sell things. And if there's a lot of fake money circulating or moving around the economy, that'll make real money less valuable. That's why the Secret Service is in charge of investigating cases of counterfeit cash.
NATHANIEL: But if we can pull this off, that's a big payday for us. We're not gonna give up just because it's hard or morally the wrong thing to do, are we team?
VOICES: No!
GRETA: Well, there's also prison.
(SFX - CRICKETS)
FORGERY BOT: I can't go back to prison.
NATHANIEL: Forgery Bot, you were never in prison. You got detention for faking a parent's signature. But I take your point. All right, gang, this one may not be worth the trouble. Too bad. We could've had one hundred dollars.
GRETA: Wait, but there are 38 of you. That would've just come out to $2.63 apiece.
MABEL: Wow, it would've been our biggest payout yet!
NATHANIEL: Well, try not dwell on it too long. We're under attack by aliens!
(SFX - FILM FLAPPING ON A PROJECTOR WHEEL)
BRIDGET: Wow, that's sure going to be an amazingly exciting movie when it comes out.
JED: Yes, and I've got some more good news for you. Serge Loonie is here!
(SFX - AUDIENCE CHEERING)
JED: He got out of his limousine and sprinted the last mile to get here. What a pro!
SERGE: (panting and gasping for breath)
JED: Serge, what was your favorite money-related thing you learned while making this movie?
SERGE: (wheezing)
BRIDGET: Looks like that run really did him in. Well, we have to take a commercial break. Everyone, give it up for Serge Loonie!
(SFX - AUDIENCE CHEERING)
--COMMERCIAL 2--
COMMERCIAL VOICE: You asked for it, and we answered. The mega blockbuster video game franchise of the millennium is back.
ECHOING VIDEO GAME VOICE: Virtual Branch Manager 4!
COMMERCIAL KID: Ooh! What's new this time?
COMMERCIAL VOICE: We're glad you asked! In VBM 3, we took you into virtual reality to get the feel of building and running your own bank.
COMMERCIAL KID: [playing video game] These pleather armchairs look so real!
COMMERCIAL VOICE: Now, in VBM 4, you're banking... for the government! You'll lead a branch of the Federal Reserve, which is the central bank of the United States. Here are just some of the things you'll be responsible for:
ECHOING VIDEO GAME VOICE: Taking old, worn out bills and destroying them -- then ordering new ones to be made!
COMMERCIAL VOICE: Neat!
ECHOING VIDEO GAME VOICE: Taking deposits from and making loans to regular banks.
COMMERCIAL VOICE: Whoa! It's like a bank for banks!
ECHOING VIDEO GAME VOICE Ensuring the financial stability of the nation.
COMMERCIAL VOICE: That sounds important! It's fun for the whole family!
COMMERCIAL KID 1: Mom, you're hogging the game!
KID 2: When's it going to be our turn?
OVERLY CHEERY MOM: Not now. I'm raising interest rates! Woo hoo!
COMMERCIAL VOICE: Don't miss out. Order Virtual Branch Manager 4 today!
INTERSTITIAL
JED: Okay everyone...this has been a lot of fun. Let's hear it for you, our live studio audience!
[APPLAUSE]
BRIDGET & JED: Yeah, you guys rock, you're the best! This has been awesome, [etc., have us talking over the applause]
BRIDGET: Before we go, we wanted to leave you with a few final thoughts…
JED: First, money is more than a way to buy things...a lot of care and thought goes into designing every bill. To make sure it's secure. And to make it beautiful. Each bill is a work of art.
BRIDGET: Art that's also meant to represent the country in which it's used. And it's worth thinking about whether the money art we carry around with us is doing the best job of representing us and the things we're proud of.
JED: Either way, the next time you come across a bill...look at it. And I mean, really take a good long look at it. You might notice something you've never seen before.
PICKUP BRIDGET: I mean, just seeing a dollar bill in your hand is practically new territory, amirite?
PICKUP JED: Hi-yo! Zinger! You got me. All right, good night, everyone!
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE CROSS FADES WITH THEME MUSIC?]
--Theme Music/Close--
BRIDGET: Thanks for listening to Million Bazillion -- where we help dollars make more sense… In our next episode, we're answering a question about the stock market.
JED: Ooh, that'll be a good one. If you have a money problem you want to share, a money skill you want to learn, or a question you want answered, email us at Marketplace dot org slash million.
BRIDGET: Did you know you can get new episodes of Million Bazillion delivered right to your email inbox when you sign up for our brand new newsletter at Marketplace dot org slash bonus? You'll get extras like a tip sheet and a comic about that day's episode. And details about how to order a Million Bazillion T-shirt! That's Marketplace dot org slash BONUS.
JED: We had help making and voicing this episode. We owe a big Thank You to: Kimberly Adams, Sabri Ben Achour, Chris Julin, Melody Perkins, Nova Safo, Daniel Shin…
BRIDGET: And Lianna Squiallace, Juan Carlos Torrado, Catherine Winter, Charlie, Eliot Eloise, Nzoi, and Violet.
JED: Million Bazillion is brought to you by Marketplace in collaboration with Brains On! And American Public Media.
I'm Jed Kim, your co-host…
BRIDGET: I'm your other co-host Bridget Bodnar. I'm also the senior producer of this podcast.
Marissa Cabrera is our producer.
Sanden Totten is our editor.
JED: Chris Julin is our sound designer.
Our theme music was created by Wonderly.
This episode was mixed by Bekah Wineman.
BRIDGET: Our digital team includes Erica Phillips and Tony Wagner.
Sitara Nieves is the Executive Director of On Demand at Marketplace.
JED: And special thanks to the people who provided the startup funding for Million Bazillion, and who continue to help keep us going: The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance, supporting Marketplace's work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.
BRIDGET: To all the grown-ups listening right now – we hope that you and the kids in your life are having some good conversations about money thanks to Million Bazillion. We created this podcast to help kids get an early start on learning about the economy – and to keep it going, we're counting on your support. Donate today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for chipping in to make our work possible.
