Jill Bolte Taylor: STROKE of insight Jill Bolte Taylor: STROKE of insight Jill Bolte Taylor: της διορατικότητας Jill Bolte Taylor: GOLPE de perspicacia Jill Bolte Taylor : Un coup de pouce pour comprendre Jill Bolte Taylor: COLPO d'intuito ジル・ボルテ・テイラー洞察の一撃 Jill Bolte Taylor: 통찰력의 스트로크 Jill Bolte Taylor: Įžvalgos smūgis Jill Bolte Taylor: STROKE of insight Jill Bolte Taylor: Pancada de visão Джилл Болт Тейлор: УДАР озарения Jill Bolte Taylor: İçgörü darbesi Джилл Болт Тейлор: Штрих до осяяння 吉尔-博尔特-泰勒一针见血的洞察力 吉爾·博爾特·泰勒：洞察力的一擊

I grew up to study the brain because I have a brother who has been diagnosed with a brain disorder: schizophrenia. |||||||||لدي|||||||||||

And as a sister and later, as a scientist, I wanted to understand, why is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect them to my reality, and I can make my dreams come true? En tant que sœur et, plus tard, en tant que scientifique, j'ai voulu comprendre pourquoi je pouvais prendre mes rêves, les relier à ma réalité et faire en sorte qu'ils deviennent réalité. What is it about my brother’s brain and his schizophrenia that he cannot connect his dreams to a common and shared reality, so they instead become delusion? |||||||||精神分裂症|||||||||||||||||妄想 |||||||||||||||||||||||||werden|Wahn Pourquoi le cerveau de mon frère et sa schizophrénie l'empêchent-ils de relier ses rêves à une réalité commune et partagée, si bien qu'ils se transforment en délire ? So I dedicated my career to research into the severe mental illnesses. And I moved from my home state of Indiana to Boston, where I was working in the lab of Dr. Francine Benes, in the Harvard Department of Psychiatry. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||精神病学 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||Psychiatrie And in the lab, we were asking the question, "What are the biological differences between the brains of individuals who would be diagnosed as normal control, as compared with the brains of individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?" ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||分裂情感障碍||双相（1）| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||Schizophrenie|||| So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry of the brain: which cells are communicating with which cells, with which chemicals, and then in what quantities of those chemicals? ||||||微电路||||||||||||||||||||| Nous avons donc essentiellement cartographié le microcircuit du cerveau : quelles cellules communiquent avec quelles cellules, avec quelles substances chimiques, et en quelles quantités ? So there was a lot of meaning in my life because I was performing this type of research during the day. Ma vie avait donc beaucoup de sens parce que je faisais ce type de recherche pendant la journée. But then in the evenings and on the weekends, I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. |||||||||||||Advokat|||||||| Les soirs et les week-ends, je voyageais pour défendre les intérêts de la NAMI, l'Alliance nationale pour les maladies mentales. But on the morning of December 10, 1996, I woke up to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own. ||||||||||||||||störung||| A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain. And in the course of four hours, I watched my brain completely deteriorate in its ability to process all information. ||||||||||||deteriorieren||||||| И в течение четырех часов я наблюдал, как мой мозг полностью утрачивает способность обрабатывать любую информацию. On the morning of the hemorrhage, I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life. |||||Hämorrhage||||||||||||| I essentially became an infant in a woman’s body. ||||Säugling|||| If you’ve ever seen a human brain, it’s obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another. And I have brought for you a real human brain. So this is a real human brain. This is the front of the brain, the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down, and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head. Voici l'avant du cerveau, l'arrière du cerveau avec la moelle épinière qui pend, et voici comment ils seraient positionnés à l'intérieur de ma tête. And when you look at the brain, it’s obvious that the two cerebral cortices are completely separate from one another. ||||||||||||zerebral|Kortexe|||||| For those of you who understand computers, our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor, while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor. |diejenigen|||||||||||||||||||||| Pour ceux d'entre vous qui comprennent les ordinateurs, notre hémisphère droit fonctionne comme un processeur parallèle, tandis que notre hémisphère gauche fonctionne comme un processeur sériel. The two hemispheres do communicate with one another through the corpus collosum, which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers. But other than that, the two hemispheres are completely separate. Mais à part cela, les deux hémisphères sont complètement séparés. Because they process information differently, each of our hemispheres think about different things, they care about different things, and, dare I say, they have very different personalities. Excuse me. Thank you. It’s been a joy. Assistant: It has been. Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment. It’s all about "right here, right now." Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies. ||||||||||kinesthetisch|||||| Notre hémisphère droit pense en images et apprend de manière kinesthésique par le mouvement de notre corps. Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously through all of our sensory systems and then it explodes into this enormous collage of what this present moment looks like, what this present moment smells like and tastes like, what it feels like and what it sounds like. L'information, sous forme d'énergie, afflue simultanément à travers tous nos systèmes sensoriels et explose ensuite en un énorme collage de ce à quoi ressemble le moment présent, de ce qu'il sent et goûte, de ce qu'il ressent et de ce qu'il entend. I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me through the consciousness of my right hemisphere. Je suis un être énergétique connecté à l'énergie qui m'entoure grâce à la conscience de mon hémisphère droit. We are energy-beings connected to one another through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family. ||||||||||Bewusstsein|||||||| Nous sommes des êtres d'énergie reliés les uns aux autres par la conscience de nos hémisphères droits en tant que famille humaine. Мы энергетические существа, связанные друг с другом сознанием правого полушария как одна человеческая семья. And right here, right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet, here to make the world a better place. And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful. My left hemisphere -- our left hemisphere -- is a very different place. Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically. Our left hemisphere is all about the past and it’s all about the future. Our left hemisphere is designed to take that enormous collage of the present moment and start picking out details, details and more details about those details. Notre hémisphère gauche est conçu pour prendre cet énorme collage du moment présent et commencer à en extraire des détails, des détails et encore des détails. It then categorizes and organizes all that information, associates it with everything in the past we’ve ever learned, and projects into the future all of our possibilities. And our left hemisphere thinks in language. It’s that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my internal world to my external world. C'est cette conversation permanente qui me relie à mon monde intérieur et à mon monde extérieur. It’s that little voice that says to me, "Hey, you gotta remember to pick up bananas on your way home. I need them in the morning." It’s that calculating intelligence that reminds me when I have to do my laundry. But perhaps most important, it’s that little voice that says to me, "I am. I am." And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am," I become separate. И как только мое левое полушарие говорит мне: «Я есть», я отделяюсь. I become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow around me and separate from you. And this was the portion of my brain that I lost on the morning of my stroke. On the morning of the stroke, I woke up to a pounding pain behind my left eye. |||||||||||pochen||||| Утром в день инсульта я проснулся от пульсирующей боли за левым глазом. And it was the kind of pain -- caustic pain -- that you get when you bite into ice cream. |||||||stechender||||||du|||| And it just gripped me -- and then it released me. |||packte|||||| And then it just gripped me -- and then it released me. And it was very unusual for me to ever experience any kind of pain, so I thought, "OK, I’ll just start my normal routine." So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider, which is a full-body, full-exercise machine. ||||||||||Trainer|||||||| Je me suis donc levée et j'ai sauté sur mon cardio glider, qui est un appareil d'exercice complet pour tout le corps. And I’m jamming away on this thing, and I’m realizing that my hands look like primitive claws grasping onto the bar. ||jammen|||||||||||||||||| Je suis en train de taper sur ce truc et je me rends compte que mes mains ressemblent à des griffes primitives qui s'agrippent à la barre. And I thought, "That’s very peculiar." |||||seltsam And I looked down at my body and I thought, "Whoa, I’m a weird-looking thing." And it was as though my consciousness had shifted away from my normal perception of reality, where I’m the person on the machine having the experience, to some esoteric space where I’m witnessing myself having this experience. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||zeuge|||| And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was just getting worse. |||||seltsam||||||| So I get off the machine, and I’m walking across my living room floor, and I realize that everything inside of my body has slowed way down. Je sors donc de la machine, je marche sur le sol de mon salon et je me rends compte que tout ce qui se passe dans mon corps s'est considérablement ralenti. And every step is very rigid and very deliberate. |||||steif|||absichtlich There’s no fluidity to my pace, and there’s this constriction in my area of perceptions, so I’m just focused on internal systems. ||Flüssigkeit|||Tempo|||||||||||||||| Il n'y a pas de fluidité dans mon rythme, et il y a une constriction dans ma zone de perception, donc je me concentre sur les systèmes internes. And I’m standing in my bathroom getting ready to step into the shower, and I could actually hear the dialogue inside of my body. I heard a little voice saying, "OK. You muscles, you gotta contract. You muscles, you relax." And then I lost my balance, and I’m propped up against the wall. And I look down at my arm and I realize that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body. I can’t define where I begin and where I end, because the atoms and the molecules of my arm blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall. |||||||||||||||||||verschmolzen|||||||| Je ne peux pas définir où je commence et où je finis, parce que les atomes et les molécules de mon bras se sont mélangés aux atomes et aux molécules du mur. And all I could detect was this energy -- energy. And I’m asking myself, "What is wrong with me? What is going on?" And in that moment, my brain chatter -- my left hemisphere brain chatter -- went totally silent. ||||||Gespräch|||||||| Just like someone took a remote control and pushed the mute button. Total silence. And at first I was shocked to find myself inside of a silent mind. But then I was immediately captivated by the magnificence of the energy around me. ||||sofort|fasciniert|||Pracht||||| And because I could no longer identify the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive. ||||||||||||||||ausgedehnt I felt at one with all the energy that was, and it was beautiful there. Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back online, and it says to me, "Hey! We got a problem! We got a problem! |||Problem We gotta get some help." And I’m going, "Ahh! I got a problem. I got a problem." So it’s like, "OK. OK. I got a problem." But then I immediately drifted right back out into the consciousness -- and I affectionately refer to this space as La La Land. ||||||||||Bewusstsein|||liebevoll|||||||| Mais j'ai immédiatement replongé dans la conscience - et j'appelle affectueusement cet espace "La La Land". But it was beautiful there. Imagine what it would be like to be totally disconnected from your brain chatter that connects you to the external world. ||||||||||||Gehirn|||||||äußeren| So here I am in this space, and my job -- and any stress related to my job -- it was gone. And I felt lighter in my body. And imagine all of the relationships in the external world and any stressors related to any of those -- they were gone. ||||||||||||Stressoren|||||||| And I felt this sense of peacefulness. And imagine what it would feel like to lose 37 years of emotional baggage! (Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria -- euphoria. It was beautiful. And then, again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says, "Hey! You’ve got to pay attention. We’ve got to get help." And I’m thinking, "I got to get help. I gotta focus." So I get out of the shower and I mechanically dress and I’m walking around my apartment, and I’m thinking, "I gotta get to work. I gotta get to work. Can I drive? Can I drive?" And in that moment my right arm went totally paralyzed by my side. |||||||||lähmte||| Then I realized, "Oh my gosh! |||||mein Gott I’m having a stroke! I’m having a stroke!" And the next thing my brain says to me is, "Wow! This is so cool." (Laughter) "This is so cool! How many brain scientists have the opportunity to study their own brain from the inside out?" (Laughter) And then it crosses my mind, "But I’m a very busy woman!" (Laughter) "I don’t have time for a stroke!" So I’m like, "OK, I can’t stop the stroke from happening, so I’ll do this for a week or two, and then I’ll get back to my routine. Je me suis donc dit : "D'accord, je ne peux pas empêcher l'attaque de se produire, alors je vais faire ça pendant une semaine ou deux, puis je reprendrai ma routine. OK. So I gotta call help. I gotta call work." Je dois appeler le travail." I couldn’t remember the number at work, so I remembered, in my office I had a business card with my number on it. So I go into my business room, I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards. And I’m looking at the card on top and even though I could see clearly in my mind’s eye what my business card looked like, I couldn’t tell if this was my card or not, because all I could see were pixels. Je regarde la carte du dessus et même si je voyais clairement dans mon esprit à quoi ressemblait ma carte de visite, je ne pouvais pas dire si c'était ma carte ou non, parce que tout ce que je voyais, c'était des pixels. And the pixels of the words blended with the pixels of the background and the pixels of the symbols, and I just couldn’t tell. ||||||verschmolzen||||||||||||||||| And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity. And in that moment, I would be able to reattach to normal reality and I could tell that’s not the card ... that’s not the card ... that’s not the card. It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down inside of that stack of cards. Il m'a fallu 45 minutes pour descendre d'un pouce à l'intérieur de cette pile de cartes. In the meantime, for 45 minutes, the hemorrhage is getting bigger in my left hemisphere. I do not understand numbers, I do not understand the telephone, but it’s the only plan I have. So I take the phone pad and I put it right here. I take the business card, I put it right here, and I’m matching the shape of the squiggles on the card to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||lines|||| But then I would drift back out into La La Land, and not remember when I came back if I’d already dialed those numbers. Но потом я уплывал обратно в Ла-Ла Ленд и не помнил, когда вернулся, набрал ли я уже эти номера. So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed them, so that as I would come back to normal reality, I’d be able to tell, "Yes, I’ve already dialed that number." Je devais donc manier mon bras paralysé comme un moignon et recouvrir les numéros au fur et à mesure que j'avançais, afin de pouvoir dire, lorsque je reviendrais à la réalité normale, "Oui, j'ai déjà composé ce numéro". Eventually, the whole number gets dialed and I’m listening to the phone, and my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me, "Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter) And I think to myself, "Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!" And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him: "This is Jill! I need help!" And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo." I’m thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever." So I couldn’t know -- I didn’t know that I couldn’t speak or understand language until I tried. Je ne pouvais donc pas savoir - je ne savais pas que je ne pouvais pas parler ou comprendre la langue avant d'avoir essayé. So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help. And a little while later, I am riding in an ambulance from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital. And I curl up into a little fetal ball. Et je me recroqueville en boule fœtale. And just like a balloon with the last bit of air, just, just right out of the balloon, I just felt my energy lift and just -- I felt my spirit surrender. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||give in Et tout comme un ballon avec le dernier morceau d'air, juste, juste en dehors du ballon, j'ai senti mon énergie s'élever et juste -- j'ai senti mon esprit s'abandonner. And in that moment, I knew that I was no longer the choreographer of my life. À ce moment-là, j'ai compris que je n'étais plus le chorégraphe de ma vie. And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a second chance at life, or this was perhaps my moment of transition. When I woke later that afternoon, I was shocked to discover that I was still alive. When I felt my spirit surrender, I said goodbye to my life. Lorsque j'ai senti mon esprit s'abandonner, j'ai dit adieu à ma vie. And my mind was now suspended between two very opposite planes of reality. Et mon esprit était maintenant suspendu entre deux plans de réalité très opposés. Stimulation coming in through my sensory systems felt like pure pain. Les stimulations qui pénètrent dans mes systèmes sensoriels ressemblent à de la douleur pure. Light burned my brain like wildfire, and sounds were so loud and chaotic that I could not pick a voice out from the background noise, and I just wanted to escape. La lumière brûlait mon cerveau comme une traînée de poudre, les sons étaient si forts et si chaotiques que je n'arrivais pas à distinguer une voix du bruit de fond, et j'avais juste envie de m'échapper. Because I could not identify the position of my body in space, I felt enormous and expansive, like a genie just liberated from her bottle. And my spirit soared free, like a great whale gliding through the sea of silent euphoria. Et mon esprit s'est libéré, comme une grande baleine glissant dans la mer de l'euphorie silencieuse. Nirvana. I found Nirvana. J'ai trouvé le Nirvana. And I remember thinking, there’s no way I would ever be able to squeeze the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body. И я помню, как думал, что никогда не смогу втиснуть всю свою необъятность обратно в это маленькое тельце. But then I realized, "But I’m still alive! I’m still alive, and I have found Nirvana. And if I have found Nirvana and I’m still alive, then everyone who is alive can find Nirvana." And I pictured a world filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people who knew that they could come to this space at any time. Et j'ai imaginé un monde rempli de personnes belles, paisibles, compatissantes et aimantes qui savaient qu'elles pouvaient venir dans cet espace à tout moment. And that they could purposely choose to step to the right of their left hemispheres and find this peace. Et qu'ils pouvaient choisir délibérément de se mettre à droite de leur hémisphère gauche et de trouver cette paix. И что они могли намеренно сделать шаг вправо от своего левого полушария и обрести этот покой. And then I realized what a tremendous gift this experience could be, what a stroke of insight this could be to how we live our lives. C'est alors que j'ai réalisé à quel point cette expérience pouvait être un cadeau extraordinaire, à quel point elle pouvait nous éclairer sur la façon dont nous vivons notre vie. И тогда я понял, каким огромным подарком может быть этот опыт, каким прозрением это может быть для того, как мы проживаем свою жизнь. And it motivated me to recover. Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the surgeons went in and they removed a blood clot the size of a golf ball that was pushing on my language centers. Deux semaines et demie après l'hémorragie, les chirurgiens sont intervenus et ont retiré un caillot de sang de la taille d'une balle de golf qui poussait sur mes centres linguistiques. Here I am with my mama, who is a true angel in my life. It took me eight years to completely recover. So who are we? We are the life-force power of the universe, with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds. |||||||||||manual skill|||| Nous sommes la force vitale de l'univers, dotés d'une dextérité manuelle et de deux esprits cognitifs. And we have the power to choose, moment by moment, who and how we want to be in the world. Right here, right now, I can step into the consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are. Ici et maintenant, je peux entrer dans la conscience de mon hémisphère droit, là où nous sommes. I am the life-force power of the universe. I am the life-force power of the 50 trillion beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form, at one with all that is. Je suis la force vitale des 50 000 milliards de magnifiques génies moléculaires qui composent ma forme, ne faisant qu'un avec tout ce qui est. Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere, where I become a single individual, a solid. Separate from the flow, separate from you. Отдельно от потока, отдельно от вас. I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor: intellectual, neuroanatomist. Je suis le Dr Jill Bolte Taylor : intellectuelle, neuroanatomiste. These are the "we" inside of me. Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when? I believe that the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be. And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.