The Rise Of Weak Men (1)
What is it to be a man's man today?
I mean, I grew up wanting to be a man's man.
That's what you wanted to be, but today it's toxic masculinity, right?
You're hearing it everywhere.
People are being canceled for being a man's man.
But the reality of it is, 1944, a man's man was storming the beaches of Normandy and they
knew most of them were going to lose their lives, but they're like, nope, I'm doing this
because this is what men are supposed to do.
Today, people are storming the beaches of their couch to play Call of Duty.
40, 50 years ago, without social media, we had to go learn how to pick up girls and flirt
and have lines and be rejected.
Today, you just got to swipe right.
Years ago, you had to learn how to hunt to get your food.
Today, you just call Uber Eats.
Lots changed.
Are men becoming pansies?
Are they becoming soft?
Are we becoming passive, like, oh my gosh, betas?
Is that what's happening?
I got a bunch of data I want to talk to you about that has to do with what we bench-pressed
30 years ago versus today, squat, our grip strength, a bunch of different things that
are influencing men to become softer.
And for some of you that are watching this that completely disagree with my message,
I would love to have you watch this message and post your commentary below at the end
of the video.
Stick around until the very end, I got a quiz for you to take to know exactly what you're
driven by, but it's important for us to look at some of the data to know if this is just
gibberish or how are men really viewed and what kind of a life men live today.
Before we get into it, I just want to give you some stats on is there any relevance in
men really struggling today?
Like, they can't find themselves.
Are they really becoming softer or not?
Scott Galloway wrote an article, the title was The Most Dangerous Person in the World
is a Young Man Who's Broke and Alone.
Let me read some of the statistics that he has in this article.
Men are more likely to use almost all types of illicit drugs at a higher rate than women,
thus, their higher prevalence of emergency room visits and inpatient substance abuse
treatment.
93% of prison inmates are male, as are 98% of all death row inmates.
Men are dramatically more likely to be homeless and for longer periods of time.
Men now account for 41% of college enrollments, down from 60% in 1970.
Men are twice as likely to overdose, three and a half times more likely to commit suicide,
and more than nine times more likely to be incarcerated.
A recent study revealed that nine out of ten mass violent attackers were male, and more
than two thirds of them were under the age of 35.
Once again, the most dangerous person in the world is a broke and alone young male.
Scott Galloway recommends three things.
Start making money.
We are living in a capitalist society.
Get super strong.
You want to be fit.
You want to lift heavy weights and run long distances in your mind and in the gym.
And last but not least, get out there.
Commit to meeting people.
And quite frankly, try having sex.
So interesting three points he makes, right?
Start making money today.
Get super strong.
And finally, get out there and commit to meeting people.
But are we not stronger today than we were before?
Let's take a look at some data to see if men are stronger today than maybe 20 or 30 years
ago.
There's three things I want to look at.
I want to look at our bench press to before, squat, as well as your grip strength.
They say your grip strength is a strong predicator of mortality in later life.
So are we stronger today or before?
Here's what the numbers tell us.
So they surveyed 1800 lifters, ages 20 to 39, to see what the average bench press was
30 years ago versus today.
And here's what they came up with.
What the average man could bench press 30 years ago versus today.
30 years ago was 240 pounds versus today, 187 pounds.
Squat was 277 versus today, 225.
So when you look at this data, how do you process it?
Grip strength, bench, squat, like, why are we looking at this data?
Maybe, just maybe, they're trying to get women to become stronger and men to become weaker.
Maybe.
Maybe I'm wrong.
I will tell you, at our vault conference we had with a couple thousand people there, business
owners, entrepreneurs, I challenged everybody to go do a certain questionnaire the first
night and the next day come and share their breakthrough with everybody.
While I'm going through everyone, a lady sitting right here, like seven rows right there, she
gets up and she says, Patrick, I have to tell you my breakthrough last night.
I said, what is it?
She said, for the last 20 years, all I've been trying to do is compete against men to
prove that I can make as much money as they make.
I'm strong.
I don't need them.
I'm independent.
I run a very successful salon.
I do very well for myself.
Everybody that works with me makes great money.
I'm very, very successful right now, to my friends, to my peers.
I said, okay, and where are you going with this?
What's wrong with that?
She said, the breakthrough I have yesterday is men are not the enemy.
I want a husband.
I want to get married.
I want to have a family.
How interesting is that, right?
The person she wanted to beat the entire time, now she wants to marry.
How many endless videos can we see with women in their 60s, who bought into the feminist
movement to make men and women equal, are sitting there saying, I regret making that
decision because I'm single, never been married, don't have any kids, and I'm alone.
And I wish I would have married men.
I wish I would have had kids because I wouldn't have been alone today.
Next point is a lack of male role models in a boy's life, or a man's life.
So if you look at some data here, in 2019, some 15 million children in the United States
were living with a single mother.
That's about five times more than those living with a single father.
As divorce rates rise, and family courts continue to favor mothers, the amount of boys living
without a dad will continue to grow.
So why is this so important?
There are certain things I can tell my boys, that my wife can't tell them.
Period.
I can go tell my boys, we're going outside and we're playing, they have to listen to
it.
I can go tell my boys, you have to read 20 pages a day.
They may tell mom, mom, I'm good, I don't need to read today, I don't need to do this,
I don't need to do that.
There's just certain things my dad could have told me that my mom couldn't tell me.
There's a very, very big value that men have in a boy's life.
But the more divorces we get, and the more fatherless homes that we have, men don't know
what it is to be a man's man.
As a matter of fact, let's look at a completely different angle.
Most kids who go to school, most teachers are women.
Most teachers are not men.
So I just recently had my kids watch Captain, the documentary about Derek Jeter, and there's
a scene in this documentary where Derek Jeter is drafted by the Yankees, his dream becomes
a reality, always wanted to be a shortstop for them because his dad was a shortstop.
He goes, but he's not doing well.
He's making errors, he's making mistakes, he's doing all this stuff, and he's having
anxiety attacks, he's depressed almost, and he makes a phone call to his house.
Mom's talking to Derek, and mom says, son, why don't you just come home?
The father says, when I heard my wife saying this to Jeter, he says, I told her, don't
tell him that.
He can't know that's an option.
So now, let's replay this.
Say the father's not in the picture.
Say the mom's able to convince Derek Jeter to come home because no mother wants to see
their son suffer.
And she's witnessing her son, Derek, suffer.
But the father says, that's what builds character.
Let him go through it.
If that doesn't happen, you don't have a 5-time World Series champion, a few hundred million
dollars, one of the greatest Yankees of all time, 3,400 hits.
If that simple call by the father wasn't made, you and I may not know who Derek Jeter is.
So what's the point here?
So maybe men today need stronger role models to challenge them and to show them, it is
okay to go through challenges.
It is okay to have to fight through.
This is a part of becoming a man's man, and it's natural.
Next point is the walking on eggshells society that we're living in today.
And what do I mean by walking on eggshells?
People are afraid of offending today, okay?
So when you're afraid of offending, you don't want to share your opinion.
And the way people learn who you really are is by sharing your opinion and feelings about
different issues.
Now, in our family, I talk about four things with my boys.
We lead, we respect, we improve, we love.
Respect.
Let's talk about that.
If you constantly spend your life disrespecting people, you're eventually going to be alone
and not successful in business, because it doesn't work out if you want to disrespect
everybody.
People are not going to stick around in a work environment if you're disrespecting them.
People are not going to be with you friendship-wise if you're constantly disrespecting them and
judging them.
And quite frankly, you're going to be by yourself.
Now, offending is a different story.
Today, they're trying very, very hard to cause men to be careful with their thoughts and
what they say.
And God forbid you say something that's going to offend somebody, you're walking on eggshells.
I don't know many leaders that I call leaders, who walk on eggshells, that are not comfortable
sharing their thoughts on different issues.
They share their thoughts, but they get better at their soft skills to know how to deliver
their messages better.
That's something you're going to get better at for the rest of your life.
But walking on eggshells in society where you're sitting there by yourself, not really
sharing your thoughts, it's as if you don't exist.
You're non-existent.
And that's just not what men's men do.
The next thing I want to talk to you about is competition.
Society wants to convince you that competition is not healthy for you.
By the way, the same people that are selling you that are those who lost, who don't know
how to handle it.
The reality of it is, socialist boys have limited options.
Capitalist men have unlimited options in every aspect of their life.
Where they live, where they travel to, where they eat, who they date, anything you want.
They have an unlimited supply of options and unfortunately, those who don't compete don't
like the fact that you have more options.
You know, when I was 14 years old, I was playing in this basketball association for troubled
teenagers.
I'm in a league with Mara Sabatrucha, with Black Diamonds, with you know, the Sureños,
18, with the Blood Crip, all these guys.
And one day, we're in this tournament, and only five of our players showed up and we
played against a team that had a full lineup, and we lost by 104 points.