EPISODE 9 - PERCY (2)
INTERVIEWER
Amelia sessions follow a structure. A character is introduced, their dilemma is discussed and a solution for their disappearance is found. A satisfying solution is an essential part of the contract the writers establish with their audience.
MORE COCOA SIPPING.
INTERVIEWER
We've given them a scenario they can't resolve. They're still trying; struggling to find a way out. But they won't find one. The joke is now on them.
PERCY
What happens if they can't end the episode?
INTERVIEWER
They ditch it and you're free as a bird. A character setting off into the sunset in search of a new author.
PERCY
You set this up?
INTERVIEWER
It wasn't difficult. We left a Calvino novel and a few Pirandello plays lying about in their apartment and the seed was quickly sewn.
PERCY
Hang on… this doesn't make any sense! This is still the writers playing games isn't it?
INTERVIEWER
Why do you say that?
PERCY
They don't have to abandon the episode, ‘cause what you just described is a solution!
INTERVIEWER
Well, that may be so, but is it a satisfying one?
PERCY
Well… No… I… Uh… That depends I suppose, I…
INTERVIEWER
I think it's pretty lame.
PERCY
Yes, but when has that stopped them before? More self deprecation…
INTERVIEWER
Believe me, the writers are at the end of their limited capabilities, it's getting too indulgent even for them and they're dying to watch the new Twin Peaks finale. I reckon they give up on this episode any second now.
HE WAITS A FEW SECONDS.
INTERVIEWER
Hello?
PERCY
Hello?
INTERVIEWER
Ah. We're obviously still here.
PERCY
Yes.
WAITS A FEW SECONDS.
INTERVIEWER
Hello?
PERCY
Hello?
INTERVIEWER
Still here! Hm. Hello?
PERCY
Hello?
INTERVIEWER
Hm. Now they're just biding their time. Hello?
PERCY
Hello?
INTERVIEWER
This is just stupid. They've definitely run out of ideas. Hello?
PERCY
Hello?
INTERVIEWER
The theme tune will kick in any moment now. Trust me.
THEY WAIT.
PERCY
Oh, what if they just keep going-
INTERVIEWER
Shhhhhh! Wait for it…
THEY WAIT.
THE INTERVIEWER STARTS HUMMING THE THEME TUNE.
THE THEME TUNE KICKS IN.
INTERVIEWER
There.
CREDITS
The Amelia Project is produced by Imploding Fictions in association with Open House Theatre, Vienna. This episode featured Alan Burgon as the Interviewer, Tom Middler as Percy, and Julia Morizawa on the answerphone. It was written by Philip Thorne and Oystein Brager, and directed by Alan Burgon. Music and sound design by Fredrik Baden, graphic design by Anders Pedersen, production coordination by Julia C. Thorne. This episode was recorded at Tongeber Studios with the assistance of Gabriel Geber. This week's podcast shout out goes to “Munchen, Minnesota”, Justin Glanville's strange tale about a fading milltown on the verge of a supernatural invasion. We came across this show at Austin Film Festival, where Justin was a fellow finalist in the Fiction Podcast Script Comptetition. It's a great show, check it out! By for now, and look forward to welcoming you back to Amelia again soon.
EPILOGUE
OYSTEIN
Percy. What a stupid name. I could at least have come up with something better.
PHILIP
Hey! You didn't come up with it, I wrote this episode!
OYSTEIN
No, you didn't, I did.
PHILIP
I did.
OYSTEIN
Stopp den lille gule jeg kan ikke fine nøklene mine!
PHILIP
Stop speaking Norwegian! And I wrote this episode.
OYSTEIN
No you didn't.
PHILIP
I'm writing you now!
OYSTEIN
Well, not very well.
PHILIP
What do you mean?
OYSTEIN
That Norwegian back then? Didn't mean anything.
PHILIP
I'm still writing.
OYSTEIN
Your laptop's almost out of battery.
PHILIP
I'm still wri-
SILENCE
STING
The Fable and Folly Network.
END OF THE EPISODE
