02. Dear Hank & John. 002 - It's a Humor Podcast! Part 2/5.
• [Question 4]
John: Next question from Kayla, "Dear John and Hank, my two year old son, Liam, told me that if he ever had a brother, we should name him Hankjohn. Do you approve of this name and if not, what would you suggest?" First off, Kayla, I am flattered, please tell your two year old son Liam that we are delighted that he thinks so highly of us that he would name his brother Hankjohn. However, Liam, if I may speak to you directly for a moment, in what universe does it make sense to name your brother Hankjohn when the name Johnhank is right there waiting for you, Liam. Johnhank. Me, hey, it's me, Liam, and my little brother, Johnhank. I can see it already. You're at the--you know, like, you're in 5th grade, and he's in 3rd grade, and everyone's like, "oh, is that your little brother?" and he's like, "Yeah, that's my awesome little brother, he's so cool, Johnhank!" Hank: I don't like you imposing your values on poor Liam.
John: No, I'm not imposing my values on Liam, I'm just saying what's objectively a better name. Johnhank is definitely better than Hankjohn.
Hank: It's funny because the podcast is called Dear Hank and John, so Hankjohn actually, I feel like it flows better.
John: Well you named the podcast. Clearly.
Hank: No! The podcast just, it was, you know, that, it named itself, you know. It's just what...
John: (Laughs)
Hank: It's what makes the most sense. Hank and John.
John: I would argue that it makes the least sense and that the older brother, John, would come before the younger brother, Hank. Then it would be called Dear John...
Hank: Yeah, but then... Then you're saying "John and Hank" and you've got those two "N"s next to each other. "John-an". "JohnandHank". It's no, it doesn't flow. Hank and John.
You've got that "K" at then end of the Hank to push you into the "and". Hank and John instead of JohnandHank. It's awful.
John: OK. Liam, I think that we've decided that you should either name your younger brother, your hypothetical younger brother, Hankjohn or just name him Johnanhank.
Hank: (Laughs) Yeah, that's good.
John: It's up to you, Liam. We're gonna leave it to you. We trust you, you seem like a really good namer already for a two year-old.
Hank: Yeah, yeah.
John: I mean, I gotta say, I have a two year-old and, um, she has no idea that it is possible for her ever to have another sibling because it isn't.
• [Question 5]
Hank: An Icelandic Nerdfighter named Kolka asks: "Dear Hank and John. Have you ever considered visiting Iceland? Best regards." John: Considered visiting Iceland? Hank, can I tell my visiting Iceland story?
Hank: You've been to Iceland?
John: Have I been to Iceland? Of course I've been to Iceland.
Hank: You've been everywhere.
John: I was in Iceland in the summer of 2008. So here's my Iceland story. Iceland is a beautiful, fascinating nation of 300,000 people. It's about the size of Columbus, Ohio, but it's an independent country, OK?
Hank: OK.
John: So I land in Reykjavik, Iceland, with thee of my friends, well one spouse and two friends but my spouse is also my friend, so three friends. And we go to the hot baths immediately. And the hot baths are almost empty but very nice. Very pleasant hot bath out in the, uh, out in public and this part of Iceland itself looks a little bit like the surface of Mars which is to say that it's, like, boring and uninhabited, but there was still something lovely about it. And then we take the bus into Reykjavik proper and it's a large city with no people in it, right? Like everyth... It is completely abandoned. It looks like a ghost town like if everyone left Columbus, Ohio, all at once. And I'm totally freaked out, like, walking down the road with my baggage behind me, complete silence. It was the most odd and dislocated I can ever remember feeling. And then suddenly there is this eruption of sound, hundreds of thousands of people making noise all at once, and they emerge from whatever hiding place they've been hiding from onto the streets screaming, cheering, throwing beer at each other, covered, their faces covered in the Icelandic flag, many of them weeping. And it turns out that when we landed in Iceland was the very moment that Iceland's Olympic men's handball team was securing Iceland's first Olympic medal in, like, 60 years.
Hank: (Laughs) That's amazing!
John: And so I found myself in the midst of the most wonderful party. And people would grab me or grab Sarah and they would grab us and look at us and scream joyfully in Icelandic. And we would be like "That's wonderful!" and they would be like "Oh! You're American! You've won so many medals! You must always feel this way!" Hank: (Laughs)
John: So I love Iceland, I love, it's the favorite place I've ever been, Kolka. Thank you.
Hank: I like how there was, there was just not a single person in the entire country who was not at that moment watching that handball match.
John: Because again, it's a nation of 300,000 people. It's like if Columbus won an Olympic medal. It was, oh, what a time to be alive. And then when we, uh, during our trip in Iceland, which lasted 2 days, at no point did anyone discuss anything other than the Men's Olympic Handball Victory.
Hank: (Laughs) Uh, apparently you want to go back to Iceland. Did you know, John, that according to a recent poll, the majority of Icelanders believe in elves?
John: Elves like, uh, Santa's elves?
Hank: Uh... I think more like Santa's elves than like Tolkien's elves. I think like, uh, kinda the way we would believe in like ghosts. Where they're like little people who like get up to mischief... and live in the mountains.
John: Well you have to understand, having spent two days in Iceland I'm a bit of an expert in the country, and you have to understand that it looks like a place where elves would live. So, I think if I lived in Iceland all of the time I would also probably believe in elves.
Hank: I kinda wish I believed in elves.
• [Question 6]
John: Okay, another question Hank. This one from Dylan: "I would like to know if you two think punk is dead or not and your reasons for feeling that way." Hank: As a person who, uh, literally fronts a punk band I hope that it is not dead. Uh...
John: Yeah, Hank, you're pretty punk rock.
Hank: (Laughs) Uh, usually when people say things like punk, punk is dead or that anything is dead it's because it's changed. Uh, and looks different than it used to look or acts different than it used to look. And that is true of punk. Uh... but old punk remains alive, even if you don't like new punk, uh, you can still listen to your Operation Ivy or Seven Seconds or whatever you think real punk is and those-
John: That's not old punk.
Hank: Songs still sound just as good as they- I... but I know but I think this is where this person is coming from. More from that era.
John: That's, the thing is like in 1993 when I was a sophomore in high school I thought that punk was dead because, you know, nobody was listening to the Dead Kennedys anymore.
Hank: Right, so it's, it's, maybe it's that punk is different in a way that makes older punks feel uncomfortable because All Time Low is too pop punk. Or whatever. But! But! But there is a lot of interesting and amazing, uh, punk happening all over the world and some of it is very underground and independent, which is what punk should be. So I think, a lot of times there's really interesting punk happening, it's just, uh, the people aren't taking the time to find it.
John: Alright Hank, quick question, um, and we're gonna answer together on three. What is a pop punk band or a punk band that most people aren't familiar with that we would heartily recommend. One, two, three.
Together: The Mr. T Experience.
Hank: Yeah.
John: I knew it. I knew it. We both love The Mr. T Experience.
