절망의 나날, 열 번째-106 of despair|days|tenth|106 Tage der Verzweiflung, Zehnte-106 Дни отчаяния, десятый - 106 Days of Despair, Tenth-106

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절망의 나날, 열 번째 of despair|days|tenth|ordinal Days of Despair, Tenth

경찰서에서의 생활이 시작되었다. at the police station|life|began Life at the police station has begun.

날짜 계산이 정확하지는 않지만, 내가 공항에서 쓰러진 뒤 1주일 이상은 입안 상처 때문에 말을 할 수도 없었고 음식을 먹을 수도 없었다. date|calculation|is not accurate|but|I|at the airport|collapsed|after|1 week|more than|in my mouth|wound|because of|speaking|able to|possibility|was not|food|eating|possibility|was not The date calculation may not be accurate, but after I collapsed at the airport, I couldn't speak or eat for more than a week due to the wounds in my mouth. 려과 담배 속에 든 독약을 깨물어 생긴 후유증과 자결하려고 혀를 물어 생긴 상처에 과로로 입안이 헐어 입 속은 쓰리고 따갑고 아팠다. the fruit of the pear tree|cigarette|inside|containing|poison|biting|resulting from|aftereffects|in an attempt to commit suicide|tongue|biting||to the wound|from overwork|inside the mouth|ulcerated|mouth|inside|sore|stinging|was painful たばこの中に入っていた毒を噛んでできた後遺症と、自決しようと舌を噛んでできた傷に、過労で口の中が凍り、口の中が苦くて痛かった。 The aftereffects of biting into the poison in the cigarette and the wounds from biting my tongue in an attempt to commit suicide caused my mouth to be sore and painful due to overwork. 더구나 혀 때문에 퉁퉁 부어 오른 입 속은 거북하기 짝이 없었다. moreover|tongue|because of|swollen|swollen|swollen|mouth|inside|uncomfortable|extremely|was しかも、舌のせいで腫れ上がった口の中は気持ち悪いことこの上ない。 Moreover, the inside of my mouth was unbearably swollen because of my tongue. 간호사들과 의사표시는 도리질이나 손짓이나 표정으로 하는 수밖에 없었다. with the nurses|communication|by nodding|by gestures|with facial expressions|to do|other than|was not possible 看護師との意思表示は、手振りや手振り、表情で行うしかなかった。 I had no choice but to communicate with the nurses and doctors through gestures, hand signals, or facial expressions. 그래도 병원 생활보다 낫다는 생각이 들었다. still|hospital|than living|is better|thought|came Still, I felt that it was better than living in the hospital. 경찰사무소는 병원과 달리 복도에 있는 공동화장실을 리용하게 되어 있어서 화장실 가기가 여간 불편한 게 아니었다. the police station|hospital|unlike|in the hallway|that is|shared restroom|to be used|being|in|restroom|going|quite|inconvenient|thing|was not 警察署は病院と違って、廊下にある共同トイレを利用することになっていて、トイレに行くのがとても不便でした。 Unlike the hospital, the police station had a shared restroom in the hallway, making it quite inconvenient to go to the bathroom. 화장실을 가려면 우선 내 손목과 침대 다리에 채워진 수갑을 풀어 여자 경찰의 손목에 채우고, 간호사와 여자 경찰이 옆에서 부축을 해야만 했다. to the bathroom|if I want to go|first|my|wrist|bed|to the leg|filled|handcuffs|release|female|police officer's|wrist|attaching|nurse and|female|police officer|next to|supporting|must|do トイレに行くには、まず私の手首とベッドの足につけられた手錠を外して女警官の手首につけ、看護師と女警官が横で介助しなければならなかった。 To go to the restroom, I first had to remove the handcuffs from my wrist and attach them to the female officer's wrist, while a nurse and the female officer had to support me on the side. 말이 부축이지 무릎 부상 때문에 그 두 사람에게 거의 매달리다시피 했다. the horse|was supporting|knee|injury|because of|that|two|person|almost|hanging on|was 馬に支えられ、膝の怪我のせいでその二人にほとんどぶら下がるようになった。 Although it was called support, I was almost hanging on to those two because of my knee injury. 화장실 안에서까지 꼭 붙어 있어야 했으니 여간 낭패가 아니었다. bathroom|even inside|must|stuck|be|was|ordinary|embarrassment|not トイレの中まで密着しなければならなかったので、なかなか厄介でした。 It was quite a disaster since I had to stay close even in the bathroom. 처음에는 그리 급하게 여겨지던 용변이 잘 보아지지도 않았다. at first|that|urgently|was perceived|bowel movement|well|being seen|was not 最初はそれほど急を要すると思われていた排便もよく見えなかった。 At first, the urgent need to relieve myself didn't seem to come at all. 서로 못할 짓이었다. each other|could not|act お互いに悪いことをした。 It was something we couldn't do to each other. 또 복도를 지날 때는 보초 근무를 하는 사복 경찰들의 따가운 시선을 온몸에 받아야만 했다. also|corridor|passing|when|guard|duty|doing|plainclothes|of the police|piercing|gaze|on my whole body|had to receive|was また、廊下を通るときは、見張りをする私服警官の厳しい視線を全身で受けなければならなかった。 Also, when passing through the hallway, I had to endure the piercing gazes of the plainclothes police on guard. 왼쪽 다리를 질질 끌며 끌려다니는 살인자의 모습을 호기심에 가득 찬 눈으로 뚫어져라 쳐다보는 그들의 시선을 의식할 때는, 가련하고 비참한 처지가 된 내 자신이 서러워서 그 자리에 주저앉아 울고 싶었다. left|leg|dragging|while|being dragged|of the murderer|appearance|with curiosity|full|filled|with eyes|piercingly|staring|their|gaze|being aware of|time|pitiful|miserable|situation|becoming|my|self|being sorrowful|that|place|sitting down|crying|wanted to 左足を引きずりながら引きずり回される殺人者の姿を好奇心旺盛な目でじっと見つめている彼らの視線を意識すると、可哀想で惨めな境遇になった自分が情けなくなり、その場にうずくまって泣きたくなった。 When I became aware of their curious eyes staring intently at the sight of a murderer dragging his left leg, I felt so pitiful and miserable that I wanted to sit down right there and cry. 어린 시절, 부모님을 물론 동네 아주머니와 선생님들로부터 귀여움을 독차지하다시피 자랐고, 동무들로부터는 그렇게 싫지 않은 질투와 부러움의 시선을 한 몸에 받았던 내가 어쩌다가 이런 신세가 되었는지...... 내가 그런 끔찍한 일을 저질렀다는 것도 실감나지 않았고 이처럼 두려움에 떨고 있는 것이 억울한 생각도 들었다. young|childhood|my parents|of course|neighborhood|aunt|from the teachers|affection|almost monopolizing|I grew up||so|not unpleasant|not|jealousy|envy|gaze|one|body|received|I|how|this|situation|became|I|such|terrible|thing|committed|also|not feeling real|not|like this|in fear|trembling|being|thing|unfair|thought|felt 子供の頃、両親はもちろん、近所のおばさんや先生から可愛がられて育ち、同級生からは嫉妬と羨望のまなざしを一身に受けていた私が、どうしてこんな身分になったのか......。自分がそんな恐ろしいことをしてしまったということも実感が湧かず、こうして恐怖に怯えていることが悔しい気もした。 In my childhood, I grew up almost monopolizing the affection of my parents, neighborhood aunties, and teachers, and I received glances of jealousy and envy from my peers that weren't so unpleasant. How did I end up in such a situation...? I couldn't even believe that I had committed such a terrible act, and I felt wronged to be trembling in fear like this. 심지어는 나를 낳아 주신 부모님까지도 원망스러웠다. even|me|gave birth to|to|parents|were resentful 私を産んでくれた両親さえも恨めしかった。 I even felt resentment towards my parents who gave birth to me. 내가 만약 조국으로 돌아갈 수만 있다면 부모님과 지도원을 붙들고 실컷 울면서 그동안 내가 받은 고통과 시련을 다 호소하리라는 어리석은 상상도 해보았다. I|if|to my homeland|return|only|if|with my parents|mentor|holding|to my heart's content|while crying|during that time|I|received|pain and|trials|all|would appeal to|foolish|imagination|I have thought of もし私がもし祖国に帰ることができれば、両親と指導員を抱きしめて思いっきり泣きながら、今まで受けた苦しみと試練を訴えるという愚かな想像もした。 I foolishly imagined that if I could just return to my homeland, I would hold onto my parents and mentors and cry as much as I wanted, pouring out all the pain and trials I had endured. 몇 년이 지난 지금 그런 생각을 했던 그 당시를 기억해 보면 얼마나 어처구니없는 상상이었는지 쓴웃음이 난다. how many|years|passed|now|that|thought|had|that|time|remembering|if|how|absurd|was|wry smile|arises 数年経った今、そんなことを考えていた当時を思い出すと、なんてとんでもない想像だったんだろうと苦笑いしてしまいます。 Looking back on that time when I had such thoughts years later, I can't help but smile wryly at how absurd those imaginations were. 그땐 내가 얼마만큼 큰 죄를 지었는지, 어떤 벌을 받아야 마땅한지 확실하게 깨닫지 못했던 것이다. at that time|I|to what extent|big|sin|committed|what kind of|punishment|should receive|appropriate|surely|realize|was not able to|was その時は、自分がどれほど大きな罪を犯したのか、どのような罰を受けるべきなのか、はっきりと理解していなかったのだ。 At that time, I didn't fully realize how great a sin I had committed or what punishment I deserved. 내가 상상치 못할 커다란 범죄를 저지른 죄인이기 때문인지 아니면 젊은 여자이기 때문인지 경찰을 비롯한 주변 사람들의 관심은 몇 배 더 많았다. I|imagining|cannot|huge|crime|committed|being a criminal|because of|or|young|being a woman|because of|police|including|surrounding|people's|interest|several|times|more|was 私が想像を絶する大きな犯罪を犯した罪人だからなのか、それとも若い女性だからなのか、警察をはじめとする周囲の人々の関心は何倍も高かった。 Whether it was because I was a criminal who committed an unimaginable crime or simply because I was a young woman, the attention from the police and those around me was several times greater. 경찰사무소에서도 그 때문에 더 고통스러웠다. at the police station|that|because of|more|was painful 警察署でもそのせいでもっと苦しかった。 It was even more painful at the police station because of that. 그곳에서는 남자 경찰 2명, 여자 경찰 1명, 간호사 1명이 밤낮으로 내 곁에 붙어서 감시를 했다. at that place|male|police officer|2|female|police officer|1|nurse|1|day and night|my|beside|attached|surveillance|did There were two male police officers, one female police officer, and one nurse who watched over me day and night. 침대에 묶여진 손목은 수갑에 스쳐 부어올랐고 심하게 쓰라렸다. on the bed|tied|wrist|to the handcuff|brushed|swollen|severely|was painful ベッドに縛られた手首は、手錠に当たって腫れてひどく痛かった。 My wrists, bound to the bed, swelled from the handcuffs and hurt severely. 무릎은 움직이기조차 어려울 정도로 아팠다. the knee|even moving|difficult||was painful 膝は動くことすら困難なほど痛かった。 My knees hurt so much that it was difficult to even move. 그렇지만 나는 입술을 깨물며 아프다는 소리를 하지 않았다. but|I|lip|biting|that it hurts|sound|did|not しかし、私は唇を噛み締め、痛いと言わなかった。 However, I bit my lip and did not make a sound of pain. 내 모든 감정을 숨기는 것이 몸에 배어 있어서 저절로 그런 행동을 하게 되었다. my|all|emotions|hiding|thing|in my body|ingrained|being|automatically|such|behavior|to|became 自分の全ての感情を隠すことが体に染み付いていて、自然とそういう行動をとるようになった。 Hiding all my emotions has become second nature to me, so I ended up behaving that way automatically. 의사의 지시에 따라 2시간마다 10여 분씩 간호사와 여자 경찰의 부축을 받으며 다리를 질질 끌면서도 걷는 련습을 했다. the doctor's|instruction|according to|every 2 hours|about 10|minutes|with the nurse|female|police officer's|support|receiving|leg|dragging|while|walking|practice|did 医師の指示に従い、2時間ごとに10分程度、看護師や婦警の介助を受けながら、足を引きずりながら歩く練習をした。 Following the doctor's instructions, I practiced walking every two hours for about ten minutes, dragging my legs while being supported by a nurse and a female police officer. 그리고 매 시간 체온과 맥박을 재고 약과 우유죽을 반강제적으로 먹었다. and|every|hour|temperature|pulse|measuring|medicine|milk porridge|semi-forced|was made to eat And every hour, my temperature and pulse were taken, and I was force-fed medicine and milk porridge. 한번은 내 팔뚝에 고무줄을 묶고 혈관에 주사바늘을 꽂아 피를 뽑아 갔다. once|my|on my arm|rubber band|tying|to the vein|syringe needle|inserting|blood|drawing|took 一度、私の前腕に輪ゴムを結び、血管に注射針を刺して血を抜いたことがあります。 Once, they tied a rubber band around my forearm and inserted a needle into my vein to draw blood. 저항할 수 없는 처지여서 그들이 하는 대로 피를 뽑아 가도록 할 수밖에 없었지만 피를 뽑을 때는 정말 그 자리에서 죽고 싶은 마음이었다. resist|able|not|situation|they|doing|as|blood|drawing|to|should|no choice|was|blood|drawing|when|really|that|at the place|dying|wanting| 抵抗できない状況だったので、彼らの言うとおりに血を抜かせるしかなかったが、血を抜くときは本当にその場で死にたくなった。 I was in an irresistible situation, so I had no choice but to let them draw my blood as they pleased, but when they drew my blood, I truly felt like I wanted to die right there. 그것은 북조선에서 들은 이야기 때문이었다. that|from North Korea|heard|story|was due to それは北朝鮮で聞いた話が原因だった。 This was because of a story I heard in North Korea. 수사기관에서는 고문을 하다가 그래도 불지 않으면 혈관에 무슨 주사약을 넣어 자신도 모르게 사실을 슬슬 불게 만든다는 이야기였다. the investigative agency|torture|while|still|not confessing|if|into the bloodstream|some|injection drug|injecting|himself|unknowingly|the truth|gradually|confessing|making|was the story 捜査機関では、拷問をしても吹かない場合は、血管に何らかの注射薬を入れ、知らないうちに事実を少しずつ吹かせるという話だった。 It was said that during interrogations, if they still wouldn't talk, they would inject some kind of drug into the veins to make the person unknowingly start revealing the truth. 나는 그들이 내 피를 뽑아 갈 때는 너무나 무서워 떨었다. I|they|my|blood|draw|go|when|very|scared|trembled I trembled with fear when they were drawing my blood. 그들이 사실을 말하게 하는 주사약을 사용하기 위해 내 피검사를 하는 거라고 믿었기 때문이다. they|the truth|to speak|making|injection drug|to use|in order to|my|blood test|doing|that|believed|is because 彼らが事実を話す注射薬を使うために私の血液検査をするのだと信じていたからです。 I believed they were doing a blood test to use a drug that would make me tell the truth. 나레이션 : 대남공작원 김현희의 고백, 랑독에 박수현이였습니다. narration|South Korean agent|Kim Hyun-hee's|confession|in the dialogue|was Park Soo-hyun Narration: The confession of North Korean agent Kim Hyun-hee, it was Park Soo-hyun in Langdok.