Chapter34 Part1
CHAPTER XXXIV
For some days after that evening Mr. Heathcliff shunned meeting us at meals; yet he would not consent formally to exclude Hareton and Cathy. He had an aversion to yielding so completely to his feelings, choosing rather to absent himself; and eating once in twenty-four hours seemed sufficient sustenance for him.
One night, after the family were in bed, I heard him go downstairs, and out at the front door. I did not hear him re-enter, and in the morning I found he was still away. We were in April then: the weather was sweet and warm, the grass as green as showers and sun could make it, and the two dwarf apple-trees near the southern wall in full bloom. After breakfast, Catherine insisted on my bringing a chair and sitting with my work under the fir-trees at the end of the house; and she beguiled Hareton, who had perfectly recovered from his accident, to dig and arrange her little garden, which was shifted to that corner by the influence of Joseph's complaints. I was comfortably revelling in the spring fragrance around, and the beautiful soft blue overhead, when my young lady, who had run down near the gate to procure some primrose roots for a border, returned only half laden, and informed us that Mr. Heathcliff was coming in. ‘And he spoke to me,' she added, with a perplexed countenance. ‘What did he say?' asked Hareton.
‘He told me to begone as fast as I could,' she answered. ‘But he looked so different from his usual look that I stopped a moment to stare at him.' ‘How?' he inquired.
‘Why, almost bright and cheerful. No, almost nothing—very much excited, and wild, and glad!' she replied.
‘Night-walking amuses him, then,' I remarked, affecting a careless manner: in reality as surprised as she was, and anxious to ascertain the truth of her statement; for to see the master looking glad would not be an every-day spectacle. I framed an excuse to go in. Heathcliff stood at the open door; he was pale, and he trembled: yet, certainly, he had a strange joyful glitter in his eyes, that altered the aspect of his whole face.
‘Will you have some breakfast?' I said. ‘You must be hungry, rambling about all night! ' I wanted to discover where he had been, but I did not like to ask directly. ‘No, I'm not hungry,' he answered, averting his head, and speaking rather contemptuously, as if he guessed I was trying to divine the occasion of his good humour. I felt perplexed: I didn't know whether it were not a proper opportunity to offer a bit of admonition. ‘I don't think it right to wander out of doors,' I observed, ‘instead of being in bed: it is not wise, at any rate this moist season. I daresay you'll catch a bad cold or a fever: you have something the matter with you now!' ‘Nothing but what I can bear,' he replied; ‘and with the greatest pleasure, provided you'll leave me alone: get in, and don't annoy me.' I obeyed: and, in passing, I noticed he breathed as fast as a cat.
‘Yes!' I reflected to myself, ‘we shall have a fit of illness. I cannot conceive what he has been doing.' That noon he sat down to dinner with us, and received a heaped-up plate from my hands, as if he intended to make amends for previous fasting.
‘I've neither cold nor fever, Nelly,' he remarked, in allusion to my morning's speech; ‘and I'm ready to do justice to the food you give me.' He took his knife and fork, and was going to commence eating, when the inclination appeared to become suddenly extinct. He laid them on the table, looked eagerly towards the window, then rose and went out. We saw him walking to and fro in the garden while we concluded our meal, and Earnshaw said he'd go and ask why he would not dine: he thought we had grieved him some way. ‘Well, is he coming?' cried Catherine, when her cousin returned.
‘Nay,' he answered; ‘but he's not angry: he seemed rarely pleased indeed; only I made him impatient by speaking to him twice; and then he bid me be off to you: he wondered how I could want the company of anybody else.' I set his plate to keep warm on the fender; and after an hour or two he re-entered, when the room was clear, in no degree calmer: the same unnatural—it was unnatural—appearance of joy under his black brows; the same bloodless hue, and his teeth visible, now and then, in a kind of smile; his frame shivering, not as one shivers with chill or weakness, but as a tight-stretched cord vibrates—a strong thrilling, rather than trembling.
I will ask what is the matter, I thought; or who should? And I exclaimed—‘Have you heard any good news, Mr. Heathcliff? You look uncommonly animated.' ‘Where should good news come from to me?' he said. ‘I'm animated with hunger; and, seemingly, I must not eat.' ‘Your dinner is here,' I returned; ‘why won't you get it?' ‘I don't want it now,' he muttered, hastily: ‘I'll wait till supper. And, Nelly, once for all, let me beg you to warn Hareton and the other away from me. I wish to be troubled by nobody: I wish to have this place to myself.' ‘Is there some new reason for this banishment?' I inquired. ‘Tell me why you are so queer, Mr. Heathcliff? Where were you last night? I'm not putting the question through idle curiosity, but—' ‘You are putting the question through very idle curiosity,' he interrupted, with a laugh. ‘Yet I'll answer it. Last night I was on the threshold of hell. To-day, I am within sight of my heaven. I have my eyes on it: hardly three feet to sever me! And now you'd better go! You'll neither see nor hear anything to frighten you, if you refrain from prying.' Having swept the hearth and wiped the table, I departed; more perplexed than ever.
