MÉDICO SUPERSTICIOSO SUPERSTITIOUS DOCTOR

Doctor, ¿me puede decir qué tiene mi bebé? Doctor, can you tell me what's wrong with my baby? Doctor, can you tell me what's wrong with my baby?

Ay, señora, su bebé tiene... Ma'am, your baby... Ma'am, your baby...

Ni siquiera puedo decir esa palabra. I can't even say the word. I can't even say the word.

-Su bebé tiene... -No me asuste, doctor. -Your baby... -Don't scare me, Doctor. -Your baby... -Don't scare me, Doctor.

Mire. Se lo anoto en un papelito. Look, I wrote it down. Look, I wrote it down.

¿Gripa? The flu? The flu?

No diga esa palabra tan fuerte. Don't say that word so strongly. Don't say that word so strongly.

No me gusta decir esa palabra porque atrae la enfermedad. I don't like to say it because it attracts it. I don't like to say it because it attracts it.

¿Atrae? Attracts it? Attracts it?

Sí, es una palabra con muchas malas vibras. Yes, it's a word with negative energy. Yes, it's a word with negative energy.

Ok, pero ¿qué le doy para que se cure, doctor? Okay, but what do I give him to feel better? Okay, but what do I give him to feel better?

Para empezar, tiene que romper ese papelito. For a starter, tear that paper. For a starter, tear that paper.

-¿Cómo? ¿Lo rompo, y ya? -Sí. -What? Tear and that's it? -Yes. -What? Tear and that's it? -Yes.

¿Se da cuenta? See? See?

¿Se da cuenta cómo luego entra la luz See how immediately the light See how immediately the light

y las buenas vibras a este lugar? and good energies enter this place? and good energies enter this place?

No, doctor, no mucho. No, Doctor. Not very. No, Doctor. Not very.

Pero ¿qué tengo que hacer para que se le cure la gripa? But what do I give him for the flu? But what do I give him for the flu?

Ah, no, al bebé no hay que darle nada. Oh, you don't have to give him anything. Oh, you don't have to give him anything.

Lo único que tiene que hacer usted What you need to do What you need to do

es repetir 7 veces "Química Son's", is repeat three times "Química Son's", is repeat three times "Química Son's",

mientras le pasa un huevo por el cuerpecito. as an egg goes through his body. as an egg goes through his body.

-¿Cómo? -Sí. -What? -Yes. -What? -Yes.

Son los laboratorios que hacen Barmicil, The labs that make Barmicil, The labs that make Barmicil,

Ardoson, Adcan. Ardoson, Adcan. Ardoson, Adcan.

Doctor, pero no entiendo. Doctor, I don't understand. Doctor, I don't understand.

-Eso parece como una brujería. -Señora, ¿cómo brujería? -Sounds like witchcraft. -Ma'am, witchcraft? -Sounds like witchcraft. -Ma'am, witchcraft?

Brujería es poner unas tijeras debajo de la almohada del bebé Witchcraft is putting scissors under the baby's pillow Witchcraft is putting scissors under the baby's pillow

mientras duerme para protegerlo. to protect him as he sleeps. to protect him as he sleeps.

O que yo le diga que tiene que escribir el nombre de su hijo Or having his name written Or having his name written

en la cajita de las pastillas mientras repite 3 veces on the medicine box as you repeat three times on the medicine box as you repeat three times

"Química Son's" en el espejo a las 12 de la noche. "Química Son's" on the mirror at midnight. "Química Son's" on the mirror at midnight.

¿Qué tienen que ver las brujas con la gripa? What do witches have to do with the flu? What do witches have to do with the flu?

Soy médico, por favor, respete. I'm a doctor. Show some respect. I'm a doctor. Show some respect.

Disculpe, doctor. Forgive me, Doctor. Forgive me, Doctor.

Lo único que le estoy pidiendo es que repita 7 veces I'm only asking you to repeat seven times I'm only asking you to repeat seven times

"Laboratorios Son's", "Laboratórios Son's", "Laboratórios Son's",

que son los que hacen medicamentos reconocidos por la OMS. who make the medicine recognized by the WHO. who make the medicine recognized by the WHO.

-Eso es mucho más científico. -¿Y eso cree que funcione? -That's more scientific. -Will it work? -That's more scientific. -Will it work?

Mire, hágalo por 3 días. Si ve que no funciona, regresa, Do that for three days. If not, come back here Do that for three days. If not, come back here

y le devuelvo su dinero. and I'll give you your money back. and I'll give you your money back.

Bueno, ¿entonces no le tengo que comprar ningún medicamento? So I don't have to buy any medication? So I don't have to buy any medication?

No. Para la gripa, no. No, not for the flu. No, not for the flu.

Pero me di cuenta que su bebé está rosado. But I see your baby is pink. But I see your baby is pink.

Señora, Ma'am, Ma'am,

de casualidad, ¿se le cayó la sal en su casa? did you spill salt at home? did you spill salt at home?

-¿La sal? -Sí, la sal. -Salt? -Yes, salt. -Salt? -Yes, salt.

No, doctor. No, Doctor. No, Doctor.

Digo, debe estar rosado por el pañal, es normal, ¿no? It must be the diaper. It's normal, right? It must be the diaper. It's normal, right?

Puede ser. Puede ser. Could be. Could be. Could be. Could be.

Pero, mire, por las dudas, le voy a recomendar esta pomada. Babyson. Just in case, I'll recommend a cream. Babyson. Just in case, I'll recommend a cream. Babyson.

Aquí se lo escribo. I'll write it down. I'll write it down.

Ok. ¿Se lo pongo todas las noches antes de dormir? Do I apply it every night before bed? Do I apply it every night before bed?

Al bebé no le tiene que poner nada. No need to apply on the baby, No need to apply on the baby,

Lo único que tiene que hacer es colocar el tubito just put the tube just put the tube

debajo de la almohada del bebé durante 7 días con sus noches. under the baby's pillow for 7 days and 7 nights. under the baby's pillow for 7 days and 7 nights.

Doctor, yo no creo que eso funcione. Doctor, I don't think it'll work. Doctor, I don't think it'll work.

Señora, tiene que tener fe. Si no cree, no va a funcionar. You must have faith. If you don't believe it, it won't work. You must have faith. If you don't believe it, it won't work.

Mire, yo tuve un paciente con gripa, I had a flu patient I had a flu patient

y le recomendé que no pasara por debajo de una escalera. and I recommended that he didn't go under any ladders. and I recommended that he didn't go under any ladders.

Y no creyó. No creyó. He didn't believe it. Didn't believe it. He didn't believe it. Didn't believe it.

¿Y qué fue lo que sucedió? And what happened? And what happened?

18 años después, se rompió el codo andando en bicicleta. ¿Cómo la ve? 18 years later, he broke his elbow riding a bike. 18 years later, he broke his elbow riding a bike.

¡Dios mío, qué horror, doctor! ¡Qué peligroso! Goodness! That's awful! It's dangerous! Goodness! That's awful! It's dangerous!

Qué peligroso y qué horrible, y todo por no tener fe. Dangerous and horrible. Because he didn't have faith. Dangerous and horrible. Because he didn't have faith.

Mire, si quiere, para que se vaya más tranquila, If you want, so it'll calm you down, If you want, so it'll calm you down,

le puede aplicar la pomada Babyson en sus nalguitas. you may put Babyson on his little tush. you may put Babyson on his little tush.

Ok. Okay. Okay.

Y, por favor, amárrele un hilito rojo en su cabecita. Please, put a red wire around his little head. Please, put a red wire around his little head.

Y, por ningún motivo, vaya a ponerse las chanclas al revés, And under no circumstances put your flipflops on backwards, And under no circumstances put your flipflops on backwards,

porque se puede enfermar. or you can get sick. or you can get sick.

Y, si usted se enferma, ¿quién va a cuidar a la criatura? If you get sick, who takes care of the baby? If you get sick, who takes care of the baby?

Bueno, menos mal que solo es gripa, doctor. At least it's only the flu. At least it's only the flu.

Yo me imaginé que era algo mucho más grave, I thought it was worse, I thought it was worse,

-como neumonía... -¡No diga esa palabra, señora! -like pneumonia... -Don't say that word! -like pneumonia... -Don't say that word!

¿Cuál palabra? ¿Neumo...? What word? Pneumo...? What word? Pneumo...?

Cancélelo, cancélelo. Cancel it! Cancel it! Cancel it! Cancel it!

Esa palabra aquí no se dice. We don't say that word here. We don't say that word here.

¿Cómo hace si un paciente viene con esa enfermedad? What if a patient has it? What if a patient has it?

Muy fácil. Tomo un papelito y escribo que es gripa. Easy. I write down on a piece of paper it's the flu. Easy. I write down on a piece of paper it's the flu.

Muy bien. Very well. Very well.

Oiga, ¿ya le pasó un huevo para limpiarlo? Have you rubbed the egg to clean him? Have you rubbed the egg to clean him?

Perfecto. Bien. Great. Very well. Great. Very well.

Ahora lo que tiene que hacer es bendecir su ojito de venado para... Now I need to bless your ox' eye so... Now I need to bless your ox' eye so...

¿No lo tiene? Bueno, no se preocupe. You don't have it? Don't worry. You don't have it? Don't worry.

Provisionalmente, puede pegarle en la frente un hilito con saliva For now, put on a string with saliva on his forehead For now, put on a string with saliva on his forehead

para que no le dé mal de ojo. to protect from evil eyes. to protect from evil eyes.

Exacto. Exacto, sí. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Y luego, cuando llegue a casa, pásale un limón Then, when you get home, rub some lemon Then, when you get home, rub some lemon

para chuparle las malas vibras que traiga. Exacto. to suck away the bad energy. Precisely. to suck away the bad energy. Precisely.

Sí. Ya sabe cómo son los niños. Yes, you know how kids are. Yes, you know how kids are.

Bueno. Hasta luego, sra. Del Valle. Cuídese mucho. Bye bye. Alright, see you, Ms. Del Valle. Take care. Bye. Alright, see you, Ms. Del Valle. Take care. Bye.