I Was Almost In A Plane Crash With Leonardo DiCaprio
- I was on a flight to Russia.
It turned out to be the scariest flight of my entire life.
This is that story.
At the time, I was living in Russia,
and I was flying back home a winter in the US.
I didn't wanna fly for multiple reasons.
First, all flights were canceled
because of a volcano that exploded in Iceland,
and the ash made it dangerous to fly.
So, we were one of the first flights
to be allowed to fly over Iceland, and well,
it didn't sound safe.
Second, I just watched the first episode of Lost,
so I now know that planes can be split in half,
people get sucked out.
I don't wanna fly.
To be honest,
I've been terrified of flying ever since I was a little kid.
My mom freaks out on planes,
so I guess some of it maybe rubbed off on me.
She does that thing where she grabs the seat handles
with all her force, which is not that much,
and she just holds on.
So, the day came when it was time
for me to fly back to Russia.
When we got to the airport,
I was begging my mom to cancel the flight and go home.
I had a terrible feeling about this flight,
and I know I have terrible feelings about all flights,
but this time, it was terriblier.
But we had to get home,
so my mom grabbed my hand and dragged me onto the plane.
I wasn't gonna give up just yet, though.
I was determined to get off the plane.
I had a thought. (bell rings)
I was recently just watching X-Men.
I was watching a lot of things, okay?
Maybe, just maybe, I could use my brain to break the plane.
So, I warned my mom.
I'm gonna break the plane with my brain.
She ignored me,
so I put my fingers to my temples and concentrated.
30 minutes go by, we've left the gate,
and we're just taxiing around the runway.
Suddenly, the pilot comes over the intercom
and says we need to go back to the gate.
We had to switch planes
because there was an issue with the wheel.
I did it!
I broke the plane with my brain.
My mom's trying to figure out
if she has some sort of X-Men kid,
I'm trying to figure out what to do with my newfound powers.
So, yeah, thanks for watching.
This is my story, I have superpower...
Just kidding, there was another plane.
Unfortunately, my powers weren't enough this time.
We taxied, sped up, and we're flying.
So, I look out the window and we're literally flying.
We're in the air, there's nothing under us.
I don't understand how this is...
I'm just in a metal object.
So, I'm trying to calm myself down,
I get comfortable in the seat,
I start sifting through the little seat pocket.
I'm so bored I grabbed a safety manual.
I'm seeing people with their head between their knees,
life jackets, raft boats, water slides, and spoiler alert,
you're supposed to put on your own oxygen mask
before you help others.
I can't keep reading this, it's starting to scare me again.
So, I decided to go to sleep to avoid all my problems
because if anything happened, I could just sleep through it.
So, I passed out.
All of a sudden, I wake up, the plane is shaking,
people are crying, all the lights are out.
Holy (bleep), what the (bleep) is going on?
Stewardesses are running around with flashlights in a panic.
This is Lost.
I was like, mom, what's going on?
Please tell me what's going on.
She looks at me in full panic.
Eric, go to sleep, go to sleep!
So, I'm trying to figure out what's going on
and I look out the window and I see fire.
The wing of the plane is on fire.
So, I spring into action and immediately I start crying.
I thought I was gonna die,
and the worst part is I predicted this.
I knew this was gonna be happening,
yet I got on the plane and now I'm on the plane
and now we're gonna crash and I'm gonna die.
So, the pilot comes over the intercom again.
There's, how do I say this?
Issue with the plane,
and we're gonna have to do an emergency landing.
I'm not a plane guy or anything,
but I think I know what the problem is.
It's we're on fire.
Also, what's an emergency landing mean?
So, here's where (bleep) gets real.
I look at the little TV in front of me
that sometimes has a little map on it, the little plane,
it's got a little line and then you can see how much time
you have left on the flight.
It's just the Atlantic Ocean.
Everything is ocean.
Nothing but ocean.
Ocean!
I remember taking a deep breath and for some reason,
the only thing I could think to do
was fly this plane myself.
I had been using my powers for evil before,
but now I'm gonna use them for good.
I don't know why this made sense to me at the time,
but I swear this is what happened.
I grabbed the imaginary steering wheel
and put my foot on the gas pedal.
I mean, I don't know if planes have gas pedals.
Probably not, but this imaginary situation did.
So, I was flying the plane, I was also praying relentlessly.
I remember promising God
that I would never cheat on a spelling test again.
Oh (bleep), oh (bleep), oh (bleep).
I don't know how to fly a plane.
We're gonna land in the ocean.
I'm gonna have to use that dumb water slide.
Now I'm doing that thing
where I'm clutching the arm rest like my mom.
The plane was dropping fast.
Not like it was falling out of the sky or anything,
but I knew the pilot wanted to land ASAP.
The closer we get to the ocean or the earth or whatever,
I can see there's an island.
It's (bleep) Lost.
We're in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
Where is there an island?
But it's green and beautiful and we're landing on it.
The plane lands just like any other plane,
not crashing into the ground or anything,
just a simple basic land.
We all run off the plane as quickly as possible
as people in tinfoil suits enter the plane to stop the fire.
I was looking around and I couldn't believe my eyes.
None of this looked real.
There was just a bunch of rolling hills of lush farms.
Did I just crash land into a vacation?
To give you an image,
this looks like where the Teletubbies live.
Turns out, for all you geography fans out there,
this was an island within islands
that was a part of Portugal collectively known as Azores.
Now that I was safe on the ground, my mind started reeling.
What if we weren't near an island?
Would we have crashed into the ocean?
Whatever, it's fine, I'm alive, it's fine.
We ended up staying the night there
and then flying out on another plane the next day.
So, finally, after two and a half days, we landed in Russia.
The pilot apologized for the inconvenience
and offered everybody gift cards.
Sorry the plane kind of crashed and caught fire,
but we got gift cards.
If you're thinkin' about leaving the video,
do not leave yet because I haven't even gotten
to the craziest part of the story.
So, I go about my life as a near plane crash survivor,
and everything's going fine until my friend sends me a video
from Ellen.
- So, what's the scariest thing you've ever done?
- It's Leonardo DiCaprio telling a story
flying out of New York to Russia.
- I was on a plane to Russia.
- Engine catches fire.
- I was looking out the window and the entire engine
just turned into a fire ball.
- Was Leonardo DiCaprio on the same flight as me?
Leonardo DiCaprio was on the same flight as me.
We shared a plane.
We almost crashed together.
Oh my God, we have so much to talk about
like what row were you in, how was that fire,
did you use the coupon yet?
Then, I come to learn we weren't on the same flight.
His flight, though oddly similar, landed back in NYC.
Still, that is (bleep) crazy.
That's an insane coincidence to have with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is this a common occurrence?
Did I just waste everybody's time?
Yeah.
Because, well, apparently this isn't a very original story.
You told me this was a good story.
It's over.
I'm sorry.
(classical music)
