Friends S02E19 1d
Hey, Eddie.
- What are you doing here? - Watching you sleep. Why? It makes me feel peaceful. Please. I can't sleep now! You want me to sing? That's it. I want you out of the apartment now! What are you talking about? Hannibal Lecter? Better roommate than you. I don't think you're being fair! One night you see me and you get scared. What about the other nights when you don't see me? Last night you went and got some water... ...and I was nice enough to hide behind the door. I didn't realize that. Get out now! You really want me out? Yes, please. Then I want to hear you say you want me out. I want you out. I want to hear it from your lips. Where'd you hear it before? All right. You know what? Consider me gone. I will go to my brother's basement. When he find out, I will find another man's house. I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow. - Thank you. - I heard that. The One Where Eddie Won't Go Well, look at you! Finally got that time machine working, huh? You like it? This guy was selling them on 8th Avenue and I thought... ..."You know what I don't have?" A mirror? Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty. For a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in a good mood. I'll be all right. I'm not starting from square one. I was Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of our Lives. That's got to have some kind of cachet. Cachet? Jaunty? Chandler gave me word-of-the-day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee. Go on, you know you want to. So? Did you read the book? Oh, my God. It was incredible! Didn't it, like, totally speak to you? What book is this? You have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Wind Keeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered. But there's wind. And the wind can make us goddesses. Do you know who takes our wind? Men. They just take it. Men just take our wind? All the time. Because they are the lightning-bearers. That sounds kind of cool. It's like The Hobbit. It is nothing like The Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had. Except for Richard. Richard would never steal your wind. Because he's yummy. But all the others. And the part about how they're always drinking... ...from our pool of inner power. But God forbid we should take a sip. Anybody want a cruller? This is a typical lightning-bearer thing. It's like... ..."Hello. Who wants one of my phallic-shaped man-cakes?" Don't worry about it, already! Things happen. You're not mad at me for getting fired and everything? Look at me. Look at me! Do I have lipstick on my teeth? Can we get back to me? Look, honey. People get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World. All right! "Cab Driver Number 2"? You're welcome. But I was Dr. Drake Ramoray! How can I go from being a neurosurgeon to driving a cab? Things change. Roll with them. But this is a two-line part! It's like taking a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this. I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minza... ...and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get, and don't make on the floor. I'm sorry. I'll see you.
