Husband vs. Wife: The Ultimate Insult Challenge!
That hurt on so many levels.
Back by popular demand,
it's Salama and I roasting each other.
You're ready to lose?
You ready, champ? - Let's go, champ.
Let's go.
You're so short
I have heels taller than you.
That's why I'm in flats all the time. Just...
I just bought
a new beard trimmer yesterday.
But it wasn't for me.
It was for you.
I shaved this morning, by the way.
Yeah, sure. Again?
Seems to be very in time.
All right. Cool.
As a teenager,
I always dreamt of a handsome, strong man.
I'm still waiting, by the way.
She came out swinging, man.
Man, you're coming out hard.
Isn't she a bit too harsh?
It's very therapeutic. - Is it relaxing you?
It is, it is. It's a safe environment.
Ok, alright. That's it. The gloves...
The gloves come off now.
You ready for this?
You're so ugly
that when One Direction saw you,
they went the other direction.
That hurt on so many levels.
Oh, that was good.
That was a good one. - It's like so...
Yeah, it's like... Yeah. - Liberating!
You are a living proof
that I don't make mistakes.
I just marry them.
I can't do this, man.
Like, I'm going to have battle scars after this.
You're the best mistake.
15 years ago, I fell in love
with the woman of my dreams.
That didn't work out, so I married you.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
That was a good one.
That's a good one. Hats off to you.
Burn.
Do you know you're so ugly,
you make onions cry?
Can you hold still for a second?
I'm trying to picture you with a personality.
Yep, there. No...
It's not there anymore.
I really love what you do with your hair.
How do you manage to bring it
out of your nose like that?
All self-conscious now.
Oh, all right.
I love how you cover your hair.
It's good for hiding the horns.
I mean, facts.
They say love is blind,
but marrying you was an eye opener.
Can I use this?
You're a horrible human being,
but not so horrible for me
to not admit that...
You have won.
You have defeated me.
Yes. - I can accept this loss.
I just want to say I'm proud of you,
of the woman that you've become today.
And those roasts were...
Top tier.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Much love, and God bless.
