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It`s Okay To Be Smart, Why Do We Lie?

Why Do We Lie?

Hey smart people, Joe here.

So there's this famous experiment on lying.

A behavioral economist named Dan Ariely gave groups of people a set of math problems.

You're supposed to find the 2 numbers that add up to 10.

Pretty much everyone can solve these, if they're given enough time.

But in the experiment you're only given 5 minutes to do a whole bunch of ‘em.

And, you'd get a dollar for each one you got right.

When the 5 minutes are up, you'd stop and count how many questions you got correct.

Then put your paper in a shredder.

Tell the tester how many you got right, and collect your money.

Except the papers weren't really shredded.

So researchers could tell who lied.

Around 7 in 10 people cheat in this scenario.

On average people said they solved 6 problems, but they only actually solved 4.

What's interesting is people didn't lie as big as they could lie.

They made a calculated lie.

Big enough to get some extra moolah, but not big enough to raise suspicion, they thought.

These were normal people, just like you and me.

Just about everyone is willing to tell a little lie like this in return for a reward.

If you think we can separate people into those who lie and those who don't, or you think

that lying is abnormal and unacceptable, well that's incorrect.

Everyone lies

Like you're on the internet.

You know people lie all the time.

But take an honest look at yourself.

Have you lied today?

Ever say “I know, we should totally catch up!”

“Oh yeah, script's almost done, got like 2 more lines”

"Oh weird, must have gone to my spam folder" "I love flossing!

Every day!"

What's your dating profile say?

Drive a little faster than the speed limit?

Last time someone asked you how you're doing …did you tell them the whole truth?

"Oh great!"

And these are just little lies.

The world is full of larger lies, and more sinister liars.

Lies that can do real harm.

Most of us consider ourselves pretty good, generally truthful people.

So why do we do this?

I mean, if we're supposed to be the most intelligent species on Earth, the most socially

complex organism that we know of in the universe, why are we just incapable of telling the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Well, lucky for you, I have all the answers!

Ok, that's a lie.

But you're gonna learn a lot.

This is why we lie.

[MUSIC]

Lie, deception, cheat, falsehood, untruth, mislead, falsity, fiction, concoction, fib,

fabrication, hoax, forgery, exaggeration, malarkey, hogwash, baloney, misrepresentation,

fake.

[BLEEP]

So what is a lie?

Definitions are a good place to start.

It's “someone acting to create a false belief in their victim.”

Even if that victim is themselves.

Yeah, you can lie to yourself, and we all do.

Which is pretty wild… that means one part of our brain is actually keeping information

from another part of our brain on a regular basis… yikes.

There are a lot of different kinds of lies: We can say something that isn't true.

But we can also lie by avoiding the truth Or exaggerating the truth, the total other

direction Or even casting doubt on truth itself

Lies can be actions that we take Or actions that we don't take

These are all lies.

Everyone does this.

Everyone lies.

And it's not our fault.

At least, sort of.

If you've been watching this channel for a while, maybe you've heard this quote before:

Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution.

And that's absolutely true.

Everything that we are, everything that we do, we evolved to be this way.

And in general, traits—even psychological traits like lying—stick around for a reason.

And that's kind of a dark thought to consider: that lying is actually useful.

So useful that not only did nature keep it around, it made us really good at it.

So how often do people lie?

Studies on college students show they lie in a quarter of conversations with a best

friend; half the time with acquaintances; and almost 80% of chats with strangers.

Lied to romantic partners in a third of conversations.

They even lied to their moms in half their calls home.

Sorry mom.

Lying and deception is not limited to humans, of course.

Living things exchange all kinds of signals with each other.

Sounds, colors and patterns; movements and behaviors; chemicals and molecules.

And they can deceive with all of them.

Viruses are lying to your immune system—molecular deception.

Parasites that control the minds of their hosts so the parasites can survive and reproduce.

Flowers that look like female bees, to trick males into “pollinating” them.

Camouflage?

That's just lying with your body.

Or the beetle that covers itself in the chemical odor of a baby ant larvae, so the ants carry

it off to the nursery, where it eats their real babies, while the ants take care of the

murdering fake baby.

All lies!

These are just a handful.

Lying is everywhere in nature.

But no other animal is capable of such a broad range of lies and deceptions as we are.

Because we can verbalize… ”verbal lies”… whoa.

We can speak our deception.

The average human adult can speak something like 10,000 words, and many of us can speak

far more loquaciously.

That was kind of a humblebrag.

Which might be another form of lying!

These words can be combined in countless ways to exaggerate facts, omit them, or invent

new ones.

No one knows when our species first developed the capacity to lie, but scientists think

our lying skills exploded when we developed spoken language.

And thanks to language, unlike most other lying animals, we direct most of our lies

at our own species, at each other.

How do we rationalize this, how do we make excuses for all this lying?

Think about this for a second: What do we want out of the everyday interactions we have

with other people?

Maybe to just be pleasant, maybe we want our opinion heard, or to give some impression

of ourselves, or maybe we want to make others feel good, strengthen our friendships, influence

people, push them to do something we want them to do, increase our status and power

by wanting people to believe we have the answers to things…

Can we cut that last one?

We all have motivations like these.

And we can act on these motivations truthfully, or deceptively.

Most of the lies we tell are everyday white lies.

And these generally fall into 5 categories:

Lies about our feelings and opinions.

"I love that shirt!

It's your color."

Their plans or whereabouts; “I already donated at work.

A lot.

Our knowledge, achievements, or even our failings; “I'm a constitutional law expert on Twitter”

Explaining our actions or behaviors; "Sorry I am late, car trouble!

The rotator splint or something"

Or personal facts or possessions; "I don't have any change, I don't even like

money"

These aren't Earth-shattering things, but they are super common.

How do we rationalize lying about stuff like this, so frequently?

When people lie, they often justify it (consciously or unconsciously) by feeling that they are

protecting the target of the lie and also protecting themselves.

Thinking that both they and the target would feel worse if truth had been told rather than

lie.

In this way, lying is a form of prosocial behavior.

“Self-centered lies” are lies told to protect the liar psychologically—like saving

the liar from embarrassment, or disapproval, or conflict—or they're told for the liar's

personal gain.

"What kinda watch is that?"

"It's a Rolex.

You can't look at it"

“Other-oriented lies” are kinda the opposite.

They're also told for psychological protection, but to protect the target of the lie, not

the liar.

Trying to spare other people from embarrassment, disapproval, conflict, or from getting their

feelings hurt.

"Aww your baby is so cute!"

Maybe unsurprisingly, people are more likely tell self-serving lies than lies that serve

others.

And people are more likely to tell self-serving lies to strangers or acquaintances, and they

tell more protective “other-oriented” lies to close friends and family.

But from the liar's point of view, both of these are kind-hearted, altruistic actions.

Like, in your head, you're being nice by lying.

Most lying isn't to manipulate and exploit people.

No.

Most common lies are to boost self-esteem, or to protect people's feelings, or to get

people to like us more.

According to psychologists, being honest all the time isn't always the best idea for

strengthening social bonds.

Which is… a lot to unpack.

Bring that up in your next therapy session and let me know how it goes.

People do tell more serious lies, of course.

Lies that have the potential to seriously harm relationships, or that cover up fundamental

parts of their identity, or that put others in danger.

And whereas people are less likely to tell those small self-serving lies to people they

are closest to, they are more likely to tell large serious lies to people they are closest

to.

Which is messed up.

But that's because those little lies you'd tell to strangers or acquaintances to save

embarrassment or conflict, sharing those truths with people we're closest to actually strengthens

those relationships.

You might tell a casual work friend that you don't mind they they stole your best knock

knock joke, and then go tell your partner that actually you do care.

Who's there?

Hurt feelings.

And you and your partner strengthen your bond over that.

So psychologically, it's to our advantage not to lie about little stuff to people we

value.

BUT… because we value the people we're closest to, because those relationships mean

so much to us, it actually makes it more likely that we'll tell them riskier or more serious

lies, because there's a lot more to lose.

It's easy to think of lying as absolutely wrong and worth condemning when we view it

as a moral issue all on its own.

But it isn't an issue that exists all on its own.

Like, we care about honesty, but we also care about love, and happiness, and not doing things

that are painful or uncomfortable.

We have to weigh all of these goals at the same time, and complete honesty doesn't

always win over those other concerns.

Maybe acknowledging that we care about other people's feelings, or that we are loyal

to people who depend on us, or that people's intentions are sometimes more important than

their actual actions

"Aw that is a really great picture!

I'm gonna hang that up in my office, I totally know what it is"

I mean... maybe acknowledging those things can be the moral high ground sometimes?

It's great when love and honesty coincide, but they don't always, because relationships

are complicated!

And being constantly uncomfortable in that moment between the two sides, I think maybe

keeps us working hard to make our relationships better.

Besides these prosocial behaviors, there's another big way that people rationalize lying…

and they don't do any of this consciously by the way… they look for hints that lying

is socially acceptable in that moment.

Ok, so you remember that experiment with the math problems and the money.

They did it again.

Except this time someone stands up after like 30 seconds and loudly declares “I solved

all of them” . Obviously lying.

If you think that super-liar is not like you, if they look different, if they dress different,

they aren't in your “in group”?

It'll actually make you act more honest.

You don't want to be like them.

But if a person like you, for whatever reason or identifier, if a person in your “in group”

lies and gets away with it?

It increases the chance that you will lie too.

Because that person sends a signal: Lying is socially acceptable.

The key to making a lie work, even if you're lying to yourself—which, again, we do a

lot—is the person you're lying to can't spot the lie.

Luckily for liars (which all of us are), we are really bad at spotting lies.

Even professionals—interrogators, lawyers, Among Us Twitch streamers.

Lousy at lie-spotting.

And that's because we have a bias to believe that what other people tell us is generally

true.

Our default assumption is that we aren't being lied to.

Even though we obviously get lied to ALL the time!

Why do we err on the side of assuming something's true?

At this point it's useful to take a look at human history.

Like all the way back.

The human brain took the form it has today about 150,000 years ago or so.

We live a very different life than those ancestors, but we're using essentially the same hardware,

and most of the same software as stone age humans.

Human brains did not evolve to be the greatest tool in the universe for the pursuit of truth,

they only did what they had to do to survive.

And surviving a hundred thousand years ago involved very different choices.

Imagine you hear a predator sound in the grass.

Even if it's the wind 99 times out of 100, there's a big potential punishment for assuming

it's not a predator: You could die.

But there's a low punishment, and high reward! for assuming it is actually a predator.

You might be wrong, but you're alive because your default assumption was that what you

think you heard was true.

The humans who didn't assume that got eaten, and our stone age mind is the one that survived,

warts and all!

But we are carrying that stone age mind through a very different world today.

And some people aren't sure that old-school mind is cut out for the job.

I am probably not the only one wondering if lying is getting worse lately.

I mean, we're on the internet right now, remember?

Researchers did that math problem/money experiment one more time.

You do your math problems, timer goes off, shred your paper, report your answers.

Only this time, first you get tokens.

Then you take those tokens somewhere else over there to get actual money.

This bit of distance, separation between the actual lie and the person you are cheating

and getting the reward from, it made people cheat twice as much.

And this is kind of scary.

We're more distant from each other these days than ever before.

It's easier to lie when you don't have to do it to someone's face.

So is it just gonna get worse, until no one tells the truth, ever?

I actually don't think so, because luckily getting lied to really sucks!

Primate researcher Frans de Waal once trained monkeys so if they traded a token, they'd

get some cucumber.

But if one monkey witnessed another monkey getting a free cucumber, the first monkey

would throw food, and I dunno, probably throw poop too.

The monkey that got lied to refused to cooperate until fairness was restored.

So other animals agree, getting lied to or cheated sucks.

And this is probably why social animals have to keep lying and cheating kind of under control.

Because if you lie and deceive too often, or too obviously, the rest of your species

won't cooperate with you, and you have less chance of surviving and passing on your genes.

But even if nature keeps lying from totally taking over, it isn't going anywhere.

Seems pretty hopeless, eh?

I mean, I'm a scientist, I'm in the truth business, and I want my business to succeed!

Are we just doomed to lie, and be lied to?

Maybe not.

Scientists did that experiment one more time, with the math problems, timer, shredder, money…

but before they started, they made the test subjects just promise not to cheat.

And those people lied less.

Just by saying they weren't going to lie.

Because instead of letting your unconscious mind drive your behavior, and all the lying

and cheating that leads to, your conscious mind weighs in, and that's enough to get

you to lie less often.

Maybe that's all morals are.

Using our conscious mind, this amazingly powerful tool capable of imagining, capable of putting

us into the footsteps and minds of others and experiencing the world from their perspective,

using this tool to control our actions instead of that silent, unseen, unconscious controller,

the one that is willing to lie so much.

I kind of love that we can succeed in that, by doing that thing that only our species

can do: by telling ourselves a story: “I will strive for truth, and try to be honest

and maybe we can all lie less.”

I hope that's true, anyway.

Stay curious

Learn languages from TV shows, movies, news, articles and more! Try LingQ for FREE

Why Do We Lie? Perché||| Warum lügen wir? ¿Por qué mentimos? Pourquoi mentons-nous ? Perché mentiamo? 人はなぜ嘘をつくのか? 우리는 왜 거짓말을 할까요? Kodėl mes meluojame? Waarom liegen we? Dlaczego kłamiemy? Porque é que mentimos? Почему мы лжем? Neden Yalan Söyleriz? Чому ми брешемо? 我们为什么说谎? 我們為什麼說謊?

Hey smart people, Joe here. |||I| Hola|||| Ciao gente intelligente, sono Joe. Hej mądrzy ludzie, tu Joe.

So there's this famous experiment on lying. ||||study||deception ||||||mentire ||||||mentir C'è un famoso esperimento sulla menzogna. Yalan söylemekle ilgili şu meşhur deney var.

A behavioral economist named Dan Ariely gave groups of people a set of math problems. |||||Ариэли||||||||| |behavioral|behavioral economist|Dan Ariely||Dan Ariely|provided|sets of||individuals||one set||mathematical| |comportamental||||||||||||| ||||Dan|Ariely||||||||| |behawioralny|ekonomista behawioralny|||Ariely||||||||| |поведінковий||||||||||||| ||||Dan|||||||||| Un economista comportamentale di nome Dan Ariely ha sottoposto a gruppi di persone una serie di problemi matematici. Поведенческий экономист по имени Дэн Ариели дал группам людей набор математических задач. Dan Ariely adlı bir davranışsal ekonomist, insan gruplarına bir dizi matematik problemi verdi.

You're supposed to find the 2 numbers that add up to 10. |expected to||||two|||| devi|dovresti||trovare|||||| Debes encontrar los 2 números que suman 10. Dovete trovare i 2 numeri che sommano a 10. Вы должны найти 2 числа, которые в сумме дают 10. 您應該找到 2 個數字總和為 10。

Pretty much everyone can solve these, if they're given enough time. ||||this||if true||provided with|| Pretty much everyone can solve these, if they're given enough time. Prácticamente todo el mundo puede resolverlos, si se les da tiempo suficiente. Quasi tutti sono in grado di risolverli, se gli si concede abbastanza tempo.

But in the experiment you're only given 5 minutes to do a whole bunch of ‘em. |||study||||||||entire|a lot|them| ||||||||||||un sacco|| |||||||||||um monte|||tarefa Pero en el experimento sólo te dan 5 minutos para hacer un montón de ellas. Ma nell'esperimento vi vengono dati solo 5 minuti per farne un bel po'.

And, you'd get a dollar for each one you got right. ||||доллар|||||| ||||one dollar|||||| E si riceveva un dollaro per ogni errore di valutazione.

When the 5 minutes are up, you'd stop and count how many questions you got correct. Allo scadere dei 5 minuti, ci si ferma e si conta quante domande sono state corrette.

Then put your paper in a shredder. ||||||шредер ||||||document destroyer ||||||문서세단기 ||||||shredder ||||||шредер ||||||niszczarka do papieru Poi mettete la carta in un distruggidocumenti.

Tell the tester how many you got right, and collect your money. ||тестировщик||||||||| ||quality checker|||||||retrieve|| ||테스터||||||||| ||testerowi||||||||| Dile al probador cuántas has acertado y cobra tu dinero. Dite al tester quanti ne avete azzeccati e ritirate i soldi. Vertel de tester hoeveel je er goed hebt en incasseer je geld.

Except the papers weren't really shredded. |||||порезаны with one exception||documents|were not||torn into pieces |||||찢어진 |||||pocięte

So researchers could tell who lied. |||||told untruths

Around 7 in 10 people cheat in this scenario. ||||||this situation

On average people said they solved 6 problems, but they only actually solved 4. |||||решили||||||

What's interesting is people didn't lie as big as they could lie. Что интересно, люди не лгали так много, как могли бы.

They made a calculated lie. |||преднамеренная|

Big enough to get some extra moolah, but not big enough to raise suspicion, they thought. ||||||деньги|||||||подозрение|| ||||||extra money||||||||| |suficiente|||||grana||||||levantar|||achavam ||||||Kohle||||||||| ||||||돈||||||||| ||||||soldi||||||||| ||||||гроші|||||||підозру|| ||||||dinero||||||||| Lo suficientemente grande como para conseguir algo de dinero extra, pero no lo suficiente como para levantar sospechas, pensaron.

These were normal people, just like you and me.

Just about everyone is willing to tell a little lie like this in return for a reward. ||||disposto||||||||||||

If you think we can separate people into those who lie and those who don't, or you think

that lying is abnormal and unacceptable, well that's incorrect. |||неприемлемо||неприемлемо||| |||||not allowed||| |||비정상적||용납할 수 없는|||

Everyone lies |лжет

Like you're on the internet.

You know people lie all the time. Sabes que la gente miente todo el tiempo.

But take an honest look at yourself.

Have you lied today? ||mentido|

Ever say “I know, we should totally catch up!” |||||||만나다| |||||deberíamos|totalmente|| Sagen Sie jemals: „Ich weiß, wir sollten aufholen!“ ¿Alguna vez has dicho "Lo sé, deberíamos ponernos al día"? Когда-нибудь скажите: "Я знаю, нам обязательно нужно встретиться!". 曾經說過“我知道,我們應該完全趕上!”

“Oh yeah, script's almost done, got like 2 more lines” ||сценарий почти готов|||||| ||script is|||||| ||대본은|||||| ||||||||righe ||сценарій|||||| ||guion|||||| "Oh sí, el guión está casi terminado, tengo como 2 líneas más"

"Oh weird, must have gone to my spam folder" "I love flossing! |||||||спам|||| ||||||||spam directory|||Showing off |||||||||||usar fio dental |||||||||||Zahnseide |||||||스팸|폴더|||치실 사용하기 ||deve|||||posta indesiderata|posta indesiderata||adoro|filare i denti |||||||||||флосинг "Oh, strano, deve essere finito nella mia cartella spam" "Adoro il filo interdentale! 「哦,奇怪,一定是進了我的垃圾郵件資料夾」「我喜歡用牙線!

Every day!"

What's your dating profile say? |||profilo di incontri| Cosa dice il vostro profilo di appuntamenti?

Drive a little faster than the speed limit? |||||||limite di velocità Guidare un po' più veloce del limite di velocità?

Last time someone asked you how you're doing …did you tell them the whole truth? Ultima volta|||ti ha chiesto||||||||||| L'ultima volta che qualcuno vi ha chiesto come state... avete detto loro tutta la verità?

"Oh great!" "Oh, fantastico!"

And these are just little lies. E queste sono solo piccole bugie.

The world is full of larger lies, and more sinister liars. ||||||||||лжецы |||||||||verrückter| ||||||||||deceitful people |||piena||||||sinistri|bugiardi ||||||||||거짓말쟁이 Il mondo è pieno di bugie più grandi e di bugiardi più sinistri.

Lies that can do real harm. |||||вред |||||danno reale Bugie che possono causare danni reali.

Most of us consider ourselves pretty good, generally truthful people. ||||||||честными| |||ci consideriamo|||||veritieri| La maggior parte di noi si considera una brava persona, generalmente sincera.

So why do we do this?

I mean, if we're supposed to be the most intelligent species on Earth, the most socially 我的意思是,如果我們被認為是地球上最聰明、最善於社交的物種

complex organism that we know of in the universe, why are we just incapable of telling the truth, |||||||||||||неспособны|||| |||||||||||||нездатні||||

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Well, lucky for you, I have all the answers!

Ok, that's a lie.

But you're gonna learn a lot.

This is why we lie.

[MUSIC]

Lie, deception, cheat, falsehood, untruth, mislead, falsity, fiction, concoction, fib, |обман|обман||||ложность||вымысел|небольшая ложь ||||False statement|Deceive, misinform, trick|False statement||Made-up story|Small lie ||||||||mistura inventada| Lüge|||Falschheit|Unwahrheit|irreführen|Falschheit|Fiktion|Zusammenstellung|Lüge |속임수||허위|거짓|오도하다|허위||조작|작은 거짓말 |обман|обманювати|неправда||ввести в оману|фальшивість||вигадка|неправда |engaño||falsedad||engañar|||invención| Lüge, Täuschung, Betrug, Falschheit, Unwahrheit, Irreführung, Falschheit, Fiktion, Verschwörung, Schwindel,

fabrication, hoax, forgery, exaggeration, malarkey, hogwash, baloney, misrepresentation, |обман|||чепуха|чепуха|ерунда|искажение фактов Made-up story|Deceptive trick|Counterfeit document creation||Nonsense, lies|Nonsense, lies|Nonsense, lies|False statement ||||||bobagem| |||Übertreibung|Quatsch|Unsinn|Baloney|Falschdarstellung 제작|속임수|위조|과장|허튼소리|허튼소리|허튼소리|허위 진술 виготовлення|обман|підробка|перебільшення|дурниця|нісенітниця|дурниця|неправдиве подання |engaño|falsificación||palabrería||tonterías|falsedad Erfindung, Schwindel, Fälschung, Übertreibung, Blödsinn, Unsinn, Quatsch, falsche Darstellung,

fake. falsch

[BLEEP] цензура [ZENSIERT] Censored or redacted 비프 пункт 1

So what is a lie?

Definitions are a good place to start.

It's “someone acting to create a false belief in their victim.” |||||||віра|||жертва Это "кто-то, кто действует, чтобы создать у жертвы ложное убеждение".

Even if that victim is themselves.

Yeah, you can lie to yourself, and we all do.

Which is pretty wild… that means one part of our brain is actually keeping information |||дива||||||||||| Eso significa que una parte de nuestro cerebro guarda información... Wat behoorlijk wild is... dat betekent dat een deel van onze hersenen eigenlijk informatie bijhoudt

from another part of our brain on a regular basis… yikes. ||||||||||ой ||||||||||ui ||||||||||Oh no ||||||||||이런 de otra parte de nuestro cerebro de forma regular... yikes.

There are a lot of different kinds of lies: We can say something that isn't true.

But we can also lie by avoiding the truth Or exaggerating the truth, the total other ||||||избегая||||преувеличивая||||| ||||||||||overstating the truth|||||

direction Or even casting doubt on truth itself |||throwing|||| |||의심을 제기하는|||| ||incluso||||| dirección O incluso poner en duda la verdad misma 方向 甚至對真理本身產生懷疑

Lies can be actions that we take Or actions that we don't take Lügen können Handlungen sein, die wir unternehmen, oder Handlungen, die wir nicht unternehmen

These are all lies.

Everyone does this.

Everyone lies.

And it's not our fault.

At least, sort of. Al menos, más o menos.

If you've been watching this channel for a while, maybe you've heard this quote before:

Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution. ||||||||||gradual development process Nichts in der Biologie macht Sinn, wenn es nicht im Lichte der Evolution betrachtet wird. Ничто в биологии не имеет смысла, кроме как в свете эволюции. 除了演化論之外,生物學中沒有任何東西是有意義的。

And that's absolutely true.

Everything that we are, everything that we do, we evolved to be this way.

And in general, traits—even psychological traits like lying—stick around for a reason. |||риси|||риси||||||| Y, en general, los rasgos -incluso los psicológicos, como la mentira- se mantienen por una razón.

And that's kind of a dark thought to consider: that lying is actually useful. Und das ist ein ziemlich düsterer Gedanke: dass Lügen tatsächlich nützlich sind.

So useful that not only did nature keep it around, it made us really good at it. Sie war so nützlich, dass die Natur sie nicht nur beibehielt, sondern uns auch richtig gut darin machte. 如此有用,大自然不僅保留了它,還讓我們非常擅長它。

So how often do people lie?

Studies on college students show they lie in a quarter of conversations with a best Los estudios sobre estudiantes universitarios demuestran que mienten en una cuarta parte de las conversaciones con un mejor

friend; half the time with acquaintances; and almost 80% of chats with strangers. |||||||||conversations|| |||||||||대화|| |||||conhecidos||||||

Lied to romantic partners in a third of conversations. Mintió a su pareja en un tercio de las conversaciones.

They even lied to their moms in half their calls home. |||||мамам|||||

Sorry mom.

Lying and deception is not limited to humans, of course. ||обман|||||||

Living things exchange all kinds of signals with each other. Lebewesen tauschen untereinander alle Arten von Signalen aus. Los seres vivos intercambian todo tipo de señales entre sí.

Sounds, colors and patterns; movements and behaviors; chemicals and molecules. |||||||||молекулы |||||||||Chemical building blocks

And they can deceive with all of them. |||trick|||| |||속이다|||| 他們可以用所有這些來欺騙。

Viruses are lying to your immune system—molecular deception. |||||||молекулярная| Pathogens|||||||| 바이러스|||||||분자| ||||||||дезінформація |||||inmunológico||molecular| 病毒正在對您的免疫系統撒謊—分子欺騙。

Parasites that control the minds of their hosts so the parasites can survive and reproduce. |||||||хозяев|||||||размножаться Mind-controlling parasites|||||||infected organisms||||||| 기생충|||||||||||||| 控制宿主思想的寄生蟲,使寄生蟲能夠生存和繁殖。

Flowers that look like female bees, to trick males into “pollinating” them. ||||||||самцов||опыляя| ||||||||||bestäuben| |||||insect pollinators|||||transferring pollen to| ||||||||||수분하는| ||||||||||опилюючи| 花朵看起來像雌性蜜蜂,可以誘騙雄性為它們「授粉」。

Camouflage? 위장 偽裝?

That's just lying with your body.

Or the beetle that covers itself in the chemical odor of a baby ant larvae, so the ants carry ||жук||укрывает|||||запах|||||личинки|||| ||insect|||||||scent||||ant larva|ant younglings|||ant larvae| ||||||||||||||유충|||| ||besouro|||||||||||larvas de formiga|as larvas|||| 或者甲蟲將自己包裹在小螞蟻幼蟲的化學氣味中,因此螞蟻攜帶

it off to the nursery, where it eats their real babies, while the ants take care of the ||||baby care area||||||||||||| ||||유치원||||||||||||| ||||berçário||||||||||||| a la guardería, donde se come a sus bebés reales, mientras que las hormigas se encargan de la 它被送到托兒所,在那裡吃掉它們真正的嬰兒,而螞蟻則照顧它們

murdering fake baby. убийство|| matando um|falsa| 謀殺假嬰兒。

All lies!

These are just a handful. 這些只是少數。

Lying is everywhere in nature.

But no other animal is capable of such a broad range of lies and deceptions as we are. ||||||||||||||обманов||| ||||||||||||||tricks||| ||||||||||||||속임수|||

Because we can verbalize… ”verbal lies”… whoa. |||вербализовать||| |||verbalisieren|||

We can speak our deception. Podemos hablar de nuestro engaño.

The average human adult can speak something like 10,000 words, and many of us can speak

far more loquaciously. ||разговорчиво ||much more talkatively ||gesprächiger ||수다스럽게 ||значно балакучіше ||locuazmente

That was kind of a humblebrag. |||||скромная похвала |||||modest self-praise |||||Selbstlob |||||겸손한 자랑 |||||скромна похвала |||||humilde presumir Eso fue un poco de humildad. Dat was een soort nederigheid. 這是一種謙虛的自吹自擂。

Which might be another form of lying!

These words can be combined in countless ways to exaggerate facts, omit them, or invent ||||сочетать||бесчисленных|||||опустить|||выдумать |||||||||overstate||||| |||||||||||무시하다|||

new ones.

No one knows when our species first developed the capacity to lie, but scientists think |||||||||способность|||||

our lying skills exploded when we developed spoken language. |||greatly increased||||| 當我們發展口語時,我們的說謊技巧就會爆發。

And thanks to language, unlike most other lying animals, we direct most of our lies ||||в отличие от||||||направляем|||| Y gracias al lenguaje, a diferencia de la mayoría de los demás animales mentirosos, dirigimos la mayoría de nuestras mentiras

at our own species, at each other.

How do we rationalize this, how do we make excuses for all this lying? |||оправдываем||||||оправдания|||| |||justify or excuse|||||||||| 我們如何合理化這一點,如何為所有這些謊言找藉口?

Think about this for a second: What do we want out of the everyday interactions we have ||||||||||||||взаимодействия|| Piense en esto por un segundo: ¿Qué queremos de las interacciones cotidianas que tenemos con los demás?

with other people?

Maybe to just be pleasant, maybe we want our opinion heard, or to give some impression

of ourselves, or maybe we want to make others feel good, strengthen our friendships, influence

people, push them to do something we want them to do, increase our status and power

by wanting people to believe we have the answers to things…

Can we cut that last one? Мы можем сократить последнее?

We all have motivations like these.

And we can act on these motivations truthfully, or deceptively. |||||||||обманчиво |||||||||with deceit |||||||||속임수로 Y podemos actuar según estas motivaciones de forma veraz o engañosa.

Most of the lies we tell are everyday white lies. Die meisten Lügen, die wir erzählen, sind alltägliche Notlügen.

And these generally fall into 5 categories:

Lies about our feelings and opinions.

"I love that shirt!

It's your color." ||color

Their plans or whereabouts; “I already donated at work. |||местонахождение||||| ||||||shared information|| |||행방|||기부했다|| |||paradero|||doné|| Sus planes o paradero; "Ya he donado en el trabajo. Hun plannen of verblijfplaats; “Ik heb al gedoneerd op het werk. Их планы или местонахождение; "Я уже пожертвовал на работе. 他們的計劃或行蹤; 「我已經在工作中捐款了。

A lot.

Our knowledge, achievements, or even our failings; “I'm a constitutional law expert on Twitter” ||достижения|||||||конституционное|||| ||||||shortcomings||||||| ||||||실수||||||| 我們的知識、成就,甚至我們的失敗; “我是推特上的憲法專家”

Explaining our actions or behaviors; "Sorry I am late, car trouble!

The rotator splint or something" |ротационный||| |Rotator|schiene|| |Rotating device splint|Supportive device|| |회전기|부목|| Die Rotatorenschiene oder so etwas" La férula rotatoria o algo así" De rotatorspalk of zoiets" 旋轉夾板什麼的”

Or personal facts or possessions; "I don't have any change, I don't even like

money"

These aren't Earth-shattering things, but they are super common. |||потрясающие|||||| |||중대한|||||| No son cosas del otro mundo, pero son muy comunes. 這些並不是驚天動地的事情,但它們非常常見。

How do we rationalize lying about stuff like this, so frequently? ||||||||||часто

When people lie, they often justify it (consciously or unconsciously) by feeling that they are |||||оправдывают||сознательно||неосознанно||||| |||||||||without realizing it||||| 當人們說謊時,他們常常(有意識地或無意識地)透過感覺自己是在為自己辯護。

protecting the target of the lie and also protecting themselves.

Thinking that both they and the target would feel worse if truth had been told rather than

lie.

In this way, lying is a form of prosocial behavior. ||||||||просьюдействующее| ||||||||beneficial to others| De este modo, mentir es una forma de comportamiento prosocial. 因此,說謊是一種親社會行為。

“Self-centered lies” are lies told to protect the liar psychologically—like saving |центрированный||||||||||| |||||||||deceptive individual|mentally or emotionally|| 「以自我為中心的謊言」是為了從心理上保護說謊者而說的謊言——就像拯救一樣

the liar from embarrassment, or disapproval, or conflict—or they're told for the liar's |||стыд||неодобрение||||||||лжеца |||||Dislike or rejection||||||||own benefit |||||불만||||||||거짓말쟁이의 說謊者因尷尬、不滿或衝突而被告知——或者他們被告知說謊者的

personal gain. beneficio personal. 私利。

"What kinda watch is that?" |какие||| "Was ist das für eine Uhr?" "Что это за часы?"

"It's a Rolex. ||Rolex ||롤렉스 ||luxury watch brand

You can't look at it" 你不能看它”

“Other-oriented lies” are kinda the opposite. |ориентированные|||||

They're also told for psychological protection, but to protect the target of the lie, not

the liar.

Trying to spare other people from embarrassment, disapproval, conflict, or from getting their 試圖讓他人免於尷尬、不滿、衝突,或無法得到他們的支持

feelings hurt.

"Aww your baby is so cute!" Аа||||| Aww||||| 아|||||

Maybe unsurprisingly, people are more likely tell self-serving lies than lies that serve |неудивительно|||||||||||| Неудивительно, что люди чаще говорят корыстную ложь, чем ложь, которая служит

others.

And people are more likely to tell self-serving lies to strangers or acquaintances, and they |||||||||거짓말||||||

tell more protective “other-oriented” lies to close friends and family.

But from the liar's point of view, both of these are kind-hearted, altruistic actions. |||||||||||||альтруистические| |||||||||||||selfless| Aus der Sicht des Lügners sind diese beiden Handlungen jedoch gutherzig und selbstlos. 但從騙子的角度來看,這兩種行為都是善良、利他的行為。

Like, in your head, you're being nice by lying. In deinem Kopf bist du nett, weil du lügst.

Most lying isn't to manipulate and exploit people. ||||||эксплуатировать| 大多數謊言並不是為了操縱和剝削人們。

No.

Most common lies are to boost self-esteem, or to protect people's feelings, or to get |||||повысить||самооценку|||||||| |||||||자존감|||||||| Am häufigsten wird gelogen, um das Selbstwertgefühl zu steigern, die Gefühle anderer zu schützen oder um

people to like us more.

According to psychologists, being honest all the time isn't always the best idea for

strengthening social bonds. укрепление||связи reforzar los vínculos sociales. 加強社會紐帶。

Which is… a lot to unpack. |||||entpacken |||||analyze in detail |||||desempaquetar Das ist... eine Menge zum Auspacken. Lo cual es... mucho que desempaquetar.

Bring that up in your next therapy session and let me know how it goes. Saca el tema en tu próxima sesión de terapia y cuéntame cómo te va. Поднимите этот вопрос на следующем сеансе терапии и дайте мне знать, как все прошло. 在你的下一次治療中提出這個問題,並讓我知道進展如何。

People do tell more serious lies, of course.

Lies that have the potential to seriously harm relationships, or that cover up fundamental Mentiras que pueden dañar gravemente las relaciones o que ocultan cosas fundamentales. 可能嚴重損害人際關係或掩飾根本的謊言

parts of their identity, or that put others in danger.

And whereas people are less likely to tell those small self-serving lies to people they И в то время как люди менее склонны говорить эту мелкую корыстную ложь тем, кого они

are closest to, they are more likely to tell large serious lies to people they are closest

to.

Which is messed up. ||Which is chaotic.| Lo cual es un desastre.

But that's because those little lies you'd tell to strangers or acquaintances to save

embarrassment or conflict, sharing those truths with people we're closest to actually strengthens неловкость||||||||||||укрепляет ||||||||||||makes stronger

those relationships.

You might tell a casual work friend that you don't mind they they stole your best knock |||||||||||||took without permission||| Podrías decirle a un amigo del trabajo que no te importa que te haya robado tu mejor golpe. 你可能會告訴一個臨時工作的朋友,你不介意他們偷了你最好的敲門聲

knock joke, and then go tell your partner that actually you do care. |||||||significant other||||| bromea, y luego ve a decirle a tu pareja que en realidad sí te importa. 開個玩笑,然後告訴你的伴侶你其實很關心。

Who's there? 誰在那裡?

Hurt feelings.

And you and your partner strengthen your bond over that.

So psychologically, it's to our advantage not to lie about little stuff to people we

value.

BUT… because we value the people we're closest to, because those relationships mean

so much to us, it actually makes it more likely that we'll tell them riskier or more serious ||||||||||||||более рискованно||| ||||||||||||||more dangerous|||

lies, because there's a lot more to lose.

It's easy to think of lying as absolutely wrong and worth condemning when we view it |||||||||||осуждения|||| |||||||||||verurteilen|||| |||||||||||criticizing harshly|||| Es fácil pensar que mentir es absolutamente malo y digno de condena cuando lo vemos

as a moral issue all on its own. ||моральный||||| como una cuestión moral en sí misma. 作為一個道德問題本身。

But it isn't an issue that exists all on its own. Pero no es un problema que exista por sí solo.

Like, we care about honesty, but we also care about love, and happiness, and not doing things ||||честность||||||||||||

that are painful or uncomfortable. ||болезненные||

We have to weigh all of these goals at the same time, and complete honesty doesn't ||||||||||||||Ehrlichkeit|

always win over those other concerns. siempre ganan a esas otras preocupaciones.

Maybe acknowledging that we care about other people's feelings, or that we are loyal |признавая|||||||||||| |anerkennen|||||||||||| |Recognizing||||||||||||

to people who depend on us, or that people's intentions are sometimes more important than |||||||||намерения|||||

their actual actions

"Aw that is a really great picture! Oh, wow||||||

I'm gonna hang that up in my office, I totally know what it is"

I mean... maybe acknowledging those things can be the moral high ground sometimes? Quiero decir... ¿quizás reconocer esas cosas puede ser a veces la moral más alta? Я имею в виду... возможно, признание этих вещей иногда может быть моральным преимуществом? Я маю на увазі... можливо, визнання цих речей іноді може бути моральним принципом? 我的意思是……也許承認這些事情有時可以成為道德高點?

It's great when love and honesty coincide, but they don't always, because relationships ||||||совпадают|||||| Отлично, когда любовь и честность совпадают, но это не всегда так, ведь отношения 當愛和誠實同時發生時,這很好,但情況並非總是如此,因為人際關係

are complicated! сложны!

And being constantly uncomfortable in that moment between the two sides, I think maybe

keeps us working hard to make our relationships better. nos mantiene trabajando duro para mejorar nuestras relaciones.

Besides these prosocial behaviors, there's another big way that people rationalize lying… ||просоциальных||||||||оправдывают| ||prosoziales||||||||| Además de estos comportamientos prosociales, hay otra gran forma en que la gente racionaliza la mentira...

and they don't do any of this consciously by the way… they look for hints that lying ||||||||||||||подсказки|| y no hacen nada de esto conscientemente por cierto... buscan indicios de que la mentira 順便說一句,他們並不是有意識地做這些事情……他們尋找說謊的暗示

is socially acceptable in that moment. ||приемлемо||| 在那一刻是社會可以接受的。

Ok, so you remember that experiment with the math problems and the money.

They did it again.

Except this time someone stands up after like 30 seconds and loudly declares “I solved ||||||||||громко|объявляет||решил |||||||||||announces with confidence||

all of them” . Obviously lying.

If you think that super-liar is not like you, if they look different, if they dress different,

they aren't in your “in group”? ¿no están en tu "grupo de confianza"? 他們不在你的「團體」裡?

It'll actually make you act more honest.

You don't want to be like them.

But if a person like you, for whatever reason or identifier, if a person in your “in group” ||||||||||идентификатор||||||| ||||||||||distinguishing characteristic|||||||

lies and gets away with it? miente y se sale con la suya? 撒謊並逃脫懲罰?

It increases the chance that you will lie too. |увеличивает|||||||

Because that person sends a signal: Lying is socially acceptable.

The key to making a lie work, even if you're lying to yourself—which, again, we do a

lot—is the person you're lying to can't spot the lie. ||||||||увидеть|| ...es que la persona a la que mientes no se da cuenta de la mentira. 很多——就是你撒謊的人無法識破謊言。

Luckily for liars (which all of us are), we are really bad at spotting lies. к счастью|||||||||||||распознавании| |||||||||||||detecting| 對於說謊者(我們所有人都是騙子)來說幸運的是,我們真的不擅長識別謊言。

Even professionals—interrogators, lawyers, Among Us Twitch streamers. ||допросчики|юристы|||| ||Vernehmer||||Twitch|Streamer ||questioners|||||live content creators Incluso profesionales: interrogadores, abogados, streamers de Among Us Twitch. 甚至是專業人士-審訊者、律師、《Among Us》Twitch 主播。

Lousy at lie-spotting. Pésimo detectando mentiras.

And that's because we have a bias to believe that what other people tell us is generally ||||||склонность||||||||||

true.

Our default assumption is that we aren't being lied to. |по умолчанию|предположение|||||||

Even though we obviously get lied to ALL the time!

Why do we err on the side of assuming something's true? |||irren||||||| |||make a mistake||||||| ¿Por qué nos inclinamos por suponer que algo es cierto?

At this point it's useful to take a look at human history.

Like all the way back. Como todo el camino de vuelta.

The human brain took the form it has today about 150,000 years ago or so.

We live a very different life than those ancestors, but we're using essentially the same hardware, ||||||||предки||||||| ||||||||forebears|||||||

and most of the same software as stone age humans. |||||программное обеспечение||||

Human brains did not evolve to be the greatest tool in the universe for the pursuit of truth, ||||эволюционировать|||||||||||поиска||

they only did what they had to do to survive.

And surviving a hundred thousand years ago involved very different choices. |||||||включало|||

Imagine you hear a predator sound in the grass. ||||хищник||||траве ||||dangerous animal nearby||||

Even if it's the wind 99 times out of 100, there's a big potential punishment for assuming ||||||||||||наказание||

it's not a predator: You could die.

But there's a low punishment, and high reward! for assuming it is actually a predator.

You might be wrong, but you're alive because your default assumption was that what you

think you heard was true.

The humans who didn't assume that got eaten, and our stone age mind is the one that survived, ||||предположить|||||||||||||выжила 那些沒想到會被吃掉的人類,而我們石器時代的思想倖存下來,

warts and all! бородавки|| Warzen|| flaws|| ¡verrugas y todo! 疣等等!

But we are carrying that stone age mind through a very different world today.

And some people aren't sure that old-school mind is cut out for the job. Y algunos no están seguros de que esa mente de la vieja escuela esté hecha para el trabajo. 有些人不確定老派的頭腦是否適合這份工作。

I am probably not the only one wondering if lying is getting worse lately. Probablemente no soy el único que se pregunta si la mentira está empeorando últimamente. Я, вероятно, не единственный, кто задается вопросом, не ухудшается ли ситуация с ложью в последнее время.

I mean, we're on the internet right now, remember? Я имею в виду, мы сейчас в интернете, помните?

Researchers did that math problem/money experiment one more time. Исследователи провели эту математическую задачу/эксперимент с деньгами еще раз.

You do your math problems, timer goes off, shred your paper, report your answers. ||||||||порви||||| ||||||||Tear up||||| 你做數學題,計時器響起,撕碎你的論文,報告你的答案。

Only this time, first you get tokens. ||||||Tokens ||||||small units Alleen deze keer krijg je eerst tokens. Только в этот раз сначала вы получаете токены. 只是這一次,你先獲得代幣。

Then you take those tokens somewhere else over there to get actual money. Dan neem je die tokens ergens anders heen om echt geld te krijgen. Затем вы берете эти токены куда-то еще, чтобы получить настоящие деньги.

This bit of distance, separation between the actual lie and the person you are cheating ||||разделение||||||||||обманываешь ||||||||||||||being unfaithful Эта небольшая дистанция, отделение между настоящей ложью и человеком, которого вы обманываете.

and getting the reward from, it made people cheat twice as much. |||награду|||||обманывать||| y obtener la recompensa de, hizo que la gente engañar el doble.

And this is kind of scary. Y esto da un poco de miedo.

We're more distant from each other these days than ever before. ||дальше||||||||

It's easier to lie when you don't have to do it to someone's face.

So is it just gonna get worse, until no one tells the truth, ever?

I actually don't think so, because luckily getting lied to really sucks! 其實我不這麼認為,因為幸運的是,被騙真的很糟糕!

Primate researcher Frans de Waal once trained monkeys so if they traded a token, they'd Примат||Франс||Ваал|||||||||жетон| ||Frans||Waal|||||||||| ape expert||Frans de Waal||Frans de Waal|||||||exchanged or swapped||| El investigador de primates Frans de Waal entrenó una vez a unos monos para que, si intercambiaban una ficha, se

get some cucumber. ||огурец

But if one monkey witnessed another monkey getting a free cucumber, the first monkey |||primate||||||||||

would throw food, and I dunno, probably throw poop too. |||||не знаю|||| |||||I don't know|||feces| tiraría comida, y no sé, probablemente también caca.

The monkey that got lied to refused to cooperate until fairness was restored. ||||||||work together||equitable treatment|| El mono al que mintieron se negó a cooperar hasta que se restableció la imparcialidad.

So other animals agree, getting lied to or cheated sucks.

And this is probably why social animals have to keep lying and cheating kind of under control.

Because if you lie and deceive too often, or too obviously, the rest of your species

won't cooperate with you, and you have less chance of surviving and passing on your genes.

But even if nature keeps lying from totally taking over, it isn't going anywhere. Pero aunque la naturaleza impida que la mentira se apodere totalmente de ella, no irá a ninguna parte. 但即使大自然不讓謊言完全佔據主導地位,它也不會消失。

Seems pretty hopeless, eh? Parece bastante desesperado, ¿eh?

I mean, I'm a scientist, I'm in the truth business, and I want my business to succeed!

Are we just doomed to lie, and be lied to? ¿Estamos condenados a mentir y a que nos mientan?

Maybe not.

Scientists did that experiment one more time, with the math problems, timer, shredder, money…

but before they started, they made the test subjects just promise not to cheat.

And those people lied less.

Just by saying they weren't going to lie.

Because instead of letting your unconscious mind drive your behavior, and all the lying

and cheating that leads to, your conscious mind weighs in, and that's enough to get y el engaño que conduce a, su mente consciente pesa, y eso es suficiente para obtener

you to lie less often.

Maybe that's all morals are. |||ethical principles| Tal vez eso es todo lo que es la moral.

Using our conscious mind, this amazingly powerful tool capable of imagining, capable of putting

us into the footsteps and minds of others and experiencing the world from their perspective, nos adentramos en los pasos y las mentes de los demás y experimentamos el mundo desde su perspectiva,

using this tool to control our actions instead of that silent, unseen, unconscious controller, |||||||||||not visible||

the one that is willing to lie so much.

I kind of love that we can succeed in that, by doing that thing that only our species

can do: by telling ourselves a story: “I will strive for truth, and try to be honest podemos hacer: contándonos una historia: "Lucharé por la verdad, y trataré de ser honesto

and maybe we can all lie less.”

I hope that's true, anyway.

Stay curious