I Accidentally Killed The Tooth Fairy ||||Dent|fée |Unintentionally|||Tooth Fairy|Tooth fairy Ich habe versehentlich die Zahnfee getötet Maté accidentalmente al Ratoncito Pérez J'ai accidentellement tué la fée des dents うっかり歯の妖精を殺してしまった 실수로 이빨 요정을 죽였어요 Przypadkowo zabiłem Zębową Wróżkę Matei acidentalmente a Fada dos Dentes Yanlışlıkla Diş Perisini Öldürdüm Я випадково вбив зубну фею 我意外杀死了牙仙子 我不小心殺死了牙仙子

- When I was seven years old, I murdered the tooth fairy, |||||||||Zahn|Zahnfee |||||||killed||tooth|fairy

and this is that story.

The year was 2001 and I had just lost my first tooth.

I was one of the first people in my class to lose a tooth |||indicates a group||||||||||

so it was a really big deal. |||||large|event or situation

Everyone was very impressed as I held my tooth up ||||||raised|||

proudly for them to see.

I imagine that's probably what Beyonce feels like |||||a superstar icon||

when she points her microphone to the crowd.

When I got home from school that day,

I showed my mom and my siblings my tooth. ||||||brothers and sisters||

That is when my mom sat me down and told me all about

this elusive tooth fairy. |hard to catch||

Tonight I was going to put my tooth under my pillow, ||||||||||under my pillow

go to sleep and then a tiny fairy was going to

sneak into my house, take the tooth, creep into||||||

and then leave me money in its place.

I had a lot of questions.

What happens if I'm not asleep when she comes?

What if I have to talk to her?

Does she speak English?

What language does she speak?

She lives in Antarctica, right? |||Antarctic region|

How many visits does she make a night? ||house calls|||||

What if she can't find my tooth?

What if my head is just too heavy for her tiny little body

to lift up? |Raise up|

What if she just forgets to come? ||||fails to remember||

Okay, listen.

I was already terrified of Santa,

a man who left me multiple gifts a year.

Don't even get me started on the man-sized rabbit |||||||||Giant bunny

who leaves me chocolate every Easter. |||chocolate treats||Easter holiday

Not a mythical creature, but I was also pretty terrified ||imaginary|living being||||||

of my mail man.

As you can tell, I was a very anxious child. ||||||||nervous|

And an equally anxious adult. ||just as||grown-up

I hated talking to people I didn't know.

I hated talking to people I did know for that matter.

I was so shy that my mom resorted to paying me |||||||turned to|||

25 cents every time I said hi back to anyone

who greeted me. |welcomed|

Instead of meeting them with this weird, awkward silence.

Back to the tooth.

When bedtime finally came, I knew there was no way |time for bed||||||||

I was falling asleep anytime soon.

Since apparently I was having company that night,

I put on my favorite pajamas and I brushed my hair |||||sleepwear|||combed||

before I went to bed.

I wanted the tooth fairy to think I was

well dressed and pretty.

Even at seven years old, I was a huge narcissist. |||||||||self-centered person

So it's the middle of the night and I've spent hours

tossing and turning. Restlessly moving||

Honestly I wanted nothing more than to just pass out

so I'd miss her completely.

Luckily at some point, I did fall asleep.

Cut to the next morning and something feels off.

I wasn't sure if it was still the middle of the night,

so I didn't open my eyes right away.

One thing I was sure about though,

there was something lodged under my back |||eingeklemmt||| |||stuck|||

that hadn't been there when I fell asleep.

I shifted my body very slightly from side to side. |moved||||Just a bit||||

Whatever was under there was hard yet soft.

It was about the size of a small body.

A fairy's body. |fairy’s|

Oh shit. |Oh no.

I was laying on top of the tooth fairy's dead body.

I literally froze in fear. ||became immobile||

Before you ask, I don't sleep with any stuffed animals ||||||||plush toy|

on my bed, this is literally the only thing

it could have been.

I realized I must have rolled on top of her while she |||||turned over||||||

was trying to take my tooth.

Oh my god, did she suffocate? |||||stop breathing

Did I break all her bones?

I had no way of knowing, but one thing I did know,

I had just killed someone.

I just killed the woman responsible for exchanging

all the world's teeth for money.

As far as I knew, I was the most recent kid on earth

to have lost a tooth.

Everyone in my class knew.

My parents knew, my siblings knew.

There was a tooth trail. ||||path of teeth

When the authorities catch wind of her disappearance, |||||||going missing

they're coming for me first.

I had to get rid of the evidence. |||||||proof

I decided that first and foremost, I was gonna need |||||most importantly||||

to make it look like the tooth fairy had shown up.

I decided I was going to take my tooth out

from under my pillow and throw it down the garbage disposal. |||||||||trash chute|waste grinder

I wasn't allowed to use the garbage disposal,

but I figured the next time my mom turned it on, ||assumed||||||||

the evidence would be destroyed forever. ||||permanently eliminated|

Next, I was gonna steal a dollar out of my dad's wallet. ||||||||||my father's|father's money holder

I was gonna take the dollar and place it under my pillow

so that way when the police showed up,

I could show them the dollar, they'd know the tooth fairy

had shown up to my house and they'd move on.

That left one more problem for me to deal with.

How was I going to dispose of this dead body |||||get rid of||||

without my mom finding out?

Looking back only now do I realize how truly fucked up |||||||||messed up|

this next train of thought was.

My first thought was to throw her body in my bathroom

trash can and cover her with toilet paper.

The more I thought about it,

I figured it was just too risky. |thought|||||

My mom would definitely see the body,

so I scratched it. ||I itched it.|

I definitely couldn't throw her body in the huge trash cans ||||||||||garbage containers

in our side yard.

For all I knew, our garbage men were huge snitches. |||||||||informers

This idea, out of the question.

She was probably too big to flush down the toilet. ||||||force down|||

Do I dump her body in the kitchen trash can? ||dispose of|||||||

My dad was always snooping around there. ||||spying or prying||

I couldn't risk her dropping the tooth fairy's

mangled, bloody body at my dad's feet like she did Severely injured|covered in blood||||||||

with the rats and birds she found in our backyard. ||rodents|||||||

Backyard.

The backyard.

That was it!

I would bury her in a shoe box in my backyard ||inter in ground||||||||

just like I did with my dead hamster Carmel. |||||||dead pet|Carmel (name)

May she rest in peace. ||||eternal tranquility

I decided I'd bury her in the exact same spot

as my hamster so that way, if the police,

I don't know, brought some sort of cadaver sniffing dog |||||kind of||cadaver||

to the house, I could assure them that the only

dead body on this property was that of a hamster.

Alibis, baby. Excuses, baby.|

Okay.

I think we've got a plan here.

I'd store her in a shoe box in my closet until sundown. |||||||||||sunset

In the dead of night, I'd take my plastic shovel |||||||||plastic digging tool

that I used to build sand castles at the beach with |||||Beach material|sand structures||||

and I'd dig a shallow grave by the fence in my backyard. ||||not deep|shallow burial site|||boundary marker|||

It was the perfect cover-up to an accidental crime. ||||concealment||||unintentional|

Throughout this entire planning process, During all of||||

I still hadn't opened my eyes.

I seriously hadn't moved a single inch ||||||small distance

in what felt like an hour.

I knew that eventually I had to open my eyes,

sit up, and put my plan into motion. |||||||into action

I had to face the facts, look straight into her cold, |||||||doğrudan|||

dead fairy eyes and finally accept what I had done.

The clock says it's 7 a.m. so it's definitely morning

at this point.

I slowly sat up, my heart beating out of my chest,

and that's when I realized the thing I had been laying on

this entire time was my own arm.

That's right, at some point during my stress-fueled slumber, ||||||||driven by stress|sleep or rest

my arm had lodged itself under my back and was now

completely numb. |Totally without feeling

From the tips of my finger to the top of my shoulder,

couldn't feel a thing.

I had been laying on my own arm for the past hour

while I devised a plan to cover up the murder ||came up with|||||||

of the tooth fairy.

I have never been so relieved in my life to know that, |||||so at ease||||||

one, I wasn't a cold-blooded murderer. ||||||killer

Two, I wouldn't have to talk to the police,

or any strange adult for that matter.

And most importantly, three, my mom wouldn't be mad at me.

When you're seven years old, there is nothing scarier ||||||||more frightening

than disappointing your parents.

Looking back, the worst part of this story is that when

I did go to look under my pillow to see what the tooth fairy

had left me, my tooth was still sitting there,

right where I had left it in a plastic zip lock bag. |||||||||Ziploc® bag||

My parents forgot that I had even lost a tooth,

and they never came to swap it out for money |||||exchange||||

like they were supposed to.

So not only was I now moneyless and exhausted, ||||||broke||worn out

but I was gonna have to go through a whole nother night ||||||||||whole other|

of waiting for the tooth fairy to show up.

Thanks mom and dad.

(jazzy music) Lively and vibrant|