제11부 유년시절의 추억, 두 번째 Part 11 Childhood Memories, Part 2

제11부 [...] 유년시절의 추억, 두 번째 Part 11 [...] Memories of childhood, second

나는 어머니의 외모에 성격은 아버지를 닮아, 평생 한 우물을 파면서도 지루한 줄을 모르는 철학자형 인간이었다. I was a philosopher-type human who didn't know how boring even though my mother's appearance and personality resemble my father. 적어도 북녘땅을 떠날 때까지는 아버지가 그랬듯이 나 역시 큰 후회도 부담도 없는 삶을 지향해왔다. Like my father before me, I have always aimed to live a life without great regrets or burdens, at least until I left the North.

형은 광주학생사건 당시 미림보통학교 6학년이었다. My brother was a 6th grader at Mirim Normal School at the time of the Gwangju student case. 그런데 이 학교에서 독립만세를 주도한 혐의로 교사들에게 붙들려 곤욕을 치렀다. He was caught by teachers at the school for leading an independence rally. 그 와중에 일본인 교장에게 곤봉으로 머리를 세게 얻어맞았다고 한다. At one point, he was hit hard on the head with a club by a Japanese principal. 형은 그 일이 있은 후 한동안 병석에 누워있었다. My brother was bedridden for a while after it happened. 그러고도 후유증으로 몇 년을 더 고생했는데, 심할 때는 며칠씩 누워 움직이지도 못했다. I suffered from the after-effects for several more years, sometimes lying in bed for days at a time, unable to move. 젊디젊은 나이로 죽기까지 형은 늘두통에 시달렸는데, 결국은 정신이 혼미해지는 병을 앓다가 내가 도쿄에서 대학을 다닐 때 죽었다. My brother had always suffered from headaches until he died at a young age, but he eventually suffered a confused illness and died while I was attending university in Tokyo.

일본으로 건너간 후로는 형을 보지 못했는데, 그동안 보내준 후원에 고맙다는 말 한마디 못하고 혈육의 따스한 정 표시 한번 못했던 터라, 그렇게 죽었다는 소식을 듣자니 가슴이 무너지는 것 같았다. I hadn't seen my brother since I moved to Japan, and when I heard that he had died, I felt like my heart was breaking because I hadn't been able to thank him for his support or show him the warmth of a blood relative. 어릴 적 우리 두 형제는 자존심이 남달리 강하다는 것 말고는 외모가 다르듯이 성격 또한 확연히 달랐다. Growing up, my two brothers were as different in personality as they were in appearance, aside from the fact that we both had very strong egos. 또 부모님으로부터 받은 사랑의 양도 서로 달랐다. They also differed in the amount of love they received from their parents. 어머니는 늘 형을 감싸고돌았고, 아버지는 나를 형과는 상대가 안 된다면서 높이 평가하고 극진히 아꼈다. My mother always circled around my brother, and my father thought I was no match for him, but he appreciated me and loved me dearly.