EPISODE 10: WHEN DID YOU LAST EXPERIENCE FEAR (3) EPISODIO 10: ¿CUÁNDO EXPERIMENTÓ MIEDO POR ÚLTIMA VEZ? EPISODE 10 : QUAND AVEZ-VOUS EU PEUR POUR LA DERNIÈRE FOIS (3) EPISODIO 10: QUANDO HAI SPERIMENTATO LA PAURA PER L'ULTIMA VOLTA (3) EPISÓDIO 10: QUANDO É QUE SENTIU MEDO PELA ÚLTIMA VEZ (3)

**Chen:** Uh-huh.

**X:** [[Panicked.]] I… I thought that sign was like, I don't know. A family crest or something? Not a… a grave marker!

**Kai:** [[Reads the plaque.]] __Honorem Lutum Sanguine__.

**Dani:** [[Translating.]] “Honor in dirt and blood?”

**Chen:** [[Disgusted.]] There's no honor in this. They're children.

**X:** [[Protectively.]] Woah, wait, you don't even know what happened here!

**Chen:** [[Calmly.]] Do you?

**X:** [[Caught off-guard.]] No! But… look, my parents were good people! There's a logical and rational explanation as to what's going on. [[Looks at Charlotte.]] Charlotte, can you tell us what happened here?

**Charlotte:** Aural recept --

**X:** __No.__ Do not even tell me your aural receptors are malfunctioning.

**Charlotte:** Find me. Find me. Find -- [[Blips. Begins to play recording of a human-sounding female voice.]] “The children are the key. But we… I need your help. The station can't survive // another incident…”

**X:** [[Frowns.]] That's the recording she played for us the other day.

**Dani:** The children are the key? The key to what?

**Kai:** [[Simply.]] Whatever they were working on.

**Chen:** Which was…? [[He looks to X to prompt her for the answer.]]

**X:** Why… is everyone looking at me? [[Voice rises slightly in pitch.]] I don't know what they were working on! [[Looks around.]] I promise!

**Chen:** That's all right. We'll start out easy. What was the Ra Initiative?

**X:** [[Looks at them like it's obvious.]] It's… just Ra.

**Dani:** [[Coaxing.]] Okay… but in what capacity? What were they doing to Ra?

**X:** [[Confused.]] No… you don't… [[Sighs.]] They weren't doing anything to him. At least, not at first.

**Chen:** [[Coaxes her to continue.]] Then… [[Pause.]] Help us understand.

**X:** They __made__ him. Ra is __the first human-made star in our galaxy__.

[[SFX: Low sound. Silence as the others digest this information. Then, everyone bursts out with several questions at once, all talking over each other:]]

**Dani:** Wait. Wait. Wait. How do you… make a star? !

**Chen:** Are you saying… your parents made Ra?! [[Frowns.]] …Wait, what does that even mean?

**X:** I wasn't actually involved with that part of the --

**Charlotte:** Do not judge us too harshly.

**Dani:** Wait -- so… what did Charlotte mean when she said the children are the key?

**X:** I don't know. I'm still --

**Dani:** [[Demanding.]] Are the bones here related to Ra somehow?

**Charlotte:** Aural receptors malfunctioning.

**Chen:** Did Ra really reach out earlier and grab the ship? How did that even happen?

**X:** I don't know. I didn't see --

**Dani:** Is Ra sentient? [[Frustrated sound.]] How is Ra sentient? That doesn't make any sense.

**Charlotte:** Would you like to live forever?

**Chen:** Does Ra have… an agenda? [[Half-laughs as he realizes how silly that question sounds. Muses:]] Can a star have an agenda?

**Dani:** Is Ra even actually a star?

**X:** Well, uh, that I can --

**Charlotte:** Triumph. Triumph. [[Blip.]] Warning. Warning. Warning.

**Chen:** Why didn't you tell us any of this earlier?

**Dani:** …Wait, what does that make you?

**X:** [[Frustrated sound.]] All right. [[Shouts.]] __Enough.__ [[The chatter (including Charlotte) ceases.]] Just… I need, like, a second.

[[Incredibly awkward pause. X takes a deep breath.]]

**X:** [[Nervous joke.]] Okay, maybe more like a million seconds. [[Sighs.]] Yeah, okay. Look… This is all… it's a little overwhelming. …And by a little, I mean a lot. [[Beat.]] I just… yes, Ra actually is a human-made star, and the humans who made him were my parents. And yes, we're… [[Carefully.]] Connected. Ra and I. But I don't think that's pertinent to whatever's happening here. I mean… [[Pause.]] It's… complicated, me and Ra. I don't even really understand it, much less know how to explain it.

**Dani:** Okay… all of that weird star stuff aside, you never noticed that your parents were slaughtering helpless children? You didn't hear, like, any screams in the night or anything?

**X:** Yeah, I don't… I guess now that I look back on it… I mean… I could have… [[Pauses.]] Wait. Are you… are you saying this is my fault?

**Dani:** No! Just… how did you not know what was going on?

**X:** I… [[Sounds defeated.]] I don't know. They said science was the portal to discovery. They said… it was good. They said I was good. I… trusted them.

[[SFX: Heartbeat, flies, high-pitched whine.]]

**Dani:** Gosh! No, I didn't mean --

**Chen:** [[Calmly.]] It's all right. We'll get this all figured out.

**X:** I'm… I'm sorry. [[Backs away.]] I just need… [[Backs away.]] Just a few minutes to process…

**Kai:** Here --

[[SFX: Heartbeat, flies, high-pitched whine increase.]]

[[SFX: X's footsteps.]]

[[SFX: Transition.]]

**SCENE 5**

[[SFX: Cavatica, Glasshouse. Waterfall is prominent.]]

**X:** [[Voice is flat.]] Day 10,321, hour 22:43. [[Pause.]] I've talked about perfection before, on this recorder… how it's an unattainable human construction, how we're obsessed with the supposition that we can be -- or become -- something that we actually can't.

The arrogance that the limited can achieve the limitless -- that something without an outer limit even can be achieved… it can't. Perfection is the shiny object atop an infinite pedestal.

I've talked about beauty, too -- especially here in the glasshouse pod, where there's so much light and warmth and abundance. Where beauty is everywhere every day, in everything from the cherry blossoms and oranges to the ferns, lilies, finches, aloe plants, spiders, hibiscus, cacti, and yes -- even the fish. [[Represses a shudder.]]

But I don't think I've ever talked about good. [[Frowns.]] You know, the force diametrically opposed to the equally vague and confusing notion of evil?

[[Pause.]] We wrap so much up into our concept of “good”-ness. Everything from the massive umbrella of ethics to the… the smallest twitch of a smile. The littlest gesture. Actions, behaviors, habits, patterns of speech, decisions, thoughts, dreams -- they all merit judgment, if you care to apply it.

Maybe that was where I failed.

Maybe I could have prevented this -- or at least some of it. If I'd have known what to look for, or what to do. If I'd have known what they were doing. Why they were doing it. What they hoped to accomplish.

[[Disgusted with self.]] But we -- or at least, I was so eager to coast along the easy route -- the loving, cared-for route -- that I didn't notice the slow disappearance of embryos from that drawer.

Or if I did notice, I didn't think to question it -- where they were going, what was happening to them.

Or… if I did question it, I stopped before my mind landed upon an answer that would be troubling, or frightening, or -- worse -- __uncomfortable__.

My mother asked me for a new specimen about every 10 months or so, give or take. It meant she was starting a new project, which was always an exciting time for our family. I would bring her one of the embryos from the drawer, and she would send me off to help my father tend the gardens.

[[Bitter.]] I thought I was helping. I thought it was okay to trust them.

I thought I was doing something… good.

And… maybe I was? [[Sighs.]] Maybe they had weighed the moral cost -- maybe they were working on curing diseases or building healthier human children or… I don't know. Un-destroying the Earth?

Maybe they were working toward… heh. [[Wryly.]] What does Caldwell Enterprises call it?... The “greater good”?

[[Pause.]] But what gets me is that, right now, I don't know. I don't know what they were doing.

[[Disgusted with self.]] Because I was doing what was easy -- blindly following orders. I should have thought to challenge them. Question them. Heck, I should have asked more questions, period. I was so focused on being a “good” little human daughter that I didn't stop to think if, in doing so, I might be serving a purpose that wasn't.

**Kai:** [[Cautiously; has been here the entire time.]] X, I really don't want to interrupt your monologue, but… aren't you being a little hard on yourself?

**X:** [[Darkly.]] Yeah. Well. Maybe it's finally time I was held accountable.

**Kai:** [[Reasonably.]] You were a child. Children trust their parents implicitly. They do what their parents tell them. Their brains aren't developed enough to discern right from wrong or to challenge authority… especially unprompted.

**X:** Maybe mine was, and I'm just a huge coward.

**Kai:** Or maybe you don't even fully understand what it is you're blaming yourself for.

**X:** [[Laughs humorlessly.]] Yeah, but I do -- the bones of seven children under the maple tree.

**Kai:** Eight. Dani found another skull.

**X:** [[Aghast.]] … You're not helping!

**Kai:** [[Firmly.]] No. I am helping. You're just not listening. Why?

**X:** Uh. Because I'm right and you're wrong?

**Kai:** No. I think it's because taking on your parents' guilt absolves them of it.

**X:** That doesn't make any sense.

**Kai:** [[Mildly.]] Doesn't it?

[[Pause.]]

**X:** [[Sighs.]] You don't have to sit here with me, you know. I know I'm not particularly entertaining right now, unless you're really into Byronic-hero-style brooding. You can go off with Chen and Dani and Charlotte and… [[Waves a hand dismissively.]] …sort bones or whatever.

**Kai:** They stopped a couple of hours ago to rest. Anyway, I… prefer it over here.

**X:** [[Looks around, smiles slightly, and nods.]] The waterfall and the orchids, right?! Super soothing.

**Kai:** Yes.

**X:** [[Musing, staring at the glass terrariums.]] Chen didn't like the spiders.

**Kai:** [[Matter-of-factly.]] They're a critical component of any ecosystem.

**X:** [[Sighs.]] That's what I said. Well, technically, I said, “Spiders are our friends,” but… that's pretty much the same thing. [[Pauses, points.]] Did you see the terrarium in the middle?

**Kai:** “Araneus cavaticus”? [[Makes the connection.]] Oh.

**X:** [[Nods.]] Yeah. She's what the Cavatica's named after. Steady. Dependable. Trustworthy. [[Pause.]] Dad used to tell me… [[Yawns hugely.]] Mmmfh. [[Blinks.]] Sorry. It's been a day.

**Kai:** Why don't you get some sleep? You need it.

**X:** [[Warily.]] Why are you being so nice to me?

**Kai:** Someone has to. And you're not being particularly nice to yourself.

**X:** [[Half-suspiciously, half-joking.]] You're not going to, like, murder me in my sleep?

**Kai:** With me, you have a one hundred percent no-murdering guarantee. [[Considers.]] Well. With a standard point-zero-one percent variable, of course.

**X:** [[Sleepily.]] Of course. Good. [[Amused.]] I was actually kind of worried that if -- when -- you came back, you'd come back evil, or with, like, amnesia or a cowboy accent or something. I'm glad you're okay.

**Kai:** Me, too.

[[Pause.]]

**X:** [[Opens one eye.]] You're __actually__ okay? I mean, you're not evil?

**Kai:** No evil. No amnesia. Just me. I promise.

[[SFX: Transition.]]

**SCENE 6**

[[SFX: Cavatica, Glasshouse. Waterfall prominent.]]

[[SFX: Deep noise, accompanied by what __might__ be a distant human male scream.]]

**X:** [[Gasps in terror, sitting up. Her hand frantically hits Kai.]] Kai? !

**Kai:** [[Reassuringly; unfazed.]] I'm here.

**X:** Did you… did you hear that?

**Kai:** Hear what?

**X:** [[Listens for a beat, then slowly lets out a shaky breath.]] Heh. Okay. I must be hearing things. Or maybe… maybe it was just another dream.

**Kai:** Likely. Hm. [[Troubled.]] You've bled through your bandages again. Should I be concerned?

**X:** [[Settles back down. Sleepily.]] Just… make sure I don't die. Okay? I wanna help out tomorrow and I can't do that if I'm dead.

**Kai:** [[Patiently, perhaps amused.]] All right.

**X:** [[Sleepily.]] It all becomes part of you, out here.

**Kai:** What does?

**X:** [[Murmurs.]] Everything. Nothing. It's all one thing. I am part of the void. I am part of all matter. I am part of them. Heh. I'm even part of you.

**Kai:** [[Carefully.]] Are you talking about the bones beneath the tree?

**X:** [[Soft considering sound.]] How could I have mistaken them for a dream? [[Laughs ruefully, then recites:]] __“The sphere, fragile and luminous, / takes flight rapidly, / bursts and spits out its flimsy soul, / like a golden dream…”__ [[Brief pause.]] Mmm. __That__ is Baudelaire again. But... I'm not sure which translation…

[[SFX: Deep noise, accompanied by a distant male human scream.]]

[[SFX: Beating heart. Flies.]]