Chapter Two. Preparing for the Trip
The next thing we discussed was food.
‘Let's start with breakfast,' George said. ‘We'll need a teapot and kettle. Oh, a frying-pan, of course, to cook bacon and eggs in. That's easy to cook. We can take cold meat, bread, butter and jam too.' Harris and I agreed.
For lunch we decided to take cold meat, bread, butter and jam again and biscuits. But not cheese. It smells too much.
I remember when I was in Liverpool with a friend, Tom. He bought two whole cheeses and asked me to take them back to London. Without thinking, I agreed. I went by train and it was a warm day. The cheeses smelt strongly and the other passengers became unhappy. First one, then another got up and moved down the train. Finally there was only one man left near me. At lunchtime I offered to buy him a drink but afterwards he changed seat too. When I arrived in London I took the cheeses to Tom's house. His wife wasn't very happy when I gave them to her. In the end she took the children and went to stay in a hotel. Tom returned from Liverpool a few days later. The first thing he saw was a note from his wife and the hotel bill. He decided he couldn't keep the cheeses: the cost of the hotel for his wife and children was too high. So he took the cheeses and threw them into the river. However, the boatmen were unhappy and pulled them out. Finally he took them to a place by the sea and left them on the beach. The place became famous. For many years people with health problems went there for the strong air. No, we shouldn't take cheese on our boat trip.
When we finished, we had a long list of things to take with us. It was late and we were all tired. We met the next evening to pack. We had a large bag for our clothes and two hampers for the food and cooking things. We moved the table in front of the window. Then we put everything in the middle of the floor. We sat and looked at it all.
I offered to pack. (I'm very good at packing. It's one of the many things I think I know more about than other people.) My friends agreed immediately. George sat in an armchair with his pipe; Harris sat on a chair and put his feet up on the table. I was a little surprised. This wasn't my idea at all. I didn't want to do all the work. I wanted to be the boss and give them instructions. Teach them. I get angry when other people are doing nothing and I'm working. I don't understand them. I can't sit down and watch someone else work. No, I have to get up and tell him what to do!
I said nothing, however. I put the bag on the table and started packing the clothes. It was a long job. At last I finished. I sat on the bag to close it.
‘What about our boots?' Harris asked. ‘You haven't put them in.'
‘Why didn't you tell me before?' I asked. I was a little angry. George started laughing.
I packed the boots. Then I thought about my toothbrush. Was it in the bag? I wasn't sure. So I took everything out. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find it. Harris and George's toothbrushes were there. Where was mine? I finally found it; in a boot! Then I packed again and closed the bag.
‘Is the soap in?' George asked.
‘I don't care if it's in or not!' I answered. It was late and I was tired. ‘Why don't you two pack the hampers?'
‘Fine!' they said. They got up and put the first hamper on the table. I sat down to watch. I looked at everything on the floor.
‘This will be interesting,' I thought to myself. I was right.
First they broke a cup. Then they put things down and couldn't find them again. Then George stood on the butter! I decided to go nearer. Without a word, I got up from my chair and sat on the table to watch. They didn't like that.
George got a spoon and took the butter off his shoe. He returned it to its paper and put it down on a chair. Then, without looking, Harris sat down. When he got up again the butter was on his trousers. He didn't know. I decided not to say anything. A little later George said:
‘That's strange! Where's the butter? I'm sure I put it on this chair!'
‘Yes, you did. I saw you,' Harris answered. They looked everywhere for it. I laughed to myself.
‘Oh, come here, you fool!' George said finally. ‘It's on your trousers!'
Montmorency was interested in what they were doing too. He wanted to be part of things. Every time Harris and George put out their hands for something, he put his cold wet nose into them. He sat on the things they wanted to pack, played with the spoons and put his leg in the jam. Then he jumped into the hamper and onto the lemons. They were in pieces before Harris ran at him with the frying-pan in his hand.
At last they finished packing. It was about one o'clock.
We were all tired and ready for bed. Harris was staying with us. He and I discussed what time to get up. We finally agreed on half past six. We asked George to wake us. He didn't answer: he was already sleeping. We put the bath near his bed then we went to bed.
Mrs Poppets woke me up the next morning. It was nearly nine o'clock! I got up quickly.
‘Harris, wake up! It's nearly nine!' I said.
‘Nine? Oh, no! It's late!' he answered. ‘Why didn't you wake me earlier?' I answered him, not very nicely. Then we both heard George sleeping. We looked at him. He was sleeping with his mouth open and was making a terrible noise.
I don't like to see other people sleeping when I'm not. People shouldn't stay in bed all day: it's bad for them. I was worried about George's health. Harris and I looked at each other and I saw he felt the same. Without saying a word to each other, we both moved towards George. Harris hit him with a slipper and I shouted in his ear.
‘Wake up, you lazy thing!' He jumped out of bed and immediately fell into the bath.
‘Who put this here?' he asked.
‘Didn't you see it last night?' I answered, surprised.
We all washed, got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. George picked up the newspaper. He turned the pages and read about the day's weather. It wasn't good: rain, storms, and cold. I don't believe what newspapers say about the weather now. I did in the past.
I remember one holiday. The first day, we read ‘heavy rain and storms today' so we decided to stay at home. Other people went out for a picnic but not us. ‘Fools!' we said and laughed. We waited all day for the rain. Of course it didn't come. The next day the newspaper said ‘warm and sunny'. ‘Ah! Good!' we thought and went out in our summer clothes. It soon got cold and started to rain. We all caught a cold and spent the holiday in bed.
That morning, after George read about the weather, we looked out of the window. It was sunny outside. No, never believe what you read.
After breakfast George left for the bank. Harris and I packed the last few things and carried everything outside. We had quite a lot of things: the large bag of clothes; another smaller bag; two hampers; rugs; coats and raincoats; umbrellas; a melon; some grapes and the frying-pan. Harris, Montmorency and I waited for a cab. None came.
Then a shop boy ran round the corner. When he saw us and all our bags he was interested and stopped. He decided to watch, stood near the house and waited. We wanted him to go away so we both looked at him with angry faces. He wasn't afraid, however, and stayed there. Then he saw another shop boy on the opposite side of the street.
‘Hey!' he shouted. ‘Come and see!' The boy came across the street.
‘What's happening?' he said.
‘They're going somewhere,' the first boy answered. Both boys stood and watched. Another boy joined them, then another. There was quite a crowd now and they were all talking about us.
‘Where do you think they're going?' one asked.
‘America, perhaps,' answered another.
‘No. They've got too many bags for America!' said a third. They couldn't decide.
Finally a cab came. We put all our bags in and got in. The boys ran behind the cab laughing and shouting. One of them threw a carrot at us for good luck.
We arrived at Waterloo station at eleven o'clock: our train was at five past. We didn't know which platform we needed. We asked someone. They didn't know. Nobody ever knows at Waterloo. One man said Platform 2, another said Platform 1. A third thought somewhere else. So we decided to ask one of the train drivers where he was going. He wasn't sure.
‘Please say you're going to Kingston,' we said. ‘We'll pay you.'
‘Well, someone has to go to Kingston,' he answered. ‘Ok, I'll do it. Give me the money.'
That's how we got to Kingston. We learnt later that the train was actually going to Devon. Passengers spent hours looking for it at Waterloo station.
Our boat was waiting at Kingston. We thanked the boatman and got in. Then, with Montmorency sitting at the front, we began our trip.
It was a beautiful day and everything was very pretty in the sun. Kingston has a long history. Julius Caesar brought his men over the River Thames here. Hampton Court, the home of Tudor and Stuart kings, is on the other side of the river. Boats waited at Kingston to carry people across the river. Some people even built houses here to be near the king.
There's a maze in the gardens at Hampton Court. Harris went there once with a cousin who was visiting from the countryside.
Harris studied a map before he went in and was sure he knew the way. They planned to go in for ten minutes before lunch. They went in and soon they met some people who were lost.
‘Come with us,' Harris said, sure of himself. ‘We're going to the centre quickly and then I'll take you all out'. They thanked him and followed. They met other people who were lost too. These people also joined them. They walked and walked.
‘This is a very long maze,' his cousin said after some time.
‘Oh, yes. It's one of the biggest,' Harris answered. Then his cousin pointed at a piece of bread on the ground.
‘Didn't we see that earlier?' he asked.
‘No!' Harris said, less sure now.
‘Yes we did!' a woman said. ‘I threw it there!' Then she said: You don't know where you are, do you? You and your map!'
It was true. They were lost. They walked round and round for a long time but they couldn't find the way out. So they shouted for help. A young gardener heard them and went into the maze to bring them out. But he was new in his job and got lost too. In the end an old gardener agreed to help them to get out. But only after his tea.
‘Yes, it's an excellent maze,' Harris said happily. ‘Let's take George there on the way back!'
