절망의 나날, 열 두 번째-108 of despair|days|twelve|two|th ||열||番目 Tage der Verzweiflung, Zwölfte - 108 Days of Despair, Twelfth - 108

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절망의 나날, 열 두 번째 of despair|days|twelve|two|th 絶望の||열|| Days of Despair, Twelfth

나는 갑작스럽게 달라진 특별 대접에 불안을 느꼈다. I|suddenly|changed|special|treatment|anxiety|felt |突然|変わった||大皿に|| 私は突然変わった特別扱いに不安を感じた。 I felt anxious about the sudden change in special treatment. 오늘은 또 무슨 일이 벌어지려고 이러나 싶어 걱정이 앞섰다. today|again|what|event|is about to happen|like this|I wonder|worry|was ahead ||||||||先行した I was worried, wondering what kind of trouble would happen today. 대접이 좋아도 걱정, 대접이 나빠도 걱정인 상황이었다. the treatment|even if it is good|worry|the treatment|even if it is bad|is a worry|was a situation おもてなし|||||| It was a situation where I was worried whether the treatment was good or bad.

찻잔을 놓기가 무섭게 핸더슨 부부가 아주 명랑한 표정을 지으며 “굿모닝 마유미”하고 들어섰다. the teacup|placing|just|Henderson|couple|very|cheerful|expression|while|good morning|Mayumi|and|entered 茶碗を置くのが怖いほど、ハンダーソン夫妻がとても明るい表情で「おはようございます、真由美さん」と入ってきた。 As soon as I set down the teacup, the Henderson couple entered with very cheerful expressions, saying, 'Good morning, Mayumi.' 고개를 끄덕이려다 보니 그 뒤로 다른 사람들 몇 명이 줄을 이어 우르르 들어왔다. my head|trying to nod|I saw|that|behind|other|people|few||line|following|in a rush|came in |||||||||列を||| うなずこうとすると、その後ろから何人かの人が続々と入ってきた。 As I was about to nod, I noticed several other people following behind them, coming in all at once. 나는 다시 불안과 공포로 눈을 감아 버렸다. I|again|with anxiety|with fear|my eyes|closed|closed 私は再び不安と恐怖で目を閉じてしまった。 I closed my eyes again in anxiety and fear. 그들은 기자들이었다. they|were journalists They were reporters.

방에 들어오자마자 그들은 사진기 셔터를 눌러대기 시작했다. the room|as soon as (they) entered|they|camera|shutter|pressing|began As soon as they entered the room, they started pressing the camera shutters. 침대에서 일어나 앉으라면 일어나 앉고 고개를 들라면 들고 눈을 뜨고 카메라를 바라보라면 보고 나는 그저 시키는 대로 했다. from the bed|get up|if (you) tell (me) to sit|||head|if (you) tell (me) to lift|lift|eyes|open|camera|if (you) tell (me) to look at|looking|I|just|(you) telling|as|did ベッドから起きろと言われたら起き、座れと言われたら座り、頭を上げろと言われたら上げ、目を開けろと言われたら目を開け、カメラを見ろと言われたら見、私はただ言われるがままでした。 When they told me to sit up from the bed, I sat up; when they told me to lift my head, I lifted it; and when they told me to open my eyes and look at the camera, I looked, and I just did as I was told. 고집을 피우며 저항할 힘도 없었고 무기력해진 상태에서 될 대로 되라며 자포자기해 버렸다. stubbornness|while|resisting|strength|was not|becoming lethargic|in a state|becoming|as it may be|let it be|giving up on myself|I did |||||無気力になった|||||| 頑固に抵抗する力もなく、無気力になった状態でどうにでもなれと自暴自棄になってしまった。 I had no strength to resist while stubbornly holding on, and in a state of lethargy, I gave up and let things be. 그 상황에서 더 이상 내가 할 수 있는 일은 없었다. that|in situation|more|beyond|I|do|possibility|being|thing|was not その状況で、これ以上私にできることはなかった。 In that situation, there was nothing more I could do.

사진을 찍어 갔으니 신문에 내 사진이 대문짝만하게 나오고 수많은 사람의 생명을 앗아간 살인마라고 지구 전체가 떠들썩하겠지. the photo|taking|I took|in the newspaper|my|photo|prominently|appearing|many|people's|lives|taking away|as a murderer|the earth|entire|will be in an uproar ||||||大きく|||||||地球|| 写真を撮ったので、新聞に私の写真が大々的に掲載され、数多くの人の命を奪った殺人鬼と地球全体が騒いでいることでしょう。 Since I took a picture, my photo will probably be splashed across the newspaper, and the whole world will be buzzing about me being a murderer who took countless lives. 북조선에서는 물론 입을 다물겠지. in North Korea|of course|mouth|will be kept shut ||口を| 北朝鮮ではもちろん口を閉ざすでしょうね。 Of course, in North Korea, they would keep their mouths shut. 평양에 있는 다른 식구들이야 알 길이 없겠지만 앙골라에 무역부 수산 대표로 나가 계시는 아버지는 신문에 실린 내 사진을 보실 지도 모른다. in Pyongyang|is|other|family members|know|way|not|in Angola|trade department|fisheries|as a representative|going out|is|father|in the newspaper|published|my|photo|might see|possibly|not know ||他の|||||||||||||||||| 平壌にいる他の家族は知る由もないが、アンゴラに貿易部水産代表として出かけている父は、新聞に掲載された私の写真を見るかもしれない。 Other family members in Pyongyang may not know, but my father, who is serving as the fisheries representative of the Ministry of Trade in Angola, might see my photo published in the newspaper. 그렇게 귀엽게만 키우던 딸이 살인마라는 제목 아래 실린 사진을 보시면 아버지의 심정이 어떨까? like that|only cutely|was raising|daughter|as a murderer|title|under|published|photo|if you see|father's|feelings|how would it be ||||殺人鬼という|タイトル||||||| あんなに可愛く育てていた娘が殺人鬼というタイトルの下に掲載されている写真を見れば、父親の心境はどうだろう？ What would my father's feelings be if he saw a photo of his daughter, whom he raised so lovingly, under the headline of 'murderer'? 생각만 해도 가슴이 미어질 것 같았다. just thinking|even|heart|breaking|thing|seemed |||裂ける|| 考えただけで胸が張り裂けそうでした。 Just thinking about it made my heart ache. 제발 아버지가 그 신문을 못 보시길 빌었다. please|my father|that|newspaper|not|see|I prayed I prayed that my father would not see that newspaper.

가족들 생각에 괴로워하고 있는데 이번에는 또다시 남조선에서 왔다는 사람들이 그곳 경찰의 안내를 받으며 몰려들었다. family|in thought|suffering|is|this time|again|from South Korea|who came|people|there|police|guidance|receiving|flocked in ||||||南朝鮮で||||||| 家族を思い悩んでいるところに、今度はまた南朝鮮から来たという人たちが、そこの警察の案内で押し寄せてきた。 While I was suffering from thoughts of my family, once again, people claiming to be from South Korea gathered there under the guidance of the local police. 나는 남조선이라는 말만 듣고도 혹시 이 사람들이 나를 남조선에 데려 가려고 왔는가 하여 지레 겁을 먹었다. I|South Korea|word|hearing|perhaps|these|people|me|to South Korea|take|intending to||so|unnecessarily|fear|was scared |||||||||||||あらかじめ|| 私は南朝鮮と聞いただけで、もしかしてこの人たちが私を南朝鮮に連れて行くために来たのかと、ぞっとした。 Just hearing the word South Korea made me fear that these people might have come to take me to South Korea. 온몸에 소름이 오싹 끼치고 손끝까지 파르르 떨렸다. all over my body|goosebumps|chilling|giving|to my fingertips|trembling|was shaking ||||指先まで|| 全身に鳥肌が立ち、指先までゾクゾクとした。 I was covered in goosebumps and my fingertips trembled. 나도 모르게 눈물이 자꾸 쏟아졌다. I|unknowingly|tears|repeatedly|were falling Tears kept flowing without me even realizing it. 그들이 방에 들어왔을 때 나는 그들과 눈이 마주치는 것을 피해서 눈을 꼭 감고 오른쪽 손등으로 눈물을 닦으며 얼굴을 가렸다. they|in the room|entered|when|I|with them|eye|meeting|thing|avoiding|eyes|tightly|closing|right|with the back of my hand|tears|wiping|face|covered |||||||||||||右の||||| When they entered the room, I avoided making eye contact with them, tightly closed my eyes, and covered my face with the back of my right hand to wipe away my tears. 옆에 있던 필리핀 간호사가 이 중에 아는 사람이 있는가 보라며 내 손을 치우려 했다. next to|was|Filipino|nurse|this|among|knowing|person|is there|saying to me|my|hand|to move|tried |||||||||見ると|||片付けよう| 隣にいたフィリピン人看護師が、この中に知り合いがいるのか見てみろと私の手を片付けようとした。 The Filipino nurse next to me tried to remove my hand, asking if I recognized any of them. 나는 간호사의 손을 완강히 거부하면서 더욱 격렬하게 울었다. I|nurse's|hand|stubbornly|rejecting|more|violently|cried ||||||激しく| 私は看護師の手を頑なに拒否し、さらに激しく泣きました。 I firmly rejected the nurse's hand and cried even more violently.

하루하루가 지옥이었고 순간순간이 고통의 연속이었다. each day|was hell|each moment|of pain|was a continuation 毎日が地獄で、一瞬一瞬が苦痛の連続でした。 Every day was hell, and every moment was a continuous agony. 그들은 나에게 아무 말도 시키지 않았지만 마치 동물원에 구경 온 사람들처럼 나를 자세히 여기저기 뜯어보고 관찰한 다음 돌아갔다. they|to me|any|words|made|not|as if|at the zoo|visiting|coming|like people|me|closely|here and there|examining|observing|after|left ||||||||||||||見ていた||| 彼らは私に何も言わせなかったが、まるで動物園に見物に来た人たちのように、私をじっくりとあちこち見て、観察してから帰っていった。 They didn't say anything to me, but they observed me closely, as if they were visitors at a zoo, and then left. 그들이 나간 뒤 나는 그들에게 혹시 무슨 꼬투리가 될 만한 부분이 없었는가 하고 그들이 뚫어지게 관찰하던 몸 부위를 슬며시 훑어보았다. they|left|after|I|to them|perhaps|any|incriminating evidence|be|worthy of|part|was not|and|they|intently|observing|body|part|subtly|glanced over 彼らが出て行った後、私は彼らに何かポッドになりそうな部分がないかと、彼らがじっと観察していた体の部分をそっと見てみた。 After they left, I subtly scanned the parts of my body that they had been staring at, wondering if there was anything that could be a point of contention. 특별히 그럴만한 것은 없는 것 같았다. particularly|worthy of that|thing|not|thing|seemed 特にそのようなものはないようでした。 It didn't seem like there was anything particularly noteworthy. 남조선 사람들을 보내고 나서 핸더슨이 다시 돌아왔다. South Korean|people|sending|after|Henderson|again|returned After sending the South Koreans away, Henderson returned.

“마유미가 자꾸 울기만 하니까 남조선 사람들이 그냥 돌아가잖아. Mayumi|repeatedly|only crying|because|South Korean|people|just|are leaving "Mayumi keeps crying, so the South Korean people just leave." 왜 그 사람들을 무서워하지?” why|that|people|are afraid "Why are you afraid of those people?"

핸더슨은 한층 더 의혹에 찬 눈으로 나를 바라보았다. Henderson|more|more|suspicious|filled with|with eyes|me|looked at |||疑いに|||| ハンダーソンはさらに疑いの目で私を見つめた。 Henderson looked at me with even more suspicion.

“남조선 비행기가 사고났는데 왜 그 사람들이 나를 만나러 오는 거죠? South Korean|airplane|had an accident|why|those|people|me|to meet|coming|is "A South Korean plane had an accident, so why are those people coming to see me?" 아무 관계가 없다는데도 자꾸 그 죄를 나에게 둘러씌우려 하니 어떻게 무섭지 않겠어요? any|relationship|doesn't exist|repeatedly|that|crime|to me|trying to pin|so|how|not scary|wouldn't be |||||||かぶせよう|||| Even though it has nothing to do with me, they keep trying to pin that crime on me, how can I not be scared? 난 정말 억울해요.” I|really|feel wronged I really feel wronged.

나는 둘러댔다. I|was circling around |言い訳をした 私は振り向いた。 I made an excuse.

핸더슨도 가고 나니 남조선 사람들 때문에 긴장했던 탓인지 피로가 엄습해 왔다. Henderson|leaving|after|South Korean|people|because of|was tense|perhaps|fatigue|overwhelming|came ハンダーソンも行った後、南朝鮮の人々で緊張していたせいか、疲労が襲ってきた。 After Henderson left, perhaps due to the tension caused by the South Koreans, fatigue began to overwhelm me. 기진맥진해 깜박 잠이 들었다. exhausted|briefly|sleep|fell asleep 疲れ果てて|ふと|| 疲れ果ててうとうと眠ってしまった。 I was exhausted and dozed off. 평양을 떠난 이후에 단 하루도 편안한 잠을 자 본 적도, 맛지게 음식을 먹어 본 적도 없었다. Pyongyang|left|after|only|day|peaceful|sleep|to sleep|having|experience|deliciously|food|eating|having|experience|did not have ||以後||||||||||||| 平壌を離れてから、一日も安眠したことも、美味しいものを食べたこともなかった。 Since leaving Pyongyang, I hadn't had a single day of peaceful sleep or enjoyed a good meal. 늘 긴장해서 불안에 떨고 촉각을 곤두세운 채 지내 왔다. always|tense|in anxiety|trembling|senses|heightened|state of|living|have been いつも緊張して不安に震え、触覚を研ぎ澄まされながら過ごしてきた。 I had been constantly tense, trembling with anxiety, and on high alert. 사건을 저지르고는 더 말할 것도 없이 초긴장 상태였기 때문에 내 몸은 최악이었다. the incident|having committed|more|to talk|thing|without|extreme tension|was in a state|because|my|body|was in the worst condition |||||||||||最悪だった 事件を起こした後は、言うまでもなく超緊張状態だったので、私の体は最悪でした。 Having committed an incident, there was no doubt I was in a state of extreme tension, so my body was in the worst condition. 거기에 독약을 마셨고 혀를 깨물었으니 초죽음이 된 형편이었다. there|poison|drank|tongue|biting|near death|was|situation |||||超死ぬ|| それに毒を飲んで舌を噛んでしまったので、超死にかかっているような状態だった。 He had drunk poison and bitten his tongue, so he was in a state of near death. 깜빡 잠이 들었는데 또다시 사람들 말소리가 들려 깨어보니 이번에는 일본 사람들이었다. I briefly|sleep|was|again|people|voices|heard|when I woke up|this time|Japanese|were うっかり眠ってしまったのですが、またまた人の話し声が聞こえてきて目を覚ますと、今度は日本人でした。 I dozed off for a moment, but when I woke up again, I heard voices, and this time they were Japanese. 오늘 하루만도 세계 각국의 사람들을 다 만나는 셈이었다. today|for just one day|world|of each country|people|all|meeting|was |たった一日|||||| In just one day, it felt like I had met people from all over the world.

나레이션 : 대남공작원 김현희의 고백, 랑독에 박수현이였습니다. narration|South Korean agent|Kim Hyun-hee's|confession|in the dialogue|was Park Soo-hyun Narration: The confession of South Korean agent Kim Hyun-hee, it was Park Soo-hyun.