Friends S04E02 1d
Wow. That ripped. That ripped real nice! How many times do I have to tell you? You turn and slide. Turn and slide. You don't turn and slide. You throw it out! I get tetanus shots every time I get dressed! We're not throwing it out. I built it with my own hands! How about we sell it? All right. But you'll have to tell them. Can we stick you in another cabinet? They seem all right with it! The One with the Cat Hey, why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Why? Because you have doody on your head. Yeah, it was funnier when Ben told it. Hey, Monica. It's Chip. Who's Chip? It was good running into you today. My number is 555-9323. Give me a call. "Chip" is Chip Matthews. The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why's he calling you? Because I ran into him at the bank. He is still so cute. You're so lucky! He's like the most popular guy in school! I know! Chip? Hi, it's Monica. Oh, my God! We just had the best conversation! I was just leaving. Good. I've got a report to read. It's eight pages. I hope I don't fall asleep. Why? Did you write it? Look at that! Chip Matthews called. I wonder what he wants. Well, actually.... I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy. Why don't you give him a call? -Are you sure you want to hear this? -I'm sure. Chip! Hi, it's Rachel. Rachel Greene. You left me a message? Yes, you did. My roommate wrote it down. Monica Geller? Oh, that's right! He called to ask out Monica. That's got to be embarrassing. Dumb drunken bitch Thank you! Here's a question. Where'd you get the "finest oak east of the Mississippi"? First tell us where you got the prettiest lace in the land. It's your ad. Looks good? "Stunning entertainment center, fine Fine ltalian craftsmanship." You're selling the entertainment center? Why? I love it. -You want it? -No. Gepetto? Five thousand dollars? Are you insane? The ad alone cost $300. I'm changing it to $50 or your best offer. What kind of profit is that? And you call yourself an accountant? What do you do? I can't believe you don't know. I actually don't know. Oh, my God, no! Shoo, kitty! There's a kitty in my guitar case. Everyone's gonna want one. Come on, you! Crazy! -Oh, my God! -What? Nothing. What's wrong? I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my mother. The mom you met in Montauk? She was a cat? That makes the fact that she owns beach-front property all the more impressive. No. She was a human lady. This is the spirit of my mom, Lilly. The one that killed herself. Have you been taking your grandmother's glaucoma medicine again? No, Dr. Skeptismo. I'm sure. First of all, there's the feeling. And for another, she went into my guitar case... ...which is lined with orange felt. My mother's favorite fish was orange roughy. Cats like fish. You had me with orange felt. Hi, Mommy! I haven't seen this smile in 17 years. -Phoebe's mom's got a huge pair of -Let it go! When were you going to tell me that you're dating Chip? Now? Can I go out with him? No. I can't believe you'd want to after what he did to me. That thing at the prom? I couldn't find him for hours! He was having sex with Amy Welsh! That was in high school. How can it still bother you? Oh, yeah, you're right, Moni-cow. Okay, I hear you. Why do you have to go out with Chip? We went to different schools. We went to the same school. You went to one where you were popular. You rode on Chip's motorcycle and wore his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform that was specially made. They had that specially made? It was a Home Ec project. Oh, my God! They said it was for the mascot. Back then I thought that I'd never get to go out with a Chip Matthews. Now he's called me up and asked me out. The fat girl inside me really wants to go. I owe her this. I never let her eat. -You go out with him. -Really? If possible, could you leave him and have sex with another guy? I'll try. Any luck getting rid of the entertainment center? There were a couple calls, but they won't work out. Joey has a very careful screening process. Not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails. Stop it! She keeps trying to get away. Just like when she was alive. How long is your mom going to be with us? I'm not sure. I guess until she gets used to the fact that there's... ...a new mom. Now she's worried that she'll be replaced. That's not going to happen, is it? I have to go make a call. Why not use this phone? I'm returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. Anyway, I don't want to do it in front of someone with a tail. Hey, you swore you would never tell. So am I crazy, or does Phoebe's mom remind anyone else of a cat? Ross, don't start. You actually believe there's a woman inside that cat? I believe it. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you You know what? You won't suck me into this. Sure I will. Because you always have to be right. I do not always have Okay, okay. Jurassic Park could happen. And you know what? Actually, I do think Kirk was smarter than Spock. You were kidding about the Kirk-Spock-thing, though, right? That's pretty nice. "Pretty nice"? Pardon my roommate. He wanted to marry this. We don't have $50. But would you trade for it? We got a canoe. I don't think we need a canoe. You got to take it. Just take the entertainment center. Then when you get home, throw the canoe away. We're not throwing it away. I built it. Good for you! You won't believe what I found on a telephone pole. Look familiar? Apparently Phoebe's mother also goes by the name "Julio." Wait a minute. This is not the same cat. This cat's only this big. A little girl's looking for this cat. Know what that means? Yeah! $200 reward split five ways! Do we have to tell her? -Yes, we do. -But it's made her so happy. Little girl misses her cat. Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. I have to go have dinner with my son. Can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her? Thank you. I hate when Ross is right. He is right, isn't he? This might be one time when he's wrong. -You think? -Oh, no. He's right.
