Šta da radite kad nemate PODRŠKU NAJBLIŽIH? Was sollten Sie tun, wenn Sie nicht die Unterstützung Ihrer Nächsten haben? What should you do when you don't have the support of those closest to you?

Dragi moji, dobro mi došli!

Ja sam Slavica i ovo je moj YouTube kanal.

Ovde možete svakog četvrtka da dobijete savete

kako da kreirate život i posao koje ćete da obožavate.

I baš zbog toga, ljudi me često pitaju

Kako, Slavice, ja da

kreiram svoj život i da ostvarim svoje snove I create my life and make my dreams come true

kad ja nemam podršku od onih koji su mi najdraži? when I don't have the support of those who are dearest to me?

Jako često se to pitanje ponavlja This question is repeated very often

kako na YouTube-u ili na mojim both on YouTube or on mine

društvenim mrežama, tako i social networks, as well

isto uživo, kada imam priliku da radim sa klijentima individualno. also live, when I have the opportunity to work with clients individually.

I ja ću vam danas zbog toga dati nekoliko ideja And that's why I'm going to give you a few ideas today

šta je to što možete da radite what is it that you can do

i kako možete da radite na ostvarenju svojih snova

bez obzira na podršku regardless of support

koju imate ili kako možete da pridobijete which you have or how you can obtain

više podrške za sebe. more support for yourself.

Pod broj jedan, kada postavim pitanje: Ok, čija ti je podrška Under number one, when I ask the question: Ok, whose support is yours

najpotrebnija, a nemaš je? the most necessary and you don't have it?

Obilno, pošto su žene najviše moji klijenti, čujem Abundantly, since women are mostly my clients, I hear

"Pa moj partner me ne podržava". "Well my partner doesn't support me".

Kada postavim precizna pitanja i pitam: When I ask specific questions and ask:

Zna li on kako može da te podrži?

Šta je to što je tebi konkretno potrebno od njega? What is it that you specifically need from him?

najčešće se u stvari ispostavi most often it actually turns out

da žene i ne izraze konkretno šta im je potrebno that women do not specifically express what they need

nego više onako zvocaju rather they sound like that

parteru: "Ti me ništa ne podržavaš" Parteru: "You don't support me at all"

"Ti nikad nisi tu za mene"

"Ti ovo ne... ti ono ne..."

I onda ih ja posavetujem da sednu i da razmisle:

šta u stvari hoće da postignu

i šta im u stvari nedostaje

i kako partner može da ih podrži.

Jako često se iza toga: "Ja nemam podršku",

krije, na primer, to da nemaju

podršku partnera da preuzme neke poslove i neke odgovornosti partner's support to take on some tasks and responsibilities

njihovog zajedničkog života na sebe of their life together on themselves

ponekad je to u pitanju finansijska podrška sometimes it is financial support

a ponekad im prosto nedostaje to da and sometimes they just miss that yes

partner ceni ono što one rade.

I zato ja uvek predlažem da se to jasno definiše. And that's why I always suggest that it be clearly defined.

Da sednu i da napišu: To sit down and write:

šta je to što bi one volele

da partner od njih preuzme for the partner to take over from them

i najčešće u praksi and most often in practice

imamo taj sindrom da partner bude iznenađen we have this syndrome that the partner is surprised

i kaže: Pa nema problema, što ne kažeš?

Kad muškarac voli ženu

on onda kaže: Pa što ne kažeš?

Pa nije problem, uradiću ja to.

Samo, oni ne znaju šta treba da urade da bi nas podržali It's just that they don't know what to do to support us

ako im mi to ne kažemo. Znači jako je važno if we don't tell them. So it is very important

da sednete i da razmislite: šta biste voleli da on preuzme, to sit down and think: what would you like him to take over,

i kako biste voleli da vas tačno podrži and exactly how you would like it to support you

koje poslove da preuzme, what jobs to take on,

onda novac, koji vam je potreban možda,

da mu kažete koliko novca, šta vam stvarno treba to tell him how much money, what you really need

i na kraju krajeva, šta biste vi voleli da on ceni and ultimately, what would you like him to value

i kako biste znali da ceni?

Znači, šta tražite od njega da on So, what are you asking him to do?

uradi, vaš partner, bilo da je muško ili žensko, do, your partner, whether male or female,

da biste vi znali da ceni ono što vi radite? to let you know that he appreciates what you do?

Jer nekad ljudi kažu da im je to podrška Because sometimes people say that it is their support

kad ceni, kad zna šta rade. when he appreciates, when he knows what they are doing.

S druge strane, nekad se dešava da prosto On the other hand, sometimes it just happens

snovi koje mi hoćemo da ostvarimo su the dreams we want to realize are

našim partnerima jako nepoznati. very unknown to our partners.

Ja to znam iz ličnog iskustva.

Ja kada sam želela da postanem NLP trener i da dam otkaz

u Nemačkoj, na rukovodećem mestu u prodaji, in Germany, in the leading position in sales,

u jednoj zaista uspešnoj firmi, gde sam in a really successful company, where I am

imala odličnu platu, službeni auto, had a great salary, a company car,

asistenta... sve ono što se može poželeti, assistant... everything you could want,

moj tadašnji suprug je my then husband is

stavio ovako ruke na glavu put his hands on his head like this

i rekao: Ti upravljaš naš život u katastrofu. and said: You are directing our life into disaster.

I ja sam se isto osećala loše. Ja vas potpuno razumem I felt bad too. I understand you completely

Osećala sam se loše i osećala sam se da nemam podršku

ali ono što danas znam, kada sam 20 godina pametnija but what I know today, when I'm 20 years smarter

je da on jednostavno nije razumeo šta je to NLP is that he simply did not understand what NLP was

šta ja to u stvari hoću,

šta ja želim da ostvarim?

Ne razume to!

To mu je bilo potpuno strano. It was completely foreign to him.

Ne zna nikoga ko se bavi tim NLP-om i ko je trener He does not know anyone who deals with that NLP and who is a trainer

a naročito da to radi u Srbiji, gde sam ja želela da radim,

i jako mu je teško da podrži nešto and it is very difficult for him to support something

u šta ne može da veruje which he cannot believe

jer ne zna šta je. because he doesn't know what it is.

I zaista, ono što svakome od vas mogu da And indeed, what I can give to each of you

preporučim je da informišete svog partnera što više o tome šta hoćete da postignete I recommend that you inform your partner as much as possible about what you want to achieve

ali, ako i to ne pomaže, but if that doesn't help,

nemojte koristiti svog partnera

i nedostatak njegove podrške and the lack of his support

da ne ostvarite svoje snove not to achieve your dreams

zato što,

ipak ja najčešće u praksi otkrijem da su to izgovori. however, I most often find in practice that these are excuses.

"Eto ja jadna nisam uspela" "There, poor me, I didn't succeed"

"da ostvarim svoje snove i ne mogu da uspem"

"zato što me partner ne podržava".

U redu je da je to teško,

ali pitajte sve one koji su ostvarili svoje snove

retko ko će vam reći: hardly anyone will tell you:

"Nisam ja mnogo mrdala" "I didn't move much"

"eto, svi su mi samo pomogli" "there, everyone just helped me"

"i tako se sve ostvarilo". Nema tih takvih, verujte mi! "and that's how everything came true". There are none like that, believe me!

Vi morate da preuzmete odgovornost za ostvarenje svojih snova You have to take responsibility for making your dreams come true

to je moj najvažniji savet za vas: that's my most important advice for you:

preuzmite same odgovornost take responsibility yourself

za vaše snove i za njihovo ostvarenje for your dreams and for their realization

i uradite vi sve što je potrebno da ih ostvarite. and you do whatever it takes to make them happen.

Znači, ako treba da ustanete sat vremena ranije So, if you have to get up an hour earlier

da biste nešto uradili

u pravcu ostvarenja svojih snova, in the direction of realizing your dreams,

onda ustanite sat vremena ranije. then get up an hour earlier.

Ako treba da legnete sat vremena kasnije,

legnite sat vremena kasnije. go to bed an hour later.

Ako vam nedostaje vreme zato što peglate čarape, If you're running out of time because you're ironing socks,

onda prestanite da ih peglate. then stop ironing them.

Znači, prestanite da radite neke stvari koje niko od vas ne traži! So, stop doing some things that no one asks you to do!

Osim vi same što tražite od sebe. Except for what you ask of yourself.

Znači, sedite i razmislite:

šta biste rekli svom partneru?

Šta možete same da uradite?

Šta možete da uradite na dnevnoj bazi? What can you do on a daily basis?

Snovi se ne ostvaruju, drage moje, preko noći, Dreams don't come true, my dear, overnight,

Snovi se ostvaruju tako što se svakoga dana Dreams come true by doing them every day

radi sve ono što je potrebno do whatever it takes

da biste jednoga dana ostvarili svoj san. to make your dream come true one day.

To znači da vi morate

prvenstveno da preuzmete odgovornost primarily to take responsibility

i pomerite svoj zadnji trap and move your rear derailleur

u pravcu svojih snova!

Vi! Neće to niko za vas da uradi!

A kada to uradite, polako će doći i podrška.

Jer će ljudi videti da ozbiljno mislite. Because people will see that you are serious.

Jer često, na primer, posledica neprihvatanje i nepodržavanje Because often, for example, the consequence is non-acceptance and non-support

partnera je to što

jedna osoba hoće ovo, pa sutra hoće ono... one person wants this, then tomorrow he wants that...

i onda partner prosto izgubi strpljenje and then the partner simply loses patience

i kao: "Ma da, opet imaš nešto... Ma da, važi, dogovoreno"... and like: "Yes, you have something again... Yes, it's valid, agreed"...

I to je često slučaj i sa okruženjem. And this is often the case with the environment.

Ako razmislite o tome da li se to dešavalo ranije If you think about whether this has happened before

sa vama: te hoćete ovo, te sutra hoćete ono, pa sutra ovo... with you: you want this, then tomorrow you want that, then tomorrow this...

onda ljudi možda nemaju više strpljenja.

Zato je važno da vi razmislite dobro o svojim snovima. That is why it is important that you think carefully about your dreams.

i da prvo pokrenete sebe, and to start yourself first,

prvo dobijete svoju podršku. get your support first.

Najvažnija osoba koja može da vas podrži na putu ostvarenja vaših snova ste VI! The most important person who can support you on the way to realizing your dreams is YOU!

I ako vi nemate svoju podršku, And if you don't have your support,

onda ne možete očekivati od

drugih ljudi podršku. Ako vi zaista

ne stavite sve na kartu

toga da kažete: "JA hoću"

"da promenim svoj život! Ja hoću da ostvarim svoje snove".

"To je ono što meni važno i zato sam spremna" "That's what's important to me and that's why I'm ready"

"da ustajem ranije, da radim duže..." "to get up earlier, to work longer..."

"da se odreknem nekih stvari" "to give up some things"

"i kada to dovoljno dugo radim, ljudi će to videti i podržati me". "and when I do it long enough, people will see it and support me".

Opet još jedna stvar koja je važan savet za vas Again one more thing which is an important tip for you

Nađite ljude koji će vam dati podršku. Razmislite... Find people to support you. Think...

Ko su ljudi sa kojima vi provodite vreme?

Kaže se da smo mi, u stvari,

prosek od pet ljudi sa kojima provodimo najviše vremena. the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

S kim provodite najviše vremena? Jesu li to uspešni ljudi? Who do you spend the most time with? Are they successful people?

Jesu li ostvarili svoje snove? Did they achieve their dreams?

Ili su to ljudi koji vam crpe energiju, Or are they people who drain your energy,

kukajući na svoj život, na svoje okruženje, na svoj posao, whining about your life, your environment, your job,

na svoje muževe i na šta ja znam sve? to my husbands and to what I know everything?

Okružite se ljudima Surround yourself with people

koji su uspešni, koji su srećni, who are successful, who are happy,

i koji će učiniti and who will do

da budu vaš uzor. to be your role model.

Koji će moći da budu Who will be able to be

primer za vas. an example for you.

I koji će vas možda podržavati And who may support you

sa strane. Možda to nisu vaši najbliži. on the side. Maybe they are not your closest ones.

Ali na neki način će vam dati podršku. But in a way it will support you.

Znači, jako je važno,

budite pažljivi u odabiru ljudi sa kojima provodite vreme. be careful in choosing the people you spend time with.

Naravno sa vašim najbližima, ne možete sad da ih zamenite. Of course with your loved ones, you can't replace them now.

Ali možete da im kažete šta vam treba

veoma jasno, veoma konkretno, very clear, very specific,

hrabro i ljubazno kažite: boldly and kindly say:

"Ja želim da ostvarim to i to u sledećih par godina". "I want to achieve that and that in the next couple of years".

"Jako mi je važna tvoja podrška". "Your support is very important to me".

"i od podrške mi je važno da uradiš to, to i to". "and from support, it is important to me that you do this, this and that".

Znači, veoma jasno, veoma konkretno.

Muškarci su konkretna bića, njima treba reći tačno

šta mi hoćemo. what do we want

Jer oni ne mogu da izvuku iz toga kad mi kažemo: Because they can't get out of it when we say:

"Jao, ti me ne podržavaš"

"Eto, ja bih..." ne znam šta, "a ti me ne podržavaš". "There, I would..." I don't know what, "and you don't support me".

Onda se oni samo osećaju napadnuto Then they just feel attacked

i hoće da se brane. and they want to defend themselves.

I onda imamo konflikt.

Izbegnite konflikt tako što ćete biti Avoid conflict by being

veoma jasni, veoma precizni, veoma konkretni,

i tražite ono što vam treba.

I pokažite da mislite ozbiljno, tako što ćete se pomeriti And show you mean business by moving

tako što ćete vi uraditi sve što treba. so that you will do everything that needs to be done.

Znači, preuzmite odgovornost za svoje snove, So take responsibility for your dreams,

nemojte dozvoliti da vam izgovori upropaste život. don't let excuses ruin your life.

Jer 90 % ljudi

verujte mi, 90% ljudi

mnogo više energije ulaže da nađu izgovore, nego da nađu način. they invest much more energy in finding excuses than in finding a way.

Uložite svu svoju energiju da nađete način.

Da ostvarite svoje snove. To make your dreams come true.

Jer to su vaši snovi, vaš život, vaša odgovornost. Because these are your dreams, your life, your responsibility.

Ne mora niko da vas podrži da biste ostvarili svoje snove! No one needs to support you to make your dreams come true!

Ja iz iskustva mogu da vam kažem. I can tell you from experience.

Ljudi koji su bili moji prijatelji People who were my friends

u vreme kada sam ja želela da dođem u Srbiju i da budem at a time when I wanted to come to Serbia and stay

NLP trener, su mislili da sam ja skrenula s uma. NLP trainer, they thought I was out of my mind.

Muž je mislio da upravljam naš život u katastrofu. My husband thought I was steering our life into a disaster.

Svi su mislili da sam blesava Everyone thought I was silly

da nisam normalna, da to nešto nije normalno.

Ok, ja sam znala šta hoću. Ok, I knew what I wanted.

Znala sam da neće biti lako, znala sam da će trajati dugo, I knew it wouldn't be easy, I knew it would take a long time,

ali sam znala još jednu stvar: but I knew one more thing:

uradiću sve što je potrebno, makar me to ubilo. I will do whatever it takes, even if it kills me.

Uradiću sve što je potrebno. I will do whatever it takes.

I danas, 20 godina kasnije,

vi možda mislite: "Lako je Slavici" you might think: "It's easy for Slavica"

ali ja znam kako mi je bilo poslednjih 20 godina

nije mi uvek bilo lako. it wasn't always easy for me.

Ali je toliko vredno But it is so worth it

što sam ostvarila svoj san that I made my dream come true

da bih opet sve ponovo. to do it all over again.

Znači, nemojte dozvoliti sebi da vam izgovori upropaste život So, don't let yourself talk about ruining your life

nego razmislite:

kada sebi izgovorite nešto

razmislite da li je to izgovor? think is that an excuse?

Ili je to stvarno tako?

i verovatno će vam pasti: "Pa jeste, to je stvarno tako!" and you will probably say, "Well, it is, it really is!"

Ok, razmislite onda ovako, postavite sebi pitanje: Ok, then think like this, ask yourself a question:

Šta je to što ja mogu da uradim danas? What is it that I can do today?

Makar jedan mali, najmanji korak. At least one small, smallest step.

Koji je to najmanji korak koji ja danas mogu da uradim u pravcu What is the smallest step I can take in the direction today

ostvarenja mojih snova

bez obzira na to što nemam ničiju podršku? regardless of the fact that I have no one's support?

Možda možete nešto da pročitate?

Možda možete da pronađete na internetu, neku informaciju?

Možda možete da razmislite ko može da vas podrži, da s nekim popričate? Maybe you can think about who can support you, to talk to someone?

Uvek možete nešto da uradite VI!

Jer ostvarenje vaših snova zavisi od vas.

Pitajte svakoga koga znate da je ostvario svoje snove Ask anyone you know who has made their dreams come true

Neće vam reći da je ostvario svoje snove zato što je neko drugi pokrenuo He won't tell you that he made his dreams come true because someone else started him

se za mene i uradio da ja odjednom živim svoj san. for me and made me suddenly live my dream.

Niko vam to neće reći. No one will tell you that.

Zato to neće biti slučaj ni sa vama. That's why it won't be the case with you either.

Znam da vam se možda ne sviđa ovo što čujete I know you may not like what you hear

ali to je tako.

Znači, šta hoćete tačno da ostvarite? So what exactly do you want to achieve?

Kakva vam podrška tačno treba? What kind of support do you need exactly?

Okružite se ljudima koji su uspešni Surround yourself with successful people

koji možda mogu da vam pomognu i hoće da vam pomognu. who may be able to help you and want to help you.

ne optužujte i ne izgovarajte se, don't accuse or make excuses,

nego se pomerite i krenite napred.

Vaša sjajna budućnost čeka na vas! Your bright future is waiting for you!

A neće doći sama.

Neće doći sama,

vi morate da se pokrenete ka njoj. you have to move towards it.

Vidimo se sledećeg četvrtka.