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eat pray love by elizabeth gilbert full, Eat Pray Love ch 5-1

Eat Pray Love ch 5-1

If I'd had any way of knowing that things were—as Lily Tomlin once said—going to get a whole lot worse before they got worse, I'm not sure how well I would have slept that night.

But seven very difficult months later, I did leave my husband. When I finally made that decision, I thought the worst of it was over. This only shows how little I knew about divorce. There was once a cartoon in The New Yorker magazine. Two women talking, one saying to the other: “If you really want to get to know someone, you have to divorce him.” Of course, my experience was the opposite. I would say that if you really want to STOP knowing someone, you have to divorce him. Or her. Because this is what happened between me and my husband. I believe that we shocked each other by how swiftly we went from being the people who knew each other best in the world to being a pair of the most mutually incomprehensible strangers who ever lived. At the bottom of that strangeness was the abysmal fact that we were both doing something the other person would never have conceived possible; he never dreamed I would actually leave him, and I never in my wildest imagination thought he would make it so difficult for me to go. It was my most sincere belief when I left my husband that we could settle our practical affairs in a few hours with a calculator, some common sense and a bit of goodwill toward the person we'd once loved. My initial suggestion was that we sell the house and divide all the assets fifty-fifty; it never occurred to me we'd proceed in any other way. He didn't find this suggestion fair. So I upped my offer, even suggesting this different kind of fifty-fifty split: What if he took all the assets and I took all the blame? But not even that offer would bring a settlement. Now I was at a loss. How do you negotiate once you've offered everything? I could do nothing now but wait for his counterproposal. My guilt at having left him forbade me from thinking I should be allowed to keep even a dime of the money I'd made in the last decade. Moreover, my newfound spirituality made it essential to me that we not battle. So this was my position—I would neither defend myself from him, nor would I fight him. For the longest time, against the counsel of all who cared about me, I resisted even consulting a lawyer, because I considered even that to be an act of war. I wanted to be all Gandhi about this. I wanted to be all Nelson Mandela about this. Not realizing at the time that both Gandhi and Mandela were lawyers. Months passed.

My life hung in limbo as I waited to be released, waited to see what the terms would be. We were living separately (he had moved into our Manhattan apartment), but nothing was resolved. Bills piled up, careers stalled, the house fell into ruin and my husband's silences were broken only by his occasional communications reminding me what a criminal jerk I was. And then there was David. All the complications and traumas of those ugly divorce years were multiplied by the drama of David—the guy I fell in love with as I was taking leave of my marriage. Did I say that I “fell in love” with David? What I meant to say is that I dove out of my marriage and into David's arms exactly the same way a cartoon circus performer dives off a high platform and into a small cup of water, vanishing completely. I clung to David for escape from marriage as if he were the last helicopter pulling out of Saigon. I inflicted upon him my every hope for my salvation and happiness. And, yes, I did love him. But if I could think of a stronger word than “desperately” to describe how I loved David, I would use that word here, and desperate love is always the toughest way to do it. I moved right in with David after I left my husband. He was—is—a gorgeous young man. A born New Yorker, an actor and writer, with those brown liquid-center Italian eyes that have always (have I already mentioned this?) unstitched me. Street-smart, independent, vegetarian, foulmouthed, spiritual, seductive. A rebel poet-Yogi from Yonkers. God's own sexy rookie shortstop. Bigger than life. Bigger than big. Or at least he was to me. The first time my best friend Susan heard me talking about him, she took one look at the high fever in my face and said to me, “Oh my God, baby, you are in so much trouble.” David and I met because he was performing in a play based on short stories I'd written. He was playing a character I had invented, which is somewhat telling. In desperate love, it's always like this, isn't it? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place. But, oh, we had such a great time together during those early months when he was still my romantic hero and I was still his living dream. It was excitement and compatibility like I'd never imagined. We invented our own language. We went on day trips and road trips. We hiked to the top of things, swam to the bottom of other things, planned the journeys across the world we would take together. We had more fun waiting in line together at the Department of Motor Vehicles than most couples have on their honey-moons. We gave each other the same nickname, so there would be no separation between us. We made goals, vows, promises and dinner together. He read books to me, and he did my laundry. (The first time that happened, I called Susan to report the marvel in astonishment, like I'd just seen a camel using a pay phone. I said, “A man just did my laundry! And he even hand-washed my delicates!” And she repeated: “Oh my God, baby, you are in so much trouble.”)

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Eat Pray Love ch 5-1 Eat Pray Love, Kapitel 5-1 Come, reza, ama cap. 5-1 Comer Rezar Amar cap. 5-1 Ешьте, молитесь, любите гл. 5-1 飲食、禱告、愛情 第 5-1 章

If I’d had any way of knowing that things were—as Lily Tomlin once said—going to get a whole lot worse before they got worse, I’m not sure how well I would have slept that night. |||||de||que||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 릴리 톰린이 한 번 말했듯이 상황이 악화되기 전에 훨씬 더 나빠질 것이라는 것을 알 수있는 방법이 있다면, 그날 밤 잠을 잘 잤을 지 모르겠습니다. Если бы у меня был хоть какой-то способ знать, что все, как однажды сказала Лили Томлин, станет намного хуже, прежде чем оно станет еще хуже, я не уверен, как хорошо бы я спал в ту ночь. Lily Tomlin'in bir keresinde söylediği gibi, işlerin kötüye gitmeden önce çok daha kötüye gideceğini bilmemin herhangi bir yolu olsaydı, o gece ne kadar iyi uyuyabilirdim emin değilim.

But seven very difficult months later, I did leave my husband. Но через семь очень трудных месяцев я все-таки ушла от мужа. When I finally made that decision, I thought the worst of it was over. |||||||||||||passada Когда я, наконец, принял это решение, я думал, что худшее уже позади. This only shows how little I knew about divorce. Это только показывает, как мало я знал о разводе. There was once a cartoon in The New Yorker magazine. Two women talking, one saying to the other: “If you really want to get to know someone, you have to divorce him.” Of course, my experience was the opposite. Разговаривают две женщины, одна говорит другой: «Если ты действительно хочешь с кем-то познакомиться, ты должна с ним развестись». Конечно, мой опыт был противоположным. I would say that if you really want to STOP knowing someone, you have to divorce him. Я бы сказал, что если вы действительно хотите ПРЕКРАТИТЬ знакомство с кем-то, вы должны развестись с ним. Or her. Because this is what happened between me and my husband. I believe that we shocked each other by how swiftly we went from being the people who knew each other best in the world to being a pair of the most mutually incomprehensible strangers who ever lived. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||anlaşılmaz hale geldik|||| |||||||||rapidamente||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Я думаю, что мы шокировали друг друга тем, как быстро мы превратились из людей, которые знали друг друга лучше всех в мире, в пару самых непостижимых друг для друга незнакомцев, которые когда-либо жили. At the bottom of that strangeness was the abysmal fact that we were both doing something the other person would never have conceived possible; he never dreamed I would actually leave him, and I never in my wildest imagination thought he would make it so difficult for me to go. ||||||||Derin, korkunç||||||||||||||tasavvur etmiş||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||fundo||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| В основе этой странности лежал ужасный факт, что мы оба делали то, что другой человек никогда бы не подумал о возможности; он и представить себе не мог, что я на самом деле оставлю его, и я даже в самом безумном воображении не думала, что из-за него мне будет так трудно уйти. It was my most sincere belief when I left my husband that we could settle our practical affairs in a few hours with a calculator, some common sense and a bit of goodwill toward the person we’d once loved. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||iyi niyet|||||| |||||crença||||||||||||||||||||um pouco de||||||||||||| Когда я рассталась с мужем, я искренне верила, что мы сможем уладить наши практические дела за несколько часов с помощью калькулятора, здравого смысла и капельки доброжелательности по отношению к человеку, которого мы когда-то любили. Коли я розлучалася з чоловіком, я щиро вірила, що за допомогою калькулятора, здорового глузду і трохи доброї волі до людини, яку ми колись кохали, ми зможемо залагодити наші практичні справи за кілька годин. My initial suggestion was that we sell the house and divide all the assets fifty-fifty; it never occurred to me we’d proceed in any other way. Мое первоначальное предложение состояло в том, чтобы мы продали дом и разделили все имущество поровну; мне и в голову не приходило, что мы пойдем другим путем. İlk önerim evi satmamız ve tüm malları yarı yarıya bölüşmemizdi; başka bir şekilde ilerleyebileceğimiz hiç aklıma gelmemişti. He didn’t find this suggestion fair. Он не нашел это предложение справедливым. So I upped my offer, even suggesting this different kind of fifty-fifty split: What if he took all the assets and I took all the blame? ||aumentei|||||||||||||||||||||||| 그래서 저는 제 제안을 올렸습니다. 심지어 이렇게 다른 종류의 50 분할을 제안했습니다. 그가 모든 자산을 가져 가고 제가 모든 책임을 졌다면 어떨까요? Так что я увеличил свое предложение, даже предложив другой вид дележа пятьдесят на пятьдесят: что, если он заберет все активы, а я возьму на себя всю вину? But not even that offer would bring a settlement. 그러나 그 제안조차도 합의를 가져올 수 없습니다. Но даже это предложение не привело бы к урегулированию. Now I was at a loss. Теперь я был в растерянности. How do you negotiate once you’ve offered everything? |||||||tudo Как вы ведете переговоры, когда уже все предложили? I could do nothing now but wait for his counterproposal. Теперь я ничего не мог сделать, кроме как ждать его встречного предложения. My guilt at having left him forbade me from thinking I should be allowed to keep even a dime of the money I’d made in the last decade. ||||||yasakladı||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||impediu||||||||||||um tostão||||||||| 그를 떠난 죄책감은 지난 10 년 동안 벌어 들인 돈의 소량을 유지해야한다는 생각을 금했다. Чувство вины за то, что я оставила его, не позволяло мне думать, что мне следует оставить себе хотя бы цент из тех денег, которые я заработал за последнее десятилетие. Почуття провини за те, що я покинула його, не дозволяло мені думати про те, що я можу залишити собі бодай копійку з грошей, які я заробила за останнє десятиліття. Moreover, my newfound spirituality made it essential to me that we not battle. Более того, моя вновь обретенная духовность сделала для меня важным, чтобы мы не ссорились. Більше того, моя новознайдена духовність зробила для мене важливим, щоб ми не боролися. So this was my position—I would neither defend myself from him, nor would I fight him. Такова была моя позиция — я не буду ни защищаться от него, ни драться с ним. For the longest time, against the counsel of all who cared about me, I resisted even consulting a lawyer, because I considered even that to be an act of war. Долгое время, вопреки совету всех, кто заботился обо мне, я сопротивлялся даже совету адвоката, потому что считал даже это актом войны. Довгий час, всупереч порадам усіх, хто піклувався про мене, я не хотів навіть звертатися до адвоката, бо вважав це актом війни. I wanted to be all Gandhi about this. Я хотел быть всем Ганди в этом. I wanted to be all Nelson Mandela about this. Not realizing at the time that both Gandhi and Mandela were lawyers. Не осознавая в то время, что и Ганди, и Мандела были юристами. Months passed.

My life hung in limbo as I waited to be released, waited to see what the terms would be. ||||belirsizlikte kaldı|||||||||||||| Моя жизнь зависла в подвешенном состоянии, пока я ждал освобождения, ждал, какие будут условия. We were living separately (he had moved into our Manhattan apartment), but nothing was resolved. Мы жили отдельно (он переехал в нашу квартиру на Манхэттене), но ничего не решалось. Bills piled up, careers stalled, the house fell into ruin and my husband’s silences were broken only by his occasional communications reminding me what a criminal jerk I was. ||||durgunlaştı|||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||||quebrados||||||||||||| Счета накапливались, карьера застопорилась, дом пришел в упадок, а молчание моего мужа нарушалось только его случайными сообщениями, напоминающими мне, какой я была преступной придурком. And then there was David. А потом был Давид. All the complications and traumas of those ugly divorce years were multiplied by the drama of David—the guy I fell in love with as I was taking leave of my marriage. ||||traumas||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Все осложнения и травмы тех безобразных лет развода умножились на драму Дэвида — парня, в которого я влюбилась, когда прощалась со своим браком. Did I say that I “fell in love” with David? Говорил ли я, что «влюбился» в Дэвида? What I meant to say is that I dove out of my marriage and into David’s arms exactly the same way a cartoon circus performer dives off a high platform and into a small cup of water, vanishing completely. ||||||||daldım|dışına||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||desaparecendo| Я хотел сказать, что нырнул из своего брака в объятия Дэвида точно так же, как мультяшный циркач ныряет с высокой платформы в маленькую чашку с водой, полностью исчезая. Я хочу сказати, що я пірнула зі свого шлюбу в обійми Девіда точно так само, як мультяшний циркач пірнає з високої платформи в маленьку чашку з водою, повністю зникаючи. I clung to David for escape from marriage as if he were the last helicopter pulling out of Saigon. |agarrei-me||||||||||||||||| 마치 그가 사이공을 떠나는 마지막 헬리콥터 인 것처럼 나는 결혼에서 탈출하기 위해 다윗에게 매달렸다. Я цеплялась за Дэвида за спасение от брака, как будто он был последним вертолетом, вылетевшим из Сайгона. I inflicted upon him my every hope for my salvation and happiness. |yükledim||||||||kurtuluşum ve mutluluğum|| Я возложил на него всю свою надежду на мое спасение и счастье. And, yes, I did love him. But if I could think of a stronger word than “desperately” to describe how I loved David, I would use that word here, and desperate love is always the toughest way to do it. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||mais difícil|||| 그러나 내가 다윗을 어떻게 사랑했는지 묘사하기 위해“필요하게”보다 더 강한 단어를 생각할 수 있다면, 나는 그 단어를 여기서 사용할 것입니다. Но если бы я могла придумать более сильное слово, чем «отчаянно», чтобы описать, как я любила Дэвида, я бы использовала это слово здесь, а отчаянная любовь — это всегда самый трудный способ сделать это. I moved right in with David after I left my husband. Я переехала к Дэвиду сразу после того, как ушла от мужа. He was—is—a gorgeous young man. Он был — и есть — великолепный молодой человек. A born New Yorker, an actor and writer, with those brown liquid-center Italian eyes that have always (have I already mentioned this?) Прирожденный житель Нью-Йорка, актер и писатель, с теми итальянскими карими глазами с жидким центром, которые всегда (я уже говорил об этом?) unstitched me. desfeita| расшил меня. Street-smart, independent, vegetarian, foulmouthed, spiritual, seductive. ||||grosseiro|| Умный, независимый, вегетарианец, сквернослов, духовный, соблазнительный. A rebel poet-Yogi from Yonkers. |||||Yonkers Yonkers의 반군 시인 요기. Мятежный поэт-йог из Йонкерса. God’s own sexy rookie shortstop. Божий собственный сексуальный новичок шорт-стоп. Bigger than life. Больше, чем жизнь. Bigger than big. Больше, чем большой. Or at least he was to me. Или, по крайней мере, он был для меня. The first time my best friend Susan heard me talking about him, she took one look at the high fever in my face and said to me, “Oh my God, baby, you are in so much trouble.” David and I met because he was performing in a play based on short stories I’d written. В первый раз, когда моя лучшая подруга Сьюзен услышала, как я говорю о нем, она бросила взгляд на мое лицо в жару и сказала мне: «Боже мой, детка, у тебя столько проблем». Мы с Дэвидом познакомились, потому что он играл в пьесе, основанной на написанных мной рассказах. He was playing a character I had invented, which is somewhat telling. Он играл персонажа, которого я придумал, что несколько показательно. In desperate love, it’s always like this, isn’t it? В отчаянной любви всегда так, не так ли? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place. В отчаянной любви мы всегда придумываем характеры наших партнеров, требуя, чтобы они были такими, какими мы от них нуждаемся, а затем чувствуем себя опустошенными, когда они отказываются играть роль, которую мы создали в первую очередь. But, oh, we had such a great time together during those early months when he was still my romantic hero and I was still his living dream. Но, о, мы так прекрасно проводили время вместе в те ранние месяцы, когда он все еще был моим романтическим героем, а я все еще была его живой мечтой. It was excitement and compatibility like I’d never imagined. ||||uyum|||| Это было волнение и совместимость, как я никогда не мог себе представить. We invented our own language. We went on day trips and road trips. Мы ездили в однодневные поездки и поездки. We hiked to the top of things, swam to the bottom of other things, planned the journeys across the world we would take together. Мы взбирались на вершины вещей, плавали на дне других вещей, планировали путешествия по миру, которые мы предпримем вместе. We had more fun waiting in line together at the Department of Motor Vehicles than most couples have on their honey-moons. Нам было веселее вместе стоять в очереди в Департаменте транспортных средств, чем большинству пар в медовый месяц. We gave each other the same nickname, so there would be no separation between us. We made goals, vows, promises and dinner together. |||votos|||| Мы ставили цели, обеты, обещания и обедали вместе. He read books to me, and he did my laundry. Он читал мне книги и стирал мою одежду. (The first time that happened, I called Susan to report the marvel in astonishment, like I’d just seen a camel using a pay phone. (В первый раз, когда это случилось, я позвонил Сьюзен, чтобы сообщить о чуде в изумлении, как будто я только что увидел верблюда, использующего телефон-автомат. I said, “A man just did my laundry! Я сказал: «Мужчина только что постирал мою одежду! And he even hand-washed my delicates!” And she repeated: “Oh my God, baby, you are in so much trouble.”) ||||||iç çamaşırlarımı||||||||||||| ||||||roupas delicadas||||||||||||| И он даже вручную стирал мои деликатные вещи!» И она повторяла: «Боже мой, детка, у тебя столько проблем».)