Friends S03E18 1d
What's so funny? Nothing. It's an acting exercise. I'm practicing my fake laugh. What? What's so funny? No, no. There's none of that in here. Come on, man. At least let me finish this last one. Only if you give me a drag. Okay. Oh, dark mother, once again I suckle at your smoky teat. No, why don't you hold on to that one. Okay, that's like the least fun game ever. I'm sick of your smoking, so I brought something... ...that is going to help you quit. Nope. That patch is no good. It's a hypnosis tape. A woman at work used it for two weeks and hasn't smoked since. What's your problem? Nothing. It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap. I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City. That guy did not hypnotize me, okay? You always pull your pants down and play "Wipe Out" on your butt. I was trying to distract attention... ...from that poor, old woman who was trying to stuff her breasts into tube socks. Forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is to dance naked in a field of heather... ...and then bathe in the sweat of six healthy, young men. Or what my father calls "Thursday night." The One With the Hypnosis Tape - Here you go. - I didn't want cinnamon on this. Sorry. - Hi. - Oh, my God! Frank! How are you? What are you doing here? I would've called, but I lost your number. And then my mom locked me out of the house, so I couldn't find it. Then I tried to find a pay phone, and the receiver was cut off. What happened? Vandalism. But also, what happened between you and your mom? We got in a fight. She said that I was too immature to get married. - You're getting married? - Oh, yeah! My little brother's getting married! I knew you'd be so cool about this. Do you wanna meet her? Do I? Do you? Yeah, I do. Cool, all right. She's just parking the truck. - I gonna go get my fiancee, man! - All right. I'd have bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married. Isn't it fantastic? Don't you think he's a little young to get married? Well, he's 18. It'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party. Yeah, or to get a hooker. Always illegal, Joe. Hey, this is my fiancee... ...Mrs. Knight. - That's my sister. - You know, it's funny. Frank told me so much about you, but you're not how I pictured you at all. Yeah, I'm a big surprise. - Here, you go. - Thank you. Here, grab a seat. So how did you guys meet? Well, I was in Mrs. Knight's... I mean, Alice. Sorry, Alice. I always do that. - I was in her home-ec class. - He was my best student. Yeah. She was my best teacher. If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will? And so now you guys are gonna be married? Yeah. We talked about just living together... ...but we want kids right away. Oh, my God! Great! Kids. Frank, are you sure you're ready for that? How hard can it be? You know, I mean, it's babies. Who doesn't want babies? Right? And besides, I never had a dad around. And now I always will, because it'll be me. - Yeah. - Right? Really, we do realize that there's an age difference between us. Good. Because you were acting like you didn't. Oh, no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter? You are falling fast asleep. Deeper, deeper, deeper. You are now completely asleep. You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman... ...who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman. You know what? I realized in the last year I've only gone out with Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out, set me up. Get me back in the game. Not a problem. I work in fashion, and all I meet are eligible straight men. Can I get you something else? Cheesecake and a date, if you're giving them out. - Haven't we covered that topic? - You just said to her... You wanna go out with me... ...because of my wig, boobs, and because I serve you food. Well, if that were true, I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out, it was just plain awkward. Come on. You think she should go out with me, don't you? Well, I mean, are you sure you wanna go out with her? That ain't a pretty picture in the morning. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand. - I mean, think about it. - Oh, I will.
