×

我们使用 cookie 帮助改善 LingQ。通过浏览本网站,表示你同意我们的 cookie 政策.

image

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, CHAPTER XXVII-c

CHAPTER XXVII-c

“Don't talk any more of those days, sir,” I interrupted, furtively dashing away some tears from my eyes; his language was torture to me; for I knew what I must do—and do soon—and all these reminiscences, and these revelations of his feelings only made my work more difficult. “No, Jane,” he returned: “what necessity is there to dwell on the Past, when the Present is so much surer—the Future so much brighter?”

I shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion.

“You see now how the case stands—do you not?” he continued.

“After a youth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary solitude, I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. You are my sympathy—my better self—my good angel. I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you, and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.

“It was because I felt and knew this, that I resolved to marry you.

To tell me that I had already a wife is empty mockery: you know now that I had but a hideous demon. I was wrong to attempt to deceive you; but I feared a stubbornness that exists in your character. I feared early instilled prejudice: I wanted to have you safe before hazarding confidences. This was cowardly: I should have appealed to your nobleness and magnanimity at first, as I do now—opened to you plainly my life of agony—described to you my hunger and thirst after a higher and worthier existence—shown to you, not my resolution (that word is weak), but my resistless bent to love faithfully and well, where I am faithfully and well loved in return. Then I should have asked you to accept my pledge of fidelity and to give me yours. Jane—give it me now.”

A pause.

“Why are you silent, Jane?”

I was experiencing an ordeal: a hand of fiery iron grasped my vitals.

Terrible moment: full of struggle, blackness, burning! Not a human being that ever lived could wish to be loved better than I was loved; and him who thus loved me I absolutely worshipped: and I must renounce love and idol. One drear word comprised my intolerable duty—“Depart!”

“Jane, you understand what I want of you?

Just this promise—‘I will be yours, Mr. Rochester. '” “Mr.

Rochester, I will not be yours.”

Another long silence.

“Jane!” recommenced he, with a gentleness that broke me down with grief, and turned me stone-cold with ominous terror—for this still voice was the pant of a lion rising—“Jane, do you mean to go one way in the world, and to let me go another?”

“I do.”

“Jane” (bending towards and embracing me), “do you mean it now?”

“I do.”

“And now?” softly kissing my forehead and cheek.

“I do,” extricating myself from restraint rapidly and completely.

“Oh, Jane, this is bitter!

This—this is wicked. It would not be wicked to love me.”

“It would to obey you.”

A wild look raised his brows—crossed his features: he rose; but he forebore yet.

I laid my hand on the back of a chair for support: I shook, I feared—but I resolved.

“One instant, Jane.

Give one glance to my horrible life when you are gone. All happiness will be torn away with you. What then is left? For a wife I have but the maniac upstairs: as well might you refer me to some corpse in yonder churchyard. What shall I do, Jane? Where turn for a companion and for some hope?”

“Do as I do: trust in God and yourself.

Believe in heaven. Hope to meet again there.”

“Then you will not yield?”

“No.”

“Then you condemn me to live wretched and to die accursed?” His voice rose.

“I advise you to live sinless, and I wish you to die tranquil.”

“Then you snatch love and innocence from me?

You fling me back on lust for a passion—vice for an occupation?”

“Mr.

Rochester, I no more assign this fate to you than I grasp at it for myself. We were born to strive and endure—you as well as I: do so. You will forget me before I forget you.”

“You make me a liar by such language: you sully my honour.

I declared I could not change: you tell me to my face I shall change soon. And what a distortion in your judgment, what a perversity in your ideas, is proved by your conduct! Is it better to drive a fellow-creature to despair than to transgress a mere human law, no man being injured by the breach? for you have neither relatives nor acquaintances whom you need fear to offend by living with me?”

This was true: and while he spoke my very conscience and reason turned traitors against me, and charged me with crime in resisting him.

They spoke almost as loud as Feeling: and that clamoured wildly. “Oh, comply!” it said. “Think of his misery; think of his danger—look at his state when left alone; remember his headlong nature; consider the recklessness following on despair—soothe him; save him; love him; tell him you love him and will be his. Who in the world cares for you ? or who will be injured by what you do?”

Still indomitable was the reply—“ I care for myself.

The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad—as I am now. Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth—so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane—quite insane: with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot.”

I did.

Mr. Rochester, reading my countenance, saw I had done so. His fury was wrought to the highest: he must yield to it for a moment, whatever followed; he crossed the floor and seized my arm and grasped my waist. He seemed to devour me with his flaming glance: physically, I felt, at the moment, powerless as stubble exposed to the draught and glow of a furnace: mentally, I still possessed my soul, and with it the certainty of ultimate safety. The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter—often an unconscious, but still a truthful interpreter—in the eye. My eye rose to his; and while I looked in his fierce face I gave an involuntary sigh; his gripe was painful, and my over-taxed strength almost exhausted.

“Never,” said he, as he ground his teeth, “never was anything at once so frail and so indomitable.

A mere reed she feels in my hand!” (And he shook me with the force of his hold. ) “I could bend her with my finger and thumb: and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed her? Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free thing looking out of it, defying me, with more than courage—with a stern triumph. Whatever I do with its cage, I cannot get at it—the savage, beautiful creature! If I tear, if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only let the captive loose. Conqueror I might be of the house; but the inmate would escape to heaven before I could call myself possessor of its clay dwelling-place. And it is you, spirit—with will and energy, and virtue and purity—that I want: not alone your brittle frame. Of yourself you could come with soft flight and nestle against my heart, if you would: seized against your will, you will elude the grasp like an essence—you will vanish ere I inhale your fragrance. Oh! come, Jane, come!”

As he said this, he released me from his clutch, and only looked at me.

The look was far worse to resist than the frantic strain: only an idiot, however, would have succumbed now. I had dared and baffled his fury; I must elude his sorrow: I retired to the door.

“You are going, Jane?”

“I am going, sir.”

“You are leaving me?”

“Yes.”

“You will not come?

You will not be my comforter, my rescuer? My deep love, my wild woe, my frantic prayer, are all nothing to you?”

What unutterable pathos was in his voice!

How hard it was to reiterate firmly, “I am going.”

“Jane!”

“Mr.

Rochester!”

“Withdraw, then,—I consent; but remember, you leave me here in anguish.

Go up to your own room; think over all I have said, and, Jane, cast a glance on my sufferings—think of me.”

He turned away; he threw himself on his face on the sofa.

“Oh, Jane! my hope—my love—my life!” broke in anguish from his lips. Then came a deep, strong sob.

I had already gained the door; but, reader, I walked back—walked back as determinedly as I had retreated.

I knelt down by him; I turned his face from the cushion to me; I kissed his cheek; I smoothed his hair with my hand.

“God bless you, my dear master!” I said.

“God keep you from harm and wrong—direct you, solace you—reward you well for your past kindness to me.”

“Little Jane's love would have been my best reward,” he answered; “without it, my heart is broken. But Jane will give me her love: yes—nobly, generously.”

Up the blood rushed to his face; forth flashed the fire from his eyes; erect he sprang; he held his arms out; but I evaded the embrace, and at once quitted the room.

“Farewell!” was the cry of my heart as I left him.

Despair added, “Farewell for ever!”

* * * * *

That night I never thought to sleep; but a slumber fell on me as soon as I lay down in bed.

I was transported in thought to the scenes of childhood: I dreamt I lay in the red-room at Gateshead; that the night was dark, and my mind impressed with strange fears. The light that long ago had struck me into syncope, recalled in this vision, seemed glidingly to mount the wall, and tremblingly to pause in the centre of the obscured ceiling. I lifted up my head to look: the roof resolved to clouds, high and dim; the gleam was such as the moon imparts to vapours she is about to sever. I watched her come—watched with the strangest anticipation; as though some word of doom were to be written on her disk. She broke forth as never moon yet burst from cloud: a hand first penetrated the sable folds and waved them away; then, not a moon, but a white human form shone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthward. It gazed and gazed on me. It spoke to my spirit: immeasurably distant was the tone, yet so near, it whispered in my heart—

“My daughter, flee temptation.”

“Mother, I will.”

So I answered after I had waked from the trance-like dream.

It was yet night, but July nights are short: soon after midnight, dawn comes. “It cannot be too early to commence the task I have to fulfil,” thought I. I rose: I was dressed; for I had taken off nothing but my shoes. I knew where to find in my drawers some linen, a locket, a ring. In seeking these articles, I encountered the beads of a pearl necklace Mr. Rochester had forced me to accept a few days ago. I left that; it was not mine: it was the visionary bride's who had melted in air. The other articles I made up in a parcel; my purse, containing twenty shillings (it was all I had), I put in my pocket: I tied on my straw bonnet, pinned my shawl, took the parcel and my slippers, which I would not put on yet, and stole from my room.

“Farewell, kind Mrs. Fairfax!” I whispered, as I glided past her door.

“Farewell, my darling Adèle!” I said, as I glanced towards the nursery. No thought could be admitted of entering to embrace her. I had to deceive a fine ear: for aught I knew it might now be listening.

I would have got past Mr. Rochester's chamber without a pause; but my heart momentarily stopping its beat at that threshold, my foot was forced to stop also. No sleep was there: the inmate was walking restlessly from wall to wall; and again and again he sighed while I listened. There was a heaven—a temporary heaven—in this room for me, if I chose: I had but to go in and to say—

“Mr.

Rochester, I will love you and live with you through life till death,” and a fount of rapture would spring to my lips. I thought of this.

That kind master, who could not sleep now, was waiting with impatience for day.

He would send for me in the morning; I should be gone. He would have me sought for: vainly. He would feel himself forsaken; his love rejected: he would suffer; perhaps grow desperate. I thought of this too. My hand moved towards the lock: I caught it back, and glided on.

Drearily I wound my way downstairs: I knew what I had to do, and I did it mechanically.

I sought the key of the side-door in the kitchen; I sought, too, a phial of oil and a feather; I oiled the key and the lock. I got some water, I got some bread: for perhaps I should have to walk far; and my strength, sorely shaken of late, must not break down. All this I did without one sound. I opened the door, passed out, shut it softly. Dim dawn glimmered in the yard. The great gates were closed and locked; but a wicket in one of them was only latched. Through that I departed: it, too, I shut; and now I was out of Thornfield.

A mile off, beyond the fields, lay a road which stretched in the contrary direction to Millcote; a road I had never travelled, but often noticed, and wondered where it led: thither I bent my steps.

No reflection was to be allowed now: not one glance was to be cast back; not even one forward. Not one thought was to be given either to the past or the future. The first was a page so heavenly sweet—so deadly sad—that to read one line of it would dissolve my courage and break down my energy. The last was an awful blank: something like the world when the deluge was gone by.

I skirted fields, and hedges, and lanes till after sunrise.

I believe it was a lovely summer morning: I know my shoes, which I had put on when I left the house, were soon wet with dew. But I looked neither to rising sun, nor smiling sky, nor wakening nature. He who is taken out to pass through a fair scene to the scaffold, thinks not of the flowers that smile on his road, but of the block and axe-edge; of the disseverment of bone and vein; of the grave gaping at the end: and I thought of drear flight and homeless wandering—and oh! with agony I thought of what I left. I could not help it. I thought of him now—in his room—watching the sunrise; hoping I should soon come to say I would stay with him and be his. I longed to be his; I panted to return: it was not too late; I could yet spare him the bitter pang of bereavement. As yet my flight, I was sure, was undiscovered. I could go back and be his comforter—his pride; his redeemer from misery, perhaps from ruin. Oh, that fear of his self-abandonment—far worse than my abandonment—how it goaded me! It was a barbed arrow-head in my breast; it tore me when I tried to extract it; it sickened me when remembrance thrust it farther in. Birds began singing in brake and copse: birds were faithful to their mates; birds were emblems of love. What was I? In the midst of my pain of heart and frantic effort of principle, I abhorred myself. I had no solace from self-approbation: none even from self-respect. I had injured—wounded—left my master. I was hateful in my own eyes. Still I could not turn, nor retrace one step. God must have led me on. As to my own will or conscience, impassioned grief had trampled one and stifled the other. I was weeping wildly as I walked along my solitary way: fast, fast I went like one delirious. A weakness, beginning inwardly, extending to the limbs, seized me, and I fell: I lay on the ground some minutes, pressing my face to the wet turf. I had some fear—or hope—that here I should die: but I was soon up; crawling forwards on my hands and knees, and then again raised to my feet—as eager and as determined as ever to reach the road.

When I got there, I was forced to sit to rest me under the hedge; and while I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach come on.

I stood up and lifted my hand; it stopped. I asked where it was going: the driver named a place a long way off, and where I was sure Mr. Rochester had no connections. I asked for what sum he would take me there; he said thirty shillings; I answered I had but twenty; well, he would try to make it do. He further gave me leave to get into the inside, as the vehicle was empty: I entered, was shut in, and it rolled on its way.

Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt!

May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in that hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love.

Learn languages from TV shows, movies, news, articles and more! Try LingQ for FREE

CHAPTER XXVII-c CAPÍTULO XXVII-c 第二十七章-c CAPÍTULO XXVII-c ГЛАВА XXVII-c

“Don't talk any more of those days, sir,” I interrupted, furtively dashing away some tears from my eyes; his language was torture to me; for I knew what I must do—and do soon—and all these reminiscences, and these revelations of his feelings only made my work more difficult. ||||||||||Secretly|dashing||||||||||torture||||||||||||||||reminiscences|||||||||||| "Už o těch dnech nemluvte, pane," přerušil jsem ho a potutelně si zamáčkl slzy z očí; jeho řeči pro mě byly utrpením, protože jsem věděl, co musím udělat - a to brzy - a všechny tyhle vzpomínky a odhalení jeho citů mi jen ztěžovaly práci. «Ne parlez plus de ces jours-là, monsieur,» l'interrompis-je, faisant furtivement couler quelques larmes de mes yeux; sa langue était une torture pour moi; car je savais ce que je devais faire - et faire bientôt - et toutes ces réminiscences et ces révélations de ses sentiments ne faisaient que rendre mon travail plus difficile. “No, Jane,” he returned: “what necessity is there to dwell on the Past, when the Present is so much surer—the Future so much brighter?” |||||||||linger||||||||||||||| “No, Jane,” he returned: “what necessity is there to dwell on the Past, when the Present is so much surer—the Future so much brighter?” «Non, Jane,» répondit-il: «quelle nécessité y a-t-il de s'attarder sur le passé, alors que le présent est tellement plus sûr - le futur tellement plus brillant?

I shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion. |schauderte||||verliebte|Äußerung |shuddered||||irrationally passionate|confident statement J'ai frissonné en entendant l'affirmation enthousiaste.

“You see now how the case stands—do you not?” he continued. “You see now how the case stands—do you not?” he continued. «Vous voyez maintenant comment se déroule l'affaire, n'est-ce pas? il a continué.

“After a youth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary solitude, I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. ||||||||unbeschreiblichem|||||öder|Einsamkeit|||||||||||||||| ||||adult life||||indescribable|intense suffering||||||||||||||||||||| “After a youth and manhood passed half in unutterable misery and half in dreary solitude, I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. «Après une jeunesse et une virilité passées à moitié dans une misère indescriptible et à moitié dans une solitude morne, j'ai pour la première fois trouvé ce que je peux vraiment aimer - je vous ai trouvé. You are my sympathy—my better self—my good angel. I am bound to you with a strong attachment. ||gebunden|||||| I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you, and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one. |||||||glühend||ernste|||gezeugt|||||||dir||||||||||||||||entzündet||reiner|||entzündet||||| |||||||||||||||||inclines toward|||attracts|||||||||envelops||||||Igniting|||||unites||||| I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you, and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one. Je te trouve bon, doué, charmant: une passion fervente, solennelle est conçue dans mon cœur; elle se penche vers vous, vous attire vers mon centre et ma source de vie, enveloppe mon existence autour de vous et, allumée dans une flamme pure et puissante, fusionne vous et moi en un.

“It was because I felt and knew this, that I resolved to marry you. ||||||||||entschlossen||| “It was because I felt and knew this, that I resolved to marry you.

To tell me that I had already a wife is empty mockery: you know now that I had but a hideous demon. |||||||||||ridicule or scorn|||||||||terribly ugly creature| To tell me that I had already a wife is empty mockery: you know now that I had but a hideous demon. Me dire que j'avais déjà une femme est une pure moquerie: vous savez maintenant que je n'avais qu'un démon hideux. I was wrong to attempt to deceive you; but I feared a stubbornness that exists in your character. ||||||||||||unyielding nature||||| I was wrong to attempt to deceive you; but I feared a stubbornness that exists in your character. J'ai eu tort d'essayer de vous tromper; mais j'ai craint un entêtement qui existe dans votre caractère. I feared early instilled prejudice: I wanted to have you safe before hazarding confidences. |||deeply ingrained|preconceived notions||||||||taking a risk|personal revelations I feared early instilled prejudice: I wanted to have you safe before hazarding confidences. J'avais peur des préjugés instillés tôt: je voulais vous mettre en sécurité avant de risquer des confidences. This was cowardly: I should have appealed to your nobleness and magnanimity at first, as I do now—opened to you plainly my life of agony—described to you my hunger and thirst after a higher and worthier existence—shown to you, not my resolution (that word is weak), but my resistless bent to love faithfully and well, where I am faithfully and well loved in return. ||lacking courage|||||||honor and integrity||Generosity of spirit||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||Irresistible inclination||||||||||||||| C'était lâche: j'aurais dû faire appel à votre noblesse et magnanimité au début, comme je le fais maintenant - vous a ouvert clairement ma vie d'agonie - vous a décrit ma faim et ma soif d'une existence plus élevée et plus digne - montrée à vous, pas à ma résolution (ce mot est faible), mais mon inflexible s'est plié à aimer fidèlement et bien, où je suis fidèlement et bien aimé en retour. Then I should have asked you to accept my pledge of fidelity and to give me yours. Then I should have asked you to accept my pledge of fidelity and to give me yours. Alors j'aurais dû vous demander d'accepter mon engagement de fidélité et de me donner le vôtre. Jane—give it me now.”

A pause.

“Why are you silent, Jane?”

I was experiencing an ordeal: a hand of fiery iron grasped my vitals. ||||severe trial||||||||essential organs J'étais en train de vivre une épreuve: une main de fer ardent a saisi mes signes vitaux.

Terrible moment: full of struggle, blackness, burning! Moment terrible: plein de lutte, de noirceur, de brûlure! Not a human being that ever lived could wish to be loved better than I was loved; and him who thus loved me I absolutely worshipped: and I must renounce love and idol. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||give up||| Aucun être humain qui ait jamais vécu ne pourrait souhaiter être aimé mieux que moi; et celui qui m'aimait ainsi, je l'adorais absolument: et je dois renoncer à l'amour et à l'idole. One drear word comprised my intolerable duty—“Depart!” |||||||Leave immediately Un mot triste comprenait mon devoir intolérable: «Partez!

“Jane, you understand what I want of you?

Just this promise—‘I will be yours, Mr. Rochester. '” “Mr.

Rochester, I will not be yours.”

Another long silence.

“Jane!” recommenced he, with a gentleness that broke me down with grief, and turned me stone-cold with ominous terror—for this still voice was the pant of a lion rising—“Jane, do you mean to go one way in the world, and to let me go another?” |||||softness|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| "Jeanne!" recommença-t-il, avec une douceur qui me brisa de chagrin et me rendit glacial par une terreur inquiétante - car cette voix calme était le pantalon d'un lion qui se levait - - Jane, veux-tu faire un chemin dans le monde, et pour me laisser aller un autre?

“I do.”

“Jane” (bending towards and embracing me), “do you mean it now?”

“I do.”

“And now?” softly kissing my forehead and cheek.

“I do,” extricating myself from restraint rapidly and completely. ||freeing|||||| «Oui», me dégageant rapidement et complètement de la contrainte.

“Oh, Jane, this is bitter! «Oh, Jane, c'est amer!

This—this is wicked. It would not be wicked to love me.” Ce ne serait pas méchant de m'aimer.

“It would to obey you.”

A wild look raised his brows—crossed his features: he rose; but he forebore yet. |||||||||||||refrained| Un regard sauvage souleva ses sourcils, croisa ses traits: il se leva; mais il avait encore du mal.

I laid my hand on the back of a chair for support: I shook, I feared—but I resolved. J'ai posé ma main sur le dossier d'une chaise pour me soutenir: je tremblais, j'avais peur - mais j'ai résolu.

“One instant, Jane.

Give one glance to my horrible life when you are gone. Donne un coup d'œil à mon horrible vie quand tu seras parti. All happiness will be torn away with you. Tout le bonheur sera déchiré avec vous. What then is left? Que reste-t-il alors? For a wife I have but the maniac upstairs: as well might you refer me to some corpse in yonder churchyard. Pour une femme, je n'ai que le maniaque à l'étage: tu pourrais aussi me référer à un cadavre dans ce cimetière. What shall I do, Jane? Where turn for a companion and for some hope?”

“Do as I do: trust in God and yourself. "Faites comme moi : ayez confiance en Dieu et en vous-même.

Believe in heaven. Hope to meet again there.” J'espère vous revoir là-bas.

“Then you will not yield?” «Alors tu ne céderas pas?

“No.”

“Then you condemn me to live wretched and to die accursed?”  His voice rose. «Alors vous me condamnez à vivre misérable et à mourir maudit?» Sa voix s'éleva.

“I advise you to live sinless, and I wish you to die tranquil.” |||||without committing sins||||||| «Je vous conseille de vivre sans péché et je vous souhaite de mourir tranquille.»

“Then you snatch love and innocence from me? «Alors vous m'arrachez l'amour et l'innocence?

You fling me back on lust for a passion—vice for an occupation?” |||||intense desire||||||| Vous me renvoyez à la convoitise d'une passion - vice d'un métier?

“Mr.

Rochester, I no more assign this fate to you than I grasp at it for myself. Rochester, je ne vous attribue pas plus ce sort que je ne le sais par moi-même. We were born to strive and endure—you as well as I: do so. Nous sommes nés pour lutter et endurer - vous aussi bien que moi: faites-le. You will forget me before I forget you.”

“You make me a liar by such language: you sully my honour. |||||||||tarnish|| «Vous faites de moi un menteur par un tel langage: vous souillez mon honneur.

I declared I could not change: you tell me to my face I shall change soon. J'ai déclaré que je ne pouvais pas changer: tu me dis en face que je changerai bientôt. And what a distortion in your judgment, what a perversity in your ideas, is proved by your conduct! |||||||||Contrariness|||||||| Et quelle distorsion dans votre jugement, quelle perversité dans vos idées, est prouvée par votre conduite! Is it better to drive a fellow-creature to despair than to transgress a mere human law, no man being injured by the breach? ||||||||||||Violate||||||||||| Vaut-il mieux conduire un semblable au désespoir que de transgresser une simple loi humaine, aucun homme n'étant blessé par la violation? for you have neither relatives nor acquaintances whom you need fear to offend by living with me?” car vous n’avez ni parents ni connaissances à qui vous devez craindre d’offenser en vivant avec moi?

This was true: and while he spoke my very conscience and reason turned traitors against me, and charged me with crime in resisting him. C'était vrai: et pendant qu'il parlait, ma conscience et ma raison me tournaient les traîtres et m'accusaient de crime en lui résistant.

They spoke almost as loud as Feeling: and that clamoured wildly. |||||||||shouted noisily| Ils parlaient presque aussi fort que Feeling: et cela clamait follement. “Oh, comply!” it said. |"Follow the order"|| "Oh, obéissez!" Ça disait. “Think of his misery; think of his danger—look at his state when left alone; remember his headlong nature; consider the recklessness following on despair—soothe him; save him; love him; tell him you love him and will be his. «Pensez à sa misère; pensez à son danger - regardez son état lorsqu'il est laissé seul; souvenez-vous de sa nature impétueuse; considérez l'insouciance qui suit le désespoir - apaisez-le; sauve le; aime-le; dis-lui que tu l'aimes et que tu seras à lui. Who in the world cares for you ? Qui dans le monde prend soin de vous? or who will be injured by what you do?” ou qui sera blessé par ce que vous faites? »

Still indomitable was the reply—“ I care for myself. |unconquerable||||||| La réponse resta indomptable: «Je prends soin de moi.

The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself. ||||||||unsupported|||||||| Plus je suis solitaire, plus sans amis, moins soutenu, plus je me respecterai. I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man. ||||||||approved by|| I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad—as I am now. Je m'en tiendrai aux principes que j'ai reçus lorsque j'étais sain d'esprit et non fou, comme je le suis aujourd'hui. Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||strictness|Strict and binding|||Unbroken or sacred||| Les lois et les principes ne sont pas faits pour les moments où il n'y a pas de tentation ; ils sont faits pour des moments comme celui-ci, où le corps et l'âme se révoltent contre leur rigueur ; ils sont rigoureux ; ils doivent être inviolés. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? Si, à ma convenance, je pouvais les briser, quelle serait leur valeur ? They have a worth—so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane—quite insane: with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot.” Preformed||Predetermined|Decisions||||||||||||||| Des opinions préconçues, des déterminations abandonnées, sont tout ce que j'ai à cette heure à attendre: là je plante mon pied.

I did.

Mr. Rochester, reading my countenance, saw I had done so. M. Rochester, lisant mon visage, a vu que je l'avais fait. His fury was wrought to the highest: he must yield to it for a moment, whatever followed; he crossed the floor and seized my arm and grasped my waist. Sa fureur était exercée au plus haut: il devait y céder un instant, quoi qu'il en soit; il a traversé le sol et a saisi mon bras et a saisi ma taille. He seemed to devour me with his flaming glance: physically, I felt, at the moment, powerless as stubble exposed to the draught and glow of a furnace: mentally, I still possessed my soul, and with it the certainty of ultimate safety. |||||||||||||||||dry plant remains||||||||||||||||||||||eventual| Il semblait me dévorer de son regard enflammé: physiquement, je me sentais, en ce moment, impuissant comme un chaume exposé au courant d'air et à la lueur d'une fournaise: mentalement, je possédais encore mon âme, et avec elle la certitude d'une ultime sécurité. The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter—often an unconscious, but still a truthful interpreter—in the eye. |||||truthful revealer||||||||||| L'âme, heureusement, a un interprète - souvent un interprète inconscient, mais toujours véridique - dans l'œil. My eye rose to his; and while I looked in his fierce face I gave an involuntary sigh; his gripe was painful, and my over-taxed strength almost exhausted. |||||||||||||||||||tight grip||||||overburdened||| Mon œil s'est levé vers le sien; et tandis que je regardais son visage féroce, je poussai un soupir involontaire; sa plainte était douloureuse, et ma force surchargée était presque épuisée.

“Never,” said he, as he ground his teeth, “never was anything at once so frail and so indomitable. «Jamais, dit-il en se serrant les dents, jamais rien n'a été à la fois si fragile et si indomptable.

A mere reed she feels in my hand!”  (And he shook me with the force of his hold. Un simple roseau qu'elle sent dans ma main! (Et il m'a secoué avec la force de sa prise. )  “I could bend her with my finger and thumb: and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed her? ||||||||||||||||||||tore up|||| ) «Je pourrais la plier avec mon doigt et mon pouce: et à quoi cela servirait-il si je me courbais, si je remontais, si je l'écrasais? Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free thing looking out of it, defying me, with more than courage—with a stern triumph. Considérez cet œil: considérez la chose résolue, sauvage et libre qui regarde hors de lui, me défiant, avec plus que du courage - avec un triomphe sévère. Whatever I do with its cage, I cannot get at it—the savage, beautiful creature! Quoi que je fasse avec sa cage, je ne peux pas l'atteindre - la belle et sauvage créature! If I tear, if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only let the captive loose. |||||tear apart||||||||||| Si je déchire, si je déchire la petite prison, mon indignation ne fera que libérer le captif. Conqueror I might be of the house; but the inmate would escape to heaven before I could call myself possessor of its clay dwelling-place. Victorious ruler|||||||||||||||||||rightful owner|||physical body|| Conquérant je pourrais être de la maison; mais le détenu s'échapperait au ciel avant que je puisse me dire propriétaire de sa demeure d'argile. And it is you, spirit—with will and energy, and virtue and purity—that I want: not alone your brittle frame. |||||||||||||||||||fragile physical body| Et c'est toi, esprit - avec volonté et énergie, et vertu et pureté - que je veux: pas seulement ton corps fragile. Of yourself you could come with soft flight and nestle against my heart, if you would: seized against your will, you will elude the grasp like an essence—you will vanish ere I inhale your fragrance. |||||||||settle closely|||||||||||||||||||||||||| De vous-même, vous pourriez venir avec un vol doux et vous blottir contre mon cœur, si vous le vouliez: saisis contre votre volonté, vous échapperez à l'étreinte comme une essence - vous disparaîtriez avant que j'inhale votre parfum. Oh! come, Jane, come!”

As he said this, he released me from his clutch, and only looked at me. |||||||||tight grip||||| En disant cela, il me libéra de son embrayage et ne me regarda.

The look was far worse to resist than the frantic strain: only an idiot, however, would have succumbed now. |||||||||||||||||given in| Le regard était bien pire à résister que la tension effrénée: seul un idiot, cependant, aurait succombé maintenant. I had dared and baffled his fury; I must elude his sorrow: I retired to the door. J'avais osé et étouffé sa fureur; Je dois échapper à son chagrin: je me suis retiré à la porte.

“You are going, Jane?”

“I am going, sir.”

“You are leaving me?”

“Yes.”

“You will not come?

You will not be my comforter, my rescuer? |||||||savior My deep love, my wild woe, my frantic prayer, are all nothing to you?” Mon amour profond, mon malheur sauvage, ma prière effrénée, tout cela n'est-il rien pour vous?

What unutterable pathos was in his voice! Quel pathos inexprimable dans sa voix!

How hard it was to reiterate firmly, “I am going.” |||||repeat assertively|||| Comme il était difficile de répéter fermement : "J'y vais".

“Jane!”

“Mr.

Rochester!”

“Withdraw, then,—I consent; but remember, you leave me here in anguish. "Retirez-vous donc, j'y consens ; mais souvenez-vous que vous me laissez ici dans l'angoisse.

Go up to your own room; think over all I have said, and, Jane, cast a glance on my sufferings—think of me.”

He turned away; he threw himself on his face on the sofa. Il se détourna; il se jeta sur le visage sur le canapé.

“Oh, Jane! my hope—my love—my life!” broke in anguish from his lips. Then came a deep, strong sob.

I had already gained the door; but, reader, I walked back—walked back as determinedly as I had retreated. J'avais déjà atteint la porte ; mais, lecteur, je suis revenu sur mes pas, avec autant de détermination que j'avais reculé.

I knelt down by him; I turned his face from the cushion to me; I kissed his cheek; I smoothed his hair with my hand.

“God bless you, my dear master!” I said.

“God keep you from harm and wrong—direct you, solace you—reward you well for your past kindness to me.” «Dieu vous garde du mal et du mal - vous dirige, vous réconforte - vous récompense bien pour votre bonté passée envers moi.

“Little Jane's love would have been my best reward,” he answered; “without it, my heart is broken. But Jane will give me her love: yes—nobly, generously.” Mais Jane me donnera son amour : oui, noblement, généreusement".

Up the blood rushed to his face; forth flashed the fire from his eyes; erect he sprang; he held his arms out; but I evaded the embrace, and at once quitted the room. ||||||||||||||||||||||||avoided|||||||| Le sang monta sur son visage; le feu jaillit de ses yeux; debout, il bondit; il tendit les bras; mais j'évitai l'étreinte et quittai aussitôt la pièce.

“Farewell!” was the cry of my heart as I left him.

Despair added, “Farewell for ever!”

* * * * *

That night I never thought to sleep; but a slumber fell on me as soon as I lay down in bed. Cette nuit-là, je n'ai jamais pensé dormir; mais un sommeil s'abattit sur moi dès que je me couchai.

I was transported in thought to the scenes of childhood: I dreamt I lay in the red-room at Gateshead; that the night was dark, and my mind impressed with strange fears. The light that long ago had struck me into syncope, recalled in this vision, seemed glidingly to mount the wall, and tremblingly to pause in the centre of the obscured ceiling. |||||||||fainting spell||||||smoothly||||||with a tremor||||||||| La lumière qui, il y a longtemps, m'avait frappé dans la syncope, rappelée dans cette vision, semblait glissante monter au mur, et en tremblant s'arrêter au centre du plafond obscurci. I lifted up my head to look: the roof resolved to clouds, high and dim; the gleam was such as the moon imparts to vapours she is about to sever. ||||||||||||||||||||||gives to||misty clouds||||| Je levai la tête pour regarder: le toit résolu en nuages, haut et obscur; la lueur était telle que la lune donne aux vapeurs qu'elle va rompre. I watched her come—watched with the strangest anticipation; as though some word of doom were to be written on her disk. Je la regardai venir, la regardai avec la plus étrange anticipation; comme si un mot de malheur devait être écrit sur son disque. She broke forth as never moon yet burst from cloud: a hand first penetrated the sable folds and waved them away; then, not a moon, but a white human form shone in the azure, inclining a glorious brow earthward. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||toward the ground Elle éclata comme jamais la lune éclata du nuage: une main pénétra d'abord dans les plis de sable et les éloigna; alors, non pas une lune, mais une forme humaine blanche brillait dans l'azur, inclinant un front glorieux vers la terre. It gazed and gazed on me. Il m'a regardé et regardé. It spoke to my spirit: immeasurably distant was the tone, yet so near, it whispered in my heart— |||||infinitely||||||||||||

“My daughter, flee temptation.” «Ma fille, fuyez la tentation.»

“Mother, I will.”

So I answered after I had waked from the trance-like dream. |||||||||hypnotic state|| C'est ce que j'ai répondu après m'être réveillé de ce rêve en transe.

It was yet night, but July nights are short: soon after midnight, dawn comes. “It cannot be too early to commence the task I have to fulfil,” thought I.  I rose: I was dressed; for I had taken off nothing but my shoes. «Il ne peut pas être trop tôt pour commencer la tâche que j'ai à accomplir», pensai-je. Je me levai: j'étais habillé; car je n'avais enlevé que mes chaussures. I knew where to find in my drawers some linen, a locket, a ring. Je savais où trouver dans mes tiroirs du linge, un médaillon, une bague. In seeking these articles, I encountered the beads of a pearl necklace Mr. Rochester had forced me to accept a few days ago. En cherchant ces articles, j'ai rencontré les perles d'un collier de perles que M. Rochester m'avait contraint d'accepter il y a quelques jours. I left that; it was not mine: it was the visionary bride's who had melted in air. J'ai laissé ça; ce n'était pas la mienne: c'était la mariée visionnaire qui avait fondu dans l'air. The other articles I made up in a parcel; my purse, containing twenty shillings (it was all I had), I put in my pocket: I tied on my straw bonnet, pinned my shawl, took the parcel and my slippers, which I would not put on yet, and stole from my room. Les autres articles que j'ai confectionnés dans un colis; mon sac à main, contenant vingt shillings (c'était tout ce que j'avais), je l'ai mis dans ma poche: j'ai attaché mon bonnet de paille, j'ai épinglé mon châle, j'ai pris le colis et mes pantoufles, que je ne mettrais pas encore, et j'ai volé pièce.

“Farewell, kind Mrs. Fairfax!” I whispered, as I glided past her door. «Adieu, gentille Mme Fairfax! Ai-je chuchoté en passant devant sa porte.

“Farewell, my darling Adèle!” I said, as I glanced towards the nursery. No thought could be admitted of entering to embrace her. Aucune pensée ne pouvait être admise d'entrer pour l'étreindre. I had to deceive a fine ear: for aught I knew it might now be listening. Je devais tromper une belle oreille: pour tout ce que je savais, c'était peut-être à présent écouter.

I would have got past Mr. Rochester's chamber without a pause; but my heart momentarily stopping its beat at that threshold, my foot was forced to stop also. J'aurais dépassé la chambre de M. Rochester sans une pause; mais mon cœur arrêtant momentanément son battement à ce seuil, mon pied fut obligé de s'arrêter aussi. No sleep was there: the inmate was walking restlessly from wall to wall; and again and again he sighed while I listened. Il n'y avait pas de sommeil: le détenu marchait sans relâche d'un mur à l'autre; et encore et encore il soupira pendant que j'écoutais. There was a heaven—a temporary heaven—in this room for me, if I chose: I had but to go in and to say— Il y avait un paradis - un paradis temporaire - dans cette pièce pour moi, si je le voulais: je n'avais qu'à entrer et dire -

“Mr.

Rochester, I will love you and live with you through life till death,” and a fount of rapture would spring to my lips. Rochester, je t'aimerai et je vivrai avec toi jusqu'à la mort », et une source de ravissement jaillirait à mes lèvres. I thought of this.

That kind master, who could not sleep now, was waiting with impatience for day. Ce bon maître, qui ne pouvait plus dormir maintenant, attendait avec impatience le jour.

He would send for me in the morning; I should be gone. Il m'envoyait chercher le matin; Je devrais être parti. He would have me sought for: vainly. Il voulait me chercher: en vain. He would feel himself forsaken; his love rejected: he would suffer; perhaps grow desperate. Il se sentirait abandonné; son amour rejeté: il souffrirait; peut-être devenir désespéré. I thought of this too. My hand moved towards the lock: I caught it back, and glided on. Ma main se dirigea vers la serrure: je la rattrapai et glissai dessus.

Drearily I wound my way downstairs: I knew what I had to do, and I did it mechanically. Tristement je me suis frayé un chemin en bas: je savais ce que j'avais à faire et je l'ai fait mécaniquement.

I sought the key of the side-door in the kitchen; I sought, too, a phial of oil and a feather; I oiled the key and the lock. ||||||||||||||||||||||lubricated||||| J'ai cherché la clé de la porte latérale de la cuisine; Je cherchais aussi une fiole d'huile et une plume; J'ai huilé la clé et la serrure. I got some water, I got some bread: for perhaps I should have to walk far; and my strength, sorely shaken of late, must not break down. |||||||||||||||||||severely||||||| J'ai de l'eau, du pain: car peut-être devrais-je marcher loin; et ma force, profondément ébranlée récemment, ne doit pas s'effondrer. All this I did without one sound. I opened the door, passed out, shut it softly. Dim dawn glimmered in the yard. L'aube tamisée brillait dans la cour. The great gates were closed and locked; but a wicket in one of them was only latched. ||||||||||||||||secured but unlocked Les grandes portes étaient fermées et verrouillées; mais un guichet dans l'un d'eux était seulement verrouillé. Through that I departed: it, too, I shut; and now I was out of Thornfield.

A mile off, beyond the fields, lay a road which stretched in the contrary direction to Millcote; a road I had never travelled, but often noticed, and wondered where it led: thither I bent my steps. A mille au loin, au-delà des champs, se trouvait une route qui s'étendait en sens contraire jusqu'à Millcote; une route que je n'avais jamais parcourue, mais que je remarquais souvent, et je me demandais où elle conduisait: là je pliai mes pas.

No reflection was to be allowed now: not one glance was to be cast back; not even one forward. Aucune réflexion ne devait être autorisée maintenant: aucun regard ne devait être jeté en arrière; pas même un en avant. Not one thought was to be given either to the past or the future. Aucune pensée ne devait être donnée ni au passé ni au futur. The first was a page so heavenly sweet—so deadly sad—that to read one line of it would dissolve my courage and break down my energy. La première était une page si merveilleusement douce - si triste - que d'en lire une seule ligne dissoudrait mon courage et décomposerait mon énergie. The last was an awful blank: something like the world when the deluge was gone by. ||||||||||||great flood||| Le dernier était un vide terrible: quelque chose comme le monde quand le déluge était passé.

I skirted fields, and hedges, and lanes till after sunrise. J'ai longé des champs, des haies et des ruelles jusqu'à après le lever du soleil.

I believe it was a lovely summer morning: I know my shoes, which I had put on when I left the house, were soon wet with dew. Je crois que c'était une belle matinée d'été: je sais que mes chaussures, que j'avais enfilées en sortant de la maison, furent bientôt humides de rosée. But I looked neither to rising sun, nor smiling sky, nor wakening nature. |||||||||||coming to life| He who is taken out to pass through a fair scene to the scaffold, thinks not of the flowers that smile on his road, but of the block and axe-edge; of the disseverment of bone and vein; of the grave gaping at the end: and I thought of drear flight and homeless wandering—and oh! |||||||||||||execution platform||||||||||||||||executioner's tool||||Separation|||||||||||||||||||without shelter||| Celui qui est emmené à travers une belle scène jusqu'à l'échafaud, ne pense pas aux fleurs qui sourient sur sa route, mais au bloc et au bord de la hache; de la disseverment des os et des veines; de la tombe béante à la fin: et j'ai pensé à un vol triste et à l'errance des sans-abri - et oh! with agony I thought of what I left. I could not help it. Je ne pouvais pas l'aider. I thought of him now—in his room—watching the sunrise; hoping I should soon come to say I would stay with him and be his. I longed to be his; I panted to return: it was not too late; I could yet spare him the bitter pang of bereavement. |||||||||||||||||||||||loss of loved one J'avais envie d'être à lui; J'ai haleté pour revenir: il n'était pas trop tard; Je pourrais encore lui épargner la douleur amère du deuil. As yet my flight, I was sure, was undiscovered. ||||||||not detected yet J'étais sûr que mon vol était encore inconnu. I could go back and be his comforter—his pride; his redeemer from misery, perhaps from ruin. |||||||||||savior from suffering||||| Je pourrais revenir en arrière et être son consolateur - sa fierté; son rédempteur de la misère, peut-être de la ruine. Oh, that fear of his self-abandonment—far worse than my abandonment—how it goaded me! ||||||self-surrender||||||||| Oh, cette peur de son abandon de soi - bien pire que mon abandon - comme elle m'a aiguillonné! It was a barbed arrow-head in my breast; it tore me when I tried to extract it; it sickened me when remembrance thrust it farther in. |||painful||||||||||||||||||||||| C'était une pointe de flèche barbelée dans ma poitrine; ça m'a déchiré quand j'ai essayé de l'extraire; cela m'a écœuré quand le souvenir l'a poussé plus loin. Birds began singing in brake and copse: birds were faithful to their mates; birds were emblems of love. ||||dense thicket||small wooded area|||||||||symbols of love|| Les oiseaux se mirent à chanter dans les bosquets et les bosquets: les oiseaux étaient fidèles à leurs compagnons; les oiseaux étaient des emblèmes de l'amour. What was I? In the midst of my pain of heart and frantic effort of principle, I abhorred myself. Au milieu de ma douleur de cœur et de mon effort frénétique de principe, je me détestais. I had no solace from self-approbation: none even from self-respect. Je n'ai eu aucun réconfort de l'auto-approbation: aucun même du respect de moi-même. I had injured—wounded—left my master. I was hateful in my own eyes. Still I could not turn, nor retrace one step. ||||||go back|| Je ne pouvais toujours pas me retourner ni revenir sur un pas. God must have led me on. Dieu a dû me conduire. As to my own will or conscience, impassioned grief had trampled one and stifled the other. |||||||intensely emotional||||||Suppressed or silenced|| Quant à ma propre volonté ou conscience, une douleur passionnée avait piétiné l'un et étouffé l'autre. I was weeping wildly as I walked along my solitary way: fast, fast I went like one delirious. A weakness, beginning inwardly, extending to the limbs, seized me, and I fell: I lay on the ground some minutes, pressing my face to the wet turf. Une faiblesse, commençant à l'intérieur, s'étendant aux membres, me saisit, et je tombai : je restai allongé sur le sol pendant quelques minutes, pressant mon visage sur le gazon mouillé. I had some fear—or hope—that here I should die: but I was soon up; crawling forwards on my hands and knees, and then again raised to my feet—as eager and as determined as ever to reach the road. ||||||||||||||||moving on hands|||||||||||||||||||||||| J'avais une certaine crainte - ou espoir - que je meure ici: mais j'étais bientôt debout; rampant en avant sur mes mains et mes genoux, puis de nouveau sur mes pieds, aussi désireux et aussi déterminé que jamais de rejoindre la route.

When I got there, I was forced to sit to rest me under the hedge; and while I sat, I heard wheels, and saw a coach come on.

I stood up and lifted my hand; it stopped. I asked where it was going: the driver named a place a long way off, and where I was sure Mr. Rochester had no connections. J'ai demandé où il allait : le chauffeur a indiqué un endroit très éloigné, où je suis sûr que M. Rochester n'a aucune relation. I asked for what sum he would take me there; he said thirty shillings; I answered I had but twenty; well, he would try to make it do. J'ai demandé quelle somme il m'emmènerait là-bas; il a dit trente shillings; J'ai répondu que je n'en avais que vingt; eh bien, il essaierait de le faire. He further gave me leave to get into the inside, as the vehicle was empty: I entered, was shut in, and it rolled on its way. Il m'a en outre autorisé à entrer à l'intérieur, car le véhicule était vide: je suis entré, j'étais enfermé et il a roulé sur son chemin.

Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt!

May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. Que vos yeux ne versent jamais des larmes aussi orageuses, brûlantes et déchirantes que les miennes. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonised as in that hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love. ||||||||||||deeply distressed||||||||||||||||||||||||| Puissiez-vous ne jamais faire appel au Ciel dans des prières si désespérées et si angoissées qu'à cette heure-là, j'ai quitté mes lèvres; car vous ne pourrez jamais, comme moi, redouter d'être l'instrument du mal de ce que vous aimez entièrement.