60 Saniyeden Fazlası | Nazlı Çelik | TEDxBahcesehirUniversity than seconds|more|Nazlı|Çelik|TEDxBahcesehirUniversity Mehr als 60 Sekunden | Nazlı Çelik | TEDxBahcesehirUniversity Plus de 60 secondes | Nazlı Çelik | TEDxBahcesehirUniversity Mer än 60 sekunder | Nazlı Çelik | TEDxBahcesehirUniversity More than 60 Seconds | Nazlı Çelik | TEDxBahcesehirUniversity

Çeviri: Orkun Nazim Kadioglu Gözden geçirme: Yunus ASIK Translation|Orkun|Nazim|Kadioglu|From|review|Yunus|ASIK Translation: Orkun Nazim Kadioglu Review: Yunus ASIK

Hepinize merhaba! Hello to all of you|hello Hello everyone!

Hayli içli, böyle dokunaklı ve biraz ürkek içine kapanık bir kız çocuğuydum aslında. ziemlich|||||||||||| quite|sensitive|so|touching|and|a little|timid|inwardly|withdrawn|a|girl|I was| I was actually a very sensitive, touching, and somewhat shy and introverted little girl.

Annem, önümüzden geçen ambulansın ardından üç gün ağladığımı söyler durur. My mother|in front of us|passing|ambulance|after|three|days|I cried|says|keeps My mother keeps saying that I cried for three days after the ambulance passed by us.

Acaba içindeki hastaneye yetişti mi, kurtuldu mu diye. I wonder|inside|to the hospital|he/she arrived|question particle|he/she survived|question particle|in order to I wonder if the patient inside made it to the hospital, if they survived.

İlkokulda notlarımın 1,25 – 1,50'nin üzerine geçtiğini pek hatırlamam ama |my grades|150's|above|passing|not|I remember|but I don't really remember my grades in elementary school going above 1.25 - 1.50, but

hani her yedi yılda bir insanın saçının, cildinin bile you know|every|seven|years|once|person's|hair|skin|even you know how every seven years a person's hair, skin even,

kabuk değiştirdiği söylenir ya sanıyorum ben de tam 15 yaşımda shell|that he/she/it changed|is said|you know|I think|I|also|exactly|at the age of 15 It is said that one sheds their skin, and I believe I did so at the age of 15.

yatılı okul için dört yıllığına İsviçre'ye gittiğimde boarding|school|for|four|years||when I went When I went to Switzerland for a four-year boarding school.

kişiliğim, karakterim tam da bu zamanda kabuk değiştirdi. my personality|my character|exactly|also|this|time|shell| My personality and character changed exactly at this time.

Sonrasında üniversiteye gittim ama annemin eteğinden Afterwards|to university|I went|but|my mother's|from the hem of After that, I went to university, but I was still attached to my mother's apron.

ayrılmadığım gerçeği hiçbir zaman değişmedi bu arada. I didn't leave|the fact|no|time|changed|this|in between the fact that I never left has never changed in the meantime.

Üniversiteye gittim, dört yıllık üniversiteyi to university|I went|four|year|university I went to university, the four-year university

üç senede alelacele takdir teşekkürle bitirdim. three|in years|hastily|with honors|with gratitude|I finished I finished in three years with honors.

Sanki ilerisini görmüş gibi televizyon bölümünün As if|future|seen|like|television|department As if I could see the future, the television department's

yanı sıra bir de psikoloji okudum, mezun oldum, döndüm. in addition|to|one|also|psychology|I studied|I graduated|I became|I returned I also studied psychology, graduated, and returned.

Bu hiçbir zaman okul sıralarını çok sevdiğim anlamına gelmesin, This|ever|time|school|desks|very|I loved|meaning|should not come This should not mean that I have always loved school.

çünkü sonrasındaki iş hayatım benim her zaman gerçeğim ve because|subsequent|work|my life|my|every|always|reality|and Because my subsequent work life has always been my reality and

aslında hayat tarzım oldu. actually|life|my style|became actually my lifestyle.

Yine küçükken annem beni bir gün Taksim Meydanı'na götürmüş, Again|when I was little|my mother|me|one|day|Taksim|to the Square|had taken When I was little, my mother took me to Taksim Square one day,

el ele yolda yürüyoruz birlikte yoldan geçen bir deli üzerime tükürmüş. hand|together|on the road|we walk|together|from the road|passing|a|crazy person|on me|spat we were walking hand in hand when a crazy person passing by spat on me.

Annem tabii pimpirikli koşa koşa eve dönmüşüz, ||nervous|||| My mom|of course|anxious|||home|we returned Of course, my mother, being anxious, rushed us home,

beş gün boyunca beni çiteleye çiteleye yıkamış, ||||schrubben|| five|days|for|me|scrubbing|scrubbing|had washed and for five days, she scrubbed me clean.

bu tabii ki benim 1999 yılında this|of course|particle|my|in the year this of course was my last time seeing

-NTV'de muhabir olarak işe başladığım yıla dek- at NTV|reporter|as|to work|I started|to the year|until -until the year I started working as a reporter at NTV in 1999-

Taksim Meydanı'nı son kez görüşüm oldu. Taksim|Square|last|time|meeting|was Taksim Square.

Sonra 1999 yılında, NTV'de staj dönemi başladı ilk önce. Then|in the year|at NTV|internship|period|started|first|before Then in 1999, the internship period at NTV began first.

Kapıdan içeriye girdim; hangi bölüme girmeliyim, ne yapmalıyım diye… from the door|inside|I entered|which|department|should I enter|what|should I do|thinking I walked in through the door; I was wondering which department I should enter, what I should do...

Baktım işte kültür sanat bölümü, I looked|here|culture|art|department I looked, there is the culture and arts department,

sanatlar, sanat dersleri, sergiler var, işte çokça konserler… Hiç bana göre değil. arts|art|classes|exhibitions|there are|well|many|concerts|never|to me|according to|not there are arts, art classes, exhibitions, and many concerts... None of it is for me.

Ekonomi bölümüne gittim, rakamlarla aram hiçbir zaman çok iyi olmadı. |||mit Zahlen|||||| Economics|department|I went|with numbers|relationship|never|time|very|good|was I went to the economics department, I have never been very good with numbers.

TEFE, TÜFE, kahvaltılı basın toplantıları… Wholesale Price Index|Consumer Price Index|with breakfast|press|conferences TEFE, CPI, breakfast press conferences…

Orası da beni çok sarmadı. Spor bölümüne geçtim. That place|too|me|very|didn't engage|Sports|department|I switched That didn't really interest me much either. I switched to the sports section.

İşte maçlar, skorlar… Yok burası da değil dedim. |matches|scores|No|this place|either|not|I said Here are the matches, scores… No, this isn't it either, I said.

En son haber merkezine girdim, istihbarat bölümünde tam da kendimi buldum. |||||Nachrichtendienst||||| The|last|news|to the center|I entered|intelligence|in the department|exactly|also|myself|I found Finally, I entered the news center, and I found myself exactly in the intelligence section.

İçimdeki o; heyecan dolu, meraklı, araştırmacı, o soruşturmacı… |he|excitement|full|curious|investigative|he|inquisitive That part of me; excited, curious, investigative, that inquisitive one…

Adrenalin tutkusunu sanıyorum en çok da bu Adrenaline|passion|I think|the most|much|also|this I think the passion for adrenaline is most influenced by this.

NTV'de altı yıl boyunca sahada geçirdiğim yıllar çokça besledi. at NTV|six|years|for|in the field|my spent|years|greatly|nourished The years I spent in the field at NTV for six years greatly nourished this.

Yine o dönem Bayrampaşa Cezaevi'nde, F tipi cezaevlerini protestolar var. Again|that|period|Bayrampaşa|in Prison|F|type|prisons|protests|exist Again, during that period, there were protests against F-type prisons at Bayrampaşa Prison.

Bayrampaşa Cezaevi'nde de protestolar var. Bayrampaşa|in the prison|also|protests|there are There are protests at Bayrampaşa Prison.

Gece yarısı bir telefon çaldı, sanırsınız gizli göreve gidiyorum. Night|midnight|one|phone|rang|you would think|secret|mission|I am going A phone rang at midnight, you would think I'm going on a secret mission.

Parmak ucunda evden çıktığımı hatırlıyorum. Toe|on|from home|I left|I remember I remember leaving the house on tiptoe.

Çatışmalar, patlamalar… Conflicts|explosions Clashes, explosions...

En son iki gün sonra tekrar eve döndüm. The|last|two|days|later|again|home|I returned I returned home again two days later.

Kısacası kitaplarda okuduğumuz, filmlerde seyrettiğimiz In short|in books|we read|in movies|we watched In short, I wanted to touch upon the lives we read about in books and watch in movies.

o hayatlara değmek dokunmak istedim. those|lives|to touch|to reach|I wanted That's why you need to be right in the middle of the kitchen.

Bu yüzden de hani mutfağın tam da ortasında olmanız lazım. This|reason|too|you know|kitchen|exactly|also|in the middle|you should be|necessary So you have to be right in the middle of the kitchen.

Muhabirlik de bu işin mutfağıdır. Journalismus|||| Journalism|too|this|job's|is the kitchen Journalism is also the kitchen of this job.

O yüzden o yemeğin mutlaka biraz tuzunu ekmeniz lazım That|is why|that|meal|definitely|a little|its salt|you should add|necessary That's why you definitely need to add a bit of salt to that dish.

ve hatta iki tas da kavurmanız lazım. and|even|two|bowl|also|you need to fry|necessary And you even need to roast it twice.

Çünkü yaşamadan anlatılmıyor, anlatılsa da gerçekçi olmuyor. Because|without living|it is not explained|if it were explained|also|realistic|it is not Because it can't be explained without experiencing it, and even if it is explained, it doesn't feel realistic.

O yüzden bugün genel yayın yönetmeni olsam da that|reason|today|general|publication|editor|I were|too That's why even if I am the editor-in-chief today,

muhabir olarak kalmam, hep bu yüzden. reporter|as|my staying|always|this|reason I won't remain a reporter, always for this reason.

Çatışmalar, sorgular hepsi bir yana dursun. Conflicts|inquiries|all|one|aside|may remain Conflicts, inquiries, all aside.

Sanıyorum duygusallık boyutumu en çok da kol mesafesinde I think|emotionality|my dimension|most|very|also|arm|at a distance I think my emotional dimension is most at arm's length.

gördüğüm iki yüzün üzerinde cesette test ettim. |||||prüfen| I saw|two|faces|on|corpses|tested|I I tested on over two hundred corpses that I saw.

O dönem nişanlanıyorum. I|period|am getting engaged At that time, I am getting engaged.

Üzeyir Garih, bizim aile dostumuz nişana katıldı. |Garih (proper name)||||| Üzeyir|Garih|our|family|friend|engagement|attended Üzeyir Garih, our family friend, attended the engagement.

Bir hafta sonra ben de haber merkezinde oturuyorum, A|week|later|I|also|news|in the center|will be sitting A week later, I am sitting in the news center,

polis telsizinden bir anons… |vom Funkgerät|| police|from the radio|a|announcement an announcement over the police radio…

O dönem polis telsizi dinlerdik, kodları hâlâ ezbere bilirim. That|period|police|radio|we used to listen|codes|still|by heart|I know At that time, we used to listen to the police radio, I can still recite the codes by heart.

[POLİS TELSİZİ] “Üzeyir Garih, Piyer Loti Mezarlığı'nda öldürüldü.” ||Üzeyir|Garih|Pierre|Loti|in the cemetery|was killed [POLICE RADIO] "Üzeyir Garih was killed in Pierre Loti Cemetery."

Olabilir mi acaba dedim, gerçek olabilir mi? Could it be|question particle|I wonder|I said|real|could be|question particle Could it be, I wondered, could it be real?

Koşa koşa gittim olay yerine. Running|running|I went|incident|to the place I ran to the scene.

Baktım, gerçekten o. Kanlar içinde yatıyor. I looked|really|him|blood|in|is lying I looked, it was really him. He was lying in a pool of blood.

Çok üzüldüm, saatlerce ağladığımı hatırlıyorum. very|I was sad|for hours|that I cried|I remember I was very sad, I remember crying for hours.

Bütün bu olayı takip ettim. All|this|event|followed|I I followed this whole event.

Katil yakalandı, duruşmalar başladı Fatih Adliyesi'nde. The murderer|was caught|trials|began|Fatih|in the courthouse The killer was caught, and the trials began at the Fatih Courthouse.

Tek tek bütün o duruşmaların hepsine katıldım ve adam dedi ki: One|by one|all|that|hearings|to all|I attended|and|the man|said|that I attended all of those trials one by one, and the man said:

“Ben aslında sadece yaralamıştım. Aşağıdan 'yardım, yardım' diye I|actually|only|had injured|From below|help|help|saying "I actually only injured him. When he was screaming 'help, help' from below,

bağırdığında tekrar yukarıya çıktım ve öldürdüm” dedi. when he shouted|again|upstairs|I went out|and|I killed|he said I went back up and killed him," he said.

Acaba dedim mümkün olabilir mi, şüphecilik işte. I wonder|I said|possible|could be|question particle|skepticism|that's it I wondered if it could be possible, that's skepticism.

Gittim Piyer Loti Mezarlığı'na bir kum saati koydum aşağıya, I went|Pierre|Loti|to the cemetery|a|sand|hourglass|I placed|down I went to Pierre Loti Cemetery and placed an hourglass down,

bütün o merdivenleri indim çıktım. all|that|stairs|I went down| I went up and down all those stairs.

Acaba bu kadar kısa sürede öldürmüş olabilir mi diye. I wonder|this|so much|short|in time|could have killed|could be|question particle|saying I wondered if he could have killed in such a short time.

Velhasıl bunun gibi çok olay yaşadım. in short|this|like|many|events|I experienced In short, I have experienced many events like this.

Kendi alanlarında lider olabilme potansiyeline sahip kişilerin seçildiği, |ihren Bereichen|||||| Their own|in their fields|leader|to be|potential|having|individuals|are selected People who have the potential to be leaders in their fields were selected,

Amerikan Dışişleri Bakanlığı'nın bir programı vardı bir buçuk ay süren. American|State|Department's|a|program|existed|a|half|month|lasting There was a program by the U.S. Department of State that lasted for a month and a half.

Ben de buna davetliydim. I|also|to this|was invited I was also invited to this.

Pentagon, Beyaz Saray gezilerinin de içerildiği bir program. Pentagon|White|House|of the trips|also|included|a|program A program that includes visits to the Pentagon and the White House.

O dönem Margaret Thatcher, Süleyman Demirel… That|period|Margaret|Thatcher|Süleyman|Demirel At that time, Margaret Thatcher, Süleyman Demirel...

Hepsi gençliklerinde katılmış. They all|in their youth|participated They all participated in their youth.

O yılda programa davet edilen tek Türk'tüm. That|year|to the program|invited|was|only|I was Turk I was the only Turkish person invited to the program that year.

Nereden bilebilirdim ki yıllar sonra meslek hayatımda from where|I could have known|that|years|later|profession|in my life How could I have known that years later in my professional life

sırf bu programa katıldım diye ajanlıkla suçlanacağımı… just|this|program|I participated|for|with espionage|I would be accused I would be accused of espionage just for participating in this program...

On dokuz yılı aşkın meslek hayatımda çok şey oldum aslında. In|nine|years|over|professional|in my life|many|things|I became|actually In my more than nineteen years of professional life, I have actually become many things.

Ergenekoncu oldum, yandaş oldum. Ergenekon-Anhänger||supporter| supporter of Ergenekon|I became|ally|I became I became a supporter of Ergenekon, I became an ally.

Kendi ülkemin şu bayrağını takıyorum diye -hani bilirsiniz Amerikalılar, my own|country's|that|flag|I wear|saying|you know|you know|Americans I wear the flag of my own country - you know how Americans,

üzerlerine Amerikan bayrağından tişört, üzerine şort giyerler- they wear on themselves|American|from the flag|t-shirt|on top of|shorts|they wear wear t-shirts with the American flag and shorts -

ben kendi ülkemin ay yıldızlı bayrağını taktım diye I|my|country's|moon|starry|flag|wore|because just because I wore the star and crescent flag of my own country,

bu ülkede ırkçı, faşist bile oldum. ||racist||| this|in the country|racist|fascist|even|I became I became a racist, fascist in this country.

Galiba kadın olunca hedef olmak da bir o kadar kolay oluyor ve |||Ziel sein|||||||| Apparently|woman|when|target|to be|also|one|that|as much|easy|becomes|and It seems that being a woman makes it just as easy to become a target and

doğrudur Türkiye'de kadın olmak kolay değil. it is true|in Turkey|woman|to be|easy|not it is true that being a woman in Turkey is not easy.

Çünkü erkek egemen bir medyada mücadele ediyoruz, çalışıyoruz hepimiz. Because|male|dominant|a|in media|struggle|we are|we work|all of us Because we are fighting in a male-dominated media, we are all working.

Mesela 1 Mayıs hiç unutmam, İşçi Bayramı. For example|May|never|I forget||Holiday For example, I will never forget May 1st, Labor Day.

Biz de o zaman hep beraber bütün meslektaşlarla beraber çekime gittik. We|also|that|time|always|together|all|with colleagues|together|to the shoot|went At that time, we all went to the shoot together with all the colleagues.

O meşhur Perpa Köprüsü'nün üzerinde bir hatıra fotoğrafı çekiyoruz; That|famous|Perpa|Bridge|on|a|souvenir|photo|we take We are taking a souvenir photo on that famous Perpa Bridge;

resme baktım 22 yaşındaki bir ben the picture|I looked|year old|a|me I looked at the picture, it's a 22-year-old me

ve bir kadın meslektaşım daha sadece iki kişiyiz. and|one|female|my colleague|more|only|two|we are people and just one female colleague, we are only two.

Yine geçen hafta, sanıyorum önceki haftaydı. Again|last|week|I think|previous|was week Again last week, I think it was the week before.

Çankaya Köşkü'ne, başbakan televizyonların ve Çankaya|to the Presidential Residence|prime minister|of the televisions|and The Prime Minister called the general editors of television and

gazetelerin genel yayın yönetmenlerini çağırdı. newspapers|general|publication|editors|called newspapers to the Çankaya Mansion.

Hep birlikte gittik, üşenmedim saydım. Always|together|we went|I didn't hesitate|I counted We all went together, I didn't hesitate to count.

Masada 43 kişi, sadece ikisi kadın, biri de ben. At Masada|people|only|two|women|one|also|I There are 43 people at the table, only two of them are women, and one of them is me.

Ne demek istediğimi aslında çok güzel ortaya koyan bir tablo bu. What|to mean|I want|actually|very|beautifully|out|putting|a|table|this This is a table that beautifully illustrates what I mean.

Çünkü sanıyorum bu erkek egemen medyada o kadar çalıştık Because|I think|this|male|dominant|in the media|that|much|we worked Because I think we have worked so hard in this male-dominated media.

çabaladık ki kadınlara pozitif ayrımcılığı hep we tried|so that|to women|positive|discrimination|always We have strived so much that positive discrimination for women has always been...

kendi haber merkezimde bilinçaltında uyguladım. |||unterbewusst| my|news|center|subconsciously|I applied I applied it subconsciously in my own news center.

O yüzden bugün İstanbul Haber Müdürü'nden, Ankara Haber Müdürü'ne; That|reason|today||News|from the Editor-in-Chief|Ankara|News|to the Editor-in-Chief That's why today I handed over everything from the Istanbul News Director to the Ankara News Director;

Yurt Haber Editörü'nden, Dış Haber Editörü'ne Domestic|News|from the Editor|Foreign|News|to the Editor from the Domestic News Editor to the Foreign News Editor.

tamamını kadınlara teslim ettim. all of it|to the women|I delivered|I did I entrusted it all to women.

Erkekler yerer gibi olmasın ama kadınların gözüne ve kalbine çok güveniyorum. Men|eat|like|should not be|but|women's|eye|and|heart|very|I trust Men shouldn't seem like they are devouring, but I have a lot of trust in women's eyes and hearts.

Yaptığımız iş de zaten kalp işi, aşkla yapıyoruz The work we do|work|also|already|heart|job|with love|we do What we do is already a matter of the heart, we do it with love.

biz yaptığımız işi, tutkuyla yapıyoruz. we|our|work|with passion|do We do our work with passion.

Aksi hâlde zaten yaptığınız işten de hayır gelmiyor. Otherwise|in that case|already|your|work|also|benefit|is coming Otherwise, you won't get any good from the work you do.

Mekanik değiliz tabii ki, elbette o büyülü ekranın camın etrafında Mechanical|we are not|of course|that|certainly|that|magical|screen|glass|around We are not mechanical, of course, certainly around the glass of that magical screen.

en fazla da biz hırpalanıyoruz ve insan çok travmatik olaylara ||||wir werden ramponiert||||| at most|much|too|we|are worn out|and|people|very|traumatic|to events At most, we are the ones getting worn out, and when a person is the scene of many traumatic events,

sahne olunca sanıyorum kırılma noktaları da bir o kadar fazla oluyor. stage|when|I think|breaking|points|also|one|that|much|many|are I think the breaking points are just as numerous.

Benimkilerden biri Mehmet. from my family|one|Mehmet One of mine is Mehmet.

Mehmet 7 yaşında, annesiyle babası boşanmak üzereler, Mehmet|years old|with his mother|his father|to divorce| Mehmet is 7 years old, his parents are about to get divorced,

velayet davası görülüyor. Sorgerecht|| custody|case|is being heard a custody case is being heard.

Annesi Kur'an kursu hocası, babası İmam His mother|Quran|course|teacher|His father| His mother is a Quran course teacher, his father is an Imam

ve babası bu kararın ardından farklı bir şehirde yaşamaya karar veriyor. and|his father|this|decision|after|different|one|in a city|to live|decision|he makes and after this decision, his father decides to live in a different city.

Biz de bu duruşmayı takip ediyoruz ve doğal olarak Mehmet'in de |||the trial||||||| We|also|this|trial|follow|are|and|naturally|as|Mehmet's|also We are also following this trial and naturally, the court is giving custody to Mehmet's mother because he is underage.

yaşı küçük olduğundan velayetini annesine veriyor mahkeme. age|minor|because|custody|to his mother|gives|court After that, he starts living with his mother.

Sonrasında annesiyle kalmaya başlıyor. Afterwards|with his mother|to stay|begins The child, of course, has accidents.

Çocuk tabii, altına kaçırıyor. The child|of course|to himself|urinates

Annesi döve döve komalık ediyor Mehmet'i. |||komatös|| His mother|beating|beating|unconscious|makes|Mehmet His mother is beating Mehmet until he becomes unconscious.

Buz gibi bir betonun üzerine koyuyor, Ice|like|a|concrete|on|puts She puts him on a freezing cold concrete,

sabaha kadar orada bekletiyor. until morning|for|there|keeps waiting and keeps him there until morning.

Korkusundan hastaneye bile kaldırmıyor. From fear|to the hospital|even|doesn't take Out of fear, she doesn't even take him to the hospital.

Sonra anneanne geliyor sabaha karşı, ne yaptın sen buna diyor. Then|grandmother|comes|in the morning|against|what|did you do|you|to this|says Then grandmother comes in the early morning, saying, 'What have you done to this?'

İşte böyle böyle diyor, alıyorlar hastaneye gidiyorlar. |like this|like this|he/she says|they take|to the hospital|they go They say, 'This is how it is,' and they take him to the hospital.

Bir hafta boyunca ölümle yaşam arasında mücadele ediyor, A|week|for|with death|life|between|struggle|he/she/it fights For a week, he struggles between life and death,

hayatta kalmaya çalışıyor ama maalesef in life|to survive|tries|but|unfortunately trying to survive, but unfortunately,

yedi yaşında veda ediyor bu hayata Mehmet. seven|years old|bids farewell|he does|this|to life|Mehmet Mehmet is saying goodbye to this life at the age of seven.

Sonrasında Mehmet'in babası, çokça etkileyen bir olaydır beni. Afterwards|Mehmet's|father|greatly|affecting|one|event|me Afterwards, Mehmet's father is a very impactful event for me.

Çünkü aklımda hep şu görüntü kaldı: Because|in my mind|always|that|image|remained Because this image has always remained in my mind:

O velayet davasında annesinin kucağında Mehmet, ağlıyor He|custody|in the trial|his mother's|in her arms|Mehmet|is crying In that custody case, Mehmet is crying in his mother's arms.

“Baba beni anneme bırakma, beni çok dövüyor.” diye. Dad|me|to my mom|don't leave|me|very|hits| "Dad, don't leave me with my mom, she beats me a lot."

Annesi de cimcikliyor Mehmet'i, daha fazla bağırmasın diye. His mother|also|pinches|Mehmet|more|loudly|he shouts|so His mother is also pinching Mehmet, so he won't scream anymore.

O haykırışları bir ay boyunca gitmedi benim rüyalarımdan. That|screams|one|month|throughout|did not leave|my|from dreams Those screams didn't leave my dreams for a month.

Sonrasında haber bitti, duruşma süreci oldu. Afterwards|news|ended|trial|process|occurred After that, the news ended, and the trial process began.

Ben de haber sonrasında bir yorum yaptım. I|also|news|after|a|comment|made I also made a comment after the news.

İsyanım, öz annesi tarafından öldürülüp üstelik mein Aufstand||||| |biological|mother|by|killed|moreover My rebellion was against the fact that she was killed by her own mother and moreover,

pişmanlık nedeniyle cezasının indirilmesineydi. remorse|due to|his punishment|was to be reduced her sentence was reduced due to remorse.

Bir yorum yaptım. I|comment|made I made a comment.

Neyse haberler bitti, telefon çaldı santralden arıyorlar. |||||von der Zentrale| Anyway|news|are over|phone|rang|from the switchboard|they are calling Anyway, the news is over, the phone rang, they are calling from the switchboard.

Mehmet'in babası arıyor dediler, o anda kafam karıştı. Mehmet's|father|is calling|they said|that|moment|my mind|got confused They said Mehmet's father is calling, at that moment my mind got confused.

“Kim? Mehmet? Tabii bağlayın” dedim. Who|Mehmet|Of course|connect them|I said "Who? Mehmet? Of course, connect me," I said.

“Merhabalar ben Mehmet'in babasıyım. Hello|I|Mehmet's|am his father "Hello, I am Mehmet's father."

Ben küçücük yaşında çok almaya uğraştım oğlumu. I|very little|at age|very|to take|tried|my son I tried very hard to get my son when I was very young.

Oğluma kavuşmaya çalıştım ama mahkeme izin vermedi” dedi. to my son|to reunite|I tried|but|the court|permission|did not give|he said I tried to reunite with my son, but the court did not allow it,” she said.

“Ben bu hayatta tutamadım Mehmet'i ama siz I|this|in life|couldn't hold|Mehmet|but|you “I couldn't hold on to Mehmet in this life, but you

sözlerinizle bir nebze olsun benim içimi ferahlattınız. İyi ki varsınız!” dedi. ||ein wenig|||||||| with your words|a|little|at least|my|inner self|you relieved||that|you exist|said have somewhat eased my heart with your words. I'm glad you exist!” she said.

O günden beri her bayramda, her kandilde arar beni Mehmet'in babası. That|day|since|every|holiday|every|Kandil|calls|me|Mehmet's|father Since that day, every holiday and every candlelit night, Mehmet's father calls me.

Mehmet'in babasını hiç tanımıyorum ama Mehmet's|father|ever|I don't know|but I don't know Mehmet's father at all, but

işte bir yerde bir hayata -Mehmet'in babasına- ve here|a|somewhere|a|life|Mehmet's|to father|and somehow I have touched a life - that of Mehmet's father - and

belki de bu dünyadan göçüp giden o küçücük Mehmet'in hayatına değip dokundum. maybe|also|this|from the world|having departed|gone|that|tiny|Mehmet's|life|touching|I touched perhaps the life of that little Mehmet who has passed away from this world.

Tıpkı o Mehmet gibi diğer Mehmetler de hep çok önemli oldu benim hayatımda. Just like|that|Mehmet|like|other|Mehmets|also|always|very|important|were|my|in life Just like that Mehmet, other Mehmets have always been very important in my life.

Benim ailemde asker ya da polis yok ama My|family|soldier|or|also|police|there is not|but There are no soldiers or police in my family, but

benim bu ülkenin askerine ve polisine olan sevgim malumunuz. ||||||||euch bekannt my|this|country's|to the soldier|and|to the police|my|love|is known to you my love for the soldiers and police of this country is well known.

Evet vatanseverim, Atatürkçüyüm ve Yes|I am a patriot|I am a follower of Atatürk|and Yes, I am a patriot, I am a supporter of Atatürk, and

en büyük şansımın da bu topraklarda doğup büyümek olduğunu düşünüyorum. the|biggest|my chance|also|these|in these lands|born|to grow up|being|I think I believe that my greatest fortune is to have been born and raised in this land.

Ama buna karşılık bu ülkenin askerinin ve polisinin But|to this|in return|this|country's|soldier's|and|police officer's But in contrast, I have always felt that the soldiers and police of this country

her zaman çok yalnız olduğunu hissettim. I|time|very|lonely|you were|I felt have been very lonely.

Yeteri kadar önemsenmediğini hissettim ve onların sesi olmaya karar verdim. sufficiently|as much|you were not taken seriously|I felt|and|their|voice|to be|decision|I gave I felt that they were not given enough importance, and I decided to be their voice.

Belki onlar için önemlidir dedim ve özel bir günde onların yanında olayım, Maybe|they|for|is important|I said|and|special|a|day|their|by|I be I said it might be important for them, and I want to be with them on a special day,

Yılbaşı gecesini onlarla birlikte geçireyim dedim. New Year's|night|with them|together|I should spend|I said I said I want to spend New Year's Eve with them.

Nereye gideyim, nereye gideyim, baktım en uzak yer neresi: Where|should I go|||I looked|the most|far|place|where Where should I go, where should I go, I looked for the farthest place:

Sınırda Dağlıca var. |Dağlıca| At the border|Dağlıca|there is There is Daglica at the border.

Hani birçoğunuz belki bilmez bile, 2015 yılında 16 şehit verdiğimiz yer. You know|many of you|maybe|know|even|in the year|martyrs|we lost|place You may not even know, but this is the place where we lost 16 martyrs in 2015.

Belki haritada bile yerini zor bulursunuz ya da Maybe|on the map|even|its location|hard|you will find|or|also You might even have a hard time finding its location on the map, or

çok çok haberlerde duymuş olabilirsiniz. very|very|in the news|you have heard|you might have you may have only heard about it in the news.

İki helikopter ve bir uçak… Atladım gittim yanlarına. |helicopters|and|one|airplane|I jumped|I went|to them Two helicopters and one plane... I jumped in and went to them.

Onlarla birlikte geçireyim diye... with them|together|I spend|in order to So that I can spend time with them...

Yılbaşı gecesi gidemedim, güvenlik gerekçeleri New Year's|night|I couldn't go|security|reasons I couldn't go on New Year's Eve, for security reasons

ve hava koşulları nedeni ile and|weather|conditions|reason|due to and due to weather conditions.

iki hafta sonrasına gün verdiler ve tam 24 saat çekim iznim var, gittim. two|week|from now|date|they gave|and|exactly|hours|shooting|permission|is|I went They scheduled it for two weeks later and I have exactly 24 hours of shooting permission, I went.

Tank atışları, top atışları hepsini çektik. Panzer|Schüsse|Kanonen||| Tank|shots|cannon|shots|all of them|we filmed We recorded all the tank fire and artillery fire.

2753 rakımlı Beybuta tepesine çıktık. 2753 Höhen||| elevation|Beybuta|to the hill|we climbed We climbed to Beybuta Hill at an altitude of 2753.

[HELİKOPTER SESİ] [HELICOPTER NOISE]

Kuş uçmaz, kervan geçmez bir yer. ||Karawane||| The bird|doesn't fly|caravan|passes|a|place A place where no birds fly, no caravans pass.

Hani burada görev yapabilmek için You know|here|duty|to be able to work|in order to You need to have a purpose in life to be able to serve here.

gerçekten hayatta bir amacınız olması lazım. really|in life|one|purpose|to be|necessary You really need to have a purpose in life.

Bir vatan sevdası olması lazım, bir bayrak sevgisi olması lazım. A|homeland|love|must be|necessary|a|flag|love|must be|necessary You need to have a love for your homeland, a love for the flag.

Kocaman bir yüreğinizin olması lazım. ||Herz|| huge|a|your heart|should be|necessary You need to have a big heart.

Çünkü bunun karşılığını parayla ödeyemezsiniz. Because|this|equivalent|with money|you cannot pay Because you cannot pay for this with money.

Burada insanlar canını ortaya koyuyorlar. Here|people|their lives|on the line|put Here, people are putting their lives on the line.

Gittim, işte mağara gibi bir yerde yatıp kalkıyorlar. ||Höhle||||| I went|just|cave|like|one|place|sleeping|they wake up I went, and they are sleeping and waking up in a place like a cave.

Zaten hava koşulları o kadar kötü ki, -20 derece buz gibi soğuk already|weather|conditions|that|much|bad|that|degrees|ice|like|cold The weather conditions are already so bad that it's -20 degrees, freezing cold.

ve insan konuşmaya bile zorlanıyor. and|person|to speak|even|struggles and people are even struggling to talk.

2 metre kar… meters|snow 2 meters of snow…

Arada bir helikopter geliyor, tepeden kumanyayı atıyor, |||||Verpflegung| Occasionally|one|helicopter|comes|from above|supplies|drops Occasionally a helicopter comes, drops supplies from above,

askerler yiyebildiği kadar yiyor. soldiers|they can eat|as much as|eat and the soldiers eat as much as they can.

Böyle bir yerde yatıp kalkıyorlar. Sizin için, bizim için, hepimiz için… such|a|in place|sleeping|they wake up|Your|for|our|for|all of us|for They are lying down and getting up in such a place. For you, for us, for all of us...

Vatan için! Homeland|for For the homeland!

Sonrasında çekimler bitti, Dağlıca'ya çıktık. Afterwards|shootings|ended|to Dağlıca|we went out After that, the shooting ended, we went to Dağlıca.

1500 askerle birlikte bir gece geçiriyorum. with soldiers|together|one|night|I spend I spend a night with 1500 soldiers.

Çekimler bitti, oturduk sohbet ettik derken yatacağız. The shootings|finished|we sat|chat|we talked|just then|we will sleep The shooting is over, we sat down and chatted, and now we are going to sleep.

Hoş, uyumak ne mümkün. Nice|to sleep|how|possible Well, sleeping is impossible.

Odaya geldim. to the room|I came I came to the room.

Tık tık kapı çaldı, 20 yaşlarında gencecik bir astsubay: knock|knock|door|knocked|around|very young|a|sergeant Knock knock, the door was knocked by a very young sergeant in his 20s:

“Nazlı Abla, bizimle beraber biraz oturur musun? Nazlı|Sister|with us|together|a little|sit|will you "Nazlı Sister, will you sit with us for a while?

Biz seni çok bekledik buraya geleceksin diye.” We|you|very|waited|here|you would come|because We waited for you a long time thinking you would come here."

Oturmaz mıyım, tabii ki dedim. I won't sit|will I|of course|particle|I said Would I not sit, of course I said.

Gittim yanlarına, onlar anlattı. I went|to them|they|told I went to them, they told the story.

Kiminin terhisine şu kadar az kalmış, kimi gün sayıyor. |seinem Ende||||||| For some|to discharge|this|much|little|time left|others|days|are counting Some have so little time left until their discharge, while others are counting the days.

Onlar anlatırken benim de televizyona takıldı gözüm. They|were telling|my|also|to the television|got caught|my eye While they were talking, my eyes also caught the television.

Çünkü bir müzik kanalı açık, müzik kanalının altında Because|a|music|channel|is open|music|channel's|under Because a music channel is on, under the music channel

hani âşıkların birbirine notları, mesajları geçer ya… you know|lovers'|to each other|notes|messages|are exchanged|right you know how lovers pass notes and messages to each other...

İşte her birinin bekleyeni var, sevdalıları var. |each|one of them|waiting for them|exists|lovers|exists Each of them has someone waiting, they have their lovers.

O da yine sizin gibi, benim gibi. He|also|again|your|like|my|like They are just like you, like me.

Çekimler bitti ve oradan ayrıldım. Bu arada buraya giderken… The shootings|finished|and|from there|I left|This|in the meantime|here|while driving The shoots ended and I left from there. Meanwhile, on my way here…

Annem biraz pimpirikli, asla anneme nereye gittiğimi söylemiyorum. My mother|a little|anxious|never|to my mother|where|I am going|I tell My mom is a bit fussy, I never tell her where I'm going.

“Ankara'ya gidiyorum. Olağanüstü kurultay var, kurultayda çekimler yapacağım” dedim. to Ankara|I am going|extraordinary|congress|there is|at the congress|shootings|I will do|I said "I am going to Ankara. There is an extraordinary congress, I will be filming at the congress," I said.

Günlerden Pazar, artık 24 saati devirdik. From the days of the week|Sunday|now|hours|we have passed It's Sunday, we have now passed the 24-hour mark.

Van Filo'ya indik, son şeyler, birkaç saat sonra uçak kalkacak. Van||||||||| Van|to Filo|we landed|last|things|a few|hours|later|plane|will take off We landed at Van Fleet, the last things, the plane will take off in a few hours.

Oturduk, bekliyoruz. We sat|we are waiting We sat down, waiting.

Bu esnada annem görüntülü telefondan beni arıyor: This|while|my mother|video|from the phone|me|calls Meanwhile, my mom is calling me on video phone:

“Efendim” dedim. Sir|I said I said, "Hello."

“Ah küpelerimi yeni aldım, güzel mi?” dedi. Ah|my earrings|new|I bought|beautiful|question particle|she said "Oh, I just got my earrings, do they look nice?" she said.

Kaş göz yapıyorum şimdi, anlamadı ama eyebrow|eye|I am making|now|he/she didn't understand|but I'm making faces now, but she didn't understand.

sesli görüntülü olunca herkes bizi dinliyor. voice|video|when|everyone|us|listens When it's a voice and video call, everyone is listening to us.

“Ben sana bir yalan söyledim. Ankara'da değilim.” dedim. I|to you|a|lie|told|in Ankara|am not|I said I said, "I told you a lie. I'm not in Ankara."

“Neredesin?” dedi. “Dağlıca'dayım.” dedim. Where are you|he said|I am in Dağlıca|I said "Where are you?" he asked. I said, "I'm in Dağlıca."

“Orası neresi?” dedi. That place|where|he said "Where is that?" he asked.

İşte dedim böyle böyle Van, Hakkâri, Yüksekova… İndim, bitti, geliyorum. |I said|like this|like this|Van|Hakkâri|Yüksekova||it ended|I am coming I said, 'This is how it is, Van, Hakkâri, Yüksekova... I got off, it's over, I'm coming.'

“Öldüreceğim seni buraya gelince, yeter artık seninle mi uğraşacağım” falan… I will kill|you|here|when you come|enough|already|with you|question particle|I will deal with| 'I will kill you when you get here, enough already, am I going to deal with you?' and so on...

Arkadan, “Ama inanmıyorum kesin orada değilsindir.” From behind|But|I don't believe|surely|there|you are not From behind, 'But I don't believe you, you are definitely not there.'

“Anne vallahi buradayım” dedim. “Yok, yok. Hiç inanmıyorum” Mom|I swear|I am here|I said|No|no|ever|I don't believe 'Mom, I swear I'm here,' I said. 'No, no. I don't believe it at all.'

Dedim şöyle bir göstereyim. I said|like this|a|I will show I said let me show you like this.

Yedi tane komutan oturmuş, annem bir anda ayağa kalktı önünü ilikledi. Seven|pieces|commanders|had sat|my mother|one|suddenly|to her feet|stood up|her front|buttoned Seven commanders were sitting, my mother suddenly stood up and buttoned her front.

“Saygılar efendim, hepinize saygılar, kızım size emanet.” Regards|sir|to all of you|regards|my daughter|to you|entrusted "Respect, gentlemen, respect to all of you, my daughter is entrusted to you."

(Gülüşmeler) Laughter (Laughter)

Diyor ki “Gel, görüşeceğiz.” He says|that|Come|we will meet He says, "Come, we will meet."

Sonrasında yine Yüksekova'ya gittim, Afterwards|again|to Yüksekova|I went After that, I went to Yüksekova again,

orada da yine bombalar patlıyor. there|too|again|bombs|explode bombs are exploding there again.

Sokağa çıkma yasağı var. Çatışmalar… The street|going out|ban|is|The clashes There is a curfew. Conflicts...

Bari dedim söyleyeyim de “Hayattayım” merak etmesin. at least|I said|I should tell|too|I'm alive|worry|he/she/it shouldn't At least I said I should let them know I'm "alive" so they won't worry.

Birazdan çünkü haberler başlayacak, Soon|because|news|will start Because the news will start soon,

görüntülerde anlayacak benim orada olduğumu. in the images|will understand|my|there|being they will understand that I am there from the footage.

Önden aradım, nasıl bağırıyor bana, Earlier|I called|how|he/she yells|at me I called ahead, how he is shouting at me,

“Hiç lafımı dinlemiyorsun. Bıktım, yetti artık” never|my words|you listen|I'm fed up|it's enough|already "You never listen to me. I'm fed up, that's enough."

vesaire böyle bağırıyor bana. and so on|like this|yells|at me and so on, she is yelling at me.

Baktım çok bağırıyor, ben de telefonunu kapadım. I looked|very|he/she/it yells|I|also|his/her phone|I turned off I saw she was yelling a lot, so I hung up the phone.

Bir hafta boyunca küstü konuşmadı benimle. A|week|for|sulked|didn't talk|with me She ignored me and didn't talk to me for a week.

“Küstüm seninle” dedi, başka çare olmayınca. I sulked|with you|he said|another|solution|when there was none "I was upset with you," he said, when there was no other choice.

Biz kanıksamayalım derken şehit haberlerini, |nicht gewöhnen||| We|should not get used to|while|martyr|news While we try not to get used to the news of martyrs,

alışmayalım derken en büyük tehlike aslında onlarda. we shouldn't get used to|while|the|biggest|danger|actually|in them the biggest danger is actually in them.

Nusaybin'e gitmiştik ve Nusaybin'de sokağa çıkma yasağı var, çatışmalar sürüyor. to Nusaybin|we had gone|and|in Nusaybin|to the street|going out|ban|is|clashes|continue We had gone to Nusaybin and there is a curfew in Nusaybin, clashes are ongoing.

İşte biz çekimleri yapacağız, onlar operasyona çıkacaklar. |we|the shootings|will do|they|to the operation|will go out Here we will do the shoots, they will go on the operation.

Hep beraber bir masada oturduk, yine konuşuyoruz: Always|together|one|at the table|we sat|again|we are talking We all sat at a table, we are talking again:

Nasıl yapmalıyız, bölgede ne kadar gün kaldı, How|should we do|in the region|how much|||remained How should we do it, how many days are left in the area,

ne kadarı temizlendi terör örgütünden bunları anlatıyorlar. what|portion|was cleaned|terror|from the organization|these|they explain they are explaining how much has been cleared from the terrorist organization.

Çayımızı içtik. Our tea|we drank We drank our tea.

Biz çekime gittik, onlar operasyona gitti. We|to the shoot|went|they|to the operation|went We went to the shoot, they went to the operation.

Aradan birkaç saat geçti, tekrar geldik oturduk. After a|few|hours|passed|again|we came|we sat A few hours passed, we came back and sat down again.

Ali'ye baktım, Ali yok yanımda. to Ali|I looked|Ali|is not|next to me I looked at Ali, Ali is not next to me.

“Ali nerede?” dedim. Ali|where|I said "Where is Ali?" I asked.

“Ali şehit düştü.” dediler. Ali|martyr|fell|they said "Ali has fallen as a martyr," they said.

EYP (El yapımı patlayıcı) yüklü binada, iki saat önce. IED||||loaded|in the building|two|hour|ago In a building loaded with IED (Improvised Explosive Device), two hours ago.

“Nasıl?” dedim. Ali şehit düştü. How|I said|Ali|martyr|fell "How?" I asked. Ali has fallen as a martyr.

Hani 60 saniyeyle giriyor belki hayatlarımıza, When|with seconds|enters|maybe|into our lives Maybe it enters our lives in 60 seconds,

şehit haberleriyle giriyor. martyr|with the news|enters it enters with news of martyrs.

Ağlayan bir anne, eş, yetim kalan, cami avlusunda oynayan o çocuklar… ||||waisen|||||| Crying|a|mother|wife|orphan|left|mosque|in the courtyard|playing|those|children A crying mother, a spouse, the orphans, those children playing in the mosque courtyard…

Sonrasında bitti diyoruz bizim için, Afterwards|it's over|we say|our|for After that, we say it's over for us,

ama onlar için hayat hep yarım kalıyor. but|for them|in|life|always|half|remains but for them, life is always left incomplete.

Çünkü ateş düştüğü yeri yakıyor. Because|fire|fell|place|burns Because the fire burns where it falls.

Onların hayatları artık hep yarım kalıyor. Their|lives|now|always|half|remain Their lives are now always left incomplete.

Yine bir gün Dağlıca'dan dönüyoruz. Again|one|day|from Dağlıca|we are returning Once again, we are returning from Dağlıca.

Askeri helikoptere bindik, arada bir, çok nadiren kalkıyor zaten helikopterler. Military|helicopter|we boarded|occasionally|one|very|rarely|takes off|already|helicopters We boarded the military helicopter, which rarely takes off anyway.

Bir grup var asker, onlar da izine çıkacaklar artık, çarşı izninlerine, A|group|there is|soldier|they|also|leave|will go out|now|the bazaar| There is a group of soldiers, they will also go on leave now, for their town leave.

yüklenmişler balık istifi gibi hep birlikte dolmuşuz helikopterin içerisine. ||stack|||||| they have loaded|fish|stacked|like|always|together|we have filled|helicopter's|inside We are all packed together in the helicopter like sardines.

Giderken yanımda o kobra helikopterlerinin pilotlarından ikisi oturuyor. While going|next to me|those|cobra|helicopters'|pilots|two of them|are sitting On the way, two of the pilots of those Cobra helicopters are sitting next to me.

Dedi ki resmimizi çeker misiniz ama siz bir selfie (özçekim) yapın bizimle… |||||||||Selbstporträt|| He said|that|our picture|takes|would you|but|you|a|selfie|(self-portrait)|take|with us He said, can you take our picture but you take a selfie with us...

Tabii ki dedim, birlikte böyle resim çektik. Of course|yes|I said|together|like this|picture|we took Of course, I said, we took a picture together like this.

Aradan 22 gün geçti, Burak… After|days|passed|Burak 22 days passed, Burak...

Şehit haberi geldi. martyr|news|arrived The news of the martyr came.

Acıları hep biriktirdik ve hep bir bedel ödüyor insan. ||||||Preis|| The pains|always|we accumulated|and|always|one|price|pays|human We have always accumulated pain and people always pay a price.

Ben de başta IŞİD, PKK olmak üzere onlarca davadan yargılandım. |||||||||gerichtet I|also|primarily||PKK|to be|including|dozens of|cases|I was tried I have been tried in dozens of cases, including ISIS and PKK.

Hâlâ yargılanıyorum. |ich werde angeklagt I am still|being tried I am still being tried.

Ölüm tehditleri, mecliste soruşturmalar, hakaretler, tehditler… ||im Parlament||| Death|threats|in the parliament|investigations|insults|threats Death threats, investigations in parliament, insults, threats...

Mesela emniyet bir canlı bomba listesi dağıtmıştı, For example|the police|a|suicide|bomber|list|had distributed For example, the security had distributed a list of suicide bombers,

birkaç kişinin canlı bomba olması nedeniyle. several|person's|suicide|bomber|being|due to due to a few individuals being suicide bombers.

Bunu haberleştirir misiniz dediler, biz de haberleştirdik. This|report|would you|they said|we|also|reported They asked if we could report this, and we did.

İki gün sonra aşağıdan aradılar beni, güvenlikten. |days|later|from downstairs|they called|me|from security Two days later, they called me from security.

“Tebligat geldi” dediler. Dedim herhâlde yine dava açıldı. Zustellung||||||| Notification||they said|I said|probably|again|lawsuit|was filed They said, "The notification has arrived." I thought, surely a lawsuit has been filed again.

Gittim baktım, o haberini yaptığımız kızlardan biri I went|I looked|she|news|we made|from the girls|one I went to check, one of the girls we reported on

“Sen nasıl bana canlı bomba dersin You|how|to me|suicide|bomber|do you call said, "How can you call me a suicide bomber?

ben üniversite öğrencisiyim, yok öyle bir şey” dedi. I|university|am a student|no|such|a|thing|he said I am a university student, there is no such thing."

Ben tabii adliyeyelere gittim. ||Gerichte| I|of course|to the courthouses|went Of course, I went to the courthouses.