Avengers vs Star Wars (1)
Announcer: From the brains behind brains on its Smash Boom Best.
Seth: The show is for people with big opinions.
(music)
Molly Bloom: Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today is a very special day. We're doing something we've never done before. We're pitting two of the biggest movie franchises ever against each other in an all-out blockbuster worthy battle. It's Avengers versus Star Wars. Which will win: the marvelously superhuman Avengers saga or that space story from long ago in a galaxy far, far away — Star Wars? Luckily, we have a judge here to help us decide. Hi, Seth.
Seth: Hey, how's it going?
Molly: It's going well, thank you so much for being here today. Before this epic battle begins, I just want to learn a little bit about you, our wonderful judge. Do you like to watch movies?
Seth: I really like to watch movies. Cranking it down on the couch or on the theater with popcorn or nachos on an hour and 45 or two hours, it's pretty good, especially with these two franchises. They're really nice.
Molly: Are you an Avengers fan already?
Seth: I don't want to give bias, but I kinda like both. Both franchises were my childhood. I don't have a bias here.
Molly: You love them both very much?
Seth: Yeah.
Molly: How old were you when you first saw any of the Avengers movies?
Seth: I was about seven or eight. When I watched that movie, I can't process it but then as the months went on, like, "Yo, that movie was sick," and I started watching more and more and more. It's like, "Yo. This is amazing."
Molly: What about Star Wars? When did you first remember watching Star Wars for the first time?
Seth: There's this show, not the movie, but the show. It was called Star Wars, The Clone Wars. I love the idea of these soldiers and these cool looking helmets, these cool soldiers with the cool artwork and everything. After that, I just fell in love with the Star Wars world, like the Jedi, the lightsabers, and all the cool flashing lights and everything.
Molly: Because this is a debate show, we just want to know, do you debate yourself?
Seth: I do. I was inspired to debate because I was seven and one of my English teachers was like, "Hey, Seth, you like to talk, you should be in the debate team." I'm like, "Yo, that's cool." Then once I heard there was a debate team at my high school, I was like, "I'm going to take this chance," and I have loved the art ever since.
Molly: Do you have any advice for our debaters today?
Seth: Bring out passion and attack the arguments because I love the passion in debate. It's one of the things that lets me enjoy the art. Please, passion, passion, passion.
Molly: Very good advice. Well, now, it's time to introduce our debaters. We have Merk Nguyen and Nyge Turner. Hi guys.
Merk Nguyen: Hello.
Nyge Turner: Hey.
Molly: Merk an Nyge, are cohosts of the podcast, Adult ISH, a culture advice and storytelling podcast from Radiotopia and YR Media. Merk, a diehard Avengers fan hails from Seattle, Washington.
Merk: That's what's up. Gonna use my Pacific Northwest powers to bring some marvelly goodness.
Molly: In one sentence, Merk, why are the Avengers movies the Smash Boom Best?
Merk: Oh my gosh. So many reasons, but they are ultra-relatable, they are super, they're interdimensional and just good for the soul.
Molly: Nyge, dialing in from Oakland, California, is a Star Wars super fan. Nyge, tell us why is Star Wars the coolest fictional universe of all?
Nyge: Oh, man. I don't even know where to begin, but it's the groundwork behind almost every character that we know to this day.
Molly: I am excited to hear more. Merk and Nyge, we know you guys are friends in real life, but this is Smash Boom Best and things can get fierce. Anything you want to say to each other before we dive into this debate?
Merk: Dude, I took out my earrings for this. I'm wearing my Spidey shirt. Get ready to go down. This is going to be the death star of you.
(laughter)
Seth: That's good.
Nyge: I think that was really nice. I feel like my argument is strong enough to where I don't even have to do with the theatrics. I'll let you have that one.
Merk: My theatrics are just a bonus on top of my arguments. You just wait, my friend.
Nyge: Looks like a sign of weakness to me, but it's all good.
Seth: I see some early challenges. I'm loving this already.
Molly: This fictional face off just got very real. Remember, it's not all about the force of your delivery.
(laughter)
Molly: You've got to have ironclad facts, research, and finesse too. Now, this debate is going to be a little different than our regular ones. Each round Merk and Nyge are going to have to defend specific characters from Avengers and Star Wars. In our first round, the Declaration of Greatness, Merk and Nyge will defend their side's most terrifying villains, Thanos and Darth Vader. The goal is to convince our judge their movies have the better bad guy. For the Micro-Round, Merk and Nyge will leave behind the dark side and represent Captain America and Yoda in a creative challenge where they have to give good grounded advice.
In round three, a Sneak Attack, Merk and Nyge will assemble arguments for a surprise challenge, and to wrap it all up, Merk and Nyge will have six final words to persuade the judge that their side is the Smash Boom Best. Seth will award a total of five points. One point for his favorite Declaration of Greatness, one point for his preferred rebuttal, and the remaining three points for the side he likes best in the final three rounds. He'll keep his scoring a secret until the very end.
Listeners, we want you to judge too. If you'd like to keep score on an official scorecard, you can download one on our website at smashboom.org and if you have any comments to share with us about the debate for, the judge's decision head to smashboom.org and send us a message. All right, team Avengers and team Star Wars, are you ready to rock this Smash Boom battle?
Nyge: Yes.
Merk: Born ready.
Molly: How about you, Seth, are you feeling prepared for this epic journey?
Seth: I'm feeling the storm that's about to come in. Let's get it on.
(laughter)
Molly: Excellent. Let's kick this thing off with our first round.
Female Announcer: The Declaration of Greatness.
Molly: All right, Merk, we flipped a coin and you're up first. Let's hear your Declaration of Greatness for the eternally terrifying Titan, Thanos.
Merk: Imagine you and your family are at home, about to have a really awesome dinner together.
Parent: Hey honey, food's almost ready. Will you help set the table?
Kid: Okay!
Merk: You go get some plates, which only takes a few seconds but when you turn around, your parent … is gone.
Kid: … Hello?
Merk: You're now all by yourself. Because Thanos, the most evil villain in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (and of all time) just used the Infinity Gauntlet. If you don't know -- the Infinity Gauntlet is a big metal glove -- it's gold and covered with 6 magical jewels called Infinity Stones. Whoever wears this glove can control the very fabric of reality. They just think of something -- then snap their fingers -- and boom -- it happens! So what does Thanos use the Infinity Gauntlet for? He instantly erases half of all living things in the entire universe. Not just your parents -- but also, your neighbor's dog, famous musicians, world leaders... and even alien civilizations on planets you didn't even know existed. All that, gone with a mere snap of his fingers.
What heartless, super awful, big meanie villain would do such a terrible thing? Thanos. He's the bad guy secretly controlling things in most Marvel movies -- and he's the main antagonist in the final two Avengers films. If you've never seen him before, you can't miss him. He's purple, 8 feet tall and weighs at least 1,000 pounds. Technically he's a Titan -- a Herculean human-like alien species with impressive combat abilities who usually lives thousands of years. He's got huge muscles and a six-pack for days! Not only is he built like the intergalactic football player of your dreams, he's got all the qualities you need for an epic bad guy.
The first thing that makes him a ruthless villain: his superhuman stamina, speed and strength. He was able to defeat the Hulk -- who is just as tall AND buff as him -- in one on one combat. Thanos also broke Captain America's iconic shield, which is made from vibranium -- the strongest metal in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Second, Thanos is an extremely smart master manipulator. His life's goal was to collect all the Infinity Stones -- Those are the special gem-like objects that power the Infinity Gauntlet glove. But they were hidden across the universe. So he manipulated others to help him get them. Like in the first Avengers movie, he was able to trick Loki, the God of Mischief himself, into carrying out a secret plan! Which helped Thanos collect those stones and gain control over special things like space, time, and even reality…
My third point: he is ruthless. Not only did he raise and train a group of children to be his assassins, he sacrificed one of his daughters -- Gamora -- to get one of the magical stones for his Infinity Gauntlet. All that -- so he could snap his fingers and erase half of existence.
Random Person: Oh snap...
Merk: I know, right?! Ruthless. Now you might be wondering why Thanos is so obsessed with erasing half of existence. Let's ask him. Hey Thanos, why would you do such a terrible thing?
Thanos: To make the world perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
Merk: But you do realize by doing this you've torn apart friends, families and hurt lots of innocent beings everywhere?
Thanos: It's a small sacrifice to pay for salvation. Look, I'm 1,000 years old. I know doing this will cost me everything. But I've lived to see people on my own planet die because they were running out of the food and water and other things they needed to live. I tried to tell them but they didn't listen. They thought I was mad. The same thing is happening all over the universe -- it's too crowded. Someone has to fix it -- and that someone is me.
Merk: Now, dear listener -- you might be starting to get a soft spot for this guy ‘cause no one was listening to him, he was misunderstood, grew up an outcast… I mean, every villain has a tragic backstory. Does that make it okay to WIPE OUT HALF OF EXISTENCE? No way! But does it make him a compelling character? Yes way!
He's highly destructive and deeply flawed. And it's because he's around that the greatest superheroes in the MCU came together to form the Avengers, giving us the gift of the final Avengers movie -- Avengers: Endgame. The highest grossing box office movie of ALL time. Can Star Wars say the same? No. Is Vader the greatest villain ever? No! In the Star Wars movies, he has to report to the Emperor! Thanos is his own boss. And when his story ends, he has no regrets about what he's done -- whereas Vader's story wraps up by him changing sides to save his son's life.
My point is, an excellent villain makes the heroes look amazing. Thanos is that person! Er… villian. Er…alien. He makes us feel better about ourselves because we're not the monster he is. And you gotta give him, snaps for that.