Friends S03E11 1d
Okay, pick a card. Any card. All right, now memorize it. Show it to everybody. Got it? All right. Give it back to me. Five of hearts. Real magic does exist. - Joey, how do you do it? - I can't tell you that. Somebody's at the door on the ceiling. That's our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor. He took up the carpets, and now you can hear everything. Why don't you go ask him to just, "Step lightly, please?" I have, like, five times. But the guy is so charming... ...I go up there to yell, then I end up apologizing to him. That is silly! I'll go up there. I'll tell him to keep it down. - All right, be my guest. - Good luck. All right, all right... ...if you wanna know how I did it, I'll show you. When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was... ...I looked at it so fast, it was invisible to the naked eye. I just did it. Just did it again. Here, I'll slow it down so you guys can see it. Ready? - I got it now! - Okay. Thank you. The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister Hi. Anybody got a length of rope about six feet long... ...little noose at the end? - Honey, what's the matter? - I just saw Janice. She was at Rockefeller Center, skating with her husband. She looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them. I remember the first time I saw Katherine after we broke up. She was with her friend Donna. Just laughing and talking. God, it killed me! Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon. Sorry, I just... Any excuse to tell that story, you know? Chandler, there's a party tomorrow. You'll feel better then. I'm gonna be okay. You don't have to throw a party for me. It's Joey's birthday. Then if anybody should have a party, it should be him. I cannot believe she's still up there. Well, he totally screwed up the punch line. You know, it's supposed to be... - How's that coffee coming, dear? - Right away, Mr. Kaplan. I'm not suppose to drink coffee. It makes me gassy. I know. I'll bet you're thinking, "What's an intelligent girl... ...who wants to be in fashion doing making coffee?" You got me. Don't think I haven't noticed your potential. I've got a project for you that's a lot more related to fashion. - How does that sound? - That sounds great! - Come on over here, sweetheart. - Thank you so much. I need these hangers separated ASAP. You're welcome. - Oh, God, I hate my job! I hate it. - I know, honey. I'm sorry. I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out. Then I think: "Why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job... ...just because it's remotely related to the field they're interested in?" Gee, I don't know, Rach. Order up! Yentl soup, James Beans and a Howdy, hold the Doody. Come on, I'm sorry. I didn't... I don't mind paying my dues, you know? But how much will I learn about fashion... ...by walking Myra, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom? Hi. Is my misery amusing to you? I'm sorry, I was just... It's not funny. This is actually my job. No, believe me, I've been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus. Well, then. I'm just gonna go back to talking to my friend here. You can go back to enjoying your little hamburger. Actually, that's a Barbra Streisand-wich. What? I named that one. - Just one other thing. - Yes? I work at Bloomingdale's. I might know of a job possibility, if you're interested. Do you want my pickle? - Hey, guys. - Hey, Gunther. You're going on a date with the noisy guy upstairs? - Well, he's very charming. - I know. He's too charming! But if you go out, it'll be harder for me to hate him. Well, you're just going to have to try. Joey? Where are the Jell-O shots? I don't know. Chandler's passing them... Chandler! Hello-dee-lo! Well, somebody's feeling better. - Stick out your tongue! - Take off your shirt! - Oh, my...! - Oh, my God! How many did you have? These are pure vodka. Yeah, Jell-O. Just like Mom used to make. The most unbelievable thing happened today. I'm having lunch at Monica's and this guy starts talking to me. He works for a buyer at Bloomingdale's. There's an opening there! So I gave him my phone number. He's gonna call me this weekend to get me an interview! I know! What, so this guy's helping you for no apparent reason? - And he's a total stranger? - Yeah. His name is Mark something. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex! What? I'm just saying. Why else would he swoop in out of nowhere for no reason? To be nice. Hey, Joey, are men ever nice to strange women for no reason? - No, only for sex. - Thank you. So did you tell Mark Something about me? I didn't have to. I was wearing my "I Heart Ross" sandwich board and ringing my bell. Joey! Happy birthday! How many of that girl are you seeing? How hammered are you? These are Joey's sisters. Hi, Joey's sisters! What are we drinking over here? Well, I have a vodka and cranberry juice. No kidding? That's the same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you. What you doing? I'm taking my ex-girlfriend off my speed dialer. No, it's a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily, anyway? Why rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments? Those are some huge breasts you have!
