CHAPTER XXXVI. THE DISCOVERY OF LIFE

This is the letter which Swinnerton Loughburne received over the signature of Doctor Randall Byrne. Esta é a carta que Swinnerton Loughburne recebeu com a assinatura do Doutor Randall Byrne. It was such a strange letter that between paragraphs Swinnerton Loughburne paced up and down his Gramercy Park studio and stared, baffled, at the heights of the Metropolitan Tower. Era uma carta tão estranha que, entre os parágrafos, Swinnerton Loughburne andava de um lado para o outro em seu estúdio em Gramercy Park e olhava, perplexo, para as alturas da Metropolitan Tower.

"Dear Swinnerton, "I'll be with you in good old Manhattan about as soon as you get this letter. "Estarei com você na boa e velha Manhattan assim que você receber esta carta. I'm sending this ahead because I want you to do me a favour. If I have to go back to those bare, blank rooms of mine with the smell of chemicals drifting in from the laboratory, I'll—get drunk. Se eu tiver que voltar para aqueles meus quartos vazios e vazios com o cheiro de produtos químicos vindos do laboratório, eu vou... ficar bêbado. That's all!" Here Swinnerton Loughburne lowered the letter to his knees and grasped his head in both hands. Aqui Swinnerton Loughburne baixou a carta de joelhos e agarrou sua cabeça com as duas mãos. Next he turned to the end of the letter and made sure that the signature was "Randall Byrne." He stared again at the handwriting. Ele olhou novamente para a caligrafia. It was not the usual script of the young doctor. It was bolder, freer, and twice as large as usual; there was a total lack of regard for the amount of stationery consumed. Era mais ousado, mais livre e duas vezes maior do que de costume; houve uma total falta de consideração com a quantidade de papelaria consumida.

Shaking his head in bewilderment, Swinnerton Loughburne shook his fine grey head and read on: "What I want you to do, is to stir about and find me a new apartment. Balançando a cabeça em confusão, Swinnerton Loughburne balançou sua bela cabeça grisalha e continuou lendo: "O que eu quero que você faça é se mexer e me encontrar um novo apartamento. Mind you, I don't want the loft of some infernal Arcade building in the Sixties. Veja bem, eu não quero o loft de algum edifício infernal de Arcade nos anos sessenta. Get me a place somewhere between Thirtieth and Fifty-eighth. Arranja-me um lugar algures entre o trigésimo e o quinquagésimo oitavo. Two bed-rooms. Dois quartos. I want a place to put some of the boys when they drop around my way. Quero um lugar para colocar alguns dos meninos quando eles aparecerem no meu caminho. And at least one servant's room. E pelo menos um quarto de empregada. Also at least one large room where I can stir about and wave my arms without hitting the chandelier. Também pelo menos uma sala grande onde eu possa me mexer e acenar com os braços sem bater no candelabro. Are you with me?" Here Swinnerton Loughburne seized his head between both hands again and groaned: "Dementia! Aqui Swinnerton Loughburne agarrou sua cabeça entre as duas mãos novamente e gemeu: "Demência! Plain and simple dementia! And at his age, poor boy!" He continued: "Find an interior decorator. Ele continuou: "Encontre um decorador de interiores. Not one of these fuzzy haired women-in-pants, but a he-man who knows what a he-man needs. Não uma dessas mulheres de calça de cabelo felpudo, mas um homem que sabe o que um homem precisa. Не одна из этих пушистоволосых женщин в штанах, а мужчина, который знает, что нужно мужчине. Tell him I want that place furnished regardless of expense. Diga a ele que quero aquele lugar mobiliado independente da despesa. I want some deep chairs that will hit me under the knees. Quero algumas cadeiras fundas que me atinjam sob os joelhos. I want some pictures on the wall—but nothing out of the Eighteenth Century —no impressionistic landscapes—no girls dolled up in fluffy stuff. Quero alguns quadros na parede — mas nada do século XVIII — nada de paisagens impressionistas — nada de garotas enfeitadas com coisas fofas. I want some pictures I can enjoy, even if my maiden aunt can't. Quero algumas fotos que eu possa curtir, mesmo que minha tia solteira não possa. There you are. Aí está você. Tell him to go ahead on those lines. Diga-lhe para seguir em frente nessas linhas.

"In a word, Swinnerton, old top, I want to live. "Em uma palavra, Swinnerton, velho top, eu quero viver. For about thirty years I've thought , and now I know that there's nothing in it. Por cerca de trinta anos eu pensei, e agora eu sei que não há nada nisso. All the thinking in the world won't make one more blade of grass grow; put one extra pound on the ribs of a long-horn; and in a word, thinking is the bunk, pure and simple!" Todo o pensamento do mundo não fará crescer mais uma folha de grama; coloque um quilo extra nas costelas de um chifre longo; e em uma palavra, pensar é o beliche, puro e simples!" At this point Swinnerton Loughburne staggered to the window, threw it open, and leaned out into the cold night. A essa altura, Swinnerton Loughburne cambaleou até a janela, abriu-a e se inclinou para a noite fria. After a time he had strength enough to return to his chair and read through the rest of the epistle without interruption. Depois de um tempo, ele teve força suficiente para voltar à sua cadeira e ler o resto da epístola sem interrupção.

"You wonder how I've reached the new viewpoint? Simply by seeing some concentrated life here at the Cumberland ranch. My theories are blasted and knocked in the head—praise God!—and I've brushed a million cobwebs out of my brain. Minhas teorias são explodidas e batidas na cabeça — louvado seja Deus! — e eu tirei um milhão de teias de aranha do meu cérebro. Chemistry? Rot! Podridão! There's another sort of chemistry that works on the inside of a man. That's what I want to study. There are three great preliminary essentials to the study: Há três grandes fundamentos preliminares para o estudo:

1st: How to box with a man. 1º: Como boxear com um homem. 2nd: How to talk with a girl. 3rd: How to drink old wine.

Try the three, Swinnerton; they aren't half bad. Experimente os três, Swinnerton; eles não são meio ruins. At first they may give you a sore jaw, an aching heart, and a spinning head, but in the end they teach you how to keep your feet and fight!

"This is how my eyes were opened. "When I came out to this ranch it was hard for me to ride a horse. "Quando cheguei a este rancho, era difícil para mim andar a cavalo. So I've been studying how it should be done. Então eu tenho estudado como isso deve ser feito. Among other things, you should keep your toes turned in, you know. Entre outras coisas, você deve manter os dedos dos pés virados, você sabe. And there are many other things to learn.

"When I had mastered them one by one I went out the other day and asked to have a horse saddled. "Quando os dominei um por um, saí outro dia e pedi para selar um cavalo. It was done, and a lantern-jawed cowpuncher brought out a piebald gelding with long ears and sleepy eyes. Foi feito, e um vaqueiro de mandíbula de lanterna trouxe um castrado malhado com orelhas compridas e olhos sonolentos. Not a lovely beast, but a mild one. Não é um animal adorável, mas um animal suave. So I went into the saddle according to theory—with some slight hesitations here and there, planted my feet in the stirrups, and told the lantern-jawed fellow to turn loose the head of the piebald. Então subi na sela de acordo com a teoria - com algumas hesitações aqui e ali, plantei meus pés nos estribos e disse ao sujeito de mandíbula de lanterna para soltar a cabeça do malhado. This was done. I shook the reins. Sacudi as rédeas. The horse did not move. I called to the brute by name. One ear wagged back to listen to me.

"I kicked the beast in the ribs. "Eu chutei a fera nas costelas. Unfortunately I had forgotten that long spurs were on my heels. The horse was instantly aware of that fact, however. He leaped into a full gallop. A very jolty process. Um processo muito agitado. Then he stopped—but I kept on going. Então ele parou — mas eu continuei. A fence was in the way, so I was halted. Uma cerca estava no caminho, então fui parado. Afterwards the lantern-jawed man picked me up and offered to carry me back to the house or at least get a wheelbarrow for me. Depois o homem de queixo de lanterna me pegou e se ofereceu para me levar de volta para casa ou pelo menos pegar um carrinho de mão para mim. I refused with some dignity. I remarked that I preferred walking, really, and so I started out across the hills and away from the house. Comentei que preferia caminhar, na verdade, e então comecei a atravessar as colinas e me afastar da casa. My head was sore; so were my shoulders where I hit the fence; I began to think of the joy of facing that horse again, armed with a club. Minha cabeça estava dolorida; assim como meus ombros onde bati na cerca; Comecei a pensar na alegria de enfrentar aquele cavalo novamente, armado com um porrete.

"It was evening—after supper, you see—and the light of the moon was already brighter than the sunlight. "Era noite - depois do jantar, você vê - e a luz da lua já estava mais brilhante que a luz do sol. And by the time I had crossed the first range of hills, it was quite dark. E quando cruzei a primeira cadeia de colinas, estava bem escuro. As I walked I brooded upon many things. Enquanto caminhava, refletia sobre muitas coisas. There were enough to disturb me. Havia o suficiente para me perturbar.

"There was old Joe Cumberland, at death's door and beyond the reach of my knowledge; and he had been taken away from death by the wild man, Dan Barry. There was the girl with the bright hair—Kate Cumberland. In education, nothing; in brain, nothing; in experience, nothing; and yet I was attracted. But she was not attracted in the least until along came the wild man again, and then she fell into his arms—actually fought for him! Mas ela não se sentiu nem um pouco atraída até que o homem selvagem apareceu novamente, e então ela caiu em seus braços — na verdade lutou por ele! Why? I could not tell. My name and the things I have done and even my money, meant nothing to her. But when he came it was only a glance, a word, a smile, and she was in his arms. I felt like Caligula. Eu me senti como Calígula. I wished the world had only one neck, and I an axe. Desejei que o mundo tivesse apenas um pescoço e eu um machado. But why should I have felt depressed because of failures in the eyes of these silly yokels? Mas por que eu deveria ter me sentido deprimido por causa dos fracassos aos olhos desses tolos caipiras? Not one of them could read the simplest chemical formula!

"All very absurd, you will agree, and you may get some inkling as to my state of mind while I walked over those same dark hills. "Tudo muito absurdo, você vai concordar, e você pode ter alguma noção do meu estado de espírito enquanto eu caminhava por aquelas mesmas colinas escuras. I seemed a part of that darkness. I looked up to the stars. They were merely like the pages of a book. I named them off hand, one after the other, and thought of their characteristics, their distances, their composition, and meditated on the marvels the spectrum has made known to us. Eu os nomeei de improviso, um após o outro, e pensei em suas características, suas distâncias, sua composição, e meditei sobre as maravilhas que o espectro nos deu a conhecer. But no sooner did such a train of thoughts start in my brain, than I again recurred to the girl, Kate Cumberland, and all I was aware of was a pain at heart—something like homesickness. Mas assim que essa linha de pensamentos começou em meu cérebro, voltei a recorrer à garota, Kate Cumberland, e tudo o que percebi foi uma dor no coração – algo como saudade de casa. Very strange.

"She and the man are together constantly. The other day I was in Joseph Cumberland's room and we heard whistling outside. The face of the old man lighted, 'They are together again,' he said. 'How do you guess at that?' — Como você adivinha isso? I asked.

'By the sound of his whistling,' he answered. 'For he whistles as if he expected an answer—as if he were talking with someone.' — Pois ele assobia como se esperasse uma resposta, como se estivesse falando com alguém. And by the Lord, the old man was right. It would never have occurred to me!

"Now as I started down the farther slope of a hill a whistling sound ran upon me through the wind, and looking back I saw a horseman galloping with great swiftness along the line of the crest, very plainly outlined by the sky, and by something of smoothness in the running of the horse I knew that it was Barry and his black stallion. "Agora, quando comecei a descer a encosta mais distante de uma colina, um som de assobio correu sobre mim através do vento e, olhando para trás, vi um cavaleiro galopando com grande rapidez ao longo da linha da crista, muito claramente delineada pelo céu e por algo de suavidade na corrida do cavalo eu sabia que era Barry e seu garanhão preto. But the whistling—the music! Dear God, man, have you read of the pipes of Pan? Querido Deus, homem, você já leu sobre as flautas de Pan? That night I heard them and it made a riot in my heart.

"He was gone, suddenly, and the whistling went out like a light, but something had happened inside me—the first beginning of this process of internal change. "Ele se foi, de repente, e o assobio se apagou como uma luz, mas algo aconteceu dentro de mim - o primeiro começo desse processo de mudança interna. The ground no longer seemed so dark. There were earth smells—very friendly—I heard some little creature chirruping contentedly to itself. Havia cheiros de terra — muito amigáveis — ouvi uma criaturinha chilrear satisfeita consigo mesma. Something hummed—a grasshopper, perhaps. Algo zumbiu — um gafanhoto, talvez. And then I looked up to the stars. There was not a name I could think of—I forgot them all, and for the first time I was contented to look at them and wonder at their beauty without an attempt at analysis or labelling. Não havia um nome em que pudesse pensar — esqueci-me de todos e, pela primeira vez, contentei-me em olhar para eles e admirar sua beleza sem tentar analisá-los ou rotulá-los.

"If I say that I went back to the ranch-house with my feet on the ground and by heart up there among the stars, will you understand? "Se eu disser que voltei para a casa da fazenda com os pés no chão e de cor lá em cima entre as estrelas, você vai entender? "I found the girl sewing in front of the fire in the living room. "Encontrei a garota costurando em frente à lareira na sala. Simply looked up to me with a smile, and a certain dimness about the eyes—well, my breath stopped. Simplesmente olhou para mim com um sorriso e uma certa obscuridade nos olhos – bem, minha respiração parou.

"'Kate,' said I, 'I am going away to-morrow morning!' "'And leave Dad?' said she.

"'To tell you the truth,' I answered, 'there is nothing I can do for him. There has never been anything I could do for him.' "'I am sorry,' said she, and lifted up her eyes to me. "Now, I had begun by being stiff with her, but the ringing of that whistling—pipes of Pan, you know—was in my ears. "Agora, eu tinha começado sendo duro com ela, mas o toque daquele assobio - flautas de Pan, você sabe - estava em meus ouvidos. I took a chair beside her. Something overflowed in my heart. Algo transbordou em meu coração. For the first time in whole days I could look on her beauty without pain.

"'Do you know why I'm going?' I asked.

"She waited. "'Because,' said I, and smiled right into her face, 'I love you, Kate, most infernally; and I know perfectly well that I will get never the devil a bit of good out of it.' "'Porque', eu disse, e sorri direto para o rosto dela, 'eu te amo, Kate, muito infernalmente; e eu sei perfeitamente bem que nunca vou tirar nada de bom disso.' "She peered at me. 'You aren't jesting?' — Você não está brincando? says she. 'No, you're serious. I'm very sorry, Doctor Byrne.' "'And I,' I answered, 'am glad. I wouldn't change it for the world. For once in my life—to-night—I've forgotten myself. Pela primeira vez na minha vida - esta noite - eu me esqueci. No, I won't go away and nurse a broken heart, but I'll think of you as a man should think of something bright and above him. Não, eu não vou cuidar de um coração partido, mas vou pensar em você como um homem deve pensar em algo brilhante e acima dele. You'll keep my heart warm, Kate, till I'm a very old man. Because of you, I'll be able to love some other girl—and a fine one, by the Lord!' "Something in the nature of an outburst, eh? "Algo na natureza de uma explosão, hein? But it was the music which had done it. All the time it rang and echoed through my ears. My words were only an echo of it. I was in tune with the universe. Eu estava em sintonia com o universo. I was living for the first time. The girl dropped her sewing—tossed it aside. A garota largou a costura — jogou-a de lado. She came over to me and took my hands in a way that would have warmed even the icicles of your heart, Swinnerton. Ela veio até mim e pegou minhas mãos de uma maneira que teria aquecido até os pingentes de gelo do seu coração, Swinnerton.

"'Doctor,' says she, 'I know that you are going to be very happy.' "'Happiness,' said I, 'is a trick, like riding a horse. "'Felicidade', disse eu, 'é um truque, como andar a cavalo. And I think that I've learned the trick. I've caught it from you and from Barry.' "At that, she let go my hands and stepped back. "Nisso, ela soltou minhas mãos e deu um passo para trás. The very devil is in these women, Swinnerton. O próprio diabo está nessas mulheres, Swinnerton. You never can place them for a minute at a time. Você nunca pode colocá-los por um minuto de cada vez.

"'I am trying to learn myself,' she said, and there was a shadow of wistfulness in her eyes. "'Estou tentando aprender sozinha', disse ela, e havia uma sombra de melancolia em seus olhos. "In another moment I should have made a complete fool of myself, but I remembered in time and got out of the room. "Em outro momento eu deveria ter feito papel de bobo, mas me lembrei a tempo e saí da sala. To-morrow I start back for the old world but I warn you beforehand, my dear fellow, that I'm bringing something of the new world with me. Amanhã começo de volta para o velho mundo, mas aviso de antemão, meu caro amigo, que estou trazendo algo do novo mundo comigo. "What has it all brought to me? "O que tudo isso trouxe para mim? I am sad one day and gay the next. Estou triste um dia e gay no outro. But at least I know that thinking is not life and now I'm ready to fight. "Randall Byrne."