The Insane Way I Cheated On A College Test ||||Deceived the exam|||| Die verrückte Art, wie ich bei einem College-Test gemogelt habe Cómo hice trampas en un examen de la universidad La façon insensée dont j'ai triché à un examen universitaire Il modo folle in cui ho imbrogliato in un test universitario 私が大学のテストでカンニングした非常識な方法 대학 시험에서 부정행위를 한 미친 방법 De krankzinnige manier waarop ik spiekte bij een universiteitstest Szalony sposób, w jaki oszukałem na teście na studiach A forma insana como copiei num teste da faculdade Безумный способ списывания на экзамене в колледже Üniversite Sınavında Çılgınca Kopya Çekme Yöntemim 我在大学考试中作弊的疯狂方式 我在大學考試中作弊的瘋狂方式

- My freshman year of college, I cheated on a final, |first year||||||||

and this is that story. ||||opowieść

Okay, before we start, cheating might be a strong word. ||||betrügen|||||

Actually, maybe it's not.

I'll leave that up to all of you. ||||||由|

Okay, here we go.

So I was home on a little break from school.

Nothing holiday related, just a weekend at my parents house.

It was Sunday and I was leaving that night ||the weekend||||||

to fly back to school. |return by plane|||

My point being school and home were not close to each other.

If I'm being honest, it's a little tough |||||||困难

to go to school in a place that's far from home.

Especially if you're someone like me

who gets homesick from time to time. ||misses home||||

Anyways, it was end of April, Spring semester |||||||学期

was winding down a.k.a finals season. |coming to an end|||||final exams|

The pressure was on.

I'm gonna be bold here, |||大胆| |||courageous|

I'd classify myself as in intelligent person. |consider myself|||||

Now when I say that, would I call myself a genius?

I don't think I would.

Would I call myself dumb? ||||笨的 ||||not smart

I don't think I would.

And I like school, I like learning

so I'm not really sure what came over me

on that faithful day. ||忠实的| ||fateful|

Before I knew it, I was heading back

to school on that Sunday night.

I had a final the very next morning, Monday morning. |||期末||||||

For whatever reason, before I even left my parents house,

I thought to myself, I'm not taking that test tomorrow.

I'm gonna email my teacher now,

tell him my flight got canceled |||||called off

and I could take it later that week.

My thought was, I could buy myself a couple extra days

and get ready for the test in my own time.

It was a slam dunk. |||扣篮|扣篮 ||||Sure thing! "Sure success"

I guarantee a surefire plan. |||万无一失| |||sicheren Plan| |I assure you.||certain to succeed|

Maybe I was a genius.

I sent the email, got on to my very not canceled flight,

and went back to school.

I'm feeling good, real slick. ||||smooth and confident

Until I get back to my dorm. ||||||宿舍 ||||||residence hall

There's a reply to my email.

"Hi Brigid." |No translation needed.

Perfectly acceptable greeting. ||问候语 Completely||Hello there!

"No problem, sorry to hear about your flight.

"Just bring me proof of your new flight, |||证明||||

"and we'll be all good."

(clock ticking)

How did this happen?

This was supposed to be an easy plan.

Okay, okay, okay, just calm down.

I have no choice but to own up to my mistakes

and face the situation that I've created.

Or...

Or, and hear me out, I look up

I don't know, a template for a plane ticket, ||||模板||||

create a fake boarding pass to present to my professor. |||登机||||||

I was in too deep.

I couldn't confess. ||承认 ||admit the truth

This became Operation Fake Ticket.

We arrange a new time for me to take the final, |Set up|||||||||

that's a few days away.

I needed to craft something that was believable. |||制作|||| |||create||||Plausible

Actually, more than believable, authentic. ||||真实的

He's a smart guy, he's a college professor. ||||||大学教授|

He could probably look up if a flight was real.

So I just needed to make it seem like I was on that flight.

I was starting to feel like I was a character on Lost.

Somehow, after days of studying, and terrifying nights In some way|||||||

of dreams of expulsion, I completed both tasks. |||驱逐|||| |||expulsion from school||carried out||

Not only was I ready for my final,

I was ready for the greatest trick I'd ever pull.

It was the day of the test.

I walk into his classroom,

my heart is pounding out of my chest.

There he is.

I'm trying to figure out what he's thinking.

So far, he seems oddly calm. ||||strangely|

I think I'm ready for this test,

and oh here's that airline information you asked for.

I hand over the goods, he looks them over briefly

and sets them down.

Internally I'm like, and that's how it's done baby, In my mind||||||||

we just pulled this off.

"Okay, cool!

"So while you take the test,"

"I'll just give the airline a call

"to make sure you were on the flight."

Excuse me?

I'm surprised I didn't just burst into flames |||||||catch fire

right then and there.

Yeah, no, of course, that sounds good.

I'm trying to play it cool.

He hands over the test, I take a seat

at the desk in his classroom, my life, it was over.

This is it.

This is how it ends.

He leaves the room, I take the test.

Oddly enough, he never returns. Strangely enough||||comes back

I leave my finished test on his desk,

leave the classroom and never looked back.

Do you have any idea how hard it is

to focus on a test when your teacher |专注||||||

is trying to catch you in a lie?

I could feel my brain melting. |||||融化 |||||turning to mush

I sprung back to my dorm, collect all my friends, |leapt||||||||

explain the new development in the saga. ||||||传奇 ||||||ongoing story

"I feel like you can't just call an airline

"and get that information."

Says one of smart friends.

Yeah, yeah that makes sense.

For whatever reason, I had my friend call

instead of me and ask the airline

if my name came up in a flight manifest. ||||||||passenger list

They wouldn't give the information out.

Delightful. 令人愉快

Nice try buddy.

I did it, there's no way he could call me out

on my fake plane ticket now.

And guess what?

A week or so later, I found out I got an A on that test.

This wasn't all for nothing.

Heads up, the craziest part of this story

hasn't even happened yet.

Freshman year ends, I end up transferring to another school, First-year student||||||switching schools|||

it was closer to home and just a little more my speed. |||||||||||comfort level

One day, I'm sitting on campus waiting for a class to start |||||校园|||||| |||||university grounds||||||

and suddenly, there's an odd shift in the air. ||||奇怪的|||| ||||unusual||||

You know when you can just feel

when something is about to happen?

"Brigid, right?"

I hear a voice ask.

I look up, my heart stops.

It's my fucking teacher. ||darn|

The guy that I duped. ||||被骗的 ||||tricked

He's staring at me.

Yes, it's me, Brigid.

How are you?

"Good to see you." He says.

Starts to walk away, I swear on my life, |||||promise|||

I'm not making this up.

"Nice job with that plane ticket."

What is this?

A goddamn movie? |A damn movie?|

People don't talk like that,

this doesn't happen in real life.

Apparently this happens in my life.

What was he even doing here?

Why was he at my new school?

I have expected him to do that thing in scary movies

where he crosses a street, a bus drives by and disappears. ||crosses the street||||||||

Obviously, I go home and look him up immediately.

Turns out, he's an adjunct professor at my new school. ||||part-time professor|||||

Oddly enough, we never crossed paths again after that. Strangely enough|||||routes|||

I think he just wanted to see

how far I would take my lie.

And he got his answer.

I took that lie all the way.

Did I learn my lesson?

Yep.

Would I do it again?

Nope. No.

Stay in school kids.

(upbeat jazz music)