Friends S03E05 2d
- Okay, I've got three of my five. - Three of your five what? Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with. God, you're giving this a lot of thought. Hey, it's hard, okay? I only have two spots left. All right. Who you got it narrowed down to? - Elizabeth Hurley. - Very attractive. Forgiving. Susan Sarandon. You know what? She's too political. She probably wouldn't let you do it unless you donated four cans of food first. - And Isabella Rossellini. - Very hot. Very sexy. But she's too international. She's never gonna be around. - So? - So you gotta play the odds. Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country all the time. Yeah. Because that's why you won't get Isabella Rossellini. Geography. Okay. So by "melting" you meant melting. - So is it, like, art? - Yeah, you can melt art. Hey, can I use your phone? - Sure. You want to call your mom? - No, I want to melt it. Just the numbers. It will still work. Well, not right now. I'm gonna go to bed. The fumes are giving me a headache. So... Good night, bro. Good night. Here. Just in case. Oh, excellent! - What kind of karate is that? - No kind. He just makes it up. - How's it going with you guys? - So far it kind of blows. I don't know, I just thought he'd feel more like a brother. Like you and Ross. Close and connected and... Honey, we're close now. You wouldn't believe the years... ...of noogies and wedgies and flying wedgies and atomic wedgies and... That's when the waistband goes over your head. We drove each other crazy playing the shadow game. - How do you play the shadow game? - How do you play the shadow game? - I just asked you. - I just asked you. I don't have time for this. That is what the game is. You just gave up really quickly. - You seen Joey? - What's the matter? Just this! It's my fault, really, because the couch is where we keep the varnish. Somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles? - What's going on? - He's retiling my floor. Spackle boy! Get up! - You started this, you will finish it! - He started mine first! Build the unit, Cinderellie Lay the tile, Cinderellie - He was helping me first. - No, I need a bathroom. I'm a girl! You guys figure it out. I'm taking a break. - That's good. - Take a break? Yeah. I think even God rested on the seventh day. Joey, if this takes seven days... ...you'll be able to meet God and ask him about it yourself. Big octopus. Oh, my God! I totally forgot. Well, can't someone else do it? But I have company. Look, that's all right. I'll come in. Okay. I'm sorry, but I have to go into work. It's one of my regulars. He's insisting that I do him, so... Hey, what kind of work do you do? I'm a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff. You work at one of those massage parlors? Well, you know, we don't call it that. But, yeah. That's wild. - No, I had no idea. - Alrighty. I'll be back in a little bit. Unless you want to come with me. You mean, like, watch? No. No, you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house. What are big sisters for? Well, I don't think this. You know? No. No, no. I wouldn't do you myself. I mean, that would be weird. I'll get one of the other girls to do it. This is so much fun! - Are you excited? - Yeah. Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there? It's beautiful! It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was. What are you going in there for? You want, like, a number? - Hey. - Hi. Bye. Okay. I'm done with my choices. These are final. - Well, it's about time. - Yeah. Very official. Yeah. Well, you know, Chandler printed it up on his computer. And who laminated it? That was me. All right, let me see. "Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley... ...Michelle Pfeiffer... ...Dorothy Hamill"? Hey, it's my list! You do realize she only spins like that on ice? - What's going on? - She broke my arm! - He touched my fanny. - She touched mine first! That's my job! So, what's the deal? I can have sex with you, but I can't touch you? - You can't have sex with her! - Did you think I was a hooker? No, okay. I know. You're a masseuse. It's cool. I'm not a cop! Ask Mr. Wiffler if he can wait for five minutes. Fine. I don't like you. So that's what you thought I did? God! That's not what I do! Wait, that's not what you do? No! Why would you think that? I don't know. This is the city, you know? I just... I mean... ...I don't know. Whatever. It's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyway. Wait. No, you're right. No, it was perfect. I can't believe I screwed it up so bad. - You thought it was perfect? - Well, no, maybe it wasn't perfect... ...but you know, it was pretty cool, you know? Because we had all those great talks, you know? Which ones in particular were great for you? Well, you know, about the tongue thing, you know? And how I told you about my likes and my dislikes. How I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt. Right. Okay. I feel like I can really talk to you because you're my sister, you know? Yeah. I guess I do. And then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me. Well, I wasn't hopping mad, you know? You hopped a little bit. Yeah, I'm really sorry. You know, I'm really... Okay. Well, this is my favorite part of the weekend. Right now. This. This? Oh, come on. We went to Times Square. We found ninja stars. I almost get my arm broken by a hooker... She's not a hooker. When I tell my friends about her, she will be.
